Merging and other none suches.

I'm not sure why I notice the stuff I do.  It makes no difference in the world as I know it or as anyone knows it really but some of my observations really get in there and make me wonder or make me laugh out loud or just make me ponder.  Since you are completely free to stop reading right now I am going to document them now and possibly make my children laugh in years to come when they look back this and laugh at how their mother has always been this odd!

1. There is a brown van that we pass every morning on the way to school.  It is like a delivery van with very few windows.  It is the color of a Hershey bar and I have decided it has been placed there to torment me.  (I'm not saying these observations are earth shattering I'm just saying that they are my observations....stop reading now if you have something better to do it isn't gonna go up from here.)

2. Why is it that there are always a few that have to break the rules?  The kids school has stated a pretty clear process for pick up line but every day there are a select few that either can't read or just don't feel that rules were made for them.  It drives me insane every single day.  I want to get out of my car with copies of the email and disperse them.  Lovingly, of course.

3. Why is it that people don't understand the concept of merging?  I will go back to my illustration of a zipper.  You take one metal piece from each side all the way up and the thing zips like a dream, you take two from one side and miss the one that is trying to merge in and BLAMMO! Zipper no work!  One car is not going to kill you people!

4. Speaking of merging.  When driving on a 5 lane highway the only reason you should be in the first lane is if you have only just joined the flow of traffic, you are about to leave the flow of traffic, or you are driving so slow if you try any of the other lanes you will impede the flow of traffic.  You should at no point use this as a passing lane cursing the drivers that are attempting to enter the roadway.  You sir can point that middle finger at yourself as you are the offender!

5. Why is it that I can never be dressed up and pretty on days that I am called into the kids school for an "emergency"?  Why is it that I am in the middle of laundry day looking like something out of My Fair Lady only before she could talk purty.

Ok.  I won't bore you any longer, but don't think I won't bore you again.  I have to make a case for the fact that when they tell the judge they have to put me in a home because I'm crazy I can pull up all these posts and say Honey, I'm better now than I was when I was 40 so shut up a little!  :)

Have a great day!

I am an emotional train wreck.

I am here to tell you if this is what hormonal imbalance looks like, it ain't pretty.

I sat down to eat my lunch here at home by myself as I often do and I turned on the television as I often do for a little entertainment whilst I eat my lunch.  The movie The Notebook was on.  I have a love hate relationship with this movie.  I loved the book.  I read the book when I was way more hormonally stable.

There is a scene in this movie that gets me every time.  If you haven't seen it the movie is a love story within a love story.  One love story is of two young people and the other is of a man who is reading the story to his wife who is suffering from dementia and doesn't know him.  The scene that gets me is she recognizes him for a brief moment and he is so happy that she recognizes him and then as quickly as that recognition came it is gone.  She gets scared and pushes him away and he is crying while doctors and nurses try to subdue her.

I am sobbing at this point.  Not even for the movie but for the reality of it all.  What a horrible disease dementia is and how it robs us of our beautiful memories.  I then go into how quickly my children are zooming through childhood and how brief life is and how I don't want to be put in a home and how sad it is for those who have no one who loves them enough to care!

See.  Train. Wreck.

I do this sometimes.  I have a very "what is it all for" frame of mind that I get into and I can't wrap my mind around what seems to be my very small part in this grand scheme of things.  What am I doing for the betterment of the kingdom as we know it?

I'll tell you what I'm going to tell myself.  I am raising two beautiful children.  I am teaching them to respect others.  To be kind.  To love others.  I am not perfect at it but I take great joy in the fact that I am their mother.  God has a plan for me and he has a plan for the two children that he has placed  into my care and I need to raise them so that they are ready for their purpose.

Life might seem repetitive.  Life might seem hard.  Life is not always joyous.  Remember that you are loved.  Not as anything that you have ever seen before.  Loved greater than you can even imagine and hold tight to that remembering that no matter what you think you don't know because you can not see the big picture.

God is larger than any of your trials and your trials are only training you how to be a better you.
Know that you are loved sweet friends.  

Funny ha ha or Funny peculiar.

Funny ha ha or Funny peculiar is a saying that my mother used to use when she was trying to figure out what we were talking about.  She's right you know...you really need to specify when you say that some one is funny. 

I like to be funny.  It brings me great joy to create laughter in most situations.  Not inappropriate, of course, I'm not some sort of whackadoodle.  Well, maybe I am but I try not to be.  I just find it way more productive to leave a situation better when you leave than it was when you arrived.  There is no point in being hateful to people that just spreads ill will and that crap will come back and bite you!  Mark my words.

I tell you all this because I haven't felt very funny lately.  Well, I have felt funny peculiar but not funny ha ha.  I have been so depressed.  I blame my hormones and I know that some people would tell me to get on medication but that is just not for me.  If I can get into my regular exercise routine and have my daily dose of adult conversation I will be good.  It is just that summer has just ended and I have been doing some things around the house that I haven't been able to do with the kids home and I'm not in my normal swing of things.

Want to know what I have discovered?  You find out really quickly who your true friends are.  If all of a sudden you are no longer being the court jester and bringing amusement to the masses some have no room for your neediness.  It is only then that you find out who your true friends are. 

I'm not sure why I am telling you guys any of this it brings no joy or amusement to anyone.  I guess just to say that everyone has ups and downs and no one is happy ALL  the time.  We all have our moments.  Remember that when you are dealing with other humans.  If the woman in the gas station is rude to you don't be so selfish to think about your own feelings and how she should find a job other than customer service.  Think instead what might have gone wrong with her day or that something might be bothering her. 

Spread joy out there people it is a beautiful world go out and make it more so!

Maturity.

So, I'm driving down the road with my two children in the backseat on a road that is known for its speeders.  It is extremely trafficky and to be quite honest I am a little nervous.  People are flying by left and right and I am already more than doing the speed limit.

Then, from somewhere behind me flies two motorcycles with completely inappropriately dressed young men.  No helmets, shorts, flip flops and tank tops.  So pretty much if they go down they are mince meat.  They get directly in front of me and keep looking back at me.  Then without any notice they both take off like a shot , from an already fast speed and then the most insane thing happened.  One of these brilliant individuals in all this mess and merging traffic decides to stand up on his seat..not his pedals the seat!

Yes, extremely impressive.  Yes, extremely stupid.  Now, some might read this and think Cool.  I say No cool!!

I am all for being extreme, but please do so on your own time.  Do not cause complete strangers to be players in your insanity.  Let's say you go down.  Let's say you hit a rock or someone slams on their brakes.  Let's say you die.  Forget about the fact that you are dead, because you are dead and you caused all this anyway so sorry I'm not going to mourn you.

Let's think about the 5 year old in the van next to you that saw you die.  Let's think about the little old woman that squooshed you, and how she has to live with the fact that you are an idiot for the rest of her life.  Let's think about the traffic jam you just caused causing people to be late for things and causing stress and causing possibly other accidents.

I'm not saying you can't be extreme.  You just can't use unsuspecting citizens in your little death wish.  Part of being mature is realizing that the world does not revolve around you and realizing your role in the world.  To be mature is not necessarily a bad thing.  I can be immature with the best of them, but I am not going to be an idiot either.

I shall now step off my soap box.  The end.