The day my lip fell off.

I again might have written about this before but I can't find it and since part of the reason I want to write this blog is so that I will remember these stories when I get old I will just write it again and maybe I will tell it a little different or come up with another moral to the story therefore I give you...The day my lip fell off, by Erika

I was twelve years old.  I know this because I had just gotten a brand new 10 speed bike for my birthday.  It was in the summer between my 6th and 7th grade years in school and I had decided to leave my parents neighborhood to go for a bike ride.  I felt so free, so mature, in retrospect SO STUPID!!! My parents still live in the house I grew up in, there is no where good to ride a bike anywhere around there but in my parents neighborhood.

I had gone down a short road to the first turn and turned left.  There was gravel in the turn and my wheels slid on it.  I lost control, went off the road , face planted into a tree, and landed in a creek that was pretty deep.  I looked around the muddy walls and noticed the very large amount of what I assumed to be snake holes.  I kept sliding down and finally had to claw my way out leaving my bike behind.

I walked up to a house that I had been going to all summer.  The woman of the house was having chemo treatments and my mother was taking her, therefore I was taking her.  I tell you this because she should know me, but when I rang the doorbell that day she did not know me only I didn't know why.  I knew I had hurt myself.  I thought there was something wrong with my teeth, and I'm sure I noticed blood but I thought for sure she would be able to know it was me.  She yelled for her husband to come see this little girl, and then I tried to talk.

My nabe ith ehwikuh and I said that over and over.  She just kept asking her husband what on earth they were going to do and patting my bloody face with dry paper towels.  As she was doing that she said look how beautiful her black hair is!  The only person I every knew with hair as black as that was Jim Pierson and I pointed to her.  She then screamed IT'S ERIKA!!!!

My parents were there pretty quickly thereafter.  My mother couldn't look at me.  She drove the car and my father sat in the back seat holding my head.  I remember my mother telling my father that we were out of gas and he just yelled at her to drive faster.  We got to Children's hospital and they immediately took me back.  Probably because they didn't want me scaring the other patients but again I didn't know that at this point.

Hours in to this ordeal I asked to go to the bathroom and finally got to look in a mirror. It was bad.  There are no pictures of it because my mother didn't want me to remember the trauma.  It's one of the reasons that I take so many pictures for my kids today.  I would love to go back and see what it looked like, how bad it was.

The surgeon lost track of how many stitches were in my face at 100.  They had to completely reattach my upper lip.  There was a gash next to my eye that had it been any closer I would have been blind, a large cut at my jaw line that they thought they were going to have to sew my jaw shut for but it miraculously was not as bad as they had first expected.  A cut at my neck that was uncomfortably close to my jugular.  It goes without saying that I am lucky to be alive.

The old man whose house I had walked to after the wreck had gone down and gotten my bike and he told my dad it was a total loss.  My father went to go pick it up, but was confused because it didn't look that bad.  The older gentleman had never seen bike handlebars that looked like rams horns before.  I spent the summer having dental work done, and going to doctors appointments.  It is most definitely a strong memory that only left behind a few barely noticeable scars.

It's funny how even the hardest most uncomfortable scars from life lessons eventually fade and are covered up by the millions of memories that come with living our life.  Do not allow the negative things that happen to you in your life define you.  Focus on the positive, the beautiful.

Go out...Be kind.

Starburst.

A friend of mine recently was was in a conversation and I was eavesdropping on Facebook.  Her friend had posted a picture of a mug that said Don't be a yellow starburst.  Now.  Apparently my friend's favorite starburst is the yellow so she went into a discussion about how she prefers the yellow and the mug was not accurate so of course it got me to thinking.

I had to pick up my daughter about 30 min away from my house and I had funk breath.  The only thing that was in the car that was viable for breath support was a pack of Starburst minis leftover from Halloween.  No, I hadn't cleaned out my car in awhile and yes...I'm glad I hadn't no one wants to meet and greet with funk breath.....I'm off topic.

I started with the red ones because they are my personal favorite.  I then ate the pink ones as is customary because the red and pink are in my opinion the best ones.  I decided this time however to try the yellow and the orange.  I started with yellow.  Not bad.  I then tried orange.  Nope.  Not ever gonna like the orange, and therein is my topic for today's post.

It doesn't matter a hill of beans that I don't like the orange or that the yellow isn't my favorite it doesn't mean I am better because I like the red ones it just means I like something different and if you ask me it works out better this way because we can each have the flavor we like without stepping on any toes.  I decided that she and her friend along with me and some freak (and by freak I of course mean totally normal individual who has the right to like whatever they want!) that likes orange would make the perfect team!

