Do not be annoyed so easily!

I was sitting in the symphony concert yesterday.  I was excited to get into the Christmas spirit with the beautiful music and festive décor.  I'm not going to lie I choked a little bit at the cost of the tickets, but I am a firm believer in supporting the arts so there we were on a rainy cold afternoon in an auditorium filled to the brim with people. 


I hadn't noticed him before the intermission.  Either he had slept through the first part or he was a perfect angel either way I was blissfully unaware of his presence.  However, during the second half a young boy was on my last nerve.  If he wasn't kicking my chair he was pulling my daughters hair.  If he wasn't jumping up and down screaming THAT TICKLES!!! he was talking loudly to his parents.    I was completely annoyed that his adults did not see it necessary to remove him from the situation. 


Then I thought about it.


I also get completely annoyed that people automatically hand devices to small children therefore eliminating the growth of a child's imagination.  If a child is soothed by an electronic device they never teach themselves how to be content with nothing.  It is a huge pet peeve of mine. 


This child, while somewhat annoying, had been brought to an event above his maturity level and was being made to be entertained by purely the event that he was at.  He was not being handed something to distract him, he was being taught to self entertain.  Bravo mom and dad Bravo!!


It is funny how if you will take a few minutes to look at a situation from every angle you become way less offended by little things and the world seems just a little brighter! 

Things I want to remember

One of these days when I am older if I am blessed with grandchildren there are some things that I want to remember so I am going to put them down here.  These are more for me than for you....


1. I want to be the fun creative grandmother.  I want to take my grandchildren to things at the library and get them a library card and have a special library bag (My mother always made mine with a holder for my library card.) I want to do this on a specific day as to give my grandchild's parents a constant each week so that they will be able to plan for appointments or grocery shopping or whatever strikes their fancy. 


2. I want to know my grandchildren so well that I don't have to ask what they would like as a gift.  I want to buy them something that they will enjoy but that they didn't even know existed.  I will not give my own child money and instruct them to buy something for my grandchild and put my name on it. 


3. I want to have my grandchildren over for regular sleepovers so that their parents can plan toward that and know that they will have that time to themselves. 


4. I want to plan family trips that I fund.  I want for both children and their families to meet my husband and I at a particular location and just enjoy each other away from the hustle and bustle. 


5.  I want to bake with my grandchildren.  I will not stress about the mess.  I will allow for crazy creativity rather than needing everything to be perfect.  I will know then that the memory of making the cookies  is what will remain unless of course you act the fool over the fact that an entire gallon of milk...slipped. 


6.  I will wear the bathing suit.  I will know that if I am old enough to be a grandmother no one is looking at my body.  They are just impressed that I am involved in my grandchildren's lives. 


7. I have always said that I will be the grandmother that rides the roller coasters but the problem is I am having trouble riding them now.  I am afraid that by the time I have grandchildren if I am blessed to have some I won't be able to at all, but I stand in the line with them and then walk through just like I do with my kids now.  You still get the bonding time in the line! 


I am sure that there are many other life lessons that I want to tell older me.  This is just today's batch.

Hope in the ashes

There have been wildfires in the Great Smoky Mountains.  Last week 87mph winds caused the fires to become a massive inferno that destroyed businesses, homes and took the lives of several people.  This is a horrible sad time for our community. 


A news person, trying to get "the story" made some insensitive remarks about what could have been changed so that the lives would not have been lost.  People were outraged!  People spoke of petitions and how she needed to lose her job over her insensitive remarks.  The thing is though she was just doing her job.  She was trying to get the whole story, to be a voice for the lives that were lost that no longer have a voice.  Her only crime besides being highly insensitive was her unfortunate love of turtlenecks. 


The mayor handled the situation beautifully.  He said that we were not going to take on the role of Monday morning quarterback.  He told the woman that once they had a chance to sit down and review they would visit what could have been done differently but for now they had to keep moving forward. 


Why is it that we find ourselves to be experts on everything? It drives me insane when in a football game the officials review a play on film.  They look at the play from several different angles, in slow motion over and over again and then make their decision from that information and armchair quarterbacks everywhere want the head of the referee on a stick.  Well.  Sherlock.  The referee made his call in real time, from his one perspective so if it took you 3 minutes of review to decide whether or not his foot was in or out could you give the guy a break? 


Absolutely it is a horrible situation that these lives were lost but no one could have predicted that the fires would have ignited in such a manner.  No one can see the future.  Accidents happen.  Sometimes life is not fair.  You can always find the good side and the bad side in any situation.  The story that needs to be reported about these fires is the one of Goodwill.  People from across the nation have offered help.  We have come together to help these families that have lost loved ones. 


The world is not a horrible place.  There is still good in the world.  This Christmas remember to love those around you and find the good in everything. 

The hills of Tennessee

I live in East Tennessee.  The volunteer state.  Recently we have been dealing with drought and wild fires.  Last night the fires reached Gatlinburg.  Gatlinburg is a resort city that is visited by tourists year round as an access point to the Great Smoky Mountains. 


My heart is so heavy as I write this.  I will lose no property in these fires.  I have no loved ones that are effected by this tragedy, and yet I am moved to tears by the loss that is occurring in these beloved hills.  I am contemplating what this means.  What is the bigger picture?  What is the Why? 


On a larger scale our nation has so many horrible things going on right now.  So much anger and venom being blasted around by "them".  "They" don't know what we are dealing with.  "They" are so horrible.  "They" only want what's best for them!  We are One Nation!  We are one people.  We all want for good things. 


Do not focus your thoughts solely on yourself.  Look at the bigger picture.  What is the Need? 


These fires came without warning.  There was no way to plan, to protect yourself from them. We can not put our hope in earthly things.  People have lost everything, but you know what?  The sun came up today.  Blue skies and sunshine fill the world with hope, they may not be visible through the smoke and clouds but they are there. 


I am a Christian, my hope comes from the Lord.  There is a verse that keeps popping into my head today. 


Psalm 121 1-8
I lift up my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. 

Criss Cross Applesauce

Can someone please explain to me when sitting indian style became sitting criss cross applesauce?  Is it because sitting indian style is too racially insensitive?  If you answered yes to this I have a follow up question...  What other phrases that I have been saying my entire life is now considered inconsiderate?

