I should have known when I ran out of eye liner after only doing one eye that this was going to be a stellar day. I should have just turned around and gone back to bed.
My son has a tooth that is facing the wrong way. If all the other teeth are pointing down...it is pointing out. It is a permanent tooth so we have been to several different dentists and orthodontists to figure out what to do. Months ago we made an appointment with my son's dentist to fill a filling that needed to be taken care of and while my son was numb he was going to take the baby tooth out that is next to the affected tooth to hopefully give it room to come down properly. We had gone over it everyone was on the same page.
So, yesterday when the office called to remind me of the appointment and the receptionist said to me we were scheduled for an extraction and a filling I thought we were all on the same page.
My son went back to the dentist chair. I waited in the waiting room with my daughter. There was no yelling there was no struggle and a few minutes later out he came saying "All done." I looked at the dentist confused, I said Are you serious? Wow, that was fast! I asked if the tooth came out really easy because my son was not crying or agitated and if someone pulls a tooth out of your head that isn't ready to come out there are going to be tears, there just are. The dentist said Oh, I saw that on the record but I forgot. FORGOT. Months of planning and he FORGOT!!!
My son is now at the point that I didn't want to get to thus the months of planning....FULL FREAK OUT MODE. He is panicked, he is crying, he is mad and screaming. Every emotion he can have, except the good ones, is going through his body. He is adamant that he is not going back in that chair. We step outside and I call my husband who is equally as upset as I am that the entire operation has been blown by incompetence. After getting calmed back down we walk back into the office. I explain to him that we are leaving. The dentist says let me talk to him and I explained to my son that it was ok. He wasn't going to pull the tooth, I just didn't want my son to now hate dentists.
I left the room to allow for the two of them to talk privately but when it was taking way too long I walked back over to the room and stood where neither of them could see me. I listened as this man guilted my son telling him that since his mother couldn't get it done that his father would have to take a day off from work to bring him back in to get the tooth pulled and with that I took my son.
I was angry.
I get in the car and the phone rings it is a friend that is calling to check and see how the extraction went. I relay to her the story and my son quietly from the back seat says that's not all he said mommy. I said what else did he say? He told me that he didn't realize I was a bad kid. A bad kid. My straight A, never gets into trouble, prays for sports players safety any time he watches a sport, animal loving kid. Bad? NO!!!
I'm more angry.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Soundtrack
Does anyone else ever somewhat wish you could have a soundtrack to your life? You know music that automatically plays as you walk around your day to day life that if nothing else would warn people that you are in a really bad mood. I think I might be on to something, this could totally help relationships as we know it.
The next time you are out and about in your daily life I want you to think of the people you are around as different instruments of an orchestra. What instrument would they be? What kind of instrument are you to your friends? Are you a pleasant happy tune? Are you the blast from a Tuba? How about the constant of a bass drum?
No matter what kind of day it is good or bad be thankful for your orchestra. They are what makes up the song that is your life.
The next time you are out and about in your daily life I want you to think of the people you are around as different instruments of an orchestra. What instrument would they be? What kind of instrument are you to your friends? Are you a pleasant happy tune? Are you the blast from a Tuba? How about the constant of a bass drum?
No matter what kind of day it is good or bad be thankful for your orchestra. They are what makes up the song that is your life.
Children are a gift.
This morning I found myself alone. I had dropped my daughter off at a friend's function and the rest of my family was still asleep. It has been a snowy week leaving the children out of school so I was more than prepared to drink in my aloneness. I sat down at my local Panera to have an egg sandwich when my solitude was interrupted by the stern hushed voice of a man scolding his child. The child wanted to sit in a booth and the father wanted to sit at a table, however, with the intensity of the scolding I'm sure the father's fuse was just way short. The child was heartbroken. He stood there with tears welling up in his eyes for a moment and then the sobbing began. The father tried to console the child but the pain from the scolding was just too fresh.
I probably wouldn't have even noticed this little situation if it hadn't been for the week that I am coming off of. A child committed suicide this week. He is loved. He has a wonderful family. There is no sense in it at all. What the mother of this child wouldn't give to be able to hold her son. What she wouldn't give to be able to take the time to talk to him and see what is bothering him. She can't though. He is gone. Her grief, her pain, her unanswered questions are all huge points of pain in her life right now.
Is sitting in a booth versus a table a reason to scold your child with such intensity that bystanders are hurt by your harsh words? I'm by no means saying that children don't need to be corrected, but we as parents really need to pick our battles and evaluate what really matters.
