I see what you are doing....Stop it.

Long ago, whilst I was in high school, one fall morning the football field had been "messed up", the rumor went around the school that the culprit was a group of students from the rival school that we were playing that Friday night.  How dare they!  The nerve! Who do they think they are?!  Oddly enough it was the incentive that the team needed to win the game apparently.  We all found out later that our own coaches had messed up the field in order to get our players amped up about the game.

Fast forward to last night.  My children's high school was playing a rival school,  that school was wearing t-shirts that were a proclamation from a twitter war that had been going on all week fanning the inferno that had been created from one tweet.  One tweet.  Guess who had sent out that tweet.  A dad.  A dad from the rival team that really really wanted his sons team to win.

Manipulation.  I hate manipulation.  I feel like the government is using this technique to incite our nation into a fury of discord.  I'm not sure for what purpose.  It is very rare that I even watch television any more because it seems that someone is always trying to fan the flames of discontent.   We are one nation.  We all want for the same things.  Prosperity, security, and happiness to name a few.  Why are we so quick to bicker and argue about things without looking at each situation from a discerning perspective?

Who actually messed up the field?  Is it really messed up that bad or could it be fixed without losing your cool?  Who sent the first tweet?  Was it some internet troll who needs to get a life?

What makes you mad?  What causes you to lose your cool.  Before you do the next time count to 10 and say to yourself my reaction to this is going to greatly effect those around me.  I can either fan the flames or put the fire out.  Analyze your fire... is this a delightful campfire that people will roast marshmallows and hot dogs over all whilst singing kumbaya or is this a wild fire that will cause people to lose their property and hurt their well being.

Think before you speak.  Go out...Be kind.

My two cents.

My son's freshman year was a beautiful transition into high school.  I will attribute a majority of the ease of that change to one man.  There is a teacher, who technically my son didn't even have that felt it his ministry to see the unseen, to search out the people eating alone and give them a safe place to fit in, to belong.  His classroom was open for anyone to come and have a place to eat, to commune, to just be.  If there was disrespect you were asked to leave, only people didn't disrespect one another because they didn't want to leave.  This man is teaching these young boys mutual respect and kindness in their own language.

This man is under some scrutiny.  I am not privy to the ins and outs of the reasons why but currently he does not have a job at my children's school next year and I am completely sick over it.  In my mind next years school year will be a loss, we might as well go ahead and change schools now because it had been a hard road prior to this individual stepping in and I don't see the climate continuing to change without this man there, but then I am reminded of a story....

Michael and I had a youth minister who was a wonderfully creative man.  A wonderfully creative man who had some out there tendencies and renegade nature.  He could get things done but he didn't always make people comfortable doing it.  The church decided that something he was doing needed to be changed but he refused to do so so they asked him to leave.  My now husband and I fought tooth and nail to get that plan reversed only to fail.  We were angry.  We were hurt and we did not understand.

Fast forward 25 years.  The old youth minister now runs a huge ministry in a larger city and it is flourishing he is doing huge things for the kingdom that he would have never done had he stayed here.  I could not see 25 years into the future but God could.  God knew exactly where he needed my youth minister and it wasn't where he was.

I will still hold out hope that this teacher will be reinstated and kept for at the very least 4 more years so that I can graduate my two precious treasures under his kind compassionate eye, but I will say this.  I am not so pompous to think that God doesn't know exactly what should happen in this situation and he will direct the steps of the powers that be for his greater good.

Go out...Be kind.

The poor man that wasn't...

There once was a very rich man that was out of town for vacation.  He looked like any other vacationer, he was not dressed up he was just wearing casual clothes.  One day on his vacation he decided to go into a car dealership and look around.  The rich man found a car that he just had to have but he didn't have any sort of way to pay for it on him so he asked the sales person to call his bank and make it happen.  The sales person rolled their eyes thinking that this was all a big joke, no one just came in and paid cash for a car on the spot, and certainly this man in shorts and a tee shirt couldn't afford a car such as this.  The sales person all but insulted the customer, but the customer knew the bigger story.  The sales person went and called the bank and very sarcastically explained the situation.  The banker replied to the obnoxious sales person, does the customer want to buy the dealership or a vehicle because either way he's good.  The shocked salesperson went back and sold the man the car.

