Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my 44th birthday.  I feel no different than I did yesterday.  I feel no different than I did 20 years ago.  I still have the strange sense of humor, highly recognizable laugh and extremely unfortunate resting face that I have always had.  This realization has brought a new perspective on others that I wanted to share with you this morning.

I am fully aware that my 44 year old self no longer has the vim and vigor that my 24 year old self once had.  I understand that as a married mother of two I am not turning heads and inspiring whistles.  The thing is I still feel like that same person.  On the inside nothing has changed.  I do not expect that you would take one look at me and judge my abilities from my outwardly appearance but we all do it.

We look at age or weight or appearance to define our opinion about a person's worth.  You assume that because someone is too young or too old that they are not able to contribute.  You assume that because some one is overweight that they are lazy and just not trying hard enough.  You assume that because someone is covered in tattoos or piercings that they must be scary and mean.  Wrong.  Wrong. Wrong.

Just because God blessed you with high metabolism, or you haven't been on this planet as long as someone else, or you haven't had the same experiences that someone else has had makes you no better and no worse.  We are all the same.  We all breathe the same air, need some sort of sustenance to survive, get some sort of rest be it however long, and we all eventually...die.

Wealth, beauty, age....all fleeting.  Dig deeper into those around you.  Have a conversation with someone not for a reason you are comfortable with but because you have never met someone that has a horn and you want to know why they have one!

I pray that my 44th year is a good one!  I pray that I have many more trips around the sun!  I pray that I am a blessing to anyone I meet.  Life is book.  Go out today and make yours a best seller!

So, who are you voting for?

Just kidding.  I don't want to know who you are voting for.  I have absolutely no interest in politics whatsoever.  If politics would go back to what they were supposed to be in this great countries infancy, which would be real regular people who took turns representing the wants and needs of their neighbors without getting power hungry and self centered then sure I would be all about politics, but its not like that any more.  Money and Power have made the politics of this country less than desirable.

The thing is though we are still a very good people.  We can come together and make great things happen.  Government doesn't teach you how to be neighborly.  Government doesn't give you your sense of charity and kindness.

I have a friend that had had a pretty horrible day.  Do you know what she did?  She went to a hospital and did an anonymous act of kindness to make sure people that were struggling would have a little bit of joy.  She didn't know those people.  She got no recognition for it.  She just did it because it was the right thing to do.

We are put on this planet to love one another.  We are put on this planet to be kind to one another.  Get over this power and glory thing and realize that life is much sweeter when you are kind and you are around people that are kind.

I will say that this election has done one positive thing for this country.  Since neither side is all that excited about their candidate the result is some pretty excellent memes and a common bond forged between both parties in the downward spiral!  That one about "Is your refrigerator running? Because I would vote for it!" one is gold I tell you!

Go out.  Be kind.  We will get through this.

Berniece.

I was waiting at the post office today in a long line.  I wasn't overly chatty so I observed.  There was an older woman in front of me that had the ear of the guy in front of her telling him all about the book she was writing and her life and pretty much non stop talking.  It was her turn and she didn't even notice.  The man in line behind her had to tell her to go ahead.

The gentleman that she had been talking to just kind of rolled his eyes behind her back and she went to her window.  It made me sad.

Berniece just wanted someone to talk to.  Someone to connect with.  Don't we all?

I read a story about a young mom whose son has autism and was so shocked that another mom was reaching out to her to include her son in a birthday party by being willing to do whatever in order to make the boy with autism comfortable.

Shouldn't we all be aware of the needs of those around us and adjust accordingly?  Why is it that it seems that everyone is so cynical?  Be proud to be caught being kind!  Be kind whether someone notices or not because its the right thing to do!

You are not always going to be perfect in your life don't you wish that people would show you mercy and grace when you mess up?  Shouldn't you extend that to others?

Berniece got done with her turn at the window and then seemed to be trying to be pretending to do something so that she could happen upon the man and finish her conversation with him.  He ignored her and left in a hurry.

This world sucks.  Go out and look for ways to make it better.  A smile and a friendly word goes a long way!  Go find your Berniece.

Perfect relationship.

A young, unmarried, childless friend of mine follows a twitter account called Perfect Relationship.  Every once in awhile she will retweet different aspects of a perfect relationship that she agrees with and desires.  I too can remember the idealistic attributes of a relationship that I dreamed of long ago before marriage.  However, at this point, almost 18 years into marriage and two kids later I realize that the things that unmarried individuals need to be looking for are way more basic.

The latest post was "I want someone that I can lie my head on his chest and fall asleep while he plays with my hair."  Ok.  Can I just say, that's not a spouse....that's a mother or a grandmother thing to do.

A perfect relationship can be equated to the perfect team.  Your spouse will be your teammate.  Sometimes they will have the ball and sometimes you will.  It isn't so much who is holding the ball as it is how well you are able to work together to play the game.

Here is a list of random traits to ponder your significant other's aptitude toward.

1. Do they have a high tolerance to bodily fluids not only from themselves and you but from others?
2. Do they feel responsible to provide for your relationship? This is not necessarily monetarily.
3. Are they are handy around the house?
4. Do they see tasks that need to be done and do them without asking or having to be asked?  Do they need praise for having done them?
5. Do they understand the "Laughter is the best medicine" theory?
6. Can they see when you need to be tagged out in parenting without making you feel guilty about it or making your children realize your weakness'?
7. Are their parents still married?  How is their relationship?  Is it one that you want to replicate?
8. Do they do little things for you?  Like they know your favorite candy bar or drink and they will bring you one randomly, or if you don't want to go the food route, do they know a chore that you are responsible for that you don't enjoy and they do it every so often without being asked?

A good relationship comes in many different packages.  We all have different likes and dislikes.  We all like to play different roles.  Finding an individual that is not only capable but also willing to put up with your good side and your bad side is not going to be easy.  Life gets hard.  A vomiting child at 2 in the morning when everyone just wants to sleep is a test that you don't get to take until way past the start of the race.  Make sure you select your teammate wisely.