A friend recently received some life changing news. She has breast cancer in both breasts and is in need of a double masectomy.
Now, I am the type of person that ALWAYS uses humor to cheer my people up. I have thought all day about what I could do or say to take her mind off of the inevitable. I thought about going the route of "Why is it that men don't have a mammogram equivalent? They could call it the Manogram and squish their boys." However, this made me cringe more than it did laugh. I mean everyone knows that women handle pain a lot better than men do and while mammograms hurt we have already had our girls yanked on in so many different ways that it just doesn't seem as bad as squishing the family jewels.
Then I thought of writing some meaningful sonnet about how I am here for her and whatever she needs she can find in me, but that sounded way weird and while we are friends and all we aren't dating and that just seemed to be a bit much. I mean I want to be there for my friends and of course I would be, but there is a line that should not be crossed without some sort of restraining order being issued.
My next plan of attack was I will make her dinner. I got really excited about this prospect. I made my dad's famous spaghetti, I was so excited to call and let her know that she could take her mind off dinner tonight because I have got it covered for her. Then I tasted the sauce. I'm not sure if I left salt out all together or what happened but this stuff is not my dad's famous spaghetti and to be quite honest I think she is suffering enough.
So, I've got nothin' no witty standup bit, no meaningful note, no delicious dinner. What I do have is this. I don't know what you are going through but I do know that you will never be alone. I can't tell you what it is going to feel like or what is around the next corner but I can tell you that I can listen. I'm not going to be the type of person that makes you rehash it every time I run into you because if it were me I would want times where everything is just as it was before this huge load of crap was dropped in my lap, but please understand this. My not mentioning it is not that I don't care.
I want to say it's going to be okay. I want to say this sucks. What I will end on is God has a plan in all of this. He knows exactly what he is doing. You are a blessing and light to so many. May that be returned to you in this your time of need my friend.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Watch what you say.
I am overweight. I haven't always been overweight. Growing up I was pretty well lined up with a nice size for my height and when I went to college all of my "numbers" were excellent according to my health teacher of my mandatory elective freshman year.
I'm not sure exactly what happened after I went away to college. I assume it was that I was then responsible for my dining choices whereas before I left for college I just ate whatever my mother put in front of me. I gained and lost all throughout college and then when I was engaged to be married I plummeted. I wasn't trying. I think it was just the stress of planning a wedding and was I making the right decision for THE REST OF MY LIFE. I don't know what it was but I look back at those pictures and even though I thought I was fat I was a stick.
After my first child, I was able to get back down to a nice weight before I figured out I was pregnant again and then after the birth of my second child I have to say it has all been up hill from there. I have gradually increased over the last few years to the point that I am now at the weight I was when I gave birth to my first child. Not good.
I am conscious of it. I am trying to get it off, but in my 40's it just isn't as easy to come off as it was in my 30's. I am faced with weird hormonal changes and depression which I have never been confronted with before. I am extremely hard on myself and while I might show a happy spirit to the world I am really struggling with this.
One of my pleasures in life is food, so when I take a pleasure away from myself it makes me sad which leads to more depression and its just a vicious cycle.
The thing is though that I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be this size. You are treated differently when you are overweight. I never thought it to be true but it totally is.
I guess the reason I am writing this is that I have something I want to say. I am not sure how this process is going to look for me, with a bum ankle my workout regime is going to be limited at best.
However, I want you to remember as you go about your day. You never know what people are struggling with. Be it weight, or insecurities, be it infertility or loneliness you have no clue what someone you run into is struggling with. So don't take their negative attitude personally. If they are hateful to you then be the more mature person and realize it might have nothing to do with you, and all that person might need to turn their life around is a kind word.
I would also like to take this moment to say that if your BMI is in the normal range and you come at me with blah blah blah I'm fat or blah blah blah my butt is big. I will not be responsible for the jack slap that will be taking place. I've got 50 pounds to get off. So...bite me.