Do not assume because someone likes things that you don't that this factor makes them wrong.  It just makes them different.  It's ok to be different.  Turkey for dinner is nice. Turkey by itself every night for dinner gets old.  Celebrate the differences that others have.  Enjoy the variety.  Go out....Be kind.

Grandpa

My mother's father was a preacher, a woodworker, a gardener, an animal lover, a genuinely all around good guy.  He lived in Michigan so I didn't get to see him that often.  My grandpa had a saying that my mother would repeat quite often and its a good one so I wanted to pass it along.

There's so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us that it hardly behooves any of us to speak ill of the rest of us.

I was driving in traffic the other day and a car pulled out in front of another car.  There truly wasn't enough time for them to pull out but it wasn't wreck worthy.  There was plenty of stopping time, but the car that was already in the road laid on his horn, gave the middle finger salute and floored it to get around the person and berate them some more.

My first thought was, yes that person shouldn't have pulled out then, but then I remembered something.  I had tried to pull out in that very same spot recently and it is completely blind.  You can't see what's coming around the corner, so probably the person was just hoping for the best and took a chance.

The thing is the driver that blew his horn, flipped off and yelled at the offender has now created a bigger problem.  They have elevated their blood pressure and will now drive more aggressively.  They have upset the offender who was probably already nervous about pulling out, and people are now thinking negatively rather than positively.  Whereas had the person just slowed down a little and then passed when safe it would have been a non issue.

I absolutely love it when someone freaks out and speeds past you only to meet up with you at the next stop light.  We all want to get where we are going.  We all have stuff going on.  If everyone would just calm down and drive not only defensively but also intentionally and not selfishly we would all get there faster because there wouldn't be as many wrecks to deal with.  Oh and GET OFF YOUR STUPID PHONE!!!

My grandpa's saying works in so many different ways.  Pretty much any situation of drama that you are met with, it applies.  Just remember mercy and grace.  You like it when it is given to you, therefore why are you not so generous with it toward other people.

Go out....Be kind.

The day my mom set the cat on fire.

I have probably already written a blog entry about this but I can't find it so I am just going to write another one. Just in case some animal rights activist is wanting to attack my mother A. She had the best intentions.  B. I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations is up because this was a really really long time ago.

Growing up my family had a cat named Krinkles, more so Krinkles had us.  He was a very regal orange and white cat that looked exactly like a cat named Morris that had a commercial that he was popular for.

Krinkles came home one day with 3 ticks on his neck.  My mother had read in a magazine that if you would put rubbing alcohol on the ticks they would pop off.  It didn't work and after several attempts she gave up and went back to the article to see what else she should try.  She read that if you light a match and put it to the tick they would let go and back out so as not to leave their head stuck inside the cat.  So my mother ran off to try this technique not reading that you need to blow out the match first.

So, when the lit match and the alcohol that was still on the cats fur touched of course the cat burst into flames...in the garage...on fire....in a garage...where there are other flammable type items. So mom opened the door to the garage and off the cat flew up through the neighbors yards burning all the way....

Now.  If I stopped there this would be a horrible story.  It's not really I promise please continue.

My father was at work that day in a board meeting.  He had told his secretary Trish to not put any calls through to interrupt the meeting but when she heard the panic in my mother's voice she sent her through anyway.  So my father listened to her dilemma and then in front of the board yelled "You set the cat on fire?  WELL PUT HIM OUT!!!"

Meanwhile my sisters and I had come home from school and I guess Krinkles felt that since we were home he had witnesses and could return as well.  The alcohol is the only thing that really burned.  His fur was a little crispy but for the most part he was untouched.  More importantly the three ticks were still in tact.

My mother has had this story told at her expense on many occasions.  I have even had people come up and tell me that they have heard the story before and that its not true.  Oh but it is.  I lived it.  Krinkles never quite looked at my mother the same ever again.

So that's the story of my mother and how she once set a cat on fire.

Did you send a thank you note for your skin?

I'm human. 


I am not perfect.


So, sometimes I get my feelings hurt over stupid stuff. 


Recently I helped 2 other women throw a little party for a 4th friend.  I did not go in to this wanting to be recognized.  I did it because I wanted the woman to feel loved and celebrated.  I would much rather do things anonymously than wave my hands wide and receive the credit.  I have been on the side of having a special day forgotten.  It isn't fun.  I don't ever want someone I love to feel that way.  So, I helped throw a little something together and that was it for me....until.....


A 5th person took credit for it, and then it all changed.   I showed it to my daughter as a life lesson for her to know that sometimes these things happen and while they are not right they happen and its no big deal...I told my daughter that but I was still annoyed until a little verse popped up in my head.


