Selflessness

I need to tell you about what my daughter last night.  It moved me so much!  More than anything has in awhile.  Mainly because it was all of her doing!

As I teach my children, I hope that I am raising them right.  To be kind loving individuals that are a blessing to those around them and not a drain.  I want them to be selfless rather than selfish, but it is hard to teach a child that because the world is so all about how much you can get for you!

Last night was my son's 10th birthday party for family.  It is a tradition that we go to this pizza place with a game room and eat pizza and play games.  It's nice and clean, the pizza is good and every birthday is just a really nice time.

My daughter had been talking about wanting to get her brother something for his birthday and with his real party not until Sunday I had promised to take her on Saturday.  She had already gotten a five dollar bill out of her piggy bank and wrapped it up for him but that just wasn't enough for her.

Typically when we go to this arcade my daughter doesn't win many tickets and she only gets some candy or something small, but this time she was on a roll!  She had won 1,000 tickets from one game and just kept racking them up.  She kept asking if she had to share.  I had told her no because this was rare for her and I wanted her to enjoy it.  All told she ended up with 1,500.  She wanted to go cash them in alone.

She walked over and the man told her she had 1,500 tickets.  She asked him how much this basketball was.  Now maybe I should stop here.  Basketball is my son's thing.  Not so much my daughters.  So, when she told the man that was what she wanted it threw me.  I said but honey you won't have any left to get what you want.  She said I know.  She took the basketball from the man and handed it to her brother.  Oh my sweet precious angel.

The world could take a lesson from my little girl.  Everyone is so worried about getting their fair share and  making sure that no one is getting more than they are that we forget about being selfless.  It is rewarding to put others before yourself.

My mother always says that the easiest way to cheer yourself up is to do something nice for someone else.  She's right you know!  Try it.  Stop for just one moment putting yourself at the center of attention and look around you for someone who might be hurting worse.  Someone who could use a hand or a pat on the back.  It will make you feel better to be kind and that kindness will only spread, and that kindness will bless you more than any material thing you will ever own.

Have a fantabulous day my friends!  Be a blessing!

Slow down.

A friend made a comment to me today that threw me a curve ball.  It made me start thinking and I hate it when I do that.  It means that not until I come talk to you guys am I going to feel better about it.  So, I'm here and hopefully this will come across in a calm cool collected manner and not sound like some raving lunatic.  Here goes....

I was speaking to a friend about a huge event that is coming up.  Last year there was one woman that played a major role.  I asked if she was doing it again this year and the answer was no.  I asked why.  She said it was because of differing opinions on how things should go.  The example was that the woman thought that the project would be more of a bonding get to know each other time for the workers and it was other's opinion that it should be just a "get it done" type thing.

Ok.

Now.

Let's say this project is a banquet.  There are lots of different aspects to said banquet.  You have to invite people.  You have to find someone to decorate.  You have to find someone to do food.  It will not be easy and it is going to get stressful.  It is how projects like this typically are.

I guess my problem with the thought of it being a hurry up and get it done type thing is that you have then missed out on the purpose of the task and why on earth did you even do it in the first place?  You can say that it is for the end result and I understand that, but the end result while it in and of itself will have wonderful effects on people, isn't necessarily the only opportunity for connection.

Communication is key in all aspects of your world.  If a company does not have a good open line of communication with its employees then productivity will not be at a maximum.  All of the different facets of the company will operate as singular beings all getting upset with the other groups for not adequately meeting their expectations.

Jean Webster says

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; 

it's making a great deal out of the little ones. 

So, with that in mind.  The banquet would not be the activity at all.  The preparation would be the activity.  The strengthening of relationships within the company.   The ability to get to know one another and work toward a common goal.  Then, in fact, the banquet would be the prize.  The culmination of different persons coming together to work together toward a common goal.

It is my humble opinion that if it becomes a hurry up and get it done task, feelings will get hurt, walls will be built and opportunities will be missed.

I don't know how to fix your situation.  Every situation has so many different levels to it that you will have to decide that for yourself.  The purpose of my post is to state that we all need to slow down.  Enjoy the day to day and don't get so hot and bothered that others around you aren't living up to your expectations.

Get to know the people around you and genuinely listen to their needs and concerns.  You just might get a refreshingly different perspective.  If you feel like you are the person who always does everything don't for once.  See what happens.  Do others pick up the ball and run with it or does it just lie there?  Sometimes a ball needs to be dropped before a problem can be acknowledged.

Remember.  We are all on this planet together.  We are all hurting.  We are all good at different tasks and learn in different ways.  That doesn't make us bad or hard to deal with that just makes us different and that's a good thing.

I will end with a food reference, just because I can.  Take a chocolate chip cookie for instance.  Everyone wants to be the chocolate chip.  The star!  It's very name defines the cookie, but everyone can't be the chocolate chip.  Somebody has to be the vanilla.  Somebody has to be the baking soda, the flour, the sugar.  It is all these ingredients that come together to make the deliciousness that is the final product.  If the chocolate chip starts trying to do all of the other parts jobs you will end up with a big chocolately mess and it will no longer be a chocolate chip cookie it will be goo.

