Oh my word.

I was never a person that yelled. I can remember the first fight with my husband where I yelled and it felt so foreign. Like I had used muscles I had never used before. I have to say I don't like it. I don't like to raise my voice and I'm sure that I don't look very attractive when I am yelling. However, since having children I have found that I must raise my voice on different occasions mainly for their protection but also I must admit because I was down to only one nerve and I will be if they didn't get on it and do the hokey pokey.

Tonight was an evening like that. My first born is not in this at all it is all my second. The boys are watching football and so she wanted to do something girly so up we went. I tried several things none of which were acceptable so after a few I told her to choose and she yelled at me. Now. Have I yelled at her before? Yes. Not in excess but yes I have. Do I allow a child to talk to an adult in that manner? No. No I do not. So, I calmly explained that her behavior was unacceptable and that I would be in the next room until she decided to calm down so she screamed at me to go downstairs with the others and leave her alone and then commenced bawling sobbing if you will into her pillow.

Now, I am a firm believer in the only reason you cry is if you are physically hurt or someone has died. If you are crying to manipulate someone's feelings you are not going to get my attention. At least not my positive attention. So, after enough bellows and tears to start some sort of tidal wave I got her out of bed and washed her face and brushed her hair explaining the reasons to cry and was she either A. Bleeding or B. Dead. She looked at me very strangely and said no. So, I knew we were back on the right path.

What is it about children that you can love them so much and yet they can make you so completely crazy?!

This is another reason in a very long list that I decided to start my diet regime after the kids are back at school. I would be completely tiny if I weren't an emotional eater.

My sweet boy!

I wanted to write about my sweet son. I hope to never forget how he is at this age , but just in case I wanted to write it down.

If you were to meet my son in public he would probably not talk to you. It would be head down and if you asked him a question a mumbled answer would be the best you would get. However, the second that he is around familiar people it all changes. Little Mr. Introvert becomes a huge extrovert the second he is comfortable in his surroundings.

He loves to play and watch any kind of sport or competition. He listens to instruction and is militant about following it. He loves to tell jokes that are rarely funny or make sense. His handwriting and schoolwork are impeccable. He loves rules and follows them to the T. He loves all holidays. Especially Christmas!

The day after Thanksgiving he begins asking when we can start decorating for Christmas and on goes his ratty (I need to get him a new one) Santa hat. He wears it everywhere! He sings Christmas caroles constantly and if he doesn't know all of the words he makes up new ones. He takes great pride in finding the perfect gift for each and every family member and gets upset if he can't find it. This year we were looking for something Green Bay Packers for his Uncle Will. Just so you know the only thing in the entire town was a baseball hat (Uncle Will is not the baseball hat type) a girl's tshirt (I stress UNCLE Will) and a pair of children's tennis shoes. That was it. Online you say? No, it is all about the hunt or game or competition to find the best present ever.

I asked him once which was his favorite of all the holidays and of course Christmas was his answer. I worried that it was because of all the wrong reasons. I asked him to tell me why it was his favorite and all of his answers had nothing to do with getting. His answer was I love to decorate and everyone seems so happy and the baking and the time with family and the candlelight service at church and it is just so much fun mommy! So, this year I am proud to say that I learned from my boy. I didn't let the season stress me out. I just let all that is Christmas happen and it was wonderful. Merry Christmas Everyone! and Happy Birthday Jesus!

Like little snowflakes from heaven!

If you're reading this and don't know me I need you to understand something about me. I am not a splurger by nature. I am a clearance rack lovin, deal findin', cheap mama that knows a good thing when she sees it. So, when I first heard about this place that only sold cupcakes and said cupcakes were $3 a piece I was all about running my mouth and saying $3?! $3?! You have got to be kidding me why would I pay $3 for a cupcake when I can make 2 dozen for about the same price.

Now, my mama raised me right. When I am wrong I admit that I am wrong and that is why I am writing this lovely confessional today. A couple of months ago someone had brought these little round treasures to a class party at my children's school. Now, kids not knowing a good thing when they see it had a couple leftover and they were sitting in the teacher workroom all creamy and beautiful like. They had come from this store called "The Cup" some might remember it as the Cupcakery it is on Kingston Pike in the Bearden area and they are about to open a new location in Turkey Creek, but never fear if you don't live in Tennessee there are more locations than just this look it up on line.

I sat there for awhile watching the box, finishing my task at hand. I finally stood up and walked over. There were two left. I decided to not be greedy and cut one in half loudly proclaiming how I would never spend $3 on a cupcake but since they were free....ONE BITE. One bite is all it took to change me from skeptic to believer. It took every ounce of control that I had to not go back and grab my other half and the other leftover to boot, but I didn't. Mainly because my loudness had called others to the wonderfulness and they were gone.

The second thing you need to know about me is when I obsess about something it is not a pretty thing. So it wasn't long before I had to see it for myself. The shop is absolutely adorable. Tranquil and serene with people that work there that understand the art of customer service. They actually talk to you and smile! Of course, why wouldn't they, they work in a cupcake shop if they didn't smile I would truly be worried about them. My first visit was just an excuse to see, a box of 6 for a friend. My second visit was a field trip with my kids 3 cupcakes and 3 glass bottle cokes. Are you kidding me? Glass bottle cokes! Does this place know my every thought? Glass bottle cokes are another one of my happy places but that is another story all together.

So, if you are down, or happy, or mad, or whatever your emotion is this place is going to do you good! I even took myself because I was a good girl at the doctor's office. The white, silver and pale green interior with clean lines and sweet smells is just what the brain needs to reboot. Go by yourself, take a friend, take a date. Believe me people I wouldn't steer you wrong. The Cup. You seriously need to go there!

What role were you cast in?

Have you ever thought of your life as a made for TV mini-series? Well, depending on how long you live I guess it would be more of a trilogy type movie thing but you get my drift. If you had a camera following you around every day of your life what role would you play? Now, it is all about you so you would automatically assume that you are going to be the lead. Not so fast Roger it might not be like that at all! You will be in every scene sure but you might be more of an extra or possibly a lamp. Depends entirely on you!

Are you the victim? The one that, in your mind only, no one likes, everyone hates, everything always happens to you? Well, that is your choice! I say pick something else. Let's see who is in this flick...

The blonde buxom bimbo. You could be her! You don't even really have to dye your hair or be big chested or for that matter be a bimbo. It is all acting!

The hero! Everyone wants to be the hero! You could be the coffee hero! Show up a little early to make sure the coffee is made for your coworkers maybe even bring in some special flavorings or sprinkles to make everyone's day a little brighter. Make it a weekly thing where you have a theme. Island - coconut Holiday - peppermint Monday - straight up caffeine!

The fairy. Do little nice things without people knowing it was you. Clean up the restroom area maybe bring in nice lotions or tissues for others to enjoy. Put dry ice in the toilets for a creepy effect. (Don't do this. I tried it. While it is hysterical every time you flush I'm pretty sure it messes up plumbing.)

The mother. Keep a first aid kit or candy on your desk so that people know if they need something you are more than prepared. If you like to cook do a theme thing. Have fun with it. Where I used to work we would sign up for breakfast fridays and everyone would bring something in. A single guy, on his morning, brought cold pizza and root beer. YUM!! and hysterical!

Just pick something. If you are going to your work, doing your job, leaving and wondering why you have no friends and everyone hates you WAKE UP!! They don't hate you they don't anything you. People don't have time for that stuff! It takes everything some people have to get dressed and going in the morning and yet they can still be pleasant and not make every little thing about them!

Let's say the world is a boat and the boat is sinking. There are lifeboats and people are helping other's into them out of the water. Now, are you waving your hands and saying HEY! Look over here. I'm freezing and about to drown? or are you just bobbing there on the wave waiting for them to come over to you and realize that you need help? I have news people they think you are dead and they are looking for survivors!

Take today. Imagine that it is a movie you are watching. Would you change the channel?

I'm still big.

So, the whole do a 5K by New Years thing is not going so well. You know how people that drink are really fun to be around until they stop drinking? Well, that is me with food. You take away my sugar and I am not a nice person at all and the headache that I am having is not a fun ship cruise either.

I'm not giving up don't get me wrong. My doctor has informed me that if I will just eat less and exercise more I should be okay.....DUH!!!! I wanted to ask him if he paid all that money to learn that in medical school because I could have given him that semester for free!!! It is not that easy!!! It is a whole chemical, emotional, stressful conscious decision to eat better and take time out for yourself and if you are a person that is not used to doing that it is not easy!!!

I am going to try again this week. I want to be better. It isn't just about being slim it is about feeling better and being healthier. I would pick the holidays to start...stupid...stupid...stupid. Wish me luck!!!