James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.


and then I was humbled. 


How many times does God give me a beautiful gift that I take credit for?  How many times does he bless me over and over again and do I remember to recognize that he was the creator of all that is good?  Do I thank him for every single gift he gives me in a day?  No!  I do not!  How very justified he is to just stop blessing me because I do not adequately express my appreciation.  I am very thankful that he is not like me.  I can only hope to try to be like him. 


Does it still annoy me that the 5th person did what they did?  Yes, but again, I'm human. 


Am I going to look at situations such as this differently now?  Absolutely.  You can not even begin to thank the Lord for every little thing he gives you in a day.  Oxygen for instance.  Skin.  Did you thank God for your skin today?  Things that we don't even think about because they are just assumed. 


God is good all the time.  Go out...Be kind. 

I love the Tennesee Vols.

I have lived in Tennessee my entire life.  My family while not overly zealous about athletics growing up were still supportive of the Tennessee Vols.  My husband sold programs at the football games as a little boy, my son is a mega fan and is extremely overly informed about the coaching situation that has come before us here at the end of 2017.  I specify that because it seems like all to often the Vols are having coaching situations and I just wanted to clarify. 


I do not genuinely care about who the coach is.  My concerns are more so in the character of the team and the coaching staff.  Are these humans aware of the fact that young children are watching their life choices and basing their own choices likewise?  Are they representing the state of Tennessee as it should be with character and integrity? 


Our athletic director was hired and paid a large sum of money to manage the athletics of the University of Tennessee.  Why is it that we are not willing to allow him to do his job?  Is the information that you are basing your witch hunt of each candidate on fact or rumor?  Do you personally know the men that you are throwing around "facts" about or are you just a part of the firestorm that is misinformation. 


I have no dog in this fight.  My husband and son will still go to the games and cheer on their beloved Vols no matter who is wearing the name tag that reads coach.  I will still watch the games from a mother's perspective of wanting those young men to not get hurt, to do their best, and to know that we love them not just because they wear our orange on Saturday, but because it's the right thing to do. 


Go out...Be kind.  Go Vols. 

The story of the tortoise and the squirrel.

I am a self proclaimed schizophrenic squirrel married to an anal retentive tortoise. 


I shall explain.


I don't often write about my husband.  I would never want to embarrass him, but since he is a major part of my life I have to at the very least write about him every once in awhile. 


My husband and I were high school sweethearts.  We would break up and get back together all throughout college and dated for 8 years before we finally married 19 years ago.  We are polar opposites and yet we work.  I would tell you how if I knew but quite honestly I'm just gonna go with we are two imperfect people who refuse to stop trying no matter how annoying the other person is to us at times.  I'm annoying.  He's annoying.  You're annoying.  You're spouse is annoying.  If you didn't realize this fact and this is all you gain from my little rant then Merry Christmas.  Marriage 101..we are all annoying at some point and time. 


I digress. 


My husband is a highly intelligent detail oriented individual who will not even begin a project without knowing that he can complete the task to perfection.  I am a fun loving people person who starts lots of projects at once who may or may not eventually get around to finishing them all.  God put us together to balance each other out. 


I could look at the way that my husband and I are different and be upset that he doesn't like to do things the way I do, or I could appreciate the fact that because of the way my husband does things we are more likely to reach the goal that we have set before us.  My husband could look at the way I do things and get frustrated that there is no order or reason to the way that I do things or he could appreciate the joy and laughter that I bring to our world. 


Every situation can be looked at from many different perspectives.  Stop looking at situations that annoy you from your own perspective.  Look at them from the other persons perspective and try to figure out why they may have done it the way they did.  You may never figure it out but you don't have to get mad just because it wasn't done the way you would have wanted it done.  Just be glad it's done, and move on because there are 50 million other situations coming at you daily.  You want to spend your life in frustration and disappointment or do you want to get over your self and find joy? 


Go with Joy!  It's way better.  Go out...Be kind.

Happy frozen Thanksgiving!

There I was, being all productive.  I had prepared my Kroger Clicklist the night before, and I was going to pick it up between dropping my children off for their different schools.  (If you haven't used Kroger Clicklist...game...changer! you totally need to try it at least once.) I digress.  I had picked up my order and I thought I had time to get some Chickfila for my son and husband as a surprise for breakfast.  Apparently everyone else in  town had the same thought because therein my time crunch problem was born.  I got home.  I had to change my clothes, unload the groceries, and take my son to school all in about 10 min, and we live 7 min away from school. 