Slow down, let those around you shine, allowing yourself to savor the experience and others to enjoy it too!

Love you all!

Slow down and put down that finger!!!

We were driving home this evening and all of a sudden from behind us comes this car...now let me just tell you that I am a pretty fast driver so I was generously going the speed limit already. This car passed us as if we were standing still!

My daughter said Mommy, was that a race car? I wanted to say No dear that was a stupid person and stupid people apparently drive really fast! I didn't because in our house stupid is a bad word, but oh how I wanted to. Actually I wanted to use an even worse word it rhymes with some glass...you know the one, but I didn't want to have to wash my mouth out with soap. So, I refrained.

Why is it that people are so reckless with their driving? I mean come on... with the texting drivers and the angry drivers, and the older drivers and the distracted drivers and the stupid drivers it is a wonder anyone ever gets anywhere alive!! Throw in this guy that had to at least be doing 80 in a 40 and one little lol could send everyone to the hospital or worse. Just because fun bass wanted to see how fast his little kit car would go.

Part of what is wrong with this world today is that we are so concerned about our own happiness and success that we could care less about others and lifting their needs above our own. So what if the lady in front of you is driving a little slow it isn't her fault that you are running late next time get up with plenty of time to get there or just deal with the fact that you are late. Flipping her off only ruins her day and then she will be hateful to someone else and the circle just might even come back and slap you in the face later on in the day. Don't even start that crap!

Be kind. Be considerate. Be loving. It will do you a far better bit of good than being a some gas ever will. I promise. Have a great day!!

There's nothing new under the sun!

So, as I told you my old college had a fun day yesterday. So, when they posted the pictures from it of course I had to look. One thing struck me...hard!

As I would look through the pictures I would find people that I knew. Not personally mind you but I could tell from their dress and their actions that they were like someone that was at the school when I was there.

It is as if it is all a big play and each year someone new fills the part. You have the mousy quiet girl who watches from the sidelines, you have the overly testosteroned guy who plays sports and yells a lot, you have the studious people that are so pasty you know that they are going to be sunburned the next day.

We all play a vital role in the world that the Good Lord has placed us in. We get to choose how we are going to play it. Are you going to be outgoing? Are you going to be shy? Are you going to wear a speedo and appear to have a crack problem?

What role are you playing in your life today? Get in there and enjoy your life. Whatever you want to be is neither right nor wrong. You don't have to be loud and outgoing to be right and you don't have to be quiet and shy to be right. You just have to be you! How do you want to play your role? It's the role of a lifetime and you get to construct it!

The thing is though you have to live in the present. Don't be so concerned about how you were before, that play has already been cast with new players. Who are you today and what do you want to portray to the world? All I ask is that you do so with a kind heart and loving spirit. There is enough bad stuff in the world that those parts are filled and need to be deleted from the script permanently!

Have a wonderful day my friends!!

Marvelous Monday!!

Today is Marvelous Monday at my old college. It is a time honored tradition of a day off with fabulously fun activities planned that you have no clue when it is going to be each year. It might be a Wonderful Wednesday or a Terrific Tuesday you just don't know until you get that little slip of paper under your door that states that classes have been cancelled and you are to go back to bed!!!

I love that day! This is a picture of myself and two friends from one of our Wonderful Wednesdays. It is just so clear to me why I didn't date....would it have killed someone to tell me to calm my hair down?

It's been 18 years since I was in college. If I had a baby right when I graduated from college that baby would be starting college this fall!!! Crazy!!

Marvelous Monday reminded me of something today and I wanted to share it with you.

I have always prayed that I would live a life with no regrets. It's a hard request because you as a human will always second guess yourself. If only I had gone with this career choice or what if I had never even gone to that school!! Choices that you are making today are shaping the life that you will have in the future.

I can remember being in college, and every year there would be an alumni weekend. It was one weekend out of the year where alumni could come back and see old friends and show their school off to their kids! I can actually remember saying "Why on earth are these people wasting their time coming back here? When I graduate I will go so far from this place I will never return." I was stupid really. Lesson learned here is never say never.

This morning when Marvelous Monday was announced several of us alumni were remembering our past Wonderful Wednesdays. A current student posted how sweet she thought it was. I'm not sure if she was being sarcastic or not but it reminded me of my old cynical self and if I could go back and change anything one thing would be to live those 4 years at my college to the fullest! Study harder, love the degree I have selected, be more involved!!

Don't get me wrong I still have very fond memories of my Alma Mater! I always will! I just wish I had lived more in the moment I was in!

I can remember doing that when my kids were small. I was too busy trying to keep my head above water I didn't enjoy the pre-school years. I'm doing it now...I'm so tired of laundry and a messy house I just want to move on to the next stage! I will miss this stage. As much as this stage is driving me crazy I am sure that there will be a day when I would give anything to go back and live just one of these crazy days. Preferably one of the calmer ones.

Life is so short! Enjoy the life that has been given to you and love those that are around you! Stop waiting for the perfect situation to do what you want to do, do it now!!