Stress Much?

You know when you are a stay at home mom you forget just how different people can be from you. When you are in the throws of raising small children you are either at home by yourself with your children or you are at a playgroup with other mom's that you hand selected to play with your children or you might be out in the big wide world but it is rare....very rare that you actually get to speak to another human for any amount of time because your children are trying to dismantle a bomb or better yet build one and you can not pay attention to the conversation long enough to get into it too deep.

Mine are both in school this year so this has given me a much different perspective than I have had for the last 9 years. I forgot about the mean people. The ones that are mean just to be mean. I understand that there are days when you can be off or have a headache or even not be feeling that well and you might seem a little grumpy...that is not at all what I am talking about. I am talking about the ones that talk loudly on their cell phones oblivious to anything around them. The ones that flip you off for waiting for the old lady to get out of the crosswalk. The ones that are so much more important than you are that they cut you off in traffic and after doing so making a gesture as if to imply that you are an idiot. Who are these people????!!!!

Why is everyone in such a hurry? Don't be a jerk, just plan better next time. Why does everyone think they are so important that they have to constantly be on their phone either talking or texting or connected in some way?!

News Flash: that is part of the reason that you are so stressed!!! Disconnect. Stop the madness that is ringing in your purse. That person can wait until you buy the stress relief scented lotion and mood altering candle. I can alter you mood. Sit down. Don't think about anything that you have to do. Look at some Christmas lights or make small talk with a stranger...breathe. I can guarantee one thing. The world will not stop turning. Things will work out. Now, if you have to pick up your kids go do that and take your break tomorrow but everyone else relax. Christmas is not a game of who can get the most stuff. It is the celebration of the birth of our Lord! If you are so crazy you can't see straight get everyone a gift card and be done with it then plan better next year! Sit on your couch in front of your Christmas tree with a quilt some Christmas music and some hot chocolate. Go outside look up at the stars and remember that it was a night like this that the sky was filled with the Heavenly host singing praises to our King. Listen to the stillness. Breathe. It is all going to be okay.

My mother.

My mother's birthday was on Monday. We had a dinner party for her and she enjoyed her day. I want to tell you about my mother because she is very special. Not just to me mind you but to many many others.

My mother is a very selfless person. She is never so concerned about her own feelings as she is of those around her. My mother married later in life and moved far from her parents to forge her own way in the world. She was a youth minister. She has always been interested in Children's ministries. She becomes involved in her student's lives and even takes them for a cone of ice cream or goes to have lunch with them at their school or both.

Her home is always immaculate although she would disagree with me on this one. She sews, she gardens,

This is reminding me of a verse in the bible. Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good. 12 She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away. 15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her servants. 16 She evaluates a field and buys it; she plants a vineyard with her earnings. 17 She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong. 18 She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night. 19 She extends her hands to the spinning staff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all in her household are doubly clothed. 22 She makes her own bed coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known at the city gates, where he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes and sells linen garments; she delivers belts to the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: 29 "Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!"

This verse is my mother. Okay, she doesn't have sons she has 3 daughters but we can rise up and call her blessed with the best of them, and I'm pretty sure she has never dealt in real estate but she could if she wanted too!

My mother is a funny kind wonderful person. She has the ability to crack me up with the simplest of statements. My mother was going with me to look at condos when I was newly out of college and we went to one that was still under construction. There was a porta potty out front and the door was cracked so my mother could see inside. She said, Well, those aren't all that bad! They even have a little sink for you to wash your hands. Now, I haven't graced many porta potties but I'm pretty sure I have never seen one with a sink so I had to see this. I looked for myself and could not stop laughing. My sweet little momma thought the urinal was a sink.

I love my mother. She is not only my mother but also my friend and I am a better woman for having her in my life!

I love my daughter.

My daughter is me only in smaller form. She looks like me, she acts like me, she is my mini-me.

Her school has these little books that she has to read twice every night and does she read them in her normal voice? No, she does not. She gives each character an accent and a funny little personality. She is especially fond of exclamation points as well. She will read a sentence find out that it has an exclamation point and then reread the sentence several times so that she can get the tone just so.

The other night we were walking in downtown looking at lights on our way to have dinner and there was a group of police officers standing around talking to one another. As we passed them, luckily out of earshot, she said in a funny little voice with her hand on her hip, Well, hello there officers....fighting crime?

She has to talk. Even if she doesn't have anything to say she will come up with a question. This mornings question? Mommy, do you miss our van when you aren't driving it? No, sweetie. Mommy, do you like the color of our van? Yes, very much. Mommy, do you think it is too light would you rather have another color? Is it fun to drive? and on and on and I am very very glad that the drive to school is only 4 min. Now, don't get me wrong I love that she will talk to me and I do not look forward to if she is a brooding teenager that won't talk to me but I am not much of a morning person and to even get me to talk before 9 am is a miracle and we are talking 7:45 here!

I love my little ball of energy and I pray that God will bless her life many times over. Thank you Lord for my sweet little girl whom I love so much!

What a day.

I got on here thinking that I was going to vomit all of the horrible things that made today just as precious as it could be (excuse me whilst I wipe up all of the sarcasm I just dripped.) but I say No Mam! I will not spew the ick from the world of blog. What good would that do anyway? None I tell you. So, instead I am going to talk about funny things.

I am going to tell you my recent made me laugh so hard I wanted to puke story, and yes I am sure I will be embellishing for effect but not much....here we go.

I have a friend. A beautiful wonderful friend who always looks like a million bucks when she graces the world with herself. Heels, Hair and all sorts of Hotness walk down the pathways of life when this girl goes out into the world.

Do you know the things that stores put out in front in order to attract customers? The are made of some sort of light fabric and attached to wind machines and they look like really tall men, and every once in awhile they will fall and dance about in order to get your attention? Okay.

My fabulous friend was walking down the sidewalk, minding her own business, in her own little world I'm sure she was thinking of the 40 million things on her to do list when all of a sudden someone put fabric over her eyes and was trying to apprehend her. She began with her best kungfu moves and commenced screaming bloody murder all whilst attempting the clutches of her would be attacker. Finally my friend broke free only to find that her attacker was a blow up thingy and the people working in the mattress store that it was in front of had obviously wet themselves from laughing so hard.

I love my friend. She brings joy to my life. She can make me smile without even being here. She understands me. She doesn't expect me to be funny, and she understands when I am not. I am very glad that God brought her into my life, and that even though we haven't lived in the same city in more than 18 years we are even closer now than we were back then. You will always have people in your life that influence you but it is the ones that are still friends years later even when you may not have spoken in awhile. When you finally do talk it is as if no time has passed at all. I can count on one hand the people that are like this to me and I am blessed to have them in my life.

The Christmas warm up.

Okay, Thanksgiving is over I will now begin talking about Christmas. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong but it truly bothers me that the Thanksgiving holiday gets the shaft. Halloween gets more attention than Thanksgiving and I just do not like that one bit. We need to take time to be thankful for all of the things that we have been blessed with.

But this isn't about my Thanksgiving soapbox this is about things I love about the holiday season. I love the fact that you can find Christmas carols with out very much effort. I have several that are my favorite like Mary, did you know....that one stops me in my tracks every time. I sing at the top of my lungs...Well, okay I don't know all of the words but I know Mary, did you know and that phrase comes up quite regularly in that song so I get by.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas depresses me. I really wish that someone would snack on a jolt cola and a ding dong before they crank this bad boy out because it truly makes me sad and nostalgic and there will come a day that I just might produce tears. Me no like....WAIT! Better yet have them drink a jolt cola and eat a ho ho....you know because of Santa and how he says ho ho ho!

That one about the shoes....I liked it at first. Thought it was sweet even got misty a few times but I am over it now. Too many people have put their spin on it and I just keep wondering things like why is this child shopping alone and what did the shoes look like you know what on earth made these shoes so special that it was her dying wish to own them? I know. I'm horrible but I'm just being honest. I felt the love and the compassion the first 140 times I heard the song but I just don't see it ranking up there with Rudolph or Oh Come all ye faithful.

Speaking of Rudolph...I love Rudolph. I love singing the opening part really slow and sultry like and then get all jazzy with the other part including the additions. LOVE Rudolph. Frosty the Snowman ranks up there too but I have trouble remembering the verses on that one.

LOVE Silent Night! I sing it every night before my daughter goes to bed. Year round none the less.

12 days of Christmas! I love to sing that with friends. It reminds me of Milligan Madrigals where we would pick people out of the audience to join in and they would humiliate themselves. LOVE. I also like the 12 pains of Christmas...WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY BLINKING!!!???