Everything was going smoothly until....I dropped the frozen turkey square on my foot.  Now, I have on boots so I don't think I am mortally wounded but I am most definitely in pain.  My son seeing the look on my face said What is wrong with you?  I explained and with his typical dead pan humor he made my day.  He said....


Well, you know what they say...It's not Thanksgiving until someone drops a frozen turkey on their foot. 


No one says that. 


Happy Thanksgiving. 

Can someone cure cancer already?!

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.  Tell the ones you love that you love them every time you see them.  Life is short.



How many phrases can I think of to describe what is going on in my world right now?  My precious beautiful friend from my youth has died.  Cancer has taken a bright light and extinguished it. Cancer sucks.



I met Stephanie in middle school.  Stephanie was my friend.  I called her Stepherdee.    She was kind. She was good.  She was all the positive adjectives.  She took great pride in lifting others up even above herself.  There are not many left in this world like Stephanie, and cancer just took her away.


I knew that Stephanie was sick.  I had gone to one of her doctors appointments to see her face to face because as life happens she and I had lost touch.  We would text or talk on the phone intermittently but as far as seeing her on a daily basis that had ended in high school almost 27 years ago.  Where on earth did 27 years go? 


My daughter has a friend that is Stephanie like in nature.  Mackenzie is always kind, always happy, always loving and there when you need her.  I told my 13 year old daughter that my friend Stephanie had died and my daughter didn't understand how I could be so upset when she didn't even know her.  I said Stephanie is my Mackenzie, only we didn't keep in touch after we got out of high school. 


Friendships are integral in your development!  Learning give and take, learning to put someone else above yourself, learning that you are not the center of the universe.  I feel like this world has many things wrong with it and one of which is that we have lost the ability to learn how to be a friend.  We are so quick to jump in and "fix" conflicts that our children have with other children and  this impedes their social development.  We sit behind little screens throwing out comments with no regard for how our words will make someone else feel.  We do not look at the big picture only at how the situation effects us, and most times it isn't about us. 


I found out that Stephanie's situation was dire when I was sick.  I didn't want to go visit her being sick because I was holding on to the fact that of course she would kick this and I didn't want to get her sick and hurt her already compromised immune system.  I didn't go.  I didn't do a million things I would have loved to have done for her and now she's gone, and I can't. 


Do not wait to do a good deed because you have all the time in the world, because you don't.  Be intentional in your friendships be a helpmate and support to those around you. 


Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. 


Rest in peace sweet Stephanie.  You ran a good race!

You too can prevent forest fires.

A friends dog was brutally attacked by a pack of dogs.  My friend said that her dog was a very friendly dog and never strayed far from home.  The thought of this made me want to sit in the big blue chair.

You need people!  You need people that love you and surround you with kindness and joy.  You can't do it alone!  The world is going to chew you up and spit you out!  I want to clarify something here.  This is all not to say that you should cower in your home where it is safe and never leave.  This is to say that you need a support system of friends and loved ones that are there to be your life line!

You absolutely can invest your time into your career!  You can lose yourself in working out to make sure your body is completely physically fit.  There are so many things that one might be doing that is completely solitary.  Stop it.  These things aren't bad by any means but don't forget to invest in those around you because that investment is way more important than having great abs.  You can look great and if all you are left with is superficial relationships who is going to care about you if something happens and you no longer have those perfect abs?  Is your job going to care if for some reason you have to quit?  No, they are just going to fill your position with someone else.

Love the people around you well.  Not because you have to or should but because you want to make the world a better place!  There is so much hate in the world right now.  We don't need any more negative or passive individuals.  Go out.  Be kind.  Be the light.  Help keep someone from being devoured by the darkness.

Next chapter please!

I received word tonight that a dear friend of mine is losing her battle with cancer.  Now.  I am going to stay absolutely positive about this and pray for a miracle, a Hail Mary in the final seconds of the game, a "we just can't explain it!"  She deserves it.  She is joy and light and makes this world a better place.

I was thinking about her, looking at old pictures and yearbooks when it hit me, and therein the topic of tonights big blue chair moment.

I went to look up Stephanie's freshman picture in the yearbook.    I looked at the names, I looked at the faces.  Some were familiar, some absolutely were not.  Absolutely no recognition of them whatsoever!  This is incredible to me.  These were the people that I lived life with for some 13years.  I thought of some of them as more popular than me, some were the tough kids, some were the ones that always got into trouble none of that information is still prevalent in my mind.  They all look extremely goofy to me.  Big hair, big glasses, big teeth.  The ones that I thought were SO HANDSOME!! Are anything but at this point.  It is blowing my mind!  My perception of these people for those years is gone.  They have been left behind in my memories.