This is a true story, not made up to make this post more interesting.  The cockiness of some people genuinely blows me away.  Why do you care what a person's bank account holds?  A person's financial situation says very little about their character, it just means that either they or someone they love was very good at making money or managing it.  I personally love it when I have absolutely no idea that someone is wealthy from the way they carry themselves.

A person could live in a huge house, wear all the right clothes, drive a fancy car and could absolutely be mortgaged up to their eyeballs.  In the same respects, a person could live frugally and have a fortune in the bank.  You don't know.

Treat everyone you meet with the same criteria.  Be kind, be respectful, be genuine.  It doesn't matter how much they have what matters is that they are a human being with a story to tell, a role to play.  Each and every person that walks into your life was brought there for a reason.  You don't get to discount them because you think that you are better than they are, in fact, if you automatically think that because you have more financially you are in fact better than they are then what happens if you lose it all tomorrow?  Do not find your worth in your bank account, in your possessions, you will come up lacking every single time.

Go out....Be kind.

What I would say if I could say it....

Daddy's death has reminded me of something I hold dear.

I grew up at Woodlawn Christian Church from age 5 until I left for college.  After college, when I moved back to Knoxville I didn't want to go to Woodlawn any more because I felt like it was my parent's church and that I would never feel like an adult there.  I chose a church very similar to Woodlawn and went there for over 20 years.  I have to say I never felt plugged in.  Don't get me wrong I volunteered and I tried classes, I taught Wee worship, I went to the weekly meals but it just never seemed right.  We moved to a mega church a few years ago and I absolutely love the preaching.  Love...Love...Love.  My children love their youth groups.  Love...Love...Love.

The thing is IT'S SO BIG!!!!  If I were to miss no one would notice.  They are never going to call down from the stage something about me and the audience know exactly what they are talking about. None of the preachers know me enough to have even come to daddy's funeral and that made me sad.

My entire life I have been Jim Pierson's daughter, and trust me in the Christian church "Jim Pierson" is an adjective.  My daddy was a huge presence known all over the world for his work with disability ministry.  We could not go anywhere without daddy knowing someone.  Getting out of church to go to lunch on a Sunday was IMPOSSIBLE!!!  We would have to physically drag him from the building.

I had gotten used to my anonymous life.  No one knew me for what I had always been known for.  They only knew me for me.  I mean I'm okay and all but not the super star that daddy was.   Speaking for large crowds, on television, writing books, teaching courses, seminars, daddy got around, only then he died, and I read his obituary and I stood for hours while people paid their respects and told me hundreds of beautiful things my father had done for them.

I want to make my daddy proud.  I want to make change in this sucktacular world.  I want to be a light!  I want my preacher to know my name.  My mother said I should start going to Woodlawn again.  She said she would love to have us there and that they have a great youth group.  I could totally do that.  I have to tell you that there were so many familiar loving faces that knew me by name and hugged me and made me feel loved that there is a part of me that thinks that might be an option. Absolutely.  The thing is I currently don't feel like that is the best move for me and my family.  The church I am a member of currently is convicting me, it is filling me, it is teaching me, it just doesn't know how awesome I am!!  Kidding...kinda.  I just want it to use me!

I want to serve my church as my parents did before me.  I want to feel like I have a place.  God knows where he wants me, needs me to serve.  He will place me exactly where he wants me.  I will serve him by Going out....Being kind.

Daddy story #2

My daddy did not like anyone to be unhappy.  If I were to come to him complaining about a bad day and have a whole list of multiple things that had gone wrong he would patiently listen and then he would say but everything is going to be ok right?

This would frustrate me, I felt like if I were to say to him daddy I have lost all of my appendages, I have no job , and everyone around me hates me he would say something like but you are alive.  It was maddening sometimes.  The thing is though...he's right.

You can absolutely focus on the bad.  You can look at a day and pick out all the horrible things that have happened and fill your life with negative surly thoughts.  By all means feel free it will be simple to do.  Problem with that train of thought is that it derails into a fiery crash of self pity and loathing and that train goes no where but the junkyard.