So many wonderful Christmas songs to enjoy! This is my first thing I love about Christmas!

Memories.

I want to start off this blog to ask a question that has been bothering me lately and then I want to reflect a little. Okay? Okay. How bad did John the Baptist's hair have to be if thousands of years later he is drawn and remembered as the man that had wild, crazy, unkept hair. This is coming from a time when hair salons, product, scissors or even hats were readily available. You can't tell me that everyone was walking around with every hair in place in a land that involved goats, and sheep and various desert like situations. These are the things that keep me up at night people!

Last night as I was putting my son to bed we were reviewing the day, and I started getting nostalgic. I asked him his favorite part of Thanksgiving, and he told me family, food and games. My kind of boy! I asked him if he wanted to know about what my Thanksgivings used to be and of course my child who hates to sleep said yes.

When I was a child my mother's parents lived in Michigan and my father's parents lived about an hour and a half away. So, most of the time we would either go to my father's parents or they would come to our house. I liked when they would come to our house because that meant I got to watch the entire Macy's Thanksgiving day parade but I also liked going to my Grandmother's house. The woman could cook! There were always 12 of us, with enough food to feed 100. She would cook every meat, vegetable and bread anyway you could imagine, and the desserts? Oh my word! There were enough desserts for everyone to have their own pie, cake or pudding!

I can remember driving up there squooshed in the middle of the back seat and being so very glad when my daddy said does anyone see Grandmother's mountain? Because that meant we only had about 10 more minutes in the car. I remember coming around that last corner before we would turn into Grandmother's long gravel driveway. My Granddaddy would be sitting on the carport waiting...watching. He was always so happy to see us. Once inside my tiny little Grandmother would stop whatever she was doing to get a big hug and off we would run to play whereever we wanted.

My cousin and I would fight over the relish tray, especially the olives, because that was the only thing we were allowed to touch while my Grandmother was finishing up lunch. I can remember rubbing vaseline on my poor uncle's bald head, and him letting us, for not apparent reason. The man has got to have some Sainthood points for that one. I can remember the one...did you hear that? One, Thanksgiving that my mother and Aunts made "the men and boys" clean up the dishes. I especially remember my Grandmother playing hide and go seek with her German Shepard and the dog would actually cover its eyes while she hid and look for her and then hide behind a bush with his tail sticking out when it was her turn.

My family would have a prayer and then everyone would fill their plates. The adults would go to a back room where the formal dining table was set up, leaving the 4 kids in the kitchen...with the food...especially the desserts! After we ate everyone would lay around the kids would play and we would all just enjoy each other's company. A perfect Thanksgiving in my mind as a small child.

Thanksgiving has changed over the years and it surprises me just how vivid some of my memories are. Smells bring back floods of memories or a certain song will spark my mind too. My extended family will not all be together today. Some have passed, some have moved to other countries, some have moved to other cities, but all will be remembered today in my heart.

Today's Thanksgiving will be filled with new traditions. I have children now. I am expected to cook now. I have in-laws. I am thankful for all of the blessings that God has heaped upon my head and I pray that today you will be able to enjoy your Thanksgiving no matter what your circumstances. If you are sad today remember the good times and find someone else who may be sad as well. Just like my mama always says the best way to make yourself feel better is by doing something nice for someone else.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

and we're done...

Okay, not done. I have not acheived complete physical fitness in less than 24 hours but I am going to hold off until after Thanksgiving. My kids will be out of school the rest of the week and to be quite honest I was not a nice person. You take away my junk food and I get extremely sarcastic and rude. Not exactly something that goes with the holidays. You never know what might come out of my mouth so in order to maintain Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward Men I am going to hold off until after Thursday. I'm not giving up so stop rolling your eyes. I am still making better eating choices I'm just not going to go cold turkey. Ha! Literally!

It has begun

Okay, I did it. I have begun "training". Ha! My accomplishments are....I turned down a friend who wanted to meet for breakfast. I actually went to the track and ran two of the 12 laps and walked the rest. I was doing great until the middle school PE class came out and they were doing their mile all whilst talking about their weekend and laughing and joking and I sound like some sort of obscene caller with a sinus problem. I did it though! I have not eaten horribly today but I haven't been great either...with time.

There was one middle schooler who ran his mile in about the time that it took some of those middle schoolers to go around one time and he wasn't even winded so I don't feel too bad. There are all levels of physical fitness at all ages. I hope to be less of a person with more of a spirit in about a month. We shall see!

I was driving to school this afternoon and noticed mums still in the pot along the side of the road every so often. I'm guessing some landscaping truck forgot to shut their tailgate and they will not be pleased when they get to the job several mums short. So, when I got to the school to work lunch I told that to a friend there and she told me of a story where she was driving along and every mile or so there would be a dead chicken. For like a hundred miles...that's alot of dead chickens. Now, I don't know what kind of farmer farms dead chickens but I'm glad my visual was flowers much prettier of a picture.

Have a great day!!!

5K?????

Okay, so I don't know why I'm putting this on here. Maybe it is because I want to be held accountable for it. I am going to attempt to do a 5K. Attempt. I am going to start in the morning accomplishing 5K. Seeing how long it takes me, how much of it I can actually run, see if I puke!

Hopefully I will be able to at least get around the track that many times. The weight is not going to just fall off especially with the way I've been eating. I still feel small in my head and then I see a photograph taken of me. People treat you differently too. As if you are not valid. Not all people mind you, more the ones that didn't know you before. Before you had the baby and then got so wrapped up in caring for another human that you forgot to care for yourself. Well, my baby is 6 so I can't use that excuse anymore. I should be able to accomplish this task. I want to be more fabulous at 40 than I was at 30 that is my goal. You think I can do it? We shall see. Wish me luck!

It isn't just a tree!

I have this thing I like to do. I like to plant a tree any time something substantial happens in my world so that I can remember it. I can look at the tree and remember how small it was when it was planted and how large it is now and how much time has gone past. I planted a tree when each child was born, I planted a tree when my husband's father died, you get the idea.

Well, a couple of years ago a little maple came up naturally in the flower bed at my old house. It was about chest high and I wouldn't dream of just pulling it. I had my dear friend "Mr. Tim" as my children affectionately call him to dig it up and plant it over by my deck so that some day it would provide shade for future cookouts. Well, that was when I thought I would be living in that house forever. I love that house. It is where I brought my babies home, I lived there for 12 years. It is home.

So, about 6 months ago when we came upon the opportunity to live closer to our lives we made the difficult decision to move. This decision meant leaving my son's now extremely large river birch and my daughters beautiful flowering cherry it made me sick. Saturday I got a call from Mr. Tim. He had gone by my old house and dug up my tree that I saved. It's okay we still own the house. It is now about 8 feet tall. He came to my new house and planted it in a location that will someday provide shade to my driveway. I am calling it Gracemont, and it makes me so happy. I love that I got to bring a piece of the old with me to the new. I love that I will be able to watch it grow. I love that even though life goes on and things change there are some constants. Mine today is a tree, a beautiful little tree.

Random thoughts

Weird thoughts pop in my head all the time. Things that I think if I say them outloud no one would understand me and everyone would think I was strange. Here are just a few recent ones.

Who got to decide that the only hair a woman should have is on top of her head? That other than her crown of splendor all other hair must be destroyed? and why did said person pardon the eyebrows? I mean as long as there are two of course. Just seems very strange to me. Don't get me wrong I like eyebrows..I'm just not sure what their purpose is.

Why do they make sz 16 or above skinny jeans? Because they're not.

I hate it when I am in traffic and I look up to see flashing lights with a sign that says Caution: Oversized load. I get wigged out that people are going to be driving along beside me and look over at me and say to themselves...Yes, Yes she is.

Why do onions smell like b.o? and why is that a tasty thing to eat? You wouldn't want to eat b.o. Why is a random root vegetable a good thing to eat?

I hate it when I answer the phone and the person who is calling says Who is this? Now, am I not the one that is in the dark? I mean if I didn't have caller id. Didn't they dial the phone with the sole intent of speaking to someone at my phone number? Did I throw them off? Shouldn't they say Oops, I might have the wrong number my name is Juan Valdez to who am I speaking as your voice drips of golden tones that warm my heart and I must know your identity.

Why do they call moms who don't go to a job that gets a pay check Stay at home moms? Cause we don't, stay at home I mean. Why is it working moms and stay at home moms? Do working moms never go home? Cause trust me this stay at home mom works. It is harder than anything I have ever done in my life. Not physically mind you more mentally. And the judgemental opinion of the general public that comes across when they ask you what you do is on my last nerve. I've been in the workforce. I have worked with people that the only thing they did all day was come to work get their coffee, sit in front of their computer playing either solitaire or surfing the internet go to lunch back for more of the same nonsense and then they go home. Every once in awhile they go to a meeting but that is about it. Now, mind you this isn't all working people but if you are going to assume that I as a stay at home mom just stay on my couch watching tv and eating bon bons all day then I am going to assume the same about you. That is the great thing about this world we all get to choose our own path so don't be judging mine just stay on yours and wave to me every once in awhile. Otherwise, shut up a little.