I tell my children all the time.  Some of these people aren't even going to be in the next chapter of your life.  Do not concern yourself with what they think of you.  Be yourself.  Be kind.  Be the ingredient to this crazy world that you were meant to be, otherwise it won't be the same without you!

The special gems that stay with you for several chapters are the ones to cherish.  They are your tribe.  Love them well.

Get off the bus!!!

Do you have any memories that are burned in your brain?  Ones that will rear their ugly head at the strangest of moments?  One of mine is from when I was in the 5th grade going in to the 6th grade.  The bus driver when we were in elementary school was so kind to us.  She knew us by name and would interact with all of us personally.  She gave us little presents and treats and I genuinely enjoyed the ride to school.  Spring of 5th grade year she told us all goodbye for the summer.  Fall of 6th grade year so less than 4 months later I had now started middle school.  I was nervous and worried and fearful.  I stepped on to the bus and it was the same driver.  A sense of relief poured over me until...I said hello and she glared at me.  I tried to speak to her and she yelled at me to get on the bus I was holding everyone up.  She was my bus driver for the rest of the time I rode the bus and she was never kind again.  Always hateful. 


Looking back on it I assume it was we were now middle schoolers and some people don't like middle schoolers or high schoolers.  I guess it could have been something had happened to her over the summer that changed her but my first deduction better suits this blog post so we will go with that...


If you check in to a hotel and have a bad experience do you then assume that ALL hotels must be bad?  If you have eaten hamburgers all your life and loved them but then you have a bad one do you then say I hate all hamburgers?  Of course not!  You would know that this was an isolated case and you have to take each situation into account before you decide.  If you have several bad hamburgers in a row by all means become a vegetarian but again its you...not them. 


Why is it then that we don't give other human beings this same courtesy?  A certain age group.  A certain race. A certain gender. I met a two year old once that was hateful I must hate all small children.  WHO DOES THAT?  Shockingly enough most people! 


Get out of your comfort zone and start gathering more data maybe that two year old was hungry and hadn't had a nap.  Be the bigger person.  Be kind to the eye rolling teen because you too were once an eye rolling teen that knew everything.  I promise on the inside they are still a scared little elementary schooler that just wants someone to be nice to them. 


Get off the bus.  Be kind. 

Singing mice will eventually drive you insane.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are being perceived incorrectly?  Like people don't like you or value your opinion but if only they knew you, truly knew you they would want to hang on your every word and be with you always?  Do you assume that because others have more friends than you do or post more pictures of their perfect family and their perfect life that you are less than?  Don't even get me started about the number of "likes" a person has.

May I be the first to tell you, get over yourself!  I do it too of course we are all human we all do it.  I will see a picture of a group of ladies going to dinner and think "hey! wait a minute!  I know all those ladies Why didn't I get invited?  I will then secretly judge all of them for weeks.  I'm not saying it's the right thing to do I'm just being transparent.  The thing is people aren't thinking about you or judging you anywhere near as much as you think they are.  They also didn't necessarily forget to invite you on purpose.  Tables are only so large and once you get past 4 to 6 you can't hear what's going on at the other end of the table anyway!

The truth is it is hard to plan gatherings.  You are always going to leave someone out or forget someone obvious, and then feelings will get hurt and friendships will be strained, you know unless of course we are all adults and NOT TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONALLY!!!

We are all just trying to get through this crazy thing called life without getting hurt, problem is we do get hurt, often actually.  It's how we learn.  If you touch a stove and burn yourself, you don't touch the stove again without being more careful the next time.  Plan an event yourself, I promise it will very quickly open your eyes to how hard it is to include everyone.  You will realize that people will misinterpret your intentions and there will be hurt feelings. (There always are.) Hopefully, the next time you aren't included  you will realize it just isn't all about you.

You are you!  Be you.  Don't try to be something you aren't to fit in and be liked, because then the world would be missing out on what you are supposed to be!  What if all of the Disney princesses wanted to be Cinderella?  We would have one story that I promise would eventually get old.  You can only watch singing mice so many times before wanting to scream.

Go out, be you, be kind!

Bumper stickers in Virginia.

I drive...a lot.  I have two children one in middle school and one in high school both very active in their activities.  I have noticed something recently.  In reading bumper stickers I have found that your belief system has basically nothing to do with your ability to drive.  (or inability to do so.) You can love Nascar and be a horrible driver.  You can love Jesus and be  the most self centered non courteous driver out there and might I suggest please remove the bumper sticker about Jesus is my co-pilot because if he truly were you would NOT be driving like that!