I'm not sure exactly what happened after I went away to college. I assume it was that I was then responsible for my dining choices whereas before I left for college I just ate whatever my mother put in front of me. I gained and lost all throughout college and then when I was engaged to be married I plummeted. I wasn't trying. I think it was just the stress of planning a wedding and was I making the right decision for THE REST OF MY LIFE. I don't know what it was but I look back at those pictures and even though I thought I was fat I was a stick.
After my first child, I was able to get back down to a nice weight before I figured out I was pregnant again and then after the birth of my second child I have to say it has all been up hill from there. I have gradually increased over the last few years to the point that I am now at the weight I was when I gave birth to my first child. Not good.
I am conscious of it. I am trying to get it off, but in my 40's it just isn't as easy to come off as it was in my 30's. I am faced with weird hormonal changes and depression which I have never been confronted with before. I am extremely hard on myself and while I might show a happy spirit to the world I am really struggling with this.
One of my pleasures in life is food, so when I take a pleasure away from myself it makes me sad which leads to more depression and its just a vicious cycle.
The thing is though that I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be this size. You are treated differently when you are overweight. I never thought it to be true but it totally is.
I guess the reason I am writing this is that I have something I want to say. I am not sure how this process is going to look for me, with a bum ankle my workout regime is going to be limited at best.
However, I want you to remember as you go about your day. You never know what people are struggling with. Be it weight, or insecurities, be it infertility or loneliness you have no clue what someone you run into is struggling with. So don't take their negative attitude personally. If they are hateful to you then be the more mature person and realize it might have nothing to do with you, and all that person might need to turn their life around is a kind word.
I would also like to take this moment to say that if your BMI is in the normal range and you come at me with blah blah blah I'm fat or blah blah blah my butt is big. I will not be responsible for the jack slap that will be taking place. I've got 50 pounds to get off. So...bite me.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Waxing Woes.
I have decided that I need to put this out there.
The other day I was feeling rather beastly and decided that I was going to attempt to wax my own legs. The commercial looked easy enough. The model slid that wax on her legs as if she were spreading softened butter on them. It was even and smooth and in a perfect rectangle.
She then placed the provided piece of material over the wax and rubbed once or twice and then effortlessly pulled the whole nine yards off her leg without wincing or in any way showing any sort of reaction other than a happy smile that her leg was now hair free.
First off I just want to point out that she had no hair on her legs to begin with so I'm not even sure why this princess thinks she has a problem but whatever.
She repeated the whole process and then slapped on her short skirt and jumped on the back of a motorcycle and rolled on down the road of life. It could happen.
No, no it could not. What they don't tell you is the reality that was what I was dealing with and I truly wish I had video taped the whole thing because it would have brought joy to the masses.
First off, in order for this process to be anywhere near successful you have to spend at least a month growing out your leg hair, and being of the dark haired nature I was looking pretty much like Sasquatch by the time the waxing day rolled around.
The first round of this endeavor was pretty much like what you see in the commercial and you are thinking cool, I can do this but what they don't tell you is that the wax will get on your fingers which will attach itself to EVERYTHING YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH!! By the end of the first leg I had about 4 of the used strips randomly attached to me. By the end of the second leg it was getting caught in the hair on my head and the whole thing was pretty ugly.
It did work and I do highly suggest waxing but in about an 1/16th of the time you could make an appointment, walk into a professional and achieve the same affect without ever having to spend brain cells trying to figure out what chemical you can find in your house to get this stuff off of you. There should have been a bottle of remover in the box you say? Sure, there was, but it only contained 5 drops and my problem was much larger than that. That's like taking a dollar bill to Disney World thinking you are going to come home with change!!
Have a great day!!!
The other day I was feeling rather beastly and decided that I was going to attempt to wax my own legs. The commercial looked easy enough. The model slid that wax on her legs as if she were spreading softened butter on them. It was even and smooth and in a perfect rectangle.