Instead how about you focus on the positive.  Start basic.  Do you have a pulse?  Are you breathing?  Get a little more complicated do you have a roof over your head?  Is your tummy fed?  If you answered yes to these guess what you are more blessed than most of the people on this planet.  Now, take those blessings that have been heaped on your head and go out and figure out how you can help someone else out of the pit of despair.  Funny thing about doing nice things for sad people even when you are sad...they make you both happy.

Go out...Be kind.

Daddy story #1

Sometimes these posts are more about stories I want to remember for myself and less about having a message to put out there.  This is one from my daddy's funeral that I want to remember.

I don't cry much.  I have cried twice about daddy's death.  You need to understand that it is not because I didn't love my daddy I loved him so so very much.  My parents are and always have been two of my closest friends and confidants.  I was a homebody in school and they are fun people so it was a no brainer.

One time that I cried was in Bradley's.  Bradley's is a little chocolate shop made up of the most beautiful people.  Bradley's is my Cheers bar.  You know how sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name?  That is Bradleys to me.  I knew that they had made these things called snowballs which are a chocolate covered caramel stuffed with marshmellow rolled in coconut.  Daddy would love that!!!  I went in to get them and the place was packed.  It was right before Christmas and I couldn't find any more snowballs.  As I waited in line to ask my friend Shea if there were anymore I started getting emotional.  I was thinking about how I liked to bring my daddy little treats like this and what if they didn't have any more and what if he passed and I wouldn't ever be able to bring him little treats ever again and the tears started.  I looked up at the ceiling trying to get them to go back in.  I waited and I waited in line hoping to not lose it.

It was my turn I choked out what I needed to Shea and it was so loud in there she didn't realize my voice cracked she jokingly said that they didn't have anymore...cue waterworks...I asked for his favorite treat she asked how many and she looked up and realized what was going down.  I paid, she hugged me and I ran to my car.

Next up was the day of the burial.  I lost it when I saw daddy's casket over the hole.  It all seemed so final, so real.  This was not supposed to be happening.  Daddy was fine less than a month before.  Ok sure there were little signs but I thought he needed a knee replacement and was being stubborn about it and the pain was making him grouchy.

The preacher at my parent's church started to tell a story about my daddy.  It was a story about how there was drama in the church and some of the elders had gone to a families house.  The family was upset with the church over something and they verbally attacked my father.  My father who has never been anything but kind to anyone in his life.  He took it like a man, did not retaliate and was kind to these people.  The story went on and on about how my father was attacked, but my daddy did not react as he rightfully should have he showed God's love.  The preacher paused for a moment and there was silence.  I said loudly, "Oh, I'm going to need some names."  and everyone laughed.  The preacher said in horror I can't tell you that!  I said I know you don't know me that well but I don't do tears.  I do laughter.  This had gotten way too serious for me.  He continued on.

We all went back to the church for some treats and so many people came up to hug me and said that if I ever found out who it was they would go with me!  These are my people, they understand my humor.

I thought of one more time that I cried.  It was the day that I saw my daddy's PET scan.  My daddy had 3 tumors in his lungs, too numerous to count lesions on his brain, the cancer was in his prostate, his spine, pretty much every where.  My husband who works in the PET field said that he should have had pain, he should have been a whole lot more debilitated than he was, but that was my daddy.  He didn't tell you the bad.  He told you the good and focused on that, and that my friends is the topic of the next story to remember my daddy's last days...  Thank you for listening...Go out...Be kind.

Tips to look after your wife

I recently read an extract from a 1950's home economics book entitled Tips to look after your husband.  All of the "tips" seem outrageous in this day and age of shared roles and working mothers.  I thought I would update it a little...

Tips to look after your wife:

Have dinner ready
Plan ahead, even the week before, to have any type of sustenance necessary with you when you arrive home.  Don't forget to remember her favorite beverage exactly the way she likes it.  Do not complain about the cost of eating out often just understand that she has had to deal with all manners of bodily fluids throughout her day and count yourself lucky that you did not.

Prepare yourself
Take a moment to think of a fun game or craft to do with your young children when you get home so that your wife can have a few moments to herself.  She has had your spawn all to herself for the past 8 hours be a man and take 30 min so that your wife can go to the bathroom alone.