Life is like that you know.  A person can say they are a Christian and be a complete jerk therefore if the jerk person is the only Christian that some people meet then by power of deduction all Christians must be jerks right?  It works many ways.  All bikers are in a gang and want to kill you right?  All people with tattoos are on drugs right?  All fat people eat too much food.  All skinny people just need to sit down and eat a meal it's an easy fix.  Might I be the first to smack you with a reality stick and say YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT ON EARTH YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!

You can not judge a person by their outwardly appearance.  That is like deciding if you want to eat the meal in the bag without knowing what's inside, and guess what, that bag might just be filled with poo!!  You have no idea until you open it up and dive in.

I don't watch the news lately.  All it is is people arguing about half truths.  I can not listen to that on a daily basis else it depress me and in my hormonal state I need no help with that.  I somewhat know about what is going on in Virginia right now and this is what I have to say about that...

We are all human.  We are all equal.  No person is better or worse than another person because of their mental, financial, or physical situation.  If you are blessed be thankful that you are blessed and bless others.  I don't care how rich or poor you are you can always be kind.  The color of your skin is just the amount of pigment that you were blessed with.  We are the same.

Go out.  Be kind.  It costs your nothing, and yet you gain everything!

Invest in joy.

I am frugal.  I am not cheap.  I am frugal.  One thing I love is flowers.  Not cut flowers but more so ones that pop up in my yard each year.  At the end of each season,  I go to the discount table at my local hardware store.  I look for the close to dead perennials that look like they should go into the trash rather than go into the ground.  I can usually purchase them for about 10 cents.  I have no idea what I am putting in my garden but the next year when its time for the plants to sprout again I have 2 results 1. I have wasted my 10 cents.  2. I am blessed with a beautiful flowering plant that makes me smile. I am willing to take that chance.  I do not feel as if I am wasting money, because I could find a dime lying on the ground.  


Have you ever thought of your actions as an investment toward your future?  If you are kind, warm, forgiving and generous with your intentions you may not necessarily see the change in those around you immediately but do you not see that positive actions are going to bring the reaction that is more desirable? 


You make many choices each day, always choose to do the act of kindness.  Not because of what you will receive from it or because of how you will be perceived but just because it is the right thing to do.



Imagine that with each act of kindness you are planting seeds that will some day mature in to a beautiful garden, whereas if you are going around planting seeds of ill will and hatred your garden, the world around you, will have a much more dire appearance.


Try imagining every thing you do as if you are on a team, working well with others to accomplish a common goal of everyone being happy.  Stop imagining life as a competition that you have to win, to be  the best. 


Be the light, be the love, be the joy.

HURF

Facebook is a weird thing.  Socially especially.  I am always baffled when I receive friend requests from people that I am pretty sure hated me in high school, or from people that I perceived were so very different from me back then.  It made me ponder, as I often do and I wound up in the big blue chair to discuss.


I have a HURF.  A highly unfortunate resting face.  Therefore, there are people that will commonly assume that I think I am better than they are or that I am angry all the time simply because of the natural appearance of my face.  This is sad really.  If you will speak to me I will 9 times out of 10 immediately go into happy smiley Erika.  (that 10th time I genuinely am focusing on the demise of some annoying creature but I promise that is really rare.)


Just recently I accepted a friend request from a person I haven't seen in...ok....let us just go with really long time because I did the math and math makes me sad.  Back then she was in the in crowd.  Popular, beloved.  I was pretty sure she hated me.  I accepted her friend request because well...why not?  I'm happy with my life, have I gained weight?  Sure, but let's be honest it is who I am and I haven't spoken to her in this long I'm pretty sure my extra poundage isn't going to make a difference.  Funny thing, according to her facebook wall, we have more in common than I would have ever known.  So my assumption of who she is as a person seems to be at best, off at this point. 


This epiphany led me to wonder if there are people from my past who assume things about me solely substantiated by my HURF.  Do they think I'm a snob?  Do they think I'm a jerk?  Did they hear rumors that are completely untrue about me but because of my HURF they didn't bother to find out the truth.  Or, and this is way more likely, they don't think of me at all and I am totally overthinking this. 


The point to this entry is Do not assume.  Assuming leads to misinformation.  You might be missing out on a pretty fabulous individual just by assuming that they are not.  Speak to everyone make your own opinion about others and go from there. 

The day my job made my day!

Long ago my now husband and I decided that one day when we got married we would have children.  We planned that we would both work for awhile, but we would only live off of one salary so that when we were blessed with children I could stay home and it would not be a shock to our financial situation that we were down one salary.  Plus, we would have a nice little next egg that was once my salary. 