Why do tiny little blonde women like to drive big huge black SUVs that they can barely see over the dash? Get a pillow for goodness sake you are going to kill someone! or better yet why do old people think that if they drive 20 they will be safe? Why does anyone think they are capable of texting and driving? I can't even drive and find my phone in my purse let alone type on it. There is seriously nothing so important that you either can't pull over or wait. Get over yourself you are not that important.

Thank you for listening to my random ramblings. Have a great day!

Differences.

I noticed something yesterday. When my kid's school goes on a field trip the kids ride a bus and the parents follow. Now, the ratio of parents to kids on a field trip is pretty much one to one so there are alot of cars that go with the caravan. As I was watching the motorcade pull out of the parking lot I mused about one thing. How strange we must look going down the highway. You know how the government uses the big black SUVs? Well, that would be this only there is a school bus involved. Kind of looks like the kids are being protected by the secret service. Well, the kids and a few minivans are being protected by the secret service.

5 years ago when my son started at this school I noticed right off that there was a large majority of the moms that look alot alike. They are slim. They like tennis. They are fashionistas. Now, I am not slim, I couldn't hit a tennis ball if my life depended on it and the closest I get to being a fashionista is shopping at TJMaxx. I worried that I had chosen the wrong school. I worried that these people wouldn't like me. I worried that I didn't fit it. I wondered how on earth I had landed smack dab back in the insecurities of middle school but I still had the body of an almost 40 year old...bummer. I was in quite a tizzy until one day another mom asked me to lunch. We chatted while our boys played and she asked me how I was liking the school. I was honest with her I figured what did I have to lose. She laughed, and what she told me next has stuck with me and I tell others even still today. It also applies to anywhere so listen up.

She told me that I would find all kinds of people at the school. She said that yes, there were some women there that were rude and self centered but there were many more that were not. Mom's that were there for the very same reason I was. She said you just don't see them as much because they are the behind the scenes type mom's that don't need the whole world to see them and praise them for what they have done. She said that I would be surprised just how many people I would meet that I felt like I could connect to . I have to say that back then I was thinking WRONG!!! I will say now how very right she was. It doesn't have anything to do with what you look like or how you dress. You have just got to turn on your inner beauty light. I will say that when I started I thought the ratio of mean people to nice people had to be crazy off but in all actuality there are very few if any people that are rude and mean. Most are just livin' la vida loca just like me and it is all they can do to get their kids to school on time in the morning.

Anywhere you go you are going to run into people that are not like you. People that don't like you for no good reason. People that are better at some things than you. People that look better than you. Even if you see a person that is so gorgeous and put together they can't possibly be real that person still has insecurities. Do not walk into a situation and put up your guard before someone has even said their first word. You have no clue and if you clam up before they get to know you it is going to be one wicked circle of insecurity and discontent and that can't be good.

So, how do we fix this? Well, first up stop being so judgemental. When you walk into a situation don't automatically assume that everyone hates you because they don't look like you. Don't get me wrong. I went to a birthday party this weekend that was a real toughy. The moms all looked alike and were talking in a closed circle. What did I do? At first I got that icky feeling, the hyperdefensive, why on earth did I forget my cellphone get me out of here feeling. Then I looked around. There were several other moms playing the wall flower and I went over to one and introduced myself. I met some really nice moms and had a nice time.

Now, don't get me wrong there is always going to be a situation where people are rude and mean. People are rude and mean they just are, but you don't have to be. Your life is what you make it. If you want to feel icky and mad all the time then by all means do that but please stay in your room. Don't go out in public because that is a disease and I personally don't want it spreading around. Realize that the world does not revolve around you, everyone does not hate you and find someone that you can make smile. Otherwise call in mean. It is perfectly acceptable I promise. Yes, boss? I'm mean today I can't come in. I guarantee you they will gladly give you the day off!

Go out there, smile! Enjoy something about today. You aren't going to live forever you know and if you waste a whole lot of days with a chip on your shoulder the only person you are hurting is yourself.

I'm just sayin.

My Daddy.

I want to tell you about my daddy. My daddy has always been a well known well liked man that has lots of friends all over the world. I remember growing up this was extremely annoying because we would always get stopped and he would have to talk for another 10 minutes or so and when you are hungry that is an eternity. When I was 8 almost 9 we went to Australia for 2 months so that daddy could speak all over the country. He didn't want to leave his family for that long so we went with him. I can remember thinking okay, good..we are on the other side of the world we won't have to get stopped every few minutes while daddy talks. Wrong. We were walking down a street in Brisbane, Australia and someone yells my daddy's name. That's just the way it has always been. He is a kind giving man and has always had a listening ear for anyone in need.

My father has been a professor, a preacher, an Executive Director, and a president. He was the favorite professor of many and inspirational to all! When you go to hear my daddy speak it is like sitting down to have a conversation with a friend. He knows how to capture everyone in the audience and have them listening to everything he says. Whether his is speaking to thousands or just a handful it doesn't matter he captivates. Boring is not in his repetoire.

I am the youngest of three daughters. I would always tag along with my daddy when he would go to pick some one up who needed a ride to church or on Saturday mornings when he would run errands. It was our time. Saturday morning breakfasts, changed to Sunday morning breakfasts, changed to Tuesday lunches. Our meals change to fit our schedules but they are always extremely important.

Most people don't have the relationship with their parents that I have with mine. Growing up I wasn't very cool. I had friends but I would much prefer to hang out with my parents or a small group. My parents are fun to be around and can make me laugh better than most! I treasure that quality in everyone. If you can make me laugh your name is going on a very short list!

My daddy loves to send cards. My freshman year of college he sent one every single day so that I wouldn't get lonely. He sent so many to camp that they made up a song just for me when I would get mail. He even started mixing it up by signing the cards from some random name and pretending he didn't know who it was from. Hallmark loves my daddy!

There are so many qualities that I love about my daddy. I am glad that God blessed me with him and I am proud everytime someone says "You are just like your daddy!" I hope so! I thank him for always loving me, for teaching me to love the Lord, and for always being a huge encouragement to me. I love my daddy.

Squirrels

The other day I had the funniest thing happen and the story involved a squirrel. A friend of mine said I love your squirrel stories...ies...as if there were more than one. I thought how odd but then I thought about it. There is more than one. Some of which are not for the faint of heart and end with the squirrels ultimate demise but some are quite humorous so I thought I would tell them now.

I love working in the clinic at my kids school. I get to know some of the students from other grades, and see some of the teachers but most of all I love the reasons that these children come to the clinic. The tough cases are few and far between, the majority of the cases are of a "I just wanted to walk the hall" type nature. The other day a little girl came in with an escort (i.e. a friend to help her walk to the clinic) She had one eye covered and said that her book had hit her in the eye. I looked and could see nothing. No redness, no blood, no nothing so I gave her some ice and she left very happy with her ice bag. The protocol is to write in a log that something has happened to the child and the log stays with the child throughout their entire time at the school. Now, on the line above where I was writing comes the squirrel part. I asked the clinic supervisor what on earth had happened the last time this little girl came to the clinic and she laughed. This is what happened....

The little girl entered the clinic, which is pretty much a closet with a cot, in a very dramatic fashion and announced I am not a liar. The clinic worker said I didn't say you were. The little girl said I couldn't even make this stuff up! The clinic worker said okay what happened because there was no sign of trauma or need for this child to even be in the clinic. The little girl began in very dramatic hand gesturing fashion...I was on the playground picking up acorns when all of a sudden I looked up. There sitting on a branch was a squirrel who was also gathering acorns. We made eye contact and I could tell he was not very happy with me stealing his nuts...but I wasn't stealing them! Then out of the blue the squirrel threw an acorn at me and hit me on the head! On purpose! The clinic worker said Are you hurt? The little girl said No. The clinic worker said Well, then why did you come to the clinic? The little girl said A SQUIRREL JUST THREW A NUT AT ME AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD! The clinic worker said are you hurt? The little girl said well, no. The clinic worker said Would you like some ice? The little girl said Yes! Ice fixes all wounds in the clinic world.