Your child is a gift to you, a gift that is to change your heart from a self centered heart to a selfless heart. Your child comes into this world solely relying on you for everything. It can at times be trying at best. We all need a break to recharge ourselves so that we can be the best we can be, but keep in mind. Your small child does not deserve your venom. You can be firm with your child, you can educate your child in the behaviors that you expect but if you always turn to yelling and intimidation what lesson have you taught your child?
Just keep in mind when they are screaming in the middle of Target because they aren't getting what they want. You had to sit at the table.
I probably wouldn't have even noticed this little situation if it hadn't been for the week that I am coming off of. A child committed suicide this week. He is loved. He has a wonderful family. There is no sense in it at all. What the mother of this child wouldn't give to be able to hold her son. What she wouldn't give to be able to take the time to talk to him and see what is bothering him. She can't though. He is gone. Her grief, her pain, her unanswered questions are all huge points of pain in her life right now.
Is sitting in a booth versus a table a reason to scold your child with such intensity that bystanders are hurt by your harsh words? I'm by no means saying that children don't need to be corrected, but we as parents really need to pick our battles and evaluate what really matters.
Your child is a gift to you, a gift that is to change your heart from a self centered heart to a selfless heart. Your child comes into this world solely relying on you for everything. It can at times be trying at best. We all need a break to recharge ourselves so that we can be the best we can be, but keep in mind. Your small child does not deserve your venom. You can be firm with your child, you can educate your child in the behaviors that you expect but if you always turn to yelling and intimidation what lesson have you taught your child?
Just keep in mind when they are screaming in the middle of Target because they aren't getting what they want. You had to sit at the table.
20th College Reunion
Yes. I have just attended my 20th college reunion. Yes. I am well aware that I am getting older. Yes. I had a blast. Some things I wanted to re cap that stood out to me.
1. I don't care how much people have changed they still appear to be their 20 year old selves to me. I kept finding myself thinking that the gray hairs and wrinkles were just stage makeup. The true heart of the friendship is what mattered and guess what, laughter doesn't age.
2. A cronut. A cross between a donut and a croissant. It is tasty and should be experienced.
3. Earbuds should be saved for the gym. They are killing conversation as we know it. How is anyone ever going to meet someone new if they walk around with earbuds in all the time? ( Get off my lawn )
4. Nametags are a beautiful thing and I think this is something we should start utilizing on a daily basis.
5. Be very open minded when going to a 20 year reunion. Your 20 year old self is much different than your 40 year old self and people that you didn't necessarily get along with back then might have matured or evolved into something that is quite interesting to you today.
1. I don't care how much people have changed they still appear to be their 20 year old selves to me. I kept finding myself thinking that the gray hairs and wrinkles were just stage makeup. The true heart of the friendship is what mattered and guess what, laughter doesn't age.
2. A cronut. A cross between a donut and a croissant. It is tasty and should be experienced.
3. Earbuds should be saved for the gym. They are killing conversation as we know it. How is anyone ever going to meet someone new if they walk around with earbuds in all the time? ( Get off my lawn )
4. Nametags are a beautiful thing and I think this is something we should start utilizing on a daily basis.
5. Be very open minded when going to a 20 year reunion. Your 20 year old self is much different than your 40 year old self and people that you didn't necessarily get along with back then might have matured or evolved into something that is quite interesting to you today.
The whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Friendships are weird.
You have close friends that are more like family, you have acquaintances that you don't really ever remember their name but you know you know them from somewhere, you have friends that you keep is friends because you know how they are and you do not want them as an enemy.
I love the kinds of friends that you could call at 3 o'clock in the morning and they would answer the phone. I value true friendship and appreciate it especially when the person feels like they can be completely honest with me. I will say that there are some types of friendship traits that I have no time for. Such as....
If I am talking to you and we are getting to know one another and you are telling me what you think I want to hear...I'm done. We aren't going to be close.
If you ask me if I have lost weight and you don't know me you just see that I am a larger girl and therefore that would be an easy go to "compliment" to go with. We aren't going to be close.
If the only time you call me is when there is some sort of drama going on in our world and you think that I might have the inside scoop. We aren't going to be close.
If while you and I are talking you are looking around the room for someone else to talk to. We aren't going to be close.