This was a good idea in theory.  Don't get me wrong it worked from a financial standpoint, but there are some things that one does not think of when one decides that they will stay home with their children.  If the job you have prior to staying home is one that you enjoy and you are appreciated, you will inevitably receive little pats on the back that you are doing a good job, reminders if you will that you are appreciated.  At the very least you receive a pay check regularly that is a tangible reminder that you are doing a good job. 


Not so much in parenting.  Back then I would consider my perks to be giggles from my little ones, kisses that weren't asked for, big bear hugs or my children resting their head on my shoulder.  I wuz you mama was like a bonus at the end of the year.  As my children have grown the "perks" have changed with them, a conversation with my teenagers or some quiet time while we are all in the same room are my new bonus'. 


I am now back into the workplace part time.  I work at my children's school in the clinic.  I enjoy getting to affect the day of little ones that are not feeling well or that have fallen and hurt themselves.  My main goal is to have a child that comes to me in tears, to leave me with laughter.  Today I received a bonus from this job.  Do not read this as I got a raise.  I was walking in the hall after lunch I passed a kindergarten class on the way back to their room.  A child stopped to say Hey!  You're my most favoritest of all the clinic worker persons.  Day made. 

Maybe you should just walk.

I found myself contemplating the human race this morning.  I was attempting to drive from point A to point B in rush hour traffic without losing my cool.  People running red lights, people cutting each other off, people blocking traffic, people using creative hand gestures when they were the offender.


I started writing an entry in my head of all of the things of this world that annoy me.  I got about 6 in and realized that I at one point in time or another have done not just a couple of them but all of them. 


How often are we the one that is running late?  or realize too late that we need to merge into traffic. (now, don't get me wrong there are the individuals that ignore the merge signs for miles because they are better than everyone else I am not speaking of these people, these people are dead to me.) Have you ever forgotten something you signed up to bring?  Accidents happen.  None of us are perfect. 


Here is the thing.  We have all messed up.  Hopefully you have known the feeling of mercy and grace.  Someone let you into traffic, or someone had the item that you were supposed to bring, whatever it was someone showed you kindness, a helping hand. 


How much better would life be if instead of feeling like everything in life is a competition, or everyone was out to get you, that you would instead realize that we are all in this life together.  We all want to be happy, healthy and loved. 


Suppress your rage today.  Go out with the thought in mind that you are going to be the joy in someone's day, and for goodness sake if you can't drive a vehicle without being a jerk....walk. 

Flowers or fine jewels?

If you walk around the earth you are greeted with many beautiful natural phenomenon.  A beautiful sunset, flowers in a field, a flaming fall tree in all its glory.  Those are gifts that are given to you to enjoy.  You don't have to do anything to find them really they are just there and they are fantastic. 


There are other beautiful things that are not quite as accessible but beautiful just the same.  Gold and fine jewels for example.  A ruby pendant in a gold setting did not just appear on the ground to be picked up and placed around your neck.  Someone had to mine for the ruby and for the gold.  They had to forge the gold and polish the ruby.  It was with a large amount of effort that the beauty of the pendant can now be admired. 


It's the same with people you know.  There are some people in your world that are just easy.  You get along with them, you have things in common with them they bring you joy and you are happy, but did you ever think about all of the friendships that might be hidden beneath the ground of life that you might find if only you would put a little effort in? 


I have two people in my life that I am thinking of in particular one is a happy beautiful golden ray of joy, their personality is outgoing and welcoming.  This is how God made them and it is wonderful. This person is a field of spring flowers.   The second person is not quite so outgoing as the first. The second is quiet and reserved, the first is a party waiting to happen. 


The reserved person will not necessarily talk to you right away.  They might even seem cold and unwelcoming.  This person is reserved and observant.  If you take the time to get to know them, if you will be patient and get past the rough exterior, you will soon find a quick wit and a hysterical sense of humor.  They are loyal.  They are intentional. They are genuine. 


I'm not saying that one is better than the other.  In my analogy you could derive that the second individual is more valuable than the first, but that is not my point.  Both are beautiful.  One is just way more complicated to get to know, but so very worth it. 


Go out and find your ruby. 

You mean I have to play nice?

I can remember quite clearly talking to the college admissions person about what I wanted to major in.  I was not prepared for that question.  I had not thought about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  I want to help people.  I love people. 