So, that was the one that started it all.  There was one time when I still lived at home when my mother heard something under the couch and I went to look to see what it was and there staring back at me were two little beady eyes at which point I screamed and my mother screamed and I'm sure the squirrel screamed! It came running out, my mom grabbed a broom I opened the door and the stupid thing went further in the house. My mother starts shutting all the doors and a neighbor walks up to the front door to witness general mayhem and broom slinging. The silly little thing finally walked out on his own.

One time on a ride with my parents to see my grandparents I was laying down in the backseat reading and I heard my mother say Run little Squirrel Run little Squirrel...thump thump...JIM!!! Any ideas what happened there?

Another squirrely incident happened next door, the neighbor once had a squirrel that just would not get out of the house so he got a shotgun and shot the thing....in his house....on the draperies.  

The kids found "a mouse" on the playground and wanted me to help it. I went to the "mouse" and that was no mouse. It was a baby squirrel whose eyes weren't even opened yet. I went by my vet and they said that the college vet clinic was the only place that would take wild animals. I wanted to say this thing isn't wild it is a baby but whatever. We took the little thing to the school and they will rehabilitate him and send him on his merry way. So, there is one good thing I have done for a squirrel.

Squirrels. Who would of thunk?

Life is short

I had my morning rocked today. This morning was my dog's appointment to be groomed and be updated on her shots. Her groomer is located in with her vet so it is always an easy process and I feel very comfortable knowing that they are in the same location. Gay is the groomer's name, the dog whisperer is what they call her. She can calm even the most skittish dog. She genuinely loves what she does. When I walked in there was no one at the front which is extremely rare and then you could tell that the check in ladies were completely distracted. They asked me what was my appointment for and I explained that my dog was there to be groomed and shots. The one lady just turned and started crying.

Last night my groomer had been killed in a car accident. Her husband had called that morning and they all thought that he was calling to say that the groomer's mother had died, but he explained that there had been an accident and that Gay was gone. Gone.

Now, I wasn't that close to my dog's groomer. We had little 5 min conversations when I would drop off or pick up. She was a very nice lady. So, why you might ask is this rocking my world? It is because it is making me look at the big picture of how very short life is. The things we worry about and stress over are stupid! As long as you are above ground and able to live your life, LIVE IT!!!! Don't worry about what is going to happen tomorrow or next week what if there isn't a next week? What if there isn't a 6 months from now? Gay thought that she was going to be grooming dogs today. She's not. If you knew that today was going to be your last day what would you do? DO IT! Okay, don't go crazy on me you don't need to now rush to the airport and go to Hawaii and tell everyone you did it because I told you to. I'm talking about the little stuff that has been in your head for weeks or months or years of I should really do this or when I get time I would like to...

Most importantly tell the people that you love that you love them. If you are having a bad day suck it up. You are still breathing. I hate bad days they are horrible, but it is really easy to turn them around. If bad keeps happening to you do something nice for someone else and show that bad day that you could give a flyin' whoop about it. The devil would love for you to have a bad day and just waller in it. Self pity, whining, loathing. Yes, everyone hates you. Yes, you look horrible. Yes, you do smell bad. You know what I have to say about that? No they don't! No you don't and Well, okay would it kill you to take a shower?

If you say I'm too busy or I don't have time yes you do. It doesn't take long to send a quick email to say I'm thinking about you. Hey, if you do emails that whole you look bad and you smell thing goes right out the window cause stank can't go through the computer.

My day is crazy. My week is not much better but I just keep thinking about what if? If I die tomorrow all of the things that I am so worried about getting done won't matter. Life will go on. The world will keep turning. I challenge you to remember today what is important. Are you fighting with someone? Get over it. Are you worried about a job? God will provide for you. Are you scared about something? Find someone impartial to talk to.

God made so many of us to help each other out and yet we sit in our little houses and never reach out to others. Get out there and make someone smile today. Anyone. You might want to bathe first. I'm just sayin.

and if you are reading this you probably know me and I want to tell you I love you and all that you mean in my life. Have a glorious God gift of a day!

Less is More

Okay, I've tried but apparently the pounds that I have gradually put on post pregnancies are not going to just spontaneously fall off. Why? I don't know. They spontaneously got on there. I mean one day I was a strapping young woman with all of her wobbly bits in the appropriate places and then wham bam thank you mam 12 years later I'm a mess. I blame Al Gore. I'm not sure why but I do.

I have decided that I need to be much more proactive in my quest to be better at 40 than I was at 30. I'm not going for Cougar or anything I just want to accomplish a few tasks....

1. I don't want to jiggle.
2. I want to banish the 2nd chin into oblivion.
3. I would like to have a waist.
4. I would like to be able to cross my legs in a lovely fashion.
5. I would like a random stranger to whistle at me.
6. I would like to buy clothes with one digit sizes.
7. I would like to go into the store in the mall that their sizes only go up to a nine and be able to tell the woman that was rude to me that she has made a huge mistake.
8. I would like be able to be in a family picture without feeling like I need to use a child or two and part of my husband to cover my poundage.
9. I would like to feel better physically and mentally.
10. If I want to eat a cookie, I don't want to feel guilty about it.

Now, this is not going to be an easy task. It is going to take a while. It took me 12 years to put it all on it is going to take more than an overnight to get it all off. I'm sure I will have my backslide moments. I'm not going to be all radical because I can guarantee you that won't work for me. If I say no chocolate you will find me one Sunday morning behind the baptistry with a bag of Caramel treasures speaking in tongues. It will not be pretty and I will not demonstrate...I hope.

My mom has this saying Less is More. That is going to be my catch phrase. We have all seen the women that are wearing so much makeup that you could scratch your name in it. Don't you just want to go up to them and wash it all off and reapply about an 1/8 of what they had on and show them how good they could look? This is my concept. I feel that with less weight draggin around behind me....literally...I will feel better. I plan to move the whole thing not only into weight but also into the clutter of my house and other areas as well. We shall see.

Wish me luck!

Secretariat

My family and I went to see the movie Secretariat this weekend. It is a really good movie and I highly suggest it! I'm not sure I came away with the message that the writers and producers were trying to put out there but I wanted to share my perspective with you.

My entire life I have wanted to be a mother. I can remember when the recruiter for my college was asking what I wanted to major in, how very foreign that question was to me. I didn't know. I really hadn't even thought about it. I knew that my path was get a high school diploma, get a college diploma, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. Now, I don't want to hear about how very archaic my way of thinking was. It is just what I always wanted. So, my response to him was I want to help people and his response to me was Communications.

Trust me. As a parent I am going to be much more proactive with my children in having them think about the fact that every decision you make is made toward the rest of you life. College, friends, relationships etc. etc, but this is more about my path and what I have learned so let's move on.

I have always been exactly on my path. I graduated from college. I got a good job. I had my own apartment. I paid my own bills. I married my high school sweetheart. We had a nice life and we decided to add two beautiful children to it. It has always been and remains to be a wonderful life.

Penny Chenery is the heroine of the movie Secretariat. She went along about the same path as I did. College, marriage, kids and then when she was almost 50 she was faced with a decision to either take the same path she had been on or add the complications and confusion of learning how to run a horse breeding business. She took the complicated road. At 50! It inspired me. Not only did she succeed but the product of her toil is forever burned in history as by far one of the most outstanding conclusions the horse world had ever seen.

Now, I am not going to go run a horse farm and I don't see any thing of the sort coming down my path but it might and I'm not too old. You see this has been my worry or frustration. The degree I received while it is a good one, is outdated. Most of the technical mumbo jumbo that I learned is outdated and considered archaic. So, when it is time for me to go back out into the work world what am I to do? Probably more schooling for sure. I'm okay with it though. The movie Secretariat has shown me that no matter how old I am I can always learn something new and be really good at it, even the best! The job I am currently doing is raising my children, I'm not going to add keeping the house because I am horrible at that but I will get better I will get there. I am raising my children to be excellent additions to this world and when the time comes for them to go off on their own path there will still be a path for me and it will be a good path, an exciting path, a path of many possibilites I just don't know what they are yet.

Road Rage

Road rage is everywhere. I hate driving in heavy traffic because people are way too high strung for me. I think cars should be equipped with meters that register how ticked off you are and then pump the appropriate amount of nitrous oxide into your car to make you chill out! It crosses all barriers too from the rich to the poor from the old to the young everyone gets a little cranky on the road.

When someone cuts me off I am completely okay with it if they hit the gas and get out of my way. I say kudos to you for not causing a wreck with that horrible piece of driving you were doing there now get along little doggie. However, when someone rushes to get past you and then gets in front of you only to slow down about 20 mph I am not a happy little girl. In cases such as this I imagine myself being extremely large and being able to pick up their car and then place it going in the opposite direction on the interstate preferably not near an exit so as to maximize their turn around time. I imagine how they would be completely disoriented and wonder what on earth was going on. I don't hurt them or anyone around them mind you they just really ticked me off.

