Flowers or fine jewels?

If you walk around the earth you are greeted with many beautiful natural phenomenon.  A beautiful sunset, flowers in a field, a flaming fall tree in all its glory.  Those are gifts that are given to you to enjoy.  You don't have to do anything to find them really they are just there and they are fantastic. 


There are other beautiful things that are not quite as accessible but beautiful just the same.  Gold and fine jewels for example.  A ruby pendant in a gold setting did not just appear on the ground to be picked up and placed around your neck.  Someone had to mine for the ruby and for the gold.  They had to forge the gold and polish the ruby.  It was with a large amount of effort that the beauty of the pendant can now be admired. 


It's the same with people you know.  There are some people in your world that are just easy.  You get along with them, you have things in common with them they bring you joy and you are happy, but did you ever think about all of the friendships that might be hidden beneath the ground of life that you might find if only you would put a little effort in? 


I have two people in my life that I am thinking of in particular one is a happy beautiful golden ray of joy, their personality is outgoing and welcoming.  This is how God made them and it is wonderful. This person is a field of spring flowers.   The second person is not quite so outgoing as the first. The second is quiet and reserved, the first is a party waiting to happen. 


The reserved person will not necessarily talk to you right away.  They might even seem cold and unwelcoming.  This person is reserved and observant.  If you take the time to get to know them, if you will be patient and get past the rough exterior, you will soon find a quick wit and a hysterical sense of humor.  They are loyal.  They are intentional. They are genuine. 


I'm not saying that one is better than the other.  In my analogy you could derive that the second individual is more valuable than the first, but that is not my point.  Both are beautiful.  One is just way more complicated to get to know, but so very worth it. 


Go out and find your ruby. 

You mean I have to play nice?

I can remember quite clearly talking to the college admissions person about what I wanted to major in.  I was not prepared for that question.  I had not thought about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  I want to help people.  I love people. 


It's somewhat true.  I love to make people smile and laugh, especially laugh.  The thing is I have become quite jaded in my old age.  Too many times I have been hurt or misunderstood and I have learned that some people are just not nice.  Some people will judge you for what you are wearing or what you weigh.  They will form an opinion of you because of how you appear to them before you even open your mouth. I am just stubborn enough to not care most of the time but there is always that particularly lovely individual with their eye rolls and their deep sighs that will send extrovert Erika to 1 of 2 places.  1. Challenge excepted hateful biddy prepare to receive my other cheek!  or 2. I will grumble and rumble and judge you from a far imagining all the hateful evil zingers that I could say to you but I won't because God is watching. 


A story of my past rears its ugly head from time to time and I still think of all the things I should have said.  I was watching my son play soccer.  There was a particularly whiny girl on the other team.  She kept complaining about every thing and then she spontaneously started limping.  I leaned over to my husband and said something to the effect that she was faking.  Well.  Her mother was on the other side of my husband and she then proceeded to make a scene about how her precious treasure was not faking and what a horrible person I was for suggesting so. 


I apologized and wanted to find the biggest rock to crawl under.  However she proceeded to berate me about my evil opinion of her daughter.  Making sure that everyone on the sideline and both coaches and all the referees knew what I had quietly said to my husband. 


Now that I am past the situation I am positive that everyone on the sideline was thinking the same thing I said and everyone knew that this woman was a crazy person.  There is no doubt in my mind that I was in the right, but isn't it funny how bad situations can burn a memory in your brain? 


All that being said I don't love her.  I hope I never have to see her again ever in my entire life, and that is where God speaks to me.  God loves her.  God loves her just as much as he loves me!  HOW?! She's AWFUL!!!


I John 4:8  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 


I'm not saying its going to be easy.  I'm not saying you aren't going to want to squish their little heads, but you need to remember that God sees EVERYTHING you do and he still loves you!  Unconditionally! 

New Year...New Me...

I don't have many regrets in my life but I do have a few.  Prom date, junior year.  I asked a boy a year younger than me.  I didn't really know him, I just didn't want to not go to my junior prom.  At the time the big story of the night was that he had not brought enough money to pay for dinner.  It was a horrible evening of misunderstanding and not in the slightest bit magical. 


Now. I will say that my now husband took that information and made my senior year prom so magical.  He and I had been friends the year before and he had overheard me complaining to the girls in our group.  He remembered everything I had said and "fixed" it to be just as I had wanted.  Major points for my husband so it all worked out in the end. 


I now have a teenage son.  If he were to be invited to prom for a year that he was not old enough to go to I have to wonder, did my date from so many years ago think with me inviting him it meant that I would pay?  I would plan?  Good grief what a huge jerk I must have seemed to be.  I have no connection to that person anymore, it isn't an issue but it has caused me to always look at things from every angle. 


Other Erika regrets involve telling a couple that I had heard the hospital they were about to give birth to their baby in was ranked very low and had actually lost a few babies in the short time that they had been open.  It was true, but why on earth did I feel it necessary to tell them that? 


I did not try out for musical theatre in my high school because the choral director was creepy and I had heard a rumor that he was weird with the girls.  Again, rumor...hear say and I missed out on my absolute favorite thing in the world to do!


I did not do chorus in high school because I didn't know how to read music and I was afraid it would make me look dumb.  I love to sing!  I could have learned how to read music, but I chickened out. 


I will not bore you with the mistakes that I have made or the regrets that I have, they are what makes me me.  I will just say to anyone who is going off of a memory of something stupid I have done, or your opinion of me is based on something from the past.  Let's have lunch.  If you still don't like me, cool.  I don't assume myself to be a flavor enjoyed by the masses.  I am not a chocolate, vanilla or strawberry.  I am a chocolate peanut butter buckeye and proud of it! 

Humans Unite!

Carrie Fisher died recently.  Debbie Reynolds, her mother, died one day after her.  Some say Debbie died of a broken heart and was quoted saying she didn't want to live without Carrie. 


A comedian made a joke that "Black mama's don't die cuz they kids do! They cry and say God don't make no mistakes!"


I would hope that all mother's no matter what their color would come together to put this comedian in his place.


A parent should never have to bury a child.  It's just not the natural progression of life.  A mother, who deserves the name mother not because she gave birth but because she is one, knows that your child's pain becomes your own pain. 


I just want to scream at this comedian "STOP TRYING TO DIVIDE US!!!"  We have many things in common, we have many differences.  The color of our skin is just one of many things that makes us unique. 


Focus on the things that you have in common with others and start your conversations there. 


There was a cartoon when I was growing up that before two twins would go off to save the world they would say "Wonder twin powers ACTIVATE!"  One would then take form of some sort of water and the other would take form of some sort of animal.  They would then use their gifts to solve the problem..together. 


Do not judge someone because they are not exactly like you.  Gain a broader perspective by looking through their eyes.