It's somewhat true.  I love to make people smile and laugh, especially laugh.  The thing is I have become quite jaded in my old age.  Too many times I have been hurt or misunderstood and I have learned that some people are just not nice.  Some people will judge you for what you are wearing or what you weigh.  They will form an opinion of you because of how you appear to them before you even open your mouth. I am just stubborn enough to not care most of the time but there is always that particularly lovely individual with their eye rolls and their deep sighs that will send extrovert Erika to 1 of 2 places.  1. Challenge excepted hateful biddy prepare to receive my other cheek!  or 2. I will grumble and rumble and judge you from a far imagining all the hateful evil zingers that I could say to you but I won't because God is watching. 


A story of my past rears its ugly head from time to time and I still think of all the things I should have said.  I was watching my son play soccer.  There was a particularly whiny girl on the other team.  She kept complaining about every thing and then she spontaneously started limping.  I leaned over to my husband and said something to the effect that she was faking.  Well.  Her mother was on the other side of my husband and she then proceeded to make a scene about how her precious treasure was not faking and what a horrible person I was for suggesting so. 


I apologized and wanted to find the biggest rock to crawl under.  However she proceeded to berate me about my evil opinion of her daughter.  Making sure that everyone on the sideline and both coaches and all the referees knew what I had quietly said to my husband. 


Now that I am past the situation I am positive that everyone on the sideline was thinking the same thing I said and everyone knew that this woman was a crazy person.  There is no doubt in my mind that I was in the right, but isn't it funny how bad situations can burn a memory in your brain? 


All that being said I don't love her.  I hope I never have to see her again ever in my entire life, and that is where God speaks to me.  God loves her.  God loves her just as much as he loves me!  HOW?! She's AWFUL!!!


I John 4:8  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 


I'm not saying its going to be easy.  I'm not saying you aren't going to want to squish their little heads, but you need to remember that God sees EVERYTHING you do and he still loves you!  Unconditionally! 

New Year...New Me...

I don't have many regrets in my life but I do have a few.  Prom date, junior year.  I asked a boy a year younger than me.  I didn't really know him, I just didn't want to not go to my junior prom.  At the time the big story of the night was that he had not brought enough money to pay for dinner.  It was a horrible evening of misunderstanding and not in the slightest bit magical. 


Now. I will say that my now husband took that information and made my senior year prom so magical.  He and I had been friends the year before and he had overheard me complaining to the girls in our group.  He remembered everything I had said and "fixed" it to be just as I had wanted.  Major points for my husband so it all worked out in the end. 


I now have a teenage son.  If he were to be invited to prom for a year that he was not old enough to go to I have to wonder, did my date from so many years ago think with me inviting him it meant that I would pay?  I would plan?  Good grief what a huge jerk I must have seemed to be.  I have no connection to that person anymore, it isn't an issue but it has caused me to always look at things from every angle. 


Other Erika regrets involve telling a couple that I had heard the hospital they were about to give birth to their baby in was ranked very low and had actually lost a few babies in the short time that they had been open.  It was true, but why on earth did I feel it necessary to tell them that? 


I did not try out for musical theatre in my high school because the choral director was creepy and I had heard a rumor that he was weird with the girls.  Again, rumor...hear say and I missed out on my absolute favorite thing in the world to do!


I did not do chorus in high school because I didn't know how to read music and I was afraid it would make me look dumb.  I love to sing!  I could have learned how to read music, but I chickened out. 


I will not bore you with the mistakes that I have made or the regrets that I have, they are what makes me me.  I will just say to anyone who is going off of a memory of something stupid I have done, or your opinion of me is based on something from the past.  Let's have lunch.  If you still don't like me, cool.  I don't assume myself to be a flavor enjoyed by the masses.  I am not a chocolate, vanilla or strawberry.  I am a chocolate peanut butter buckeye and proud of it! 

Humans Unite!

Carrie Fisher died recently.  Debbie Reynolds, her mother, died one day after her.  Some say Debbie died of a broken heart and was quoted saying she didn't want to live without Carrie. 


A comedian made a joke that "Black mama's don't die cuz they kids do! They cry and say God don't make no mistakes!"


I would hope that all mother's no matter what their color would come together to put this comedian in his place.


A parent should never have to bury a child.  It's just not the natural progression of life.  A mother, who deserves the name mother not because she gave birth but because she is one, knows that your child's pain becomes your own pain. 


I just want to scream at this comedian "STOP TRYING TO DIVIDE US!!!"  We have many things in common, we have many differences.  The color of our skin is just one of many things that makes us unique. 


Focus on the things that you have in common with others and start your conversations there. 


There was a cartoon when I was growing up that before two twins would go off to save the world they would say "Wonder twin powers ACTIVATE!"  One would then take form of some sort of water and the other would take form of some sort of animal.  They would then use their gifts to solve the problem..together. 


Do not judge someone because they are not exactly like you.  Gain a broader perspective by looking through their eyes.