I truly used to love to drive. It was calming and pleasurable. Too many people are too stressed when they get behind the wheel nowadays. Calm down and drive people!!! We will all get to our locations safely if you would chill out and pay attention.

I would also like to add a side note. I am not a texter, but recently I had a friend text me whilst driving and all I was going to text was I'm lost and I couldn't even get to the right screen I gave up. Yeah, I don't know how on earth you people are having conversations while driving put the thing in the trunk you are going to kill somebody!

My bagger friend.

There is an older man who works as a bagger at the Food City near my house. This guy cracks me up! He is very country and hysterical. One time when I was checking out and he was packing up my stuff he picked up the can of baked beans that I had selected and said Dems good beans. Dems so good you have to roll down the front and back winda! I laughed outloud and the teenage clerk didn't get it. We had to walk him through it and then he understood.

Today he recognized me and smiled. He was handing me my receipt at the end and wanted to show me that I could get gasoline for my car with the points that I had saved up. He said Do you get gas? I said Well, it just depends on what I eat. He looked at me so strange and then about lost it! He said You're my kind of girl! I don't know if I should be scared of that or not I mean he has to be upper 70's !

Stop it already.

Okay, this is going to be my public service announcement of the week. This weekend I have witnessed a whole mess of random sarcasm. Not humorous sarcasm but more of the hateful rude variety and quite honestly I'm over it.

I'm all about a good sarcastic zinger that is not rude or hurtful but the blatant stuff....stop it. Now. It doesn't put anything out there that is productive.

I think the most humorous was a woman who without trying was dressed like a mime. Striped shirt, black pants...a beret! We were all walking in a highly trafficated area and we came to a crosswalk. The sign was the big red hand that means stop or you will more than likely be smooshed by a motor vehicle. Apparently not in mime world, because on she trod. When she just about got hit she didn't say a word she just banged on the car and gestured to the ground and ahead of her and then to the sidewalk on the other side of the road and rolled her eyes as if the motorist was stupid. Mime girl was totally in the wrong, and yet she is the one that is mad? No honey, take your little mime tooshie and learn the ways of the land red big hand does not mean come on over the water is fine it means STOP!!!

We were walking two and two on the sidewalk. I want to repeat that....on the sidewalk. A van that apparently missed its turn came up on the sidewalk and had to wait for my husband to pass. As he was on a sidewalk and didn't realize that the van driver was in need of the SIDEWALK, he didn't speed up his pace he just kept walking. This unnerved the driver of the van and his overly vocal passenger. They didn't see me because we are always several paces behind, but I wanted to walk up to the van and tell them that the sidewalk was more of a foot traffic thing rather than a van thing, but see....I held my sarcasm. Quite honestly mine was more justified and yet I still held it.

Why oh why is our first knee jerk response when someone offends us to make them feel bad too? What good does that do? I honestly think it would make them feel worse if you would return kindness to their hatefullness. I have a friend that was in Walmart. He was wearing a navy shirt and khaki pants. It was his lunch break so he went to one of those self checkout thingys to pay. When he was finished and started to walk off the man behind him said "Hey Jerk!, are you going to ring me up before you go on your lunch break." Now, my friend does not work for Wal mart even if he was wearing the appropriate colors, kind of like if you wear a red shirt and khaki pants to Target. My friend took the high road and just walked off after the associate at the self check explained this is self check sir he doesn't work here. Now, he could have said 1 of 100 things. My friend is very witty and extremely sarcastic. He could have put that guy in his place in several different ways, but he didn't he chose to not spread any more hate.

If you meet a hateful person today. Someone that should really be put in their place do it in a totally radical way, before they leave your space have them in a better mood. Have them smiling and happy. If you are hateful to them they are just going to spend their day getting madder and madder. If you make them laugh you could possibly turn their whole day around and it will affect others I promise. Watch your own reaction to things when you get mad are you then nice to the next person you meet or do you snap at them? Stop the ball from rolling I say...REMEMBER THE MIME!!!!

Have a great Monday people!

Circus Fun

In honor of October 10, 2010, I am going to make a list of 10 things I observed at the circus today whilst there with my family.

1. If the Ringmaster of your circus is a woman instead of a man the big booming voice is going to get on your nerves after about the first act. First off it is really hard to even understand what she is saying and at some point in time you are going to start wondering if that is what her voice sounds like all the time. You know like when she is waking up her children or ordering a meal? That whole Let's get ready to rumble voice is more suited for a man in my own humble opinion.

2. Something called the Wheel of Destiny can't be good. I spent the whole time wondering if the guy was tripping just to make the crowd go wild or if he was really a clutz. Imagine a huge metal structure that is two circles reminiscent of hamster wheels on the ends that spins round and round because of two men prancing about inside of them. At some point one of the men thinks hmmm walking on the inside of the hamster wheel is so passe I believe I will walk on the outside and pretend to trip and fall. I would certainly hate to learn the hard way that the fright factor is not necessary. The mere fact that you can walk in a hamster wheel some 4 stories above ground is awe inspiring. If you want to do something wild light yourself on fire for heaven's sake.

3. When it is a 3 ring circus and there are 3 juggling acts in the 3 different rings who are you supposed to watch? I would be watching one group and then out of the corner of my eye I would see that another couple was standing on each other's shoulders then my eye would wander to someone on fire and then some blonde who would catch balls behind her back although bless her heart she missed. It was all very impressive but I would have liked to been able to concentrate on each act.

4. I have found that in order to work in the circus if you are pretty, skinny and somewhat able to walk and pose you are well suited for most of the positions. If you can also point and smile you are in!

5. I don't care how many sequins and feathers you are wearing if you are riding an elephant it is going to look strange. You can not ride one of those big mamas and look graceful. It looked like it was a really good ab workout to stay on those things without holding on, you know because of all the pointing and smiling.

6. My personal favorite was the act that had two men dressed in open shirts in order to reveal their lovely hairless chests with sequins galore riding motorcycles decked out in windshields that looked like skulls that were being driven on high wires. Beneath the wire and attached to the cycles was a metal contraption that contained two skantily clad women who were really good at the posing not so much the gesturing because they were holding on for dear life. They would race back and forth on the wire pausing only to flip the entire ordeal or point and gesture. To these people I would like to say. With all of the stuff you have going on it is completely unnecessary to paint your face to look like you have some sort of strange eye patch scar thingy. Ain't nobody lookin' at your face!

7. If you are texting whilst trying to watch your child and the circus whilst rushing down steep stairs and you think you are not going to trip and make all those around you laugh with glee...you are misled.

8. The men selling things up and down the aisles will place themselves in front of you during the part where the woman is shooting an arrow with her feet in order to pop a balloon all while dangling upside down if you do not buy their crap.

9. With a circus being a joy for people from all walks of life to go to it is highly likely that you are going to be sitting near someone that annoys you. My personal joy? The small child that was placed behind me who was allowed to purchase the siren light up thingy that he LOVED by the way and made the precious treasure go off constantly not only was it lighting and sounding my world he had it resting on the back of my chair so I was feeling the vibration too. Lovely. I will say that of the entire afternoon this was the only unpleasantry and in retrospect it wasn't that horrible. A massage if you will.

10. Does anyone else ever wonder what is going through the animals brains? Assuming they understand it all. The tigers look pissed off. The elephants look bored out of their skulls and the dogs just look like they are having a blast! The only thing that this circus was missing was flying monkies. Every circus needs a monkey!

Happy 10-10-10 everyone!

Poor pitiful me.

Do you ever have one of those days where you are quite positive that the whole world is out to get you and that there is not one person on the planet that likes you? I have got to start tracking mine on a calendar because I am quite certain that it has something to do with either hormones or the moon or the earth's gravitational pull or China. Something, I'm not sure what but every so often I get in the middle of the poor pitiful me party and I realize hey, I was feeling this exact same way not so long ago and I remember thinking how very stupid I was when I came out of it.

My mother has another life lesson. She says that if you are feeling bad you should do something nice for someone else and it will make you feel better. IT WORKS! What you don't believe me? You sayin' my mother is a liar? Oh, thems fightin' words right there. I'm serious though, try it.

If you overthink anything you can get it so far fetched that it isn't even possible to be as bad as you have made it in your head. Let's say you have to stay home with a sick child and no one calls to check on you when several were aware of your situation. Now, when you are in the throws of the vomiting and the constant need of a child it can be overwhelming and then when they sleep or are watching a show your mind starts to wander. It goes a little something like this...

