I was driving my son and two of his friends the other day. One of my son's friends had an Ipod with him. My son was watching whatever game the little boy was playing and no one was paying attention to the third friend. The third friend went into this very strange one sided conversation with whomever wasn't listening saying. Oh, you only have an Ipod? I have an Ipod and an Ipad and an Iphone and etc ..etc. No one was paying attention though. It was a little sad. The little boy instead of enjoying whatever game was being played on the device the group did have, felt that he had to explain that he was way better than either one of them because of his "stuff".
Stuff. Who is to say that one person's stuff is any better than another person's stuff? Does it serve the same purpose? Does it accomplish the task that you purchased it for? Well, then let us get on to bigger and better problems in the world that do not involve whether or not your phone or car or house is bigger and better than the guy next door. Let's make sure that everyone is going to bed with a full stomach and a warm bed.
I would love to do an experiment. I would love to put a bunch of people who don't know each other into a large room. They must all wear a white tshirt and black shorts. They are not allowed to discuss any of their monetary prowess or material possession. They must approach strangers and strike up a conversation without mentioning any of their stuff.
Why do we automatically assume that if a person didn't go to college they are on a different level? If the person is not wealthy they are on a different level? Who came up with these levels? I would much rather be associated with people who want not only their own happiness but the happiness of those around them to be an issue. Is it really all that important to you to be driving the biggest and the best car if you are aware that a child is going to bed without eating?
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
My flower bed.
I have a flower bed. It is at the front of my house. It is filled with memories. Some of the plants have been with me for a long time. They are special to me. A few of them were even written into the last real estate contract when we moved because they mean that much to me.
I am the type of a person that would rather have an azalea than a vase of cut flowers because I can enjoy it for years to come. I love the idea of planting a tree for special occasions because as the tree grows you will look on it and remember that event. It is one of my things it is how I am.
Today we hired landscapers to come clean up and mulch the beds around the house. It needed to be done. It looked bad and was required. However, my bed was not to be touched. I even went out this morning when the landscapers arrived in my pajamas and walked the foreman over to my bed. I said this bed has been hand weeded by me, the only thing you are doing to it is mulching it do you understand? I said do you see this plant? It is not a weed. It is a yellow lilac. Do you know how hard it is to get a yellow lilac to grow? All you are doing in this bed is mulching it right? Right was his reply. I showed him another one of my baby lilacs I said do you see this one? It came up at my mother's house. Please do not touch it! He said he understood.
I went back inside and cleaned and did laundry and at lunchtime I thought I would walk out to see the progression. There it was. My bed. Hacked. Horribly Horribly hacked. My yellow lilac? Someone had stepped on it. Stepped on it.
I lost it. Cried my eyes out to my husband and to the foreman. I just couldn't understand how if I had been so specific how my wishes were not carried out. One guy came over and said it will grow back. I have genuinely never wanted to punch someone more.
The man kept saying tell me what I can do I am so sorry, please I will replace whatever you want. Well, he can't. These are not plants you buy at a store.
They will grow back. It will probably be even more beautiful next year. Time will tell.
Life lesson to learn from this. Open your ears and hearts to those around you. When they are giving you instructions are you really listening our are you just waiting for them to stop talking and then doing it your way? Are they telling you about something that has hurt them and you are trying to figure out what you are going to make for dinner or how you are going to pick up the kids on time. Is it a person that you just run into at a store? You might see anger where there is hurt, you might see joy where there is pain, you might see plants where there are memories. Pay attention and live intentionally.
I am the type of a person that would rather have an azalea than a vase of cut flowers because I can enjoy it for years to come. I love the idea of planting a tree for special occasions because as the tree grows you will look on it and remember that event. It is one of my things it is how I am.
Today we hired landscapers to come clean up and mulch the beds around the house. It needed to be done. It looked bad and was required. However, my bed was not to be touched. I even went out this morning when the landscapers arrived in my pajamas and walked the foreman over to my bed. I said this bed has been hand weeded by me, the only thing you are doing to it is mulching it do you understand? I said do you see this plant? It is not a weed. It is a yellow lilac. Do you know how hard it is to get a yellow lilac to grow? All you are doing in this bed is mulching it right? Right was his reply. I showed him another one of my baby lilacs I said do you see this one? It came up at my mother's house. Please do not touch it! He said he understood.
I went back inside and cleaned and did laundry and at lunchtime I thought I would walk out to see the progression. There it was. My bed. Hacked. Horribly Horribly hacked. My yellow lilac? Someone had stepped on it. Stepped on it.
I lost it. Cried my eyes out to my husband and to the foreman. I just couldn't understand how if I had been so specific how my wishes were not carried out. One guy came over and said it will grow back. I have genuinely never wanted to punch someone more.
The man kept saying tell me what I can do I am so sorry, please I will replace whatever you want. Well, he can't. These are not plants you buy at a store.
They will grow back. It will probably be even more beautiful next year. Time will tell.
Life lesson to learn from this. Open your ears and hearts to those around you. When they are giving you instructions are you really listening our are you just waiting for them to stop talking and then doing it your way? Are they telling you about something that has hurt them and you are trying to figure out what you are going to make for dinner or how you are going to pick up the kids on time. Is it a person that you just run into at a store? You might see anger where there is hurt, you might see joy where there is pain, you might see plants where there are memories. Pay attention and live intentionally.
Put down the pebble.
How much does a pebble weigh that you pick up off the ground? This isn't a trick question just a small kicking stone that you can find on any road out there. Not much right? A toddler could easily hold a handful of them and not complain right? One could be in your pocket and you wouldn't even know it right?
Take that same pebble and hold it high in the air. Arm extended straight out and do not drop it for anything. Don't lower your arm. Don't drop the pebble. How heavy is it now? Still pretty light? How about after a few hours...days...weeks...years?
Imagine that pebble as a problem that you are dealing with. Your problem may not seem like much. You can handle it. Why bother others with it? Everyone has their own pebble right? Wrