What would you do if you won?

When I was single, and I would have trouble falling asleep, I would set some crazy amount of money in my head and then decide how I would spend it. I would set rules such as time limits and exact dollar amounts and I'll be if I didn't always fall asleep.

One of the things I would love to do was to go into a car dealership dressed shabbily and see who still waited on me no matter what I "looked" like. If someone would give me excellent service I would thank them and then tell them that today was their lucky day and buy cars for all of my friends.

Once I was married my new husband didn't like his job very much and I would fantasize that I would walk into some big board meeting and walk over to my husband and say Do you like it here? and he would of course reply no. The board members would be yelling at me that I needed to leave or they would call security and I would say to my sweet husband " I have 230 million that says you don't have to." (See I would set crazy amounts)

The lottery is up pretty high right now and everyone is wondering how they would spend it if they won. Me personally I would remove debt from all my family and friends causing them to be debt free. I would set up trust funds for all family members so that they would never have to worry about anything and I would very much enjoy playing the role of secret santa to people who I found out were trying hard to make it and could just use a little boost.

What would you do if you won the money?

One of those days

I am so ready for this day to be over.

This is the first day back after a wonderful Spring Break spent with my family. We had such a wonderful time and I had no interest in getting back to the real world. However, when that silly little alarm goes off you must listen.

I took the kids to school and then returned home for a day of cleaning because well, just because I should. The oven had a spill in it a week ago and the smell every time I turned the thing on was driving me crazy so I thought Hey, I'll clean it. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I took out the racks and set the oven to clean and went about the general cleaning of the kitchen. At one point I glanced over to the oven and thought....that's odd. Yes, the thing was on fire. Roaring fireplace right there in my kitchen. Only, I don't have a fireplace in my kitchen. I turned it off and the flames died down. I thought great I've ruined my oven.

Well, good news. Once it cooled down I took one of those magic eraser thingys to the mess and by golly, nothing came off so I tried it again and what do you know the thing looks brand new!!! Yay!!! You can't even tell there was a raging inferno in it just hours before.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. Just kind of set the mood for the gigantic spider, my daughter taking a swing to the mouth, my son having a meltdown for no apparent reason, and all in all just being a craptastic day.

I will say, I'm alive, I'm loved, I have food on the table and a roof over my head. Life is good! It's just kinda hard sometimes. :)

Step away from the television

Why is it that some people take whatever they see on television as reality?

Why do they model their worlds around what is presented before them as fact without doing any sort of investigation of their own.

Have you ever heard of a voice over? Commercials are shot with an actor or actress with the perfect look that they company that is hocking their wares is attempting to achieve. Now, what is the likelihood that said person is also going to have the perfect voice? Well, pretty much nil so they find another woman that has the perfect voice and they splice the two in editing. It's what they do. It is how they are able to achieve perfection.

Have you heard of photo shop? I know it has been in the news more now but people didn't use to understand that the reason those people on the fronts of magazines looked so good was that it looked nothing like the actual person!

Do not be down on yourself because others have it better than you or are more attractive than you! I'm betting they probably feel the exact same way. Be happy in your skin. Be a joy to be around! Put off an air of confidence and security. You are fabulous because you are the only you that there is.

Be unique and show the world the piece of art that is you! It is way more interesting to look at something unique than to look at the 400 millionth person that looks exactly the same as every one else.

Be confident and go with what makes you happy and you find to be beautiful and you will find friends that feel the same as you do. If you keep trying to fit yourself into a box that you don't enjoy because you want to fit in guess what? Happiness will be near impossible to achieve.

Commit to happiness and it will bloom before you. Chase happiness and it will be ever elusive. Love the character that is you and share it with the world. You are loved!

Stupid Hormones.

I have decided that if I would actually write down how I am feeling each day that there is some sort of hormonal pattern that should be tracked. There are days that I am downright dangerous and others where I should be kept from all people for the good of their safety.

It isn't necessarily anything anyone has done to me or that a particular day makes them more or less annoying to me it is just these crazy stupid hormones that can make me go from completely content to ready to mix up my entire world in about 20 seconds...or less.

I just need to get through my thick skull that happiness is my choice. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to be miserable either way it is my choice and since others can get away from me or I them it really has nothing to do with others so much as it has to do with me.