Are we heartless callous individuals if we ask woodchucks how much wood they can chuck because that stresses them out to insinuate they are not able to perform at a level as high as their peers?

Are we stressing Old MacDonald out asking about all his different animals because he is choosing to only focus on free range chickens?

What about Peter Peter Pumpkin eater?  Has anyone called social services to see why on earth he is keeping his wife in a pumpkin?

Don't even get me started about the plight of the three blind mice!!

I feel that we are becoming a nation that is too sensitive for its own good.  Thicker skin...a sense of humor....these are good things.

God Bless America, please.

It is your right, it is your privilege, it is your responsibility to vote.  You can be cynical and think that the election process is corrupt that your vote won't matter anyway.  You would be wrong.  You can be negative and say that neither candidate stands for anything that you believe in so therefore you will not vote.  You would be wrong.


The two candidates in this election are both riddled with negative points.  Neither one deserves the title President, but these are the two individuals that we the American people have selected through our processes. 


The world that we live in got this way because of choices we all made.  Our government is the way it is because we voted the people into office be it right or be it wrong.


Tomorrow the sun will rise.  The world will continue on.  This country that we live in is a great one.  It has suffered through politicians before and survived. America is not a great country because of one person that sits in an oval office.  America is great because of its many people that come with different backgrounds, different beliefs, different convictions.  Do we have crazy cousins that we would like to hide in the back of the family picture?  Of course!  Do we all need to see a job that needs to be done and do it rather than wait for someone else to do it because "it's not our responsibility?"  (Oh heavens yes, but that is another entry all together.) 


Please.  Today, cast your vote based on your own convictions.  Be educated in your voting. 


God Bless America, please. 

Animals

I was 18 when I left home for the first time.  I went to the same college that my father had gone to.  It was an hour and a half from my hometown and it was a small Christian liberal arts school.  I want to say that I had not researched the whole college experience the way people do today.  There were no college visits with my parents, there were no higher education counselors that helped me direct my path.  I just picked from what I knew and luckily it was an excellent choice.

I had been on campus for a couple of weeks when the homesickness was really setting in.  The few friends that I had made all had a class the hour before lunch, so most days I would go to the post office which was at the bottom of campus and then walk through a canyon to get up to my dorm which was at the top of campus, all alone.  Most days I would spend that time crying and lamenting the decision to go so far away from home and maybe it was all a big mistake and maybe I can just transfer out and go live at home.  Change...bad!!!!

So, one day I decided instead of crying I was going to pray.  I prayed all the way from the bottom to the top and at some point a raccoon ran out in front of me.   I had the sense that God had sent the raccoon to speak to me, to say I am watching you, I am with you, everything is going to be okay.

We are now some 26 years later, over the years many times little animals have brought me joy, peace, a sense of calm.  One time even laughter, it was about 10 years ago, my children were very small.  My toddlers were strapped into their car seats screaming for one reason or another and I was trying to get some where that I could get them out and calm them down.  I was sitting at a red light, frustrated, frazzled and spent.  I looked up and directly in front of me was a cow, chewing his cud.  This cow was staring me dead in the eye, slowly chewing, chewing, chewing.  The cow then took its long black tongue and stuck the entire thing up his nostril.  I bust out laughing, quite hysterically I might add.  My children stopped crying and started trying to figure out why Mommy was laughing.

God knows exactly what we need, all the time, when we need it.  Be aware of his presence, be it through a bird in the sky, or a squirrel in a tree.  Your very own pet can be a reminder of God's constant presence by your side.  God knows the number of the hairs on your head.  He knows your needs, do not worry about tomorrow.

Job 12 7-10
"But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you.  Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?  In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

Brightness Error...

Have you ever been looking at your phone and not be able to see it very well?  Do you start obsessing about how your vision must be going because why on earth wouldn't you be able to see!  Only to realize that somehow the brightness on your display has gotten turned down and once you solve that problem your worries are gone! 


This is how I am feeling during this election season.  I try to keep up to date on the candidates.  I try to be an informed voter.  I want to place an educated vote, but this year is so different.  Don't get me wrong every election has its mud slinging but this year it is more like a scene out of Gladiator and we are all the rabid crowd! 


So, I stopped.  I stopped listening to the news, I stopped reading political based social media.  I have blocked friends on both sides of this fight.  I will not turn on my television whatsoever except to watch the Voice, because it's awesome. 


I am just living my life with the people that make up my life and guess what?!  My brightness went way up!!!  I have friends that are democrat, friends that are republican, I have friends that are Christian, I have friends that are non-Christian, I have friends that are gay, I have friends that are straight.  All we all want is for our world to be bright.  It feels as if the media is wanting us to think that the world is a horribly dark place and of course it can be, but it isn't anywhere near as bad as they are portraying. 


Go out to day and be a bright spot in someone's day.  You don't have to think like them but you also don't need to put them down because they are different from you.  Turn up your brightness!

If I should die before I wake...

We are not promised tomorrow.  Anyone of us could have any number of things happen to us and not be here one minute from now.  I'm not trying to be morbid but more so realistic.  If this were to happen to me there are some things I would want the world to know and I would want to have the last word.

1. If you were to hear of my death I am going to need you to gather a group of friends and sing all 5 verses to The Wonderful Grace of Jesus.  The more elaborate the better.  Kudos to the person who gets a full orchestra.  I don't need classically trained vocalists because I want people that are singing from their hearts.  I'm going to be watching.  I will know who respected my final wishes and I'm not trying to scare you or anything but I will haunt you if you don't.

2.  If anyone cries at my funeral let it only be because they are laughing so hard at a memory of me.  I am in a much better place than this world do not cry for me.  Laugh because I brought you joy and if you didn't like me...laugh because you no longer have to deal with me but no tears okay?

3.  To my immediate family I loved each and everyone of you with my whole heart.  That is not to say that you did not drive me insane at one time or another but you were my world.  I did not care about climbing a corporate ladder or finding fame I wanted to know that each of you always felt loved.

4. To my friends, and by friends I pretty much mean any human that ever returned my smile.  I want each and every one of you to know you are loved, you are good enough.  If you feel like no one likes you.  Like everyone hates you.  Please know that everyone feels like this every once in awhile, you are human, but you are also wrong.  It isn't that people don't like you it is that people are so self absorbed thinking that other people hate them that they don't take the time to love on others.  Go out and do something nice for someone and just see how quickly your own perspective changes.

5.  To the person who has to clean up my stuff.  Bless your heart.  The reason I was keeping all of this stuff was because I was completely convinced that I would need it again someday.  It's good stuff.  I just don't need it where I'm going.  Don't just throw it away, I will be watching and I will totally judge you highly.

6. To my non-Christian friends.  I have failed you miserably.  I never wanted to beat you over the head with the knowledge of the Love of Jesus.  I didn't want you to think I was judging you and thinking that I was better than you.  I am a horribly flawed individual it is only because Jesus loves me that I have hope and guess what...he loves you too...just exactly as you are whether you like it or not he loves you.  Could you at the very least read a book?  There is one called The case for Christ that is really good.  I haven't read it because I was not a reader, my attention span was way more Squirrel level than that, but I hear good things.

7. I would also like to go on record to say that no matter what you have heard of me or how weird you may think that I am I have never taken even the first sip of alcohol or done drugs.  It was just never something I wanted to do, and after awhile it just became something I wanted to see how long I could keep it going.  Not the drug part that stuff will kill you, but the alcohol part.  I will say that I would have liked to have tried a glass of wine just to see what it tasted like but it would have needed to be a very sweet wine because I have the tastebuds of a 3 year old.  I never had the first cup of coffee either for this very reason.  I know that I may appear weird or half drunk part of the time but that is just my God given personality.  Can you imagine if I did delve into the world of narcotics and hallucinogens?  Would not have been pretty.

To be honest these are things I don't care that you know even with me still around which is why I wrote them.  You are loved my friends.  Very much so, by me.  Have a great day and I will see you later!

Just as you are.

Do not ask me to talk politics with you.  I won't.  It isn't that I am uneducated or naive.  It isn't that I am too immature or that I am only interested in trivial things.  It is more so that I despise arguing and 9 times out of 10 a conversation involving politics will in some way eventually come to a disagreement.

I will not argue over which candidate is better because I am well aware that both candidates are human and both candidates will do or have done things that will disappoint me or go against that which I believe in.  I have been disappointed before by having the election not go the way I wanted it to and the world is still spinning.  Do I think this world is worse than it was how many ever years ago?  Yes, yes I do.  Do I think that this is something new under the sun?  No, no I do not.  I'm pretty sure if I had lived in the 60's I would have thought that was the end of times as well.

I am a Christian.  My hope, my future, my joy comes from the Lord.  You might not believe in God.  You might think that my beliefs make me naive or wrong.  Again, we would come to an argument and if you will look back, I don't like to argue.  I will not argue with you.  I have not walked your path.  I have not been dealt the hand that you have been dealt.  I too have been disappointed by other Christians, by the church.  I too have seen behind the veil and been disappointed by humans, but I will tell you that those disappointments have never come from God.  They have come from humans.  Silly, stupid, misinformed, sad, dejected humans.

It's okay you know..for us to disagree.  If we all had the same opinion on everything and did everything the same way what a boring world this would be.  There is a place for the brainiacs, for the free thinkers, there is a place for the habitually disorganized and the OCD organizers.  We all make up this crazy world that we live in and that's why it works.

Please understand this.  The God I serve is made of Love.  The pain that you may have felt or been dealt is not from him it is from the sin that is in this world.  God loves you, just as you are, not like some human is telling you you have to be.  Just as you are.

Band Geek and proud of it!!

It is fall.  My kids are both in middle school and I am hormonal.  I am reminiscing about my own childhood and I am contemplating something.  

I can remember my 8th grade year trying to decide whether I was going to stay in choir as I had always done or if I was going to try something new.  The color guard looked interesting to me and I knew nothing about it so I went for it.  I am so very glad I did and I am thankful for the life lessons and memories that came along with my band experience.  I was in color guard for two years and I was the drum major for two years.  I knew nothing of marching band prior to my experience, but I was quickly thrown in to the grueling painstaking repetitive hot practices that make up the half time marching band shows.  

They must learn to glide, not walk and play an instrument all whilst maintaining the overall visual picture that the audience gets to be wowed by.  If done correctly marching band is quite impressive.  

My son is playing football this year so I am experiencing football from a completely different perspective.  I am now watching from the perspective that these boys have put their blood, sweat and tears into hot practices to either protect or move the ball up and down the field.  To watch a child throw the ball down field and then see another player accurately catch and carry that same ball on down the field for a touchdown is also like music just a completely different song.  To see the defense stop their opponent also quite impressive.  

I could go through every single sport or activity that children pride themselves in learning or participating in and none is less than the other just different.  

Come friday night by all means cheer for that impressive catch or crazy long touch down but also instead of getting up during half time to get a snack or pee stay to watch the half time show.  Those kids have worked just as hard for their 15 min of fame they deserve your attention too.  Look for the Wow factor because I have to tell you I just watched a line of kids playing marimbas with two mallets in each hand.  You try to do that, you will be impressed or you are dead on the inside.  

Road Trip!!

This summer has been a busy one for my family.  We were on the road several times for long drives.  I get carsick so I am typically the one behind the wheel.  The kids have a movie to watch and my husband typically does work so I am happily left in my own little world to observe.  I love observing.  I wanted to share with you a few of my observations.  

1. Does anyone else think that the signs that say Bridge ices before road should at the very least be covered up in the summer time when we are close to or more than 100 degrees.  Every time I passed one of those signs it just made me think if this bridge is frozen somebody better figure out where Olaf and Elsa are.  

2.  I drive pretty fast.  I will go at least 5 miles above the speed limit to keep up with traffic.  Why are there always people that pass you as if you are sitting still?  I imagine that these are the drivers that still live at home in their parents basement playing video games all day thinking that if they crash into someone its okay they still have 3 more lives.  I guess I should count my blessings that they aren't playing Call of Duty.  

3.  PSA: If you people are passing you on the right YOU are the traffic problem.  

4. I've said it before, I will say it again.  When road signs say merge either left or right and you choose not to until the last minute because you are so much more important than everyone else that has chosen to follow the road signs.  I imagine that I am a giant and I pick up your car and throw it with you in it far far away from your current path causing you to be disoriented and late.  Not hurt, because that would be wrong.  

5.  Every time a trucker uses their jake brake it makes me giggle on the inside because it sounds like a fart.  A truck fart.  I am aware that this equates me to a pre-teen boy, in my defense I don't even start noticing it until about hour 5 of a trip.  

My kids have started back to school now.  I am already mourning the passing of Summer 2016.  What wonderful adventures we have in the summer time.  This summer has felt like when you walk outside you are walking into an oven, but it was still an oven with cookies in it because it was summer and summer is good.  Have a great day friends!  

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my 44th birthday.  I feel no different than I did yesterday.  I feel no different than I did 20 years ago.  I still have the strange sense of humor, highly recognizable laugh and extremely unfortunate resting face that I have always had.  This realization has brought a new perspective on others that I wanted to share with you this morning.

I am fully aware that my 44 year old self no longer has the vim and vigor that my 24 year old self once had.  I understand that as a married mother of two I am not turning heads and inspiring whistles.  The thing is I still feel like that same person.  On the inside nothing has changed.  I do not expect that you would take one look at me and judge my abilities from my outwardly appearance but we all do it.

We look at age or weight or appearance to define our opinion about a person's worth.  You assume that because someone is too young or too old that they are not able to contribute.  You assume that because some one is overweight that they are lazy and just not trying hard enough.  You assume that because someone is covered in tattoos or piercings that they must be scary and mean.  Wrong.  Wrong. Wrong.

Just because God blessed you with high metabolism, or you haven't been on this planet as long as someone else, or you haven't had the same experiences that someone else has had makes you no better and no worse.  We are all the same.  We all breathe the same air, need some sort of sustenance to survive, get some sort of rest be it however long, and we all eventually...die.

Wealth, beauty, age....all fleeting.  Dig deeper into those around you.  Have a conversation with someone not for a reason you are comfortable with but because you have never met someone that has a horn and you want to know why they have one!

I pray that my 44th year is a good one!  I pray that I have many more trips around the sun!  I pray that I am a blessing to anyone I meet.  Life is book.  Go out today and make yours a best seller!

So, who are you voting for?

Just kidding.  I don't want to know who you are voting for.  I have absolutely no interest in politics whatsoever.  If politics would go back to what they were supposed to be in this great countries infancy, which would be real regular people who took turns representing the wants and needs of their neighbors without getting power hungry and self centered then sure I would be all about politics, but its not like that any more.  Money and Power have made the politics of this country less than desirable.

The thing is though we are still a very good people.  We can come together and make great things happen.  Government doesn't teach you how to be neighborly.  Government doesn't give you your sense of charity and kindness.

I have a friend that had had a pretty horrible day.  Do you know what she did?  She went to a hospital and did an anonymous act of kindness to make sure people that were struggling would have a little bit of joy.  She didn't know those people.  She got no recognition for it.  She just did it because it was the right thing to do.

We are put on this planet to love one another.  We are put on this planet to be kind to one another.  Get over this power and glory thing and realize that life is much sweeter when you are kind and you are around people that are kind.

I will say that this election has done one positive thing for this country.  Since neither side is all that excited about their candidate the result is some pretty excellent memes and a common bond forged between both parties in the downward spiral!  That one about "Is your refrigerator running? Because I would vote for it!" one is gold I tell you!

Go out.  Be kind.  We will get through this.

Berniece.

I was waiting at the post office today in a long line.  I wasn't overly chatty so I observed.  There was an older woman in front of me that had the ear of the guy in front of her telling him all about the book she was writing and her life and pretty much non stop talking.  It was her turn and she didn't even notice.  The man in line behind her had to tell her to go ahead.

The gentleman that she had been talking to just kind of rolled his eyes behind her back and she went to her window.  It made me sad.

Berniece just wanted someone to talk to.  Someone to connect with.  Don't we all?

I read a story about a young mom whose son has autism and was so shocked that another mom was reaching out to her to include her son in a birthday party by being willing to do whatever in order to make the boy with autism comfortable.

Shouldn't we all be aware of the needs of those around us and adjust accordingly?  Why is it that it seems that everyone is so cynical?  Be proud to be caught being kind!  Be kind whether someone notices or not because its the right thing to do!

You are not always going to be perfect in your life don't you wish that people would show you mercy and grace when you mess up?  Shouldn't you extend that to others?

Berniece got done with her turn at the window and then seemed to be trying to be pretending to do something so that she could happen upon the man and finish her conversation with him.  He ignored her and left in a hurry.

This world sucks.  Go out and look for ways to make it better.  A smile and a friendly word goes a long way!  Go find your Berniece.

Perfect relationship.

A young, unmarried, childless friend of mine follows a twitter account called Perfect Relationship.  Every once in awhile she will retweet different aspects of a perfect relationship that she agrees with and desires.  I too can remember the idealistic attributes of a relationship that I dreamed of long ago before marriage.  However, at this point, almost 18 years into marriage and two kids later I realize that the things that unmarried individuals need to be looking for are way more basic.

The latest post was "I want someone that I can lie my head on his chest and fall asleep while he plays with my hair."  Ok.  Can I just say, that's not a spouse....that's a mother or a grandmother thing to do.

A perfect relationship can be equated to the perfect team.  Your spouse will be your teammate.  Sometimes they will have the ball and sometimes you will.  It isn't so much who is holding the ball as it is how well you are able to work together to play the game.

Here is a list of random traits to ponder your significant other's aptitude toward.

1. Do they have a high tolerance to bodily fluids not only from themselves and you but from others?
2. Do they feel responsible to provide for your relationship? This is not necessarily monetarily.
3. Are they are handy around the house?
4. Do they see tasks that need to be done and do them without asking or having to be asked?  Do they need praise for having done them?
5. Do they understand the "Laughter is the best medicine" theory?
6. Can they see when you need to be tagged out in parenting without making you feel guilty about it or making your children realize your weakness'?
7. Are their parents still married?  How is their relationship?  Is it one that you want to replicate?
8. Do they do little things for you?  Like they know your favorite candy bar or drink and they will bring you one randomly, or if you don't want to go the food route, do they know a chore that you are responsible for that you don't enjoy and they do it every so often without being asked?

A good relationship comes in many different packages.  We all have different likes and dislikes.  We all like to play different roles.  Finding an individual that is not only capable but also willing to put up with your good side and your bad side is not going to be easy.  Life gets hard.  A vomiting child at 2 in the morning when everyone just wants to sleep is a test that you don't get to take until way past the start of the race.  Make sure you select your teammate wisely.

People clearly don't care for what I'm serving up!

I have a very unfortunate resting face.  It makes me come across as stern and unapproachable.  If you know me you know that is completely not true and you walk right past the scary door into the land of happy go lucky.  However, there are many that do not bask in this knowledge and for that I apologize.

I went to a wedding on Saturday.  There were a few people there that I am pretty sure were under the curse of the misperception.  Well, two of them anyway.  One of them just straight up doesn't like me and I decided long ago that there are just going to be people in this world that don't have a palette for what you are putting out there and that is totally ok!  It doesn't mean you aren't on someone else's menu it just means you aren't on theirs.  Come to terms with it and move on.

Why is it that we feel like we have to please everyone?  Why is it that we allow others to influence our joy in a negative way?

My husband spotted two of the individuals right off and said Hey!  Look!  It's those people that don't like you.  Now.  I just want to say.  One also does not need to allow everything that comes to ones mind to come out ones mouth.  I am well aware of the haters I don't need to have it reiterated.  Some things are better left unsaid, but that is another entry entirely.

I will admit I traveled down the path of self loathing and discontent.  I allowed myself to think that there was not a soul on this planet that cared for the quirky sense of crazy I offer up to the universe on a daily basis.  I mean if you must know I have relatives that don't care for it.

I snapped out of it pretty quickly when I realized I was having fantastic time seeing the beautiful faces of friends I haven't seen in decades, and laughing with a friend as we took silly pictures of ourselves to send to a friend that couldn't make it.  I met new people that were friendly and outgoing and blissfully unaware of all the weird I was holding back!

Every morning you wake up you have thousands of choices.  Live your life like a giant scavenger hunt to find joy.  There are going to be days when it is much harder to find but it is always there.

I am thankful for you my friends.  Thank you for braving my unfortunate resting face and dancing in the land of crazy!

She is getting married!!!

Almost 3 years ago I wrote about a friend of mine that was tired of answering the questions of why she had never gotten married.  This weekend she gets to show off the man that she was waiting for.  The perfect for her happily ever after man that God had planned for her.  I am thrilled to be able to go and witness this blessed event and I just wanted to touch on once again how important it is to be still and wait.  

I scrolled back through messages that she and I had shared and I found one that I find is excellent advice and yes it is my advice and yes I am saying that something I came up with is excellent.  I want you to know that my friend has a highly intelligent head on her shoulders and did not need my advice, but I am always willing to share my advice especially if I feel I can make someone laugh.  

She had been asked out by someone that she wasn't sure about going out with.  I imagined that she was struggling with the decision and thought that maybe she should investigate every opportunity to find wedded bliss.  Again, I want to reiterate she was more likely than not perfectly firm in her convictions but here was my response to her situation....  

How about an analogy?  You are on a world tour. You are experiencing the finest delicacies and sights this world has to offer. You are on a journey that leads to genuine joy and true happiness. You get hungry and decide to stop at the It'll do cafe for week old meatloaf in Podunk, backwoods America.  You get food poisoning and die a slow painful death.

Being single is not the worst thing that could happen to you.  I will add that being in a difficult relationship is not the worst thing that could happen to you either.  Happiness is a choice!  Get out there and live your life because you only get one!!  

Allergies

I have a real issue with something.

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that it isn't legitimate.  I can remember standing in the parking lot of my kids school listening to another mother rant over how the only thing her daughter would eat was peanut butter and she wasn't going to allow her child to starve just because some kid in her kid's class was allergic to peanuts.

My filter broke that day.  I let the woman have it, whereas I am normally quite reserved.  "Let me get this straight.  There is a child that if he ingests peanut butter will go into shock and die, but because your child will not eat anything other than peanut butter this child's life doesn't matter?  How about just the bread will your child eat just the bread?  That way no one has to die."

I'm not saying it was my finest hour but it sure made me feel better.

I am allergic to artificial sweeteners.  If you were to look at me you would probably think I need to cut back on sugar in order to lose weight.  Now, I'm not saying that isn't somewhat true but my problem lies more so with a non-functioning thyroid than it does with sugar, but thank you for your concern.

People are always trying to "healthify" their recipes by taking the sugar out.  Can I just say adding a chemical to your baking does not make it healthier.  Sugar, in moderation, is way better than chemicals created in a lab to make things sweet.  In my personal situation, even some natural sweeteners will cause me to have a headache, but if I get a hold of some artificial sweeteners it is full on migraine.

If you do not have allergies, be ye thankful!  It doesn't mean that those of us that do have allergies aren't as fabulous as you it just means we are different from you.

Mainly if you are a big restaurant chain and you are going to change a sauce that you have used since like forever and you don't deem it necessary to tell the general public.  Shame on you.

Get up and try!!!

I have read parts of a news item where a woman was lost on the Appalachian trail and sat down to wait for someone to rescue her.  She sat and waited for over a month and died in her sleeping bag inside her tent.   I can not wrap my mind around this story!  Who spends a month starving to death waiting for someone to come and rescue them?  Why on earth wouldn't you at the very least follow the sun and stay west or east or whatever direction you are going.  Walk until your legs won't walk any more and die of exhaustion but don't just give up and hope that someone else will save you!!!

Is there a situation in your life right now that you are waiting for someone else to "fix"?  Something that is causing you to be stagnant and slowly starve to death?  Stop it!!!

God gave you a brain and God gave you talents!  Get out there and fix whatever it is!  You were created for a purpose and if you don't serve your purpose no one else can because they are too busy serving their own purpose.  Feel the rush of empowerment flow over you!  You can do it!  You might feel weak, you might get off course but you can't just sit down and give up because with that you will die, maybe not literally but on the inside.  You are special!  Get out there and show the world why you were put on this planet!!

You paid what for that?

