I would like to call for a recount.

Something flashed on my computer today and I disagree whole heartedly and I wanted to say so. It was a list of the World's most beautiful people. Really? The whole wide world? So, then you're saying you have seen everyone? Taken into account everything? You are fully ready to stand by your list that you are putting out there into cyber space as these few people are the most beautiful in the entire world.

Okay, fine. I will look at your list I will humor you!

I looked at said list. I am not amused. Celebrities? Air brush sportin', nanny hiring, private jet flyin', personal chef usin' celebrities? Now, don't get me wrong. They are pretty. They are talented, but beautiful? Take the personal stylist, hair and makeup and the lighting guy out and are they still beautiful? The most beautiful in all of the world?

That drives me crazy. I hate that the media gets to decide what is beautiful. I hate that weight and beauty and personality play a role in what is beautiful. Did my grandmother make the list? My grandmother was beautiful. She lived into her 90's and until the day she died she was making sure that those around her were loved and knew that Jesus loved them. Her funeral was attended by 100's of people even though she had outlived the majority of her friends and family.

Did Dori make the list? Dori was gorgeous but not to the world. Dori was covered in tumors over her entire body but her heart was pure and she loved everyone. How about Mother Teresa? or maybe some nurse that works hard every day putting people back together still to go home to her family giving every bit of herself to others. Oh she's beautiful. Beauty has nothing to do with what you look like and everything to do with what your character is.

Are you self centered and rude? How about impatient and overbearing? Now, think about it because I can answer yes to all of these. You don't have to tell anyone that you are it is just between you and God. Anyway, if you are they already know. Can we also put on the table generosity? These billionaires make news for donating a building or a planet or whatever. Oh, they are so generous. It is so wonderful of them! Is it? Really? I'm guessing if you figured up the percentage of what they give to what they make it would be pretty low plus how did the donation benefit them? It was at the very least free advertising.

I am more impressed with the dad who has three kids, works full time, coaches little league, mows his own grass, grills out on friday nights, is a deacon in the church and gives to charity on a regular basis. Not to mention is a big tipper, because he knows how hard the waitress is working, and gives money to that homeless man on the street because it is "the right thing to do".

Take the single mom who works full time, bakes cookies for the bake sale, organizes snacks for the game, conquers piles of laundry weekly, reads a bedtime story and supports a child through Compassion international. Those are the generous ones. Not only their time but also their money. I think if you could calculate the percentages the billionaires would pale in comparison.

Beauty and generosity such wonderful words just make sure that you are maintaining your own perception of what is beautiful and what is generous and not allowing the world to do so for you. Appreciate the beautiful by telling them or showing kindness or even by helping them complete the task that they are performing. Be generous not only with your money but also with your time and don't complain about it. God loves a cheerful giver, give it all you've got!!

I am to important!

I need you to tell you a little something about myself. I hate to shop. I hate to pick out clothes because I can never find something that I like that fits that is in style that matches that isn't extremely expensive.

Somedays I wouldn't even care what it costs and I still can't find something. I hate it with every ounce of my being. If I find something I like I buy every color they have and then play mix and match all season. I know people notice, I don't care. I'm just happy to be covering my inappropriate parts.

I tell you all of this because I have been feeling judged lately. As if this little tidbit about my personality makes me less of a person. I get that I have gained weight and I want to get it off. I do. It isn't like I enjoy being large. I feel like Kirstie Alley and I'm pretty sure I would have broken Maks. This does not make me unimportant or invaluable.

Oh I'm valuable baby, she said trying to convince herself. God put me on this planet. Now, I realize that I am the one that has done this to my body and I do want to fix it I promise, but it isn't the size that I am that makes me valuable. My ability to create humor...I may not be doing it right now but if we were to have a meal together there would be laughter. I guarantee you. I do not feel like I have accomplished my days work if I haven't at least made a person smile when they leave me. I'm also pretty sure there will be good food. If you are around me long enough I am going to get hungry and I will take you with me or leave awkwardly if you are annoying or boring me you know whichever comes first.

I am also a really good listener, well, sometimes. Sometimes I have been so starved for adult conversation that you won't be able to get a word in edgewise but I am telling you this now so that you will understand. I have decided that I would like to move to an island with very poor lighting with lots of blind people, and I would like for all the skinny people to stay home and be depressed about the fact that they are not large and in charge. This is what I have decided. Have a great day!