It's ok to say no.

You know.  It's ok to say no.  

Especially if you do not have time to do something and you are only going to be able to half do a job leaving others in your wake frustrated and annoyed.  While it is noble to volunteer, know your limitations.  If you are doing something for your resume, or for the glory or because you want the praise remember if you do not have the time to do the job adequately praise is not what people will be handing out and if you then in turn mess with other people's experience.....Well, bless your heart.  

If you are not from the South I want to inform you of something.  Bless your heart is not necessarily a term of endearment. In fact, in some cases it is actually a very nice way to say stupid or a few other choice phrases that I shall refrain from.  

I'm dealing with this situation right now and to be quite honest it is my own stubborn nature that is not fixing the situation.  Well, that and nobody asked me to fix it.  People are more than okay to just let the train wreck happen because it is way more interesting and gives them something to talk about.  

I have a friend.  She has it all together.  Her house is clean.  Her calendar is impeccable.  She is able to maintain a home a job and volunteering because that is how her personality is.  God blessed her with that gift.  

You know what?  God blessed you with something that he didn't bless someone else with.  You have to know what you are capable of and find the glory in that!  Don't pretend to be something you are not.  If you aren't a good multi-tasker find one thing that you enjoy and are good at and go crazy with that!  It isn't a bad thing.  

God made us all different and we will go together like one perfect puzzle if we will just realize our strengths and go with those!  Oh, and be nice to one another.  No one likes it when you're hateful....Bless your heart!

Thou shalt not covet!

A friend of mine said something to me this morning that made me think.  So, of course, I have to run and sit in the big blue chair for a second because I think it might make you think too.

When was the last time you were in the middle of a fight with your husband and you said to him...."Wait a second honey, I want to take a picture of this very moment so I can remember it forever." or when your child is throwing a fit in the grocery store on a day that you are already past your boiling point and the little old lady is giving you that, "she is a horrible mother" look?  How about when you wake up in the morning and you have goo on your face and you look like a cross between some unknown 80's rocker and Phyllis Diller?

Would you then post that loud and proud on Facebook and tell the world about it?  No, of course you wouldn't.  We wouldn't want the world to think we are....NORMAL...now would we??!!!  

No one's life is perfect.  If you were to talk to the most beautiful woman in the world who has the perfect husband and perfect kids and perfect house and all the money in the world, and she were to be perfectly honest with you she would have something that she wasn't happy with.  It's human nature!  It's what makes us what we are.  If we were all satisfied all the time we would never seek or happen upon change and if we never seek or happen upon change this world would be pretty stagnant and boring.

What does your life look like?  Have you been married for 20 years and you are bored with your relationship, your kids don't need you anymore and you feel like an elephant sat on your face?

Are you still single after trying to find "the perfect spouse" for years and you don't understand what happened to them along life's way?

Are you divorced and trying to find someone to share your life with and the best your coming up with is someone who has good teeth?

Step back a second.  Realize this.  Your contentment has to come from within.  God wants you to realize that he is enough.  You need nothing else in this world but him and to covet a life that someone else has is only saying that you are not content with your own.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  The mother of 4 small children under the age of 5 covets the woman with no kids and an excellent career because she would like just two seconds to herself.  The career woman who's prince charming is yet to be found and longs for a family of her own would give up her career in a heartbeat if only she could find Mr. Right and the picket fence house.  It is perfectly normal to want that which you don't have.  It is what inspires change, but be completely honest with yourself would you really give up the life that you have for what you think is best or would you rather have what God knows is best for you?

Enjoy your life.  Enjoy the many different stages that God is blessing you with.  Those children will not be around forever enjoy them while they are.  If your "someone special" has yet to arrive enjoy the life that you do have and realize you have complete freedom to do whatever you want to do without having to consider anyone else!

Live your life, enjoy it!  Thank God for it.  Appreciate all of the many blessings that have been laid before you and go out today and make someone else's day.  Take a picture of the smile you put on their face and put that on Facebook!  Have a wonderful day my sweet friends!  You are enough and you are fabulous!

Random acts of kindness

Ok.  So I'm finally caught up with my Ellen Degeneres viewing.  I had set the DVR to record her show and over the holidays I had gotten way behind.  Typically, Ellen and I have lunch together, well, I have lunch she entertains me.

I want to talk about my observation.  Ellen is very good at making people happy.  Not just because she is a comedian and laughter is an excellent source of medicine to this down world, but also the way she selects persons in need and grants their wishes.  Now, you could be very cynical and wonder if they are just playing her for her generosity but don't go there.  Maybe they are but don't allow yourself to be so jaded by the way a few can be and simply think of what you are watching as a genuine act of goodwill.

Ellen is able to grant such lavish wishes on her viewers because of her wealth and the sponsors of her show, but I was thinking.  Wouldn't the world be a better place if more of us learned a lesson from Ellen and spread random acts of kindness around our own worlds.

Have you ever bought a gift card and mailed it to someone without telling them who you are?  Maybe you don't like the idea of being anonymous.   How about you know someone likes a certain thing for a snack and you bring that to them on a random Wednesday?  You say you don't have extra money and are barely scraping by to begin with.  Ok.  What if you figure out a job that others around you always hate to do and take it upon yourself to make sure it is done?  Replace toilet paper rolls, sort socks, organize the junk drawer?  You say you have loads of money just laying around waiting to be used?  Well, then make it your days task to find a person who is truly in need and supply that need.  Make it a game!

It isn't difficult to think of ways that you can make the world around you better for others.  Go out into your world today with the mindset that you are going to make it better.  Don't focus on any negatives.  Focus on making the world a better place.

Start by putting a smile on your face and refuse to take it off unless of course it becomes one of those creepy smiles that looks less like you are happy and more like you are going to kill someone.  Take that off and go home.  No one needs a psychopath walking around.

Bring on the joy!!  God loves you and so do I!

Respect

Did you know that there is a difference between demanding respect and commanding respect?

If you demand respect i.e. screaming and yelling at people in order to get your point across not listening to their perspective simply militantly enforcing your authority and power and refusing to listen to possible other avenues to be explored that may or may not be more effective.  Then you are a tyrant.

If you command respect, then from your position of authority that you have been placed in for whatever reason you can clearly see that the people that you are responsible for are not idiots and they all clearly have the intelligence to complete any task and just might be able to bring a fresh idea that is way better than what you are thinking.

This does not make your employee or underling or whatever better than you it just makes you smart for having hired them.  Giving your subjects creative liberties is not a bad thing.

I am tired of individuals thinking that yelling accomplishes anything other than hurt feelings and discontent in the workplace.

I worked for a man once who I still remember as the best boss I ever had.  I can't tell you exactly what he did as I look back on it other than walking around the office asking if everything was going ok and could he do anything to make our world run smoother and of course attend meetings.

The only time I heard him raise his voice was when a Vice President from another department had yelled at a person from our group.  You would have thought him to be the mama bear in this situation.  He all but punched the man asserting his authority over the situation and the drama was over as fast as it had begun.

If you are using anger in order to get your point across is it really all that effective?  Are you sure?  Because happy underlings are the best asset a company can have whether that is an industrial company, an office or retail setting or be it a home.  Yes, home, if all both parents or one of the parents ever do is yell in order to get their point across or if they are extremely quick to anger in any situation is that really a good thing?

Assess your own personality today, if you are quick to anger I want to encourage you to choose your battles.  The sound of your screams will get old and will only cause to build up walls in places that they need not be.