So here's the thing.  I could care less how much you pay for stuff.  If you want to pay $200 for a pair of jeans because you like the quality or the fit or the way the bling sparkles on your butt have at it!  It genuinely makes no difference to me.  I realize that sometimes name brands are indeed much better than their off brand counterparts, but sometimes they're not and I am not the type of person that thinks a tag makes it better.

Which brings me to why I'm writing about this in the first place...

Today, I met a gentleman whilst waiting for my husband to park the car.  We were at our respective daughters soccer game waiting for it to start.  He had on sunglasses.  I had on sunglasses both seemed to be serving the purpose.

He starts telling me about his sunglasses in a very awkward conversation transition kind of way.  You know like we were talking about what time the girls game started and who they were playing and he said speaking of sunglasses my Maui Jims were stolen, and that is why I am having to wear these Coach ones.  I want to insert here stolen is a very large stretch.  I know this because he told me the entire story.  They fell off his head and he didn't notice.  He has an elaborate tale about how he is sure that someone bumped into him whilst a 3rd party snatched them.  Whatever dude you laid them down and now those extremely expensive sunglasses are gone end of story.  He also added how he has to travel a lot for his job and how many perks he receives and blah blah blah I think the girls game started bye bye now!

What is it with people?  I will not pay a ton for sunglasses because I sit on them, or I leave them places or I drop them in my purse and the lens pops out.  It is how I am I have come to terms with it.  If this guy sits on his sunglasses it hurts a lot more  in more ways than one!

What happened to talking about the weather?   I don't want to know what kind of job you have or what kind of car you drive or how much anything that is covering your body cost.  Unless any of those topics are going to make me laugh then by all means, talk away.

So, the next time you are making conversation with a complete stranger remember 2 things.  One, you have no clue if this person you are talking to is going to write a blog about you and number two you are way more interesting than your stuff.

Mom awards!

Good Morning!  I am so very excited that it is the morning of the last day of school for my kiddos.  The only thing they have left is an awards ceremony.  You know the one where they give out the awards for best at math, best in social studies,  and over all fantastic individual?

Well, I was thinking as I often do why don't they have an award for parents?  I'm not asking for the stuff that people already get praised for I'm talking about ones for the parents that are barely holding on on this the last day of school.  So, here is my humble request for a few realistic awards that I would like to see, not trophies, instead spa and restaurant gift certificates for.  A trophy I would just have to dust and we all know how horrible I am at that so something I'm going to actually use.  Here goes.


Least number of calls to the front office with questions, requests, or special accommodations  for ones child.
Most number of forgotten items caught before ones offspring left the house in the first place.
Largest filter - As in this individual will not have called everyone and told them exactly how they feel about every little thing that has gone wrong complaining.  The opposite offender of this award should have to rub this persons feet.
Perfect attendance (A side note: this person must have NO speeding tickets that would relate to the drop off experience)
Most miles driven to accommodate ones child's education.  (This does not include after school activities that is a different awards ceremony entirely.)
Most controlled behavior in the pick up line.
The two most important awards should be Biggest smile and Loudest laugh!

Now, everyone enjoy a cold beverage, put on some sandals and enjoy that summer sun!!!

pitty party

I have found myself on the other end of needing help lately.  As in, I have needed someone to help me. I am not a very good receiver.  I would much rather be the giver any day of the week.  I have found, however, that apparently givers are rare, or at least they have been in my need situations.  The part that is frustrating is that in no less that 4 situations that come quickly to mind I had gone above and beyond just recently.  Please do not read this as I am expecting something for the favor that I did for these people, that is not at all why I did the things I did.  I did the things I did because I wanted to help.  I expected nothing.  I still expect nothing, and I did not bring up to these people the fact that they should return the favor as there was no favor to be returned.

It isn't until I sit here in my state of need and think about it that it frustrates me.  In some cases, the favor that I needed paled in comparison to the favor that I had bestowed upon them.  How very frustrating it is to feel that you were used, or taken advantage of.

Heres the thing.  Like I said I did not do these things for praise or for recognition or even for something in return.  I did these things because I feel God has blessed me many times over and I am to serve his people lovingly and without reservation.

I have figured out all of my issues without the help of these people and while the cynical part of me thought for just a second how very nice it would be for them to need my assistance again so that I could turn them down, the real me knows that I shouldn't think like that.  I should remain positive, I should remain kind, I should remain loving.  I should get over my pettiness and serve God's people.

My husband comforted me by saying Jesus didn't want to die on the cross for our sins, he didn't want to take on God's wrath but he did and aren't we all glad he didn't say Sucks to be you!

So I will go out, and I will put on my smile, and I will get over my frustrations and I will be thankful that Jesus loved me enough to go above and beyond and I will strive to do the same.

Donna

My mother had one sister that was 5 years her elder, her name was Betty.  My Aunt Betty married early and had 4 children pretty soon thereafter, okay, technically she had three children pretty soon thereafter and then she had my cousin David way later.

My mother on the other hand got married later in life and then struggled to have children so long story short my eldest cousin has children that are closer to my age than my cousin is.

My cousin Rick married a girl named Donna that he met early on and they were married half way through college.  He lost her this past week.  Not as in he can't find her, he knows exactly where she is, as in cancer is a hateful beast and it took her from him.

We all had dinner the night of the receiving of friends and he said how he didn't know why she married him.  I have an answer for that but I tend to be way more eloquent when I write rather than when I speak so let's see if I can do a better job now than I did that night.

Someone once advised me before I got married that I needed to look for the man that I didn't feel like I deserved, but to make sure that he also felt like he didn't deserve me and then to spend the rest of our lives trying to prove to that person that we were the only one for them.

Rick and Donna were like that.  She is a happy smiling bottle of joy.  Rick is a little more reserved.  He is technical.  She is creative.  They both had their strengths and both had their weaknesses and together they made the perfect whole.

Marriage is hard.  Marriage is two individuals with two separate life paths forging together to make one bonded whole.  If you want a good marriage you have to figure out how to still maintain your individuality all while creating the whole that is your relationship.   The two individuals were created by God for a purpose.  The hard part of marriage comes when you must find that balance of individual and couple.  