Mmm. What is that smell? I cleaned up all the vomit. Is it me? Do I smell like that? Maybe I should shower but if I move I will wake her. Hmmm. Okay, I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, I probably won't go anywhere today I wonder if I would have time to get a shower. I would love a shower but what would I wear? I'm not going anywhere but I had that new dress to wear to church ah man! Hey, it is like 4 oclock and no one has called to check on me. Wow, no one must care. Well, I never. How dare they not at least call to see if I need something anything I mean for goodness sake I'm here alone. Don't they know that? Well, obviously they don't care enough about me to worry. Maybe I will look for another church where they will care about me. I bet the people at the church with the blue carpet would care about me. Blue carpet just screams encouraging caring congregation. Yes, that is what I will do. I will start looking around this week and I will find a new church where at least one person will care enough to call.

See, here is the problem with that scenario. It's all about you! It isn't all about you in this crazy big world. You have to realize early on that there are billions of people in this world and to think that the world stops when you want it to is crazy! Now, I want you to think back. How many times have you known a friend to be home with a sick child and you called or took them lunch or even thought twice about them. If the answer is never well then there you are. If the answer is all the time well then you are hanging out with a bunch of self centered losers and you should totally get all new friends.

A friendship is a full time job. The best kinds of friends are the ones that are not so needy that you have to pamper and cater to them. If we are comparing friends to plants then I will say I like evergreens more than a hibiscus. A hibiscus has to come in in the winter and you have to do stuff to it to make sure it will bloom an evergreen you plant it and you are golden. It will grow and be green all year long. It isn't that I want to take my friends for granted but I am in the time of my life that isn't necessarily about me so much as it is about the ones around me and there already isn't that much me left so I need friends that understand that and respect it. I try to be a good friend when I can really I do.

I guess the message of this little rant is before you get into the old poor pitiful me pot think about something first. Think about three friends who might have it worse off than you and think about something that you could do to lighten their load. Even if it is just a phone call or a note in the mail or if you are making dinner make enough for two families and surprise them with dinner one night. If you start spreading around the happy the happy will come back to you. I promise! You callin' me a liar?

Just call me Oprah.

Okay, I am going to go all old cranky woman for a minute so bear with me.

What is up with all of the texting? Why on earth do 11 year olds need to be texting...Hey. to a friend that they just spent the day with at school instead of talking to a friend that is sitting right next to them? It's not just kids though. I have had grown women that I thought I was having quite the interesting conversation with whip out a phone and text away. I want to ask what they just texted but would that be rude? As rude as them whipping it out in the first place? Do two rudes cancel themselves out?

I will give you cell phones. It is nice to be able to feel secure that if your car was to spontaneously careen off of the road you would be able to call for help or if you were caught out late at night. I'm going to give you that. I will even give you a quick phone chat with a friend while you are waiting on your kids and have nothing else better to do and no one around to talk to, but that is where I stop. I blame air conditioning. or television. I blame air conditioning and television.

When my mom was a little girl they didn't have television. You heard me. They didn't even have television and because she was the youngest daughter of a minister they didn't even have it when others did have it. She can remember vividly her best friend all of a sudden not playing with her any more because that friend had to go watch television in the house. Before air conditioning everyone would sit on their front porch and chat with passersby. Now with air conditioning we spend the summers locked up tight as a drum in our little comfortable cocoons. Oo oo I could blame computers to, but I'm not going to. I would tell you why but that will be a whole other post.

I have a challenge for you. I like to play a game. I found out that my daddy plays it too which I found hysterical. I am so much like my daddy it isn't funny. The game is this....When you meet a person whether you know them or not your goal is to have them happier when they are leaving your little visit than when they first started it. A smile is good. A laugh is better. Do not crawl into your little proverbial cocoon because you are shy. Get over it. These people don't know you! They will probably never see you again so why do you care if they think you are crazy? It is exhilarating to have a person go from angry and fuming to jovial and laughing all because of something you did or said! Try it. I promise you won't be dissappointed. I would challenge you to not text for one day but I'm guessing that would be like you asking me to go without sugar for a day and that ain't happenin' either so we will just agree to disagree on that bad boy K? K.

People of Walmart!!!

So, last night as I was saying good night to the world I checked in on FB one last time before signing off. A friend asked me if I had ever seen the website people of Walmart.com. Now, before you type that little address into your browser I need to warn you. There are some crazy whackadoos out there. Some are angry, some are just sad, some seem to be way too attached to their pets. There are hundreds of different photographs taken of patrons of different Walmarts in their natural state. As I was looking through the different shots simultaneously lowering my ability to be shocked and hoping I didn't turn up on the next shot I was thinking as I sometimes do.

These people are unlike anything I have ever seen in public. Their appearance is shocking, appauling, laughable. It is almost as if they are clueless to any reality around them. I then realized that that is my opinion. They may be the king of their world. It may be perfectly normal to have hair that is matted into a column that drags behind you like a mummy. To them it might be okay to show your tooshie to the general public just because you can. A bra on a man? Sure why not he likes his girls to be supported too. My point is this world is HUGE! There are Billions of people on this planet and not all of them think the way I do. They don't understand that Chicken is Fried, Pie is apple except at Thanksgiving and if you are going to do anything with chocolate it had better be sweet.

The part that blows my mind is that God loves ALL OF US!!! You heard me...ALL OF US! He loves us even if we don't acknowledge him. He loves us no matter how weird we act or look. He loves us because we are his whether we like it or not. The other night at soccer practice my daughter was doing something I had asked her not to do. I had called her to me and she knew full well why so she decided to act like she couldn't hear me. It was comical really I could hear her talking to herself and trying not to look my way. She knew that there was a reality just around the bend and she was doing her best to ignore it. I think that whether people are Christian or not they know right from wrong. They can sense a higher power. They feel him standing there. Now, he is much more subtle than I am I marched right into her face and explained to her that she was in big trouble and she needed to march herself back to the van and await punishment. God isn't going to do that. He's better than I am. He will gently remind you and patiently wait for you, but there is a time limit. You have to realize that God is Love and then turn around and tell others.

Christians are called to spread the word to all of God's people. It isn't going to be easy. They are not all like us. They don't speak our language. They don't root for the same team or even drive on the same side of the road. Their way of thinking will be completely foreign to you. Hold tight to the Word of God and spread his light so that all people will come to know him and love him as you do. There are people that have never even heard about Jesus. They know he is there. They can feel him. They sense his power. They are not necessarily in Africa or in some desolate part of the world. There are people very close to you that need to hear about Jesus. Go to Walmart for heaven's sake those people are CRAZY!!!!

Things that bugged me today

So, I'm not sure if it was the moon or what today but there were several things that just really struck me as strange and I want to talk about them.

Vanity plates. I thought they were really cool in high school. I used to try to think of some 7 letter phrase that was really cool. I never came up with one that I found to be witty enough to spend the extra money on. Today I was driving behind IGOT2GO. Now, the first thing that I'm wondering is where. Where do they have to go? The bathroom? Is this an all the time type problem? Are they a doctor that deals in the lower digestive track? Wouldn't that be UGOT2GO? Or is it a place? Did they get to go to some concert or country that they had always wanted to see? Is this really vanity plate worthy? I contemplated going up to them at the red light but you never know who is packing and someone with a vanity plate like that might be IGOT2GO to jail. So I wasn't messing with them.

While I was still behind him or her (I never got close enough to figure that one out) I passed a Quality Inn. I'm sure it is a fine Quality Inn. I'm sure it is clean and a standard hotel room that is perfectly fine for a weary traveler to refresh themselves in on a long road trip. I'm sure their little soaps and shampoos and what not are completely adequate for the price that you pay for your room. The sign out front however made me wonder. It said Best Hot Breakfast In Town! Really? That is a pretty strong statement from a Quality Inn where most of its cooking is done in a microwave. So, then as I'm driving all I can think of is all of the other places that I would think would have a better hot breakfast than them. Then I am wondering if it makes Cracker Barrel (who is right across the street) mad. I would put Cracker Barrel's hot breakfast up against any other one in town. I then thought of all the little grandma's who still make full hot southern breakfast for their little grandpa husband's with scratch made biscuits and ham fresh from the farm and I'm seriously considering turning around and going into the Quality Inn and just saying YOU LIE! and turning around and leaving. I'm not one to spread ill will though so I didn't.

Why is food that is bad for you so easy to get and cheap? I needed a quick something to eat before going over to the kids school for pet day today. I contemplated a cafeteria that is known for its southern goodness but there just wasn't enough time. So, I decided on Krystal. It would be fast and I didn't want something big. I got a $1.49 kids meal...$1.63 with tax. For my money I received a small drink, a Krystal, fries and an order of sweet bites...think munchkins fried. As I consumed my lunch I thought about what I was eating. Not smart. Grease with a side of sugar followed with a blob of fat. Yummo! I guess I just need to plan better. I know places have wraps and other sorts of better for me food but not for that cheap! CRAZY!

and that ladies and gentlemen is what drove me crazy today.