My children have been discovering these types of people in their worlds and this is definitely a hard one to parent. I just tell them that all people are different and you want to have relationships with people who are true and real and good. Don't feel like you need to be friends with the people that are popular or have the best toys because popularity fades and toys break. A true friendship based on mutual appreciation is a treasure that should be valued.
You have close friends that are more like family, you have acquaintances that you don't really ever remember their name but you know you know them from somewhere, you have friends that you keep is friends because you know how they are and you do not want them as an enemy.
I love the kinds of friends that you could call at 3 o'clock in the morning and they would answer the phone. I value true friendship and appreciate it especially when the person feels like they can be completely honest with me. I will say that there are some types of friendship traits that I have no time for. Such as....
If I am talking to you and we are getting to know one another and you are telling me what you think I want to hear...I'm done. We aren't going to be close.
If you ask me if I have lost weight and you don't know me you just see that I am a larger girl and therefore that would be an easy go to "compliment" to go with. We aren't going to be close.
If the only time you call me is when there is some sort of drama going on in our world and you think that I might have the inside scoop. We aren't going to be close.
If while you and I are talking you are looking around the room for someone else to talk to. We aren't going to be close.
My children have been discovering these types of people in their worlds and this is definitely a hard one to parent. I just tell them that all people are different and you want to have relationships with people who are true and real and good. Don't feel like you need to be friends with the people that are popular or have the best toys because popularity fades and toys break. A true friendship based on mutual appreciation is a treasure that should be valued.
I'm a liar.
My family and I had selected a restaurant for our dining pleasure the other night. I need to tell you that my daughter has an extremely limited restaurant tolerance and our selection was not on her list. However, she eats very little anyway and every once in awhile my husband and I play the trump card and go where we want to go. So, this night was no different and she was none to happy. We are attempting to keep the conversation light and airy and she is having none of it. She is in full on pout mode.
Cue my son to spill his entire glass of sweet tea all over himself and the table and you have the beginnings of a perfect storm.
So, as we were walking to the car hoping that there just so happened to be a change of clothes for him in the car which could totally happen because at times my car is nothing but a rolling bin of my children's things.
I noticed the run down car but thought nothing of it until the man jumped out of it and asked if we were from around here. Now, at this point I knew exactly what he was going to ask. He was going to give me a long tailored story about how he just needed $5 for gas to get his wife and he somewhere. So, before he could get anything else asked I said No, we are on the road and he just dumped tea in his lap so I've got to go, sorry.
We get to the car and my son looked at me so funny. He said Mommy, why did you lie? I said Well, technically I'm not from around right here, but yes I should not have lied.
Why was my knee jerk reaction to not help someone?
Now, I can justify my reaction till I'm blue in the face. My tolerance was low because of my daughter's behavior, I was rattled because my son was covered in tea, I was hungry and not happy to be out in the cold shuffling through a messy van that I just cleaned the day before. This guy should be thankful that I didn't rip his head off just for adding something to my plate, right? Wrong.
I should have not lied. I should have said My son dumped tea on himself and I don't have time, I'm sorry. A lie is a lie is a lie, and that is all there is to it. A little white lie is still a lie. Whether or not you are going to get in trouble for what is the truth, it is still better to be truthful.
Cue my son to spill his entire glass of sweet tea all over himself and the table and you have the beginnings of a perfect storm.
So, as we were walking to the car hoping that there just so happened to be a change of clothes for him in the car which could totally happen because at times my car is nothing but a rolling bin of my children's things.
I noticed the run down car but thought nothing of it until the man jumped out of it and asked if we were from around here. Now, at this point I knew exactly what he was going to ask. He was going to give me a long tailored story about how he just needed $5 for gas to get his wife and he somewhere. So, before he could get anything else asked I said No, we are on the road and he just dumped tea in his lap so I've got to go, sorry.
We get to the car and my son looked at me so funny. He said Mommy, why did you lie? I said Well, technically I'm not from around right here, but yes I should not have lied.
Why was my knee jerk reaction to not help someone?
Now, I can justify my reaction till I'm blue in the face. My tolerance was low because of my daughter's behavior, I was rattled because my son was covered in tea, I was hungry and not happy to be out in the cold shuffling through a messy van that I just cleaned the day before. This guy should be thankful that I didn't rip his head off just for adding something to my plate, right? Wrong.
I should have not lied. I should have said My son dumped tea on himself and I don't have time, I'm sorry. A lie is a lie is a lie, and that is all there is to it. A little white lie is still a lie. Whether or not you are going to get in trouble for what is the truth, it is still better to be truthful.
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