Serve your spouse.  Love your spouse.  Love them even more than you love yourself.  Do not expect the same from them it is not a competition.  Do these things for your spouse because you realize that marriage is hard work.  Do these things because you value your marriage, and want to make it the best you can.  Your spouse is a gift that was given to you by God. 

My cousin lost his wife way too early.  They still have a ton of life to live together.  God had a different plan.  Rick and Donna were a unit.  A team.  The life that they created is not a light that has been put out because Donna died.  It is a fire that has just started, and will continue to burn for generations to come.  She will be greatly missed.

Today...I was a refugee.

I do realize that my little 6 hour jaunt into the unknown was absolutely nothing like being a refugee but hear me out because today gave me a new appreciation for the things that I have and the things that are readily available to me.

My husband lost his father a little over 14 years ago.  My father in law loved planes.  He loved everything about planes, he even worked for Delta.  My husband and his father had gone to an air show in Knoxville years ago and that air show was coming back this weekend.  We knew that the Blue Angels would be performing so this has been on our calendar for quite awhile.  We left with plenty of time to get to the show but that is where things went south....insert creepy music.

What should have taken us 20 minutes took us 3 hours because of traffic, bumper to bumper, less than 5 mile an hour traffic.  After finally getting to the parking lot, which was more so a field with a bunch of cars in it parked every which way and no one directing traffic what so ever, we finally started walking to the show.  Thousands of people joined us on our 30 min trek from parking lot to show.

My daughter is a tiny little thing.  If that girl misses a meal she will blow away, because of the traffic she is now 2 hours past when she should of eaten, and because of the rules that the show had announced I had no food on me to give to her.  She is looking like she could pass out at any moment, we continued on our quest.

We arrived to where the crowds were, and I heard people complaining how everything had an hour and a half wait to get food.  I again felt helpless.  I witnessed the lines to the restroom I thought my word we are going to die here.

Now.  We are fine.  We walked a little further into the craziness and found a pretzel cart that we purchased the last 3 items they had on the entire cart and she ate that.  We walked a little farther and there was a hot dog stand that was only a few deep in line so we all enjoyed hot dogs and drinks.  We found a nice place to set up our chairs to watch the show and other than a little sun burn we are no worse for the wear.

The getting back to the car, while just as tedious was less stressful because I wasn't worried that my baby girl was going to eat concrete, and getting out and back to civilization only took about 30 min.  There was one incident where the men in the family jumped out of the car for drinks but we aren't going to talk about that, I'm just putting it here for posterity.

It made me think how reliant I am on others to provide me with my basic necessities.  I realized that without a grocery store or restaurant, I'm not eating.  It made me sympathize with real refugees who have lost everything to protect their families.  As we walked in a giant herd we were watched over by the military every few feet.  Now, they were there merely for crowd control but it just as well could have been that they had guns and were forcing us to walk somewhere.

I am thankful for all of the blessings in my life.  I am thankful that I live in this beautiful country that I live in, and I am most thankful that I am the daughter of a King that is bigger than all of this.

Now, who can help me start a garden and get me some chickens?

Here's the thing...

You know how somedays you start out thinking you are going to do ABC and you end up doing XYZ?  It isn't that this is a bad thing but your to do list didn't get to done.  Well, today was one of those days.

Stuff just kept popping up and taking me in different directions and there just was not time to do a few things that in retrospect I probably should of put a little more priority to, but I have a few thoughts....

I knew that I had my nephew's school play tonight.  It has been on my calendar.  6:30 friday night.  I was well aware that I needed to be there, I wanted to be there.  I also wanted to do AB and C and if at all possible LMNOP.  

Everything was going swimmingly.  I had 15 minutes to get to my nephews program and it only takes 4 to drive there.  A...shower.  I forgot to shower.  When one is going to be in a crowd of people and one knows that one has become quite ripe with ones various activities one should have a plan B when it comes to the showering.  Silly me thought Oh, I'm fine.  No one will notice.  The problem with this theory?  I NOTICED!!!   I sat myself on the very back row away from everyone and barely spoke for fear of offending the tender.  

This brought me to a thought.  I bet some people thought I was being anti social, snobby, better than thou ( although I have to say foul was a better description.)  Could not be further from the truth!  Do not assume that you know a full story when you are only looking at the cover!  It just might be a really bad cover!  It might be one of those covers with the shirtless long haired man on a horse and it could totally be a cookbook!  You have no idea until you get past the cover and delve into the pages.  Now, I'm warning you.  The pages are going to smell from time to time, but slap some Vicks vapor rub on your upper lip and jump into the story.  You might actually find something or someone new that you really enjoy.  

P.S. If we spoke tonight, especially if I hugged you....We tight!  

Little white lies.

My son and husband were upset with one another this morning.  My son was running late and my husband told him that he could not style his hair.  My son did it anyway and told my husband that he didn't.  Well.  Hello.  You have gel in your hair dude it's pretty obvious.  So my husband got upset for having been lied to.

We got in the car and I asked my son why did you lie to your daddy?  He said I didn't.  I said you did.  He said no, I didn't style my hair I never touched the hair dryer or brush I just put gel in my hair.  See what he did there?  I said son, you knew what daddy meant therefore it was a lie, now, it was a half truth you did not technically style your hair but you were well aware of what daddy meant.  Right? Right.  So, now you have lost a little bit of your daddy's trust because you lied to him and he knew you were lying do you understand?  Yes, but!!!

Why is there always a but?  He had his reasons.  His reasons were extremely valid.  Had he explained his reasons to his father I am positive my husband would have let him accomplish his task and probably would have even helped him.

Why is it that our knee jerk instinct is to lie?  Cover up?  Mislead?  Why are we so prone to make ourselves look better, perfect, faultless?  I would much rather you tell me the truth to my face, even if it hurts, than to know you are lying to me.  My closest and dearest friends that have stayed that way for years have at one point or another either hurt me or shocked me by their honesty.

I don't need to hear what you think I want to hear.  I want to hear what I need to hear.  What is the problem?  The issue?  How can I fix it?  If I don't know there is a problem how on earth am I ever going to learn so I can fix it?  A true friend wants their friends to succeed.  A true friend will put your achievements on the same plane as their own.

I explained to my child why his father was upset and he understood.  I explained to my husband why my son did what he did, he understood.  Understanding breeds harmony.   Harmony is a good thing.  Go out there and be kind.  Realize that we are all flawed.  Give mercy...Give grace.