She then placed the provided piece of material over the wax and rubbed once or twice and then effortlessly pulled the whole nine yards off her leg without wincing or in any way showing any sort of reaction other than a happy smile that her leg was now hair free.
First off I just want to point out that she had no hair on her legs to begin with so I'm not even sure why this princess thinks she has a problem but whatever.
She repeated the whole process and then slapped on her short skirt and jumped on the back of a motorcycle and rolled on down the road of life. It could happen.
No, no it could not. What they don't tell you is the reality that was what I was dealing with and I truly wish I had video taped the whole thing because it would have brought joy to the masses.
First off, in order for this process to be anywhere near successful you have to spend at least a month growing out your leg hair, and being of the dark haired nature I was looking pretty much like Sasquatch by the time the waxing day rolled around.
The first round of this endeavor was pretty much like what you see in the commercial and you are thinking cool, I can do this but what they don't tell you is that the wax will get on your fingers which will attach itself to EVERYTHING YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH!! By the end of the first leg I had about 4 of the used strips randomly attached to me. By the end of the second leg it was getting caught in the hair on my head and the whole thing was pretty ugly.
It did work and I do highly suggest waxing but in about an 1/16th of the time you could make an appointment, walk into a professional and achieve the same affect without ever having to spend brain cells trying to figure out what chemical you can find in your house to get this stuff off of you. There should have been a bottle of remover in the box you say? Sure, there was, but it only contained 5 drops and my problem was much larger than that. That's like taking a dollar bill to Disney World thinking you are going to come home with change!!
Have a great day!!!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Comebacks to a stupid person.
I have a friend who was upset recently because a co-worker had told her that they didn't like her. Now, my first impression is why say that? Why even go there? There are going to be things and people in this world that you don't like, it is inevitable you don't have to put more ill will out into the universe by voicing your opinion. It serves no positive purpose.
If it is your mindset that you should not have a filter on every thought that comes out of your mouth might I suggest that you are mistaken. Your mean and hateful spirit creates a chain reaction of hurt feelings that will eventually come back to bite you.
To my friend I want to give some ideas of things she can say the next time some one is hurtful to her.
The next time some one says to you "I don't like you." I want you to rip out this list and pick one. Okay?
1. I'm not surprised. I'm an acquired taste for a refined pallet.
2. Well, on a planet of billions of people there had to be at least one.
3. You're mean.
4. You don't know me.
5. All of me or just a particular part? I'm not fond of my______ it causes people to stare.
6. I don't like tomatoes...I love it when we share...your turn.
The next time you are about to speak and the only thing that is going to fly out of your mouth is something hateful and rude I want you to remember that you have no clue what is going on in this person's life that is about to receive your full venom. Swallow that bitterness down and remember, life is hard. We are all on this planet together. Be Kind people!!!
If it is your mindset that you should not have a filter on every thought that comes out of your mouth might I suggest that you are mistaken. Your mean and hateful spirit creates a chain reaction of hurt feelings that will eventually come back to bite you.
To my friend I want to give some ideas of things she can say the next time some one is hurtful to her.
The next time some one says to you "I don't like you." I want you to rip out this list and pick one. Okay?
1. I'm not surprised. I'm an acquired taste for a refined pallet.
2. Well, on a planet of billions of people there had to be at least one.
3. You're mean.
4. You don't know me.
5. All of me or just a particular part? I'm not fond of my______ it causes people to stare.
6. I don't like tomatoes...I love it when we share...your turn.
The next time you are about to speak and the only thing that is going to fly out of your mouth is something hateful and rude I want you to remember that you have no clue what is going on in this person's life that is about to receive your full venom. Swallow that bitterness down and remember, life is hard. We are all on this planet together. Be Kind people!!!
Monday, October 7, 2013
I don't even know who you are!
