Inside Out.

How is it that a children's movie can have such a profound effect on an adult?  Pixar's latest edition has done quite the number on me.  If you haven't seen it I do suggest it.  The images are beautiful and when you realize that it is all animated the talents that these people possess is awe inspiring.

The thing is they made me think, and I don't like to do that.

The basic story is that inside every one's head there are 5 basic emotions controlling a person's day to day thoughts.  Joy, sadness, fear, anger and disgust.  The main character moves with her family and in this process her Joy and sadness fall away from her control panel and have to find their way back.  The movie is the story of how they get back.  It has a sweet message, but.....

I am about to turn 43.  I am a hormonal mess.  I can turn a children's movie into a life message aimed directly at me in 2 seconds flat.

My entire life I have been such a joyful person.  I love to laugh.  I love to make people laugh.  I love people, but lately my joy has just not been there.  So this movie got me thinking that my poor little joy has fallen out of the controls and can't find her way back.  I could sit her and wallow in the depressive nature that is this world of sin or I can get over it...

What to do, what to do...

Today's prescription was a last minute invite to a birthday party where I got to spend some time with a sweet new friend and her family.  Followed by a telephone conversation with my long time smile maker Leah who has the most uncanny ability to make me laugh at nothing at all.  I'm not saying I am out of my funk.  I am however saying that you have to go outside of your head for help.  (Which is what the movie is saying....I think)

If you feel alone, I am sorry.  I know the feeling, even if we aren't really alone or even if we actually are it still is a horrible feeling and I am indeed sorry.  Call me we will chat it out...laugh it out...or if it is really bad I will give you Leah's number, she's awesome!!

Time flies!

There I was trolling around facebook waiting for the washer to stop so I could continue the dance of the laundry room fairy when it hit me.  A photographer that I had used to shoot the kids and their cousins for my mother in laws birthday present was posting pictures of a somewhat familiar face.  The bride was beautiful, but who was she?  I looked through the pictures and then it hit me.  The father of the bride was a friend of mine from high school's husband.

Long ago, some 26 year ago to be exact I was the assistant drum major for my high school band Crystal was the drum major.  She and I had grown up in church and church camp together.  Crystal was a highly intelligent very organized young woman.  Crystal was one year ahead of me in school and when she graduated she went to the college that I would be attending after I graduated.

I knew that she had left college and gotten married.  I have kept up with her through my mother over the years because she and my parents live in the same neighborhood.  I knew that she had 2 girls and one boy.  This is what I knew.

Fast forward to today when I am staring at a beautiful bride.

Wow!  A woman one year older than I am has a grown woman for a daughter?  How can this be?
It didn't completely come as a shock to me I am not completely in denial it was this past year when I realized that the new students at my college weren't even born when I graduated...NOT EVEN BORN!!!

My children are 13 and 11.  Contrary to popular belief it does not feel like just yesterday when they were babies.  Parenting is the hardest most selfless act I have ever done in my life.  My guess is the "feels like just yesterday" feelings come when they are no longer home and you are missing them.  I am still smack dab in the middle of MOM!!! She won't stop looking at me!!!  MOM!!  He hit me!!!  MOM!!! I'm starving to death!!  (right after lunch)  MOM!!!  Where are you?!

I love my children!  I just sometimes miss me.  I'm not ashamed to say it.  There are parts of me that look forward to the days when I can yet once again plan something for myself without having to come up with a power point presentation in order to accomplish the task.

I just don't want for it to go by too fast because all to soon that young woman staring back at me will be my own.

Single pot watcher.

I remember the days when I was single.  I so wanted to be married.  I would hang out with my married friends and play with their kids.  Weekends were excruciating.  I would do everything I could to keep myself occupied but I was so very lonely!!  I could only see what I didn't have and not what I did.  All of my friends had husbands and kids and that was what I wanted.  So, instead of enjoying the time that I had to be just me I wasted it.  Looking back I want to say, I was an idiot.

I didn't have to worry about someone else's meals, I didn't have to worry about cleaning anything if I didn't want to.  I didn't have to do anything!  If I wanted to change jobs and move to another town I totally could have!  Why didn't I?  I don't know.  I couldn't see the forest for the trees I guess.

I have a beautiful friend.  She has just come to the end of a relationship.  She is sad, thus I am sad for her, but at the same time I want to bathe her in the knowledge that this break up is just God's way of saving her from heartache later on.  This man was not good enough for her, the role he plays in her happily ever after will merely be considered Boyfriend scene 24 when the credits role.  He played a role but it was more to make her appreciate what her future holds.

Why do we always choose to underestimate the power that God has?  We can not even begin to grasp all that he has in store for us if we choose to come to know him.

