A letter of apology for some of the things I have done.

I have to say the fact that we are now digging into people's long buried past and pulling out their skeletons to parade around for all to see and crucifying them for things that they may or may not have done is troubling at best.

It was 30 years ago.  It was a different world.  There was a lot of hairspray.  Bad choices were made.

I have a list of things that I would like to apologize for.

I would like to apologize for the hole that I put in the ozone with the amount of hairspray that I used in order to make my bangs stay "just so".  I apologize.

I would like to apologize to the fly who lost his life by flying into said bangs and not being able to get out because he was trapped in a maze of sticky hair.  I apologize.

I would like to apologize for the one time that I wore a bikini.  I have seen the pictures.  It was wrong.  I apologize.

I would like to apologize for my highly unfortunate resting face,  my HURF as it were, I am not a very outgoing person in situations that I am not comfortable so pretty much the high school years there is more than likely an entire section of the population that assumes me to be a very angry individual.  I apologize.

I would like to apologize for my favorite pair of jeans in high school that were more like skin than they were fabric.  They were a bad choice.  I have seen the error my ways.  I apologize.

There are a lot of things I would like to do different in my life, but I can never go back, only forward.  See the error of your ways and move on.  Apologize if need be.  Make right the wrongs.  Learn from it.  Regrets do nothing but steal joy.  You can't do anything about what happened but you can allow the life lesson to effect the way you live your life.

Go out...Be kind.

Put your back into it!

I am concerned for our country.  It seems that people that are unqualified to hold public office are being voted in because they are popular, cool, good with social media.  I feel that if you are going to hold public office you should have to be able to pass a test first.  You know how they make you pass a test to become a citizen?  Well, that, only like that on steroids. Like you have to be able to name all the capitols of all of the countries and their leaders and why their leaders are important and what their leaders are allergic to and why you don't want to tick them off or how you could tick them off if you offered them chicken.  Being a politician is not just a role to be taken lightly.  It isn't about me me me, it is about how can we make the world work together so we don't all blow each other up.  It is not being the parents that buy your kid drugs and beer because they want them, it is being the parent that says drugs are bad and here is why and here is a picture of what happens to your lungs if you smoke and now write a paper on how nicotine effects your colon.

My husband is one of these people.  I would 100% vote for him but he would never run want to know why?  People.  People are annoying.  If we continue to bully our politicians rather than support them this world is going to hell in a handbasket.  I'm not saying let them do whatever they want.  I'm saying put the people into office that stand for what you stand for.  Don't just tell them what they are doing bad. Tell them what they are doing good.  Be active in your freedom.

This world is not going to get better if we expect that we vote and then everything will get fixed.  We have to put in the elbow grease.  We have to help our fellow man.  We have to see a problem and fix it NOT TAKE A PIC OF IT AND COMPLAIN THAT NOTHING IS BEING DONE ALL OVER SOCIAL MEDIA!!!  Get out of your armchair quarterback position and put your back into it.  This world is not going to get fixed in Washington.

Go out...Be kind.

What am I going to be when they grow up?

All I ever wanted to be in my life was a mom.  Oh sure, I got my college degree, I had a job.  I had my own life but even when I was working people would tell me "You are going to be a great mom!"  I was drawn toward kids.  I loved them and was silly and cartoonish enough to not frighten the crap out of them.
I was 29 when I had my first child and 31 when I had my last.  I have loved every stage of motherhood.  I have to say it is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done.  It isn't easy to give up yourself for another human being especially when they don't know how much they should be appreciating it.
Would I do anything differently?  Absolutely!  I wouldn't do it so differently that I didn't end up with the two humans that I have been blessed with, however, because they are pretty fantastic.  It is what we are aiming to do as parents, right?  To create humans that are an honorable addition to society?
The thing is, they are about to be done with high school.  They will go off to college and start their own lives that they do not need me meddling in and if I have done my job right they certainly won't want me to do every little thing for them.  So, what is to become of me now?
The job I once had is no longer of interest to me it just seems so frivolous and without merit.  I want to do great things but my degree is 25 years old and outdated, antiquated even.  I do still love small children don't get me wrong but I am old and tired.
Do I go back to school?  Seems daunting.  Start a youtube channel about my crazy life? Too boring. I am sitting here looking at the next stage of my life with absolutely no idea what it's going to look like.  In years past at least I could say these are the grades my kids are going to be in, this is where I am going to be working, this is who my circle of friends will be.  Not so much with this next step.
It will all be fine.  It is most definitely a lesson in trust.  I am confident that God can use this mess of a human to do something for the kingdom.  I am just feeling a little overwhelmed by it today.  So, remember baby steps.  Keep moving forward.  We are all just trying to get to the finish line.  Most importantly...Go out...Be kind!

It takes more than that.

If you have come to a stage in your life where you have allowed the pounds to creep up around your mid section and body fat is by far greater than muscle mass you might know a fun fact.  One can not just buy a lean trim body.  You have to eat things that make you sad and exercise far more than is typically natural to do so.  It also doesn't happen over night.  You have to be consistent and it will take time.  You will find that if you look at a cookie you will gain 5 pounds and you will get frustrated and if you do not persevere you will not be successful.  It's as simple as that.  You can not just invest your money you must also invest your time.  

It is the same with life.  Do you walk in to a restaurant and hand your server a $20 bill and expect that they know what you want?  Your food will just magically appear on the table before you? No, that's ridiculous you of course must tell her what you want first and then she will bring you your order, you will eat it, pay, and leave.  You have to play an active role.  

How about dating/marriage?  Do you walk up to someone you find attractive and say ok we are married now.  No, of course not, Well.  Ok.  Some cultures do, but not most.  You have to have common interests,.  You date, you fight, you make up, you decide that this person is who you are willing to be selfless for and you start a life with them.  You invest yourself into the relationship so that it can be made better.  If you simply invest money and not time the connection will not be a solid one.  

You have to be an active player in the world around you if you want it to be better.  You can not simply look at the bad things that are happening and expect them to get better.  You have to invest of yourself in them.  You have to give of your time and your money to make the world a better place.  

Go out...Be kind.