I was in an elementary school that I had never been to before today. I didn't know very many people, come to think of it the only person I did know drove there with me. This is an awkward position for me to be in. I love people. I love to talk to people. I love to laugh with people, but when I don't know anyone I tend to get quiet and shy.
So, when to my surprise I noticed a little boy that had grown up with my daughter in church youth group I got excited. I had served snack to this child for years, he should know who I am. However, when I said hello to him and called him by name do you want to know what his response was? A very hateful....Who are you? I said, Ms. Erika from church? He then repeated with even more hatred I don't even know who you are! I gave a few more examples of how he should know me and yet nothing but a blank stare.
I got mad. I was hurt. How dare he be so rude to me! Brat! Jerk! All of this venom was building up inside of me, and then I realized something.
At the end of this life. When all is said and done. Will I have lived a life where Jesus will turn to me and recognize me or will he say to me I don't know you!? Will I throw up things like...You remember me, I was in church every Sunday! You know me, I went to church camp! You know me, I taught Wee worship to 3 and 4 year olds for years!
Will he recognize me? Will he say Well, done good and faithful servant or will he say I never knew you.
This little burst of adrenaline today has brought the thirst for a closer relationship with Christ, a want for a stronger bond and broader knowledge of his word. I choose to forget about my annoyance to the child and use it as a spring board to a better life for me.
Just so you know, as I was sitting there saddened and hurt and looking down I heard the beautiful tones of a familiar voice. MS ERIKA!!! I looked up to see a little girl from our youth group. Now that is what I want to hear on judgement day!!!
Well done my good and faithful servant.
So, when to my surprise I noticed a little boy that had grown up with my daughter in church youth group I got excited. I had served snack to this child for years, he should know who I am. However, when I said hello to him and called him by name do you want to know what his response was? A very hateful....Who are you? I said, Ms. Erika from church? He then repeated with even more hatred I don't even know who you are! I gave a few more examples of how he should know me and yet nothing but a blank stare.
I got mad. I was hurt. How dare he be so rude to me! Brat! Jerk! All of this venom was building up inside of me, and then I realized something.
At the end of this life. When all is said and done. Will I have lived a life where Jesus will turn to me and recognize me or will he say to me I don't know you!? Will I throw up things like...You remember me, I was in church every Sunday! You know me, I went to church camp! You know me, I taught Wee worship to 3 and 4 year olds for years!
Will he recognize me? Will he say Well, done good and faithful servant or will he say I never knew you.
This little burst of adrenaline today has brought the thirst for a closer relationship with Christ, a want for a stronger bond and broader knowledge of his word. I choose to forget about my annoyance to the child and use it as a spring board to a better life for me.
Just so you know, as I was sitting there saddened and hurt and looking down I heard the beautiful tones of a familiar voice. MS ERIKA!!! I looked up to see a little girl from our youth group. Now that is what I want to hear on judgement day!!!
Well done my good and faithful servant.
Driving is soooooo a big pet peeve of mine.
I'm not going to say the city that I was in yesterday because I'm pretty sure that this list would apply to any city on this fine planet of ours, but I would just like to add a few classes for the Board of Education to review for their Driver's Education program.
1. Merging 101
2. What the sign "Lane ends merge right/left" means to me.
3. Why driving 90 miles an hour in torrential rain is not a good "choice".
4. Proper use of your horn. ( No, that is not a euphemism)
5. How to work together with fellow traffic jam mates to teach that jerk a lesson.
6. A traffic jam on a hill is not a good time to learn how to drive a stick shift.
7. Proper use of many four letter favorites.
8. When stuck in a traffic jam just say no to your gas pedal.
9. Don't be a lane jumper!!
10. If we can all just work together for good we will all get there much sooner!!
Never in my life have I seen such stupidity on the highway. Remember my zipper analogy. If you try to do the merge improperly your zipper will get stuck and jam JUST LIKE TRAFFIC!!!! 1 to 1 ratio!!!!
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