Take this blog for instance.

I love to write this blog. It makes me happy and is completely therapeutic for me. I started out doing this solely for myself and I was okay with it. However, since I have been doing it for awhile I have come across other people's blogs that have 100's of followers and 1,000's of reads. Really? Okay, so then why do I only have 10 followers all of which I know? Plus, why has no one commented on my blog in months?

Again, it isn't for others it is for me but it feels good when I feel like I am helping others and that there is actually a purpose in my ramblings. I could choose to get discouraged and stop writing. No one is reading anyway right? Wrong! Even if what I write is only read by one random stranger in Croatia and I am able to make them smile or laugh well, then it is all worth it.

Now, am I going to know this person in Croatia? No, probably not, okay absolutely not, but if they smile then they will want to pass that along and if we are all passing good will and smiles around rather than hateful sour miserable looks around well then I say Good show!!! (In a fairly horrible British accent)

The next time someone is mean or hateful to you do not return the favor that crap will spread like weeds. Either try to cheer them up and change their outlook or just walk away and do something nice for someone else. Spread joy and love people, spread it thick and spread it wide!!!

Be someone else's comic relief

Do you ever look around you to see something that makes you laugh out loud? Like you seriously blow things out of your nose or mouth when you see it? Like a man that is completely unaware of his lack of fashion know how? or a woman who seems to be dancing to her own little tune.

Does this knowledge that these people are out there make you fear being that same person to someone else? Do you not try new and different things for fear of looking stupid? Well, I am here to tell you get out of that box.

The best decision I ever made was to stop worrying what I would look like trying this new exercise class that I am all hyped up about. I love it and to be quite honest it is so much fun I could care less how I look. The scale and my clothes don't lie I am making progress and that is more than I can say for the last 10 years.

Am I wholly aware that someone in that class probably has their eyes on me thinking that I look crazy or silly? Yes, Yes I am. I have decided that I am totally okay with it. This is my viewpoint.

If something silly that I do puts a smile on someone else's face and then in turn provides them with fodder in which they can tell their friends about "this crazy lady in exercise class" then I have put a smile on faces right? I have brought joy in some way however far fetched I have still made someone smile.

That is really my main goal here is to bring joy and put smiles on faces.

There is way too much to be depressed and overwhelmed with so if my jiggly parts make time with the music or if I have a sweat pattern in the shape of a smiley face on my rear...so be it. Laugh away random stranger...laugh away. :)

There will be good and there will be bad.

The minister that spoke in church yesterday had a chart of all of the rulers that ruled during bible time. It was color coded to show the degree of their righteousness versus their wickedness. You know what I learned? There were a whole bunch of extremely wicked rulers that ruled and it was all still part of God's overall plan.

I'm going to go back to my map analogy. You can not see the big picture. You will, in all your days, never see the big picture. God is the only one that can see what is going on. Now, hindsight is 20/20 and we can look back on biblical times and say Oh, I see why this had to happen or how cool is it that this happened in order for God's plan to work out.

You know what? I bet the people that lived under that evil evil ruler sure didn't think it was neat. I am quite sure that their perspective or take on the situation that they actually lived through would be much different if you could speak to them one on one.

Why is it that we are so close minded to think that our perspective is the only valid authority? God is bigger than we are, he is better than we are and he is much more loving than we could ever even attempt to be.

You might be dealing with evil, you might be dealing with sadness, you might be dealing with struggles that no one else understands. I urge you to hold fast to God. If you don't know him. Seek him out. God is loving and understanding and he wants you to come to know him. Humans are flawed and can never be the perfection that is Christ. Do not assume that because you have burned by someone that calls themselves a Christian that this is what Christianity is.

Look at it this way. Let's say there is a fireworks display and you are trying to find out about the purpose for it and the ins and outs of it and generally everything you can find out about it but the first person you ask hates fireworks. Are you going to base your entire impression of fireworks on that person? If you do then you have missed the excitement of how it works, the beauty of the display and the understanding of fireworks as a whole.

Do not allow your opinion about anything be based on one bad experience. It is a big world and there will be good and there will be evil. Be strong and show love my friends. We are all in this together.