Matthew 7: 9 - 11
Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?

God knows the perfect plan for us.  He has the perfect gift.  The only catch is you have to wait on God.  He can see the big picture.  Trust him.  Wait on him.  Take this time of not knowing to draw closer to him.

A friend told me before I got married your spouse will love you so much that they will think they don't deserve you and you will love them so much that you will think that you don't deserve them either.  You will spend the rest of your lives loving one another in order to deserve that love.

If you are focused on something that is making you sad, shift your focus.  What you think you want just might not be in store for you right now.  Find something completely different that makes you happy and focus on that for now you never know what will happen when you aren't watching the pot boil.

Simmer down now.

I was walking through the mall yesterday with my kiddos.  It was 100 degrees so even the pool didn't seem appealing.  We needed to get some lunch after several appointments, and this being 1 month into summer I am tired of little petty fights so deciding where we were going to eat lunch was not an option.  The food court was the perfect solution.

On our way there we were approached by several kiosk people.  I am one to get a  migraine whenever I am confronted with strong perfumes so I am always quick to say no.  I said no to one young man and he laughed at me.  I realized after we passed that he was handing out something for hair.  My guess is something to do with frizz.

Thus today's post.

I know I am getting older because I have caught myself saying the phrase "It isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity".  What am I 90?

I have purchased so many Anti frizz, anti humidity, straighteners, and smoothers that I could start my own store.  So, when I have worked hard preparing my hair for the day and I get a laugh from the kiosk man it is a bit unnerving.  Don't you judge me kiosk man.

The thing is he is right.  I take the time to put on make up and do my hair and the second I step out of my car I can feel it.  The makeup is "glistening" off and the hair is starting to inflate, thus by the time I actually get to where I am going I look like I didn't try at all.  Now I ask you what is the point?!  If I actually do nothing the outcome is even more disturbing than the I tried but it all fell apart so that isn't an option.

I am not a trust fund socialite so having someone walk around with me doing my hair and makeup all day is not an option either.  What is a girl to do?

Here is what I have come up with.  I am going to wear the only accessory that outshines the rest.  A smile.  I am going to attempt to bring joy to others and not be a hot wet wool blanket to anyone's day.  God has blessed me far more than I deserve it is my duty to pass along those blessings.  After all pony tails and big sunglasses work wonders.

Waterpark wonderings.

My kids and I visited a local waterpark yesterday.  In my older years I am getting less and less about the thrill of sliding down a twisting tube and more about sitting at the bottom and waiting for the excitement to be over.  I'm still very much okay to go and experience the goings on of a waterpark just not so much the near death experiences that some of the rides hold.

The lazy river is right up my alley.  I do believe that there should be a lazy river for those that are not quite so lazy as others though.  I could fall asleep in that bad boy if it weren't for the individuals who get bored after 2 minutes and decide to run through the lazy river....What is lazy about that?

I had some observations that I would like to share with you now but please remember these are merely observations.  I am not judging these individuals for their "choices" nor to I mean to make fun of them in any way.  I am just observing....objectively.

1. Just because the bikini comes in your size does not mean that you should wear it.

2. Spandex, while a fantastic invention, does have its limitations.

3. There is such a thing as too skinny.

4. No matter what a grandmother looks like in a bathing suit I will always be impressed that she is out there playing with her grandchildren.

5. It is important to get help on your back when using a self tanner.

6. The matching hat, heels, and bathing suit combo might not be appropriate for a waterpark.

7. It is surprisingly satisfying to see a woman in full makeup and matchy matchy outfit get pelted with a giant bucket of 100's of gallons of water.

8.  Manscaping is just as important as ladyscaping.

I am always thankful for the times I have with my children.  I am blessed with this time with them.  Thank you God for summer break.

Hormonal mess

I don't mind age so much.  I don't feel old therefore I am not old.  Only problem is that lately my hormones have been wreaking havoc on my personality.  My doctor says that if I will get 150 minutes of cardio weekly it is clinically proven to be just like taking an anti depressant.  Cool.  Slight problem.  I am so down I don't feel like getting the 150 minutes of cardio.

I have no reason to be down.  I am blessed beyond measure, and yet here I am near tears with a feeling of hopelessness like you wouldn't believe!  I hate it.  I can track it to the day on a calendar.  You would think I would figure it out and plan ahead.

I feel lonely, yet I am not alone.  I feel like no one likes me, yet I have many beautiful friends.  I feel like I can do nothing right, yet I have many talents and I am good at many things.

I've got to get off this computer and go out and find the joy.  I am mainly writing this because I know others feel this way, and I want you to know you are not alone.  You are beautiful.  You have many things to contribute to this crazy world.  You are perfect because you are you!