Happy Thanksgiving.

For the first 20 or so years of my life my Thanksgivings were extremely predictable.  Typically they were held at either my parents house, which was rare, or in a small town called Fall Branch where my father's parents lived.  My grandparents lived on a farm.  You would drive up a long gravel drive past an old spring house that was now a shed.  My grandfather would typically be sitting out on the carport and would give a wave when he saw us.  I can still picture this, they had a huge land yacht of a car which was a royal blue LTD and he would be sitting up close to the house probably trying to avoid all the hustle and bustle inside the house all while remaining within earshot in case my grandmother needed him.
There were two ways into the house you could either enter to your right and go straight into the dining room or go straight ahead into the heart of their home which was the kitchen.  We always had 12 people, and there would be at least that many desserts lined up on the freezer chest sitting right next to the kids table.  Cruel I tell you.  Food would be everywhere.  My grandmother would bake her own bread, roast a turkey, do a ham, all of the vegetables from her garden she was a spit fire.  She was no more than 5 feet tall shorter probably but her hair gave her an edge.
I can still tell you where everyone would be.  My Aunts would be helping my grandmother, my Uncle Tom would be reading the paper in the living room along with my Uncle Melvin and my cousin would be waiting on us to arrive so we could play.  We would eat, clean up and enjoy each other's company.  It was the only place we had to be that day and there was no rush to do anything else.  I had never heard of Black Friday and it was always the most relaxing of holidays.
This all changed once I got married.  By the time I got married my Grandparents had long since been moved into a nursing home and my Grandfather had passed.  The Thanksgiving festivities on my side had changed to being at my parents house so that my husband and I could participate because this is how it went for a few years....11 am eat a full Thanksgiving meal with my parents, 3 pm drive across town to eat a full Thanksgiving meal with my husband's grandmother and father, 6 pm go to my husband's mother's house for another full meal and movie.  Gone was the rest and relaxation, gone was the easiness of Thanksgiving.
It's funny how life changes and how you can vividly remember some details of your life.  The smell of my grandmother's kitchen, the mental picture of my Grandfather awaiting our arrival.  Of the original 12 in my life there are only 9 that remain.  Now granted we have added about 12 more, but with people living all over we can't all get together.  I hope that my children have positive lovely memories of their early Thanksgivings. Children don't sense the stress and frustration of meal planning and clashing personalities.  I pray that my children will someday be able to look back on their childhood and only remember the magical.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Kristine.

I want to tell you about a friend of mine.  We met long ago when we both worked for a local department store.  We were fast friends from the day we met.  We just clicked.  I would help her with things she had to do, she would return the favor.  We would go to lunch together, we would exercise together and most importantly she could make me laugh and we laughed a lot.

When she had her first baby she decided to stay home with him and at that point I didn't see her as much.  We would still do things together but of course things changed because we were no longer guaranteed to be in the same building for the same amount of time, but that is the thing about really special friends, you find a way to make it work.  Whether you see or talk to them daily doesn't matter, when you finally do get to chat you pick right up where you left off.  There are no hurt feelings there are no issues both parties just know that's life.

So, this morning when I called Kristine to check in I didn't realize that she was substitute teaching.  She must have thought that she turned off her phone but she didn't and I must have been in her pocket because I could hear most of what she was saying.  She put a smile on my face that lasted the rest of my morning.  You see there is something about Kristine that is just wonderful.  She can go into any situation and perform whatever task that is in front of her with ease.  She doesn't stress about the details or whether or not she is doing it the way it was done before she just sees what needs to be done and does it.

I could hear her very calmly explaining her rules to the children and very sweetly saying You in the back..what is your name?  Well, Adrianna you see what you are doing right now?...the running around and stuff?...well, now that will get you put in time out.  Do you understand?  Apparently Adrianna sat down because I could hear Kristine continue on about how they were all going to grab a book and meet on the big blue rug.  I was thinking how I probably wouldn't have handled it as well as Kristine and poor little Adrianna would have ended up in tears.

Kristine just makes me happy.  I love the fact that whether or not she really does have it all under control she always appears to.  I love the fact that if I ask her if an outfit I'm wearing looks good she won't lie to me, but she won't make me feel bad either she will put a spin on it that will have me laughing and I will go change.  I love that no matter what problem I come to her with she never makes me feel like some sort of freak!  She will relate my problem to something else and we will have it solved before it's time to hang up the phone.

A friend like Kristine is a gift from God and does not come along very often.  I am blessed that she is in my life and No, you can't have her!  If you don't have a friend in your life that is like Kristine, why not try being that kind of friend to someone else.  Be a blessing to your friends not a burden.  Have a great day!

By the way, Kristine, honey, you really want to make sure your phone has hung up, that could have been dangerous!  :)

Constructive Criticism.

For any of the others of you out there married to gentlemen who enjoy giving constructive criticism I am going to attempt to put humor in that which is annoying me right now.  

Ok. So we have discussed my inability to control my weight, my inability to be stylish, my inability to cook consistently...these are all knowns.  I want to say right here before I begin this tyraid, I love my husband very much.  He just drives me crazy sometimes.  He knows he does it, as well as I know that I drive him crazy sometimes.  Marriage isn't easy people but when you find someone you love hold on to them for dear life and get ready for one crazy ride.

1. I was wearing a jogging suit last night.  The thing is probably 10 years old, I'm sure it is not one of my best outfits in my closet, I was wearing it to walk with the kids around to trick or treat.  Therefore dark, therefore why do I care?!  (I will insert my husband's response, You should always care!)  Ok, but sometimes I don't I want to be warm and comfortable.  

My husband's comment was that I needed to change, in fact I needed to throw away my beloved jog suit because it looked horrible on me.  He is all about the shock and awe.  Can we discuss what he could have said or done that would have been better?  

A. He could have encouraged me to put on a costume.

B. He could have gone gotten a glass of water, come over to me to give me a hug, pretended to trip, therein spilling the entire thing all over me forcing me to change.  

C. He could have realized that on the larger scheme of things it doesn't really matter, it was going to be dark and life would go on without hurting my feelings and making me feel bad.  

2. Halitosis.  You know bad breath, funk mouth, what crawled under your tongue and died or worse yet pooed?  How do you handle it when you are in deep conversation with someone and they have dragon breath?  Next time try one of these....

A.  Always carry some sort of gum or mint with you to offer.  Keeping in mind that not all humans can have artificial sweetener so if it is me that is offensive I'm all about pure sugar baby!!!  

B. Back up, or sit down, or start doing lunges for pities sake just get out of that direct path.

C. Realize that you have smelled worse and do you really want to make this person feel bad?  What if you lived before the invention of all things clinical?  What would you have done then Senor Fresh Breath? 

Ok. This isn't going as I expected the overall theme is choose your words.  Realize that what you consider to be constructive criticism is not always required in every situation and your critiques are coming from the way that you see a perfect world.  Not everyone thinks the way you do, and I am so very sorry to tell you but there is more than one way to do anything and your way is not necessarily the right way and by no means the only way.  

We are all walking around in a broken world.  We are broken flawed people and the world throws enough crap at us that we don't need our loved ones criticizing us too, constructive or otherwise.  

To sum up: If you don't like the jog suit....hide it.  If you don't like their breath...buy them a million different kinds of gum and mints.  Just realize that if you are going to critique you must give two compliments to offset the critique.  It's the law.  I promise I saw it on the internet or something.