Clear away the clutter
Notice that the breakfast and lunch dishes are still on the table.  Move them to the dishwasher and start the machine. Do not just move them to the sink as this does nothing except make another job for your lovely wife.  This will clear the kitchen for the evening meal and calm the evening for everyone.

Prepare the children
Make sure that the activity that you have chosen is calm and soothing.  Do not get the children excitable or loud as this only heightens your spouses stress level.  Have the children wash their hands, make sure that they have a clean diaper and clothing.  Bodily fluids are stressful to your wife eliminate any that might bring her discomfort.

Minimise all noise
Children should be seen but not heard.  If you are going to play a game that involves tickling or loud laughter make sure that you can go outside to do so.  The home is a sanctuary noise should be kept to a minimum.

Some don'ts
Don't greet her with problems or complaints.  Don't complain about long hours or short deadlines.  Count this as minor compared with what she might have gone through that day.

Make her comfortable.
Have her lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest she lie down in the bedroom.  This is the time to hand her the specially crafted beverage that you have brought home for her.  Arrange her pillow and offer to take off her shoes.  Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice.  Allow her to relax - unwind.

Of course this is ridiculous, of course every family is different.  Every one has hard parts to their day. It is our job to love our family members and make sure that their load is light.  Many hands make the load light.  Look to see how you can help and do so.  

More importantly....Go out...Be kind!!  Happy Valentines day everyone!!

Jim Pierson's eulogy from me.

I am Erika Nazerias.  I am the youngest Pierson daughter.  I have taken great pride in telling people lately that I am the youngest.  I don't get to say that at 45 very often.  Everyone in this room has stories that they can tell about my daddy.  We could stay here for hours talking about how wonderful he was.  Don't worry.  I'm not going to open the mic to the floor or anything I just want to say that because isn't that a beautiful legacy.  Look around at all of these people Jim Pierson touched all of these lives in some way.  One man.

Everyone has an adjective words that describe the way you look, the way you are, the way you smell.  Daddy did not care about your adjective, he looked more at the fact that you were another human.  You were another child of God and therefore you were important.  He loved you right where you are.  He didn't care if you had a disability.  He didn't care if you were a poor man or a king.  He wanted to get to know you.  He wanted to make you smile!

Imagine that daddy had one candle in here.  It would be pretty dim, it wouldn't help very much from the being able to see aspect.  You would be able to see the light but that would be about it, but give everyone in this room a candle, have daddy's light spread throughout the room.  This entire sanctuary would be completely illuminated.  You would clearly see all around you.  Daddy touched people with his light.  His kindness, his friendliness, his laughter was infectious.


I was shopping with daddy one day and the cashier was a rather grumpy individual who should probably rethink her occupation selection of customer service.  Daddy started talking to her and she was ice cold.   I watched as my daddy continued chipping away at her icy exterior until she was finally smiling and friendly and kind to him.  We walked away and she had the biggest smile on her face!  I challenge all of you to go out and try it.  If you run in to someone who is mean, hateful, grumpy or rude do not return their venom.  What good does that do?  My mother has always taught me that I should leave a place better than the way I found it.  This life lesson goes for humans too.

If you come across a person that is hateful and rude and you are in turn hateful and rude back to them are you not then stoking the fire and just making things worse?  Why not extinguish their rage?  You will have single handedly changed the day of people that you will never come in contact with.  Why on earth wouldn't you want to make someone's day better rather than worse?

Daddy found out about his cancer battle on December 13th, that was just over 3 weeks ago.  In this amount of time I have seen so many beautiful acts of kindness.  Nurses, doctors, friends, family.  Random paper products showing up on my front porch, meals, texts, prayers, so much kindness.  I haven't had time or the inclination to watch the news as of late, but I'm here to tell you that the horrible world that is represented on the 6 o'clock news is not representative of the world that I have lived in for the last 3 weeks.  Kindness and love has been all around me.  Prayers have sustained me.

You can make the world a brighter place maybe not exactly like daddy did but  Right where you are!  You don't have to be as large a personality as daddy was.  You can be the quiet person in the back.  You be you, but whatever you do Go out...Be kind.