Kids say the craziest things.

My kids are so the complete opposite of one another. My eldest is very serious and literal and does not understand "kidding". My youngest is just funny in everything she does whether it is appropriate or not.

One time when they were younger we were in a public restroom. My son kept peaking into my daughter's stall to see if she was almost done as it was taking her quite sometime to finish her business. She yelled at him. "Stop looking through my crack!" I'm sure the other potty goers got quite the giggle out of that one either that or DHS is still looking for me.

My daughter's latest thing that cracked me up was from this weekend. She kept telling me that she wanted to go to the zoo. She said that everyone was talking about a beaver at the zoo and she wanted to go see it. I finally told her that I didn't even think the zoo had beavers and she was adamant that everyone was talking about this Justin Beaver and how much they loved it and she wanted to see him too. Ahhh. Justin Beiber? She looked at me funny she said do you know about it? I said yes sweetie and I'm so very glad that you think he is a beaver. We just might go to the zoo this weekend to see if we can find him! Is it wrong of me to want them to stay young and innocent and to not be some raving lunatic for a boy that really really needs to cut his hair? I'm sure he is a wonderful person, but the phenomenon that surrounds him is not something I want my child getting sucked into! I am holding onto young and innocent for as long as I can!

Blessing or a burden?

Why is it that it is not socially acceptable to go out into the world when you are sick but if you are a jerk it is perfectly okay? I ask this mainly because a bad attitude will spread quicker than any disease and infect more people than any flu ever thought possible, and in some extreme cases even kills more people than the flu every deemed necessary!

If you wake up in the morning with a bad attitude think to yourself hmmm...do I want to possibly start a road rage epidemic today? If it is not possible to stay in bed then at least stay away from others. There is no reason to send those bad vibes out there because they will eventually come back around and bite you on the tooshy. So, go out there and be a blessing not a burden. You can do it. yay!

You are important!

Before you read this please understand that I was never an English major and I am sure something will be dangling... participle or what not, but I just want to say this all be it inadequately because I feel it to be important. So, don't expect my normal slapstick this is a smidge deeper K? K.

My mother has a habit that is amusing. She tries to guess what people that she has never seen before are doing. There is no way of knowing if she is accurate or not so it is always one of those conversations that just kind of sits there. You want to continue it but you can't. One Sunday morning we were driving to church. My mother looked across to see an older gentlemen driving a car dressed in a suit and tie with a hat on. My mother said "Oh, that is so sad." My father said Why? Why is that sad? My mother said because he is a widower and he has to go to church by himself. Without missing a beat my daddy said He is not! His wife had to stay home because her mother has come to live with them after falling last week and she doesn't feel comfortable leaving her mother alone and her mother doesn't feel comfortable getting out and about yet. The look of relief on my mother's face was apparent until she realized he had made it all up.
Do you ever sit and wonder about all of the people in this world and how we only come into contact with a small percentage in our lifetime? One of my favorite things about facebook is seeing friends that know friends. You know that "friends in common" feature. It really is a small world.
Do you ever sit and wonder what your roll is in this world? Do you feel small and unimportant? Do you ever wonder if you are making up words like unimportant? Non-important...importantless...inadequate. Okay, do you ever feel inadequate?
I was reading a book with Alexander it was talking about Leonardo da Vinci which by the way does anyone else find it amusing that he was da vinci because he was from Vinci? Think of all of the people that were from Vinci and there is really only one who is still widely recognized as being da Vinci. In this book it talks about the hundreds of different ideas that Leonardo had and how he felt like a failure because many of them never worked. Well, they never worked for him but later they were created into things we use in everyday life. Did you know that he created an airplane? It never worked. Think of how dissappointed he must have felt. He must have wanted to hang it all up and just go be a....okay, I got nothin'...what is a mundane job in Vinci? Why is nothing seeming mundane right now? If I say glass blower that is an art, if I say pasta maker that is an art, if I say potter again art.
I guess what I am trying to say is that You are an intricate part of this world. You! We all are. Even if you are staying at home with a small child and never seeing the light of day you are still contributing. You could be raising the next Leonardo. You could be reenergizing yourself for life after small children. You could be going into a job day in and day out and feeling like you are getting nowhere. Your contribution may have nothing to do with your job maybe it is that you are going to meet someone at that job. Maybe you are going to be walking to that job you hate and everyday you are going to pass this one person and encourage them thus causing them to have a better day and go out and accomplish something. You never know. It is a big big world and God is the only one who can see the big picture. Do not be discouraged. Do not fret. You are very important. You. Whether anyone else sees it or you see it you are important.
Take a look at the human body. Think of all of the parts that make up the body. You think of the big parts like the heart, the eyes, the liver, the kidneys, but what about a white blood cell? Just one. Doesn't seem very important does it, but it is. What about an eyelash? Maybe a cell that makes up the eyelash. Every part of your body works together and every part plays a very important role. You play an important role, and I am blessed for having you as a friend.

And away we go!!!

So, I'm finally coming up for air. Life is still completely crazy but there are at least a few pockets of time that I can grab onto as ME time. I have decided to write a blog so that I feel at least somewhat productive with my personal time. I mean I could play solitaire or some sort of puzzle game and I could justify that by saying that I am keeping my mind sharp for my later years, but then what would I have to show for that? I would be really good at solitaire? Whoopee. I could completely clean and organize my house but the second that someone came home and trashed it my eye would start to twitch there would be a flash of light and the next thing I would remember is the paramedic asking me if I knew my name. So, that's no good.

So, I am starting a blog. While I hope people will read it that is not at all why I am doing it. Why are you doing it you might say? Well, I'm so glad you asked and I will now tell you that random voice in my head. See, that would be the reason. When I left work 8 1/2 years ago I went from traveling about two weeks of every month and having every moment of my day filled with adult conversation and interesting tidbits of day to day life. If I wanted to go for a walk I went for a walk. If I wanted to go to dinner with a friend I went to dinner with a friend. I controlled my social calendar and all that was on it. If I needed to work late I didn't need to create a taskforce to take care of anything I just worked late.

Once the kids came along that all changed. I can remember standing in my driveway as a friend drove away after seeing my first baby for the first time and feeling completely alone. I wasn't alone, I had my precious newborn in my arms but something was missing and I felt guilty for having any sort of thought of loneliness because my precious child was a human and he was right there. Guilt. It has played a large roll in alot of my issues but we will touch on that later.

Adult conversation! That is what was missing! We were post 9/11 at this point and my husband was very protective of his new family. He didn't want me going out much and he didn't want me getting the mail because of the anthrax. I need to stop right here and tell you. I love my husband. He is wonderfully overprotective of his family. Sometimes it annoys me but it always shows me how much he loves us and doesn't want anything to hurt us. I will probably touch on him alot in this blog because he is alot of my world and I want to come right out and say I love my husband he is a wonderful support and provider for this family and any of my complaints or good natured ribbing are surface only.

I lived about a half an hour away from where I worked at that time and most of the people that I worked with had either already left the sinking ship that was where we worked or they were so busy trying to bail the water out that they didn't have time to come out and sit with a highly hormonal crazy person. I understood that and I was okay with it, but it started the alienation. I tried a Mother goose group and didn't connect with anyone there. I tried a MOPS group and didn't really connect there either. I had several neighbors that I loved and still do to this day, but it was still a crazy whirlwind of loneliness and guilt and let's just say it is nice to have the winds die down a little bit.

My kids are both in school this year. They were both in school last year too but for some reason that year is a blur. I'm not sure why it just was. So, I am starting this now. I am going to only allow myself a certain amount of computer time a morning so that I can get this house in tip top shape and stay involved at my kids school.

I am a person that has a strange sense of humor and I love to make people laugh. Sometimes my posts will be funny but not always. I have noticed alot of people hurting around me lately and so sometimes I will try to encourage randomly. I'm going to cheat. I'm going to post some of my favorite rants that I have already been writing.

I'm going to be very random on here. I'm not going to mention specifics about where I am or my kids names just because I am a little weird about that. I hope this is helpful to others but mainly it is to place my rantings in an appropriate place. I think I scare people sometimes. If an adult actually talks to me in the real world I typically monopolize the conversation because it feels so good to talk to another human. Hopefully this will curb that craving and I can be human again.

I would love to hear if I have helped or made you laugh or what not. I hope this is a blessing to others. We will see where it goes....and away we go!