Have a Marvelous Monday!!!

Allow your children to be a blessing.

I found out that I was pregnant with my eldest right before 9/11 happened. In fact, I hadn't announced that I was pregnant yet to my co-workers. I can remember feeling this overwhelming amount of worry of what kind of world I was bringing my precious child into. I am an adult. I am not as impressionable. I know what is right but for a child to grow up in a world with so much hatred in it how on earth could that be a good thing?

I can remember when I finally did confide in a friend that I was pregnant and how it didn't feel right being so excited. I will always remember what she said to me. Through teary eyes she said Oh, Please don't feel that way, that baby you are carrying is a sign of hope, of new life, of change! How right she was! My baby would be brought up in love and taught to love others and be kind to others no matter what their situation.

We need to remember that if our answer to evil is to run from it it will only grow stronger. We must combat it with love! So many times I hear that people are keeping their children from the world because of the horrible things that are in the world. It is true. I agree, but are you going to keep your child in a bubble for the rest of their life? How will they know how to handle bad things when confronted with them if they are not taught life lessons along the way?

Take a plant for instance. If you bring it up from seed indoors and you only allow it a controlled temperature and a certain amount of sun and water it will grow it might even thrive but if you take that plant outdoors and you leave it to fend for itself it will surely die.

You must temper a plant. You must allow it to be exposed to the differing temperatures and water levels with a watchful eye allowing it to be protected from the extremes. Isn't that just like parenting?

My mother was born in the middle of the depression. She is a light of joy and a bright spot in this world. They may have not always had financial wealth, but they always had love. As you raise your precious children in this world remember that while this is not our forever home it is our home for now and we must bring light and love to all of those around us. Teach your children to do the same.

Don't even get me started about stranger danger...that is a different post all together.

That buzzing sound means that you are WRONG!!!

I am annoyed today.

In order to adequately assess a situation a person must first gather as much information about the circumstances that are surrounding that event. If you take one person's view over another's you do not have an accurate portrayal of what is going on. If the situation is concerning only one person and you have not spoken directly to that person about the situation and you are instead making up your own story about said situation you are WRONG!!

Long ago when I first started working in the real world there as a secretary that worked for our department. I loved her and love her still. She was like the department mother and did her job very well. I had never thought about her background prior to the day she announced her departure.

She had gotten a position of Senior Editor for a prestigious company here in town that everyone wanted to work for. I was completely confused. How could a receptionist make that much of a jump? So, I asked her. She told me that it was actually much lower than what she was used to but that she was ready to start getting back into the swing of things. You see she had gotten divorced and had small children. She was trying to grab hold of her personal life and had selected a less challenging job to pay the bills while she did so. I respected her so much for that. She put her ego aside so that she could focus on what was really important in her world.

I had always known I wanted to stay home with my children. I see the positives of both choices but for me staying home far outweighed the having a job outside of the home. It's funny how quickly you lose your credibility in the world though. I'm sure people don't mean to do it, but it is almost condescending the comments people make. It's annoying really. Everyone gets to make their own choice. Some have to work for financial reasons, some for sanity reasons it is all okay as long as you are loving those babies you brought into this world and bringing them up to be respectable, kind, loving human beings then by all means you do what you got to do!

I guess the point I am trying to make is that your education or you financial status or your social position is not as important as the kind of person you are. When it all comes down to it what kind of person are you? Are you kind? Supportive? Loving? Or are you just some Jerk that everyone is nice to because you have a lot of power?

Stop making assumptions about people. If you are going to judge them you must first gather as much information about them as you possibly can. Otherwise just keep your uneducated opinion to yourself as you are only spreading misinformation and we have the media for that!

This is probably not written very well. That happens when I get annoyed. Love each other people it is a hard world and all people truly need is kindness and goodness around them. Have a great day!

Cell phone etiquette.

I witnessed something today that I would love to forget, or I would have loved to gone over and taken the woman's cell phone out of her hand and placed it into a nearby fish tank.

I noticed that the waitress was preparing for a large party. A family of 5 with 3 small children showed up first followed by an older couple and then there was the younger couple. I want to say the woman was thirtyish. You were drawn to her not because it was like that game on Sesame Street of one of these things is not like the others. Even though it totally fit because all of the other diners were these tiny soft spoken polite well dressed individuals. Even the children were well behaved and then there was this woman. Wild red hair wearing a tshirt that said something and talking very loudly into her cellphone. You heard her as she entered the restaurant and she didn't get off. Not when she came in, not when she sat down and not when the orders were being taken. She loudly laughed and talked with the person on the other end of the line while the others sat quietly and waited for her to get off her phone for an uncomfortable amount of time. She was laying her upper body on the table dramatically laughing and saying that she couldn't believe what the other person was saying and then more hysterical laughing. When she finally did get off the phone all she did was lay it on the table. No explanation, no apology, no nothing.

Really? Seriously? People. Come on. You have to know that there are certain things that you do and do not on a cell phone. You are being rude. Get over yourself we all have cell phones. Hang up and become involved in the world that is right in front of you.