Who are the least of these?

I have probably already written about this because it is just one of those topics that sticks in my head.  I have witnessed several situations lately where the individuals were extremely proud of themselves for going out of their way to bless "the least of these".   I just have one problem with this.  What determines that someone is a "least of these"?

Money?  Does one assume that because you are wealthy and others aren't that anyone who doesn't have as much money as you do is a least of these?  That seems silly to me because while money can indeed help alleviate the stress that comes with paying bills or buying the things that one wants it can also bring the uncertainty of not knowing who your true friends are and also bring the stress of keeping up the lifestyle that you have placed yourself in.

Popularity?  If I do not have a crowd of people around me does this make me a least of these?  I don't have tons of friends so I am not worthy?  What if I don't have tons of friends because I take friendship very seriously and I am sensitive to the fact that there are only so many hours in a day and if I want to be a true friend that invests myself into a friendship I have to set limits.  I'm not talking about  acquaintances I'm talking about close spill your guts out, don't worry about what they are going to think about you friendships.

Job?  If my position is that of service therefore I am not as good as you are?  What if I don't want to be a doctor or a lawyer?  What if God placed on my heart to serve people?  What if I want a job that at the end of the day I leave and the job stays within the hours of 9 to 5 and there is not stress that invades my home life, my family?

Do not assume yourself to be better than someone else.  Do not look down upon someone because of your assumptions.  You have no clue how happy or unhappy they are with their life.  If things were stripped away from all of us and we were left naked and alone wherein would you find your happiness?  Would you be able to be happy without things?  Without people?

Be content with yourself.  Do not create a levels system that you evaluate those around you and mentally place them accordingly.   Go about your day trying to make this world a better place just because it is the right thing to do and not because of how people will perceive you or praise you.  Go out and just be kind.

Have a blessed day?

I have a new phrase that's annoying me.  "Have a blessed day."  What does that even mean?  Are you going to then in turn somehow bless this person so that you can assure your statement will come true?

I just read it in what was for all practical purposes an argument and then they ended their "discussion" with Have a blessed day.

Are you sure? How about try not to let the rest of your day be crappy because I was a jerk just now.

We are all blessed.  Blessed far beyond measure how about making your new catch phrase something that is achievable on your part?  How about "Enjoy your day! or Congratulations on that being alive thing you are rocking!  How about You breathe all that oxygen you can now!

It might be the cynical side of me but when someone says "I'm praying for you!" I always wonder if they really are or is it just something you say when you don't know what else to say?  If I say I am praying for you I stop right there and say a prayer because hello!!  God knows you are lying and you are breaking one of the top ten?  I say no thank you!

Anyhoo.  I will come down off of my soapbox.  I hope your digestive systems are all working properly!

Joy breeder.

I'm learning something about myself.  Laughter and being around people who enjoy laughter is like oxygen to me.  If I don't get my daily dose of it I turn into a sad pathetic individual that is solely focused on my own loneliness and not the task for which I was put on this earth to do.  (Just so we are clear I am not 100% sure what that actually is yet but I digress...)

The thing is when you are giving to others and not filling yourself up you get empty really quickly.  I just don't know how to balance the two things.  I love being able to take my children to practices of whatever kind and performances of all things sports and theatrical.  I love baking things for my children and hearing about their day.  I love having a meal on the table when my husband gets home and we all sit around our table and talk about our day.  It's just I would, on some occasions, like to be the lead role and not the supporting actor.  I should have warned you I am in a very self centered place right now.  I have been a stay at home mom for almost 14 years.  Mama is a bit spent.

Whoa is me.  Poor pitiful me.  Me!  Me! Me!  I hate it when I get into this funk.  I read a meme the other day that said "Yes, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...It's also fake".  Too many times we compare ourselves to the appearance of that which we assume is going on around us.    

I will yet once again go back to my mother's excellent advice of if you are feeling down go out and cheer someone else up.  It is amazing what it will do for your own spirit.  We are in the middle of a cold winter.  Seasonal depression is a very real disease.    Go out, do 30 minutes of cardio 5 days a week.  Do something nice for someone else without expecting anything in return.  The reality is that we are all very blessed and we must find that which brings us joy and not wait for it to drop in our laps.

Go out and perform acts of kindness that start a chain reaction of joy.  We all could use a little joy.

You just never know...

Long ago when I was in college a most troubling event happened in my world.  The man that was my youth minister while I was in high school was under attack.  This man was radical.  He didn't follow the typical beat and he got results.  The many hearts he reached was amazing.  I am a rule follower so some of the time I didn't agree with the way he got his results but I was never surprised by the outcome.  He is truly a man of God.

The troubling part came when my then boyfriend, now husband and I found out that this man was being asked to resign from our home church.  This was ridiculous to us.  We wanted answers.  The long and short of it was that the youth minister was allowing a man with a questionable background to volunteer and the elders did not want to endanger the youth and had asked the youth minister to not use this individual.  The youth minister refused and therein the problem.

My boyfriend, now husband went to the elders he argued for our beloved youth minister.  I spoke to my father who was an elder we were unable to do anything.  So our youth minster resigned and moved on.  He didn't want to go, the youth did not want him to go it was such a depressing time of misunderstanding and pain.

Fast forward to today.  This same man, our old youth minister has now moved to a bigger city and created a large inner city youth program that is flourishing and reaching thousands of people.  God is using him on such a larger scale than he could have even dreamed back then.  Had he stayed at our home church who knows what he would be up to.  I have no doubt that God would be using him but had he not been ripped out of his comfort zone it wouldn't be the adventure he is on today!

I have personally recently been ripped from a comfort zone.  I thought I was using my talents as God would have me to use them and yet my little volunteer world has been turned upside down.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster the last few weeks of feeling betrayed, hurt, lost, friendless, offended, all the negative adjectives.

This is what I know.  God has a plan for my life.  It may not be a huge plan, but it is somewhere he wants me to be.  My prayer is that he will place me on the right path and that I will follow it.  God is good all the time, we just can't see the big picture like he does and in case you have forgotten we live in a fallen world.

He is preparing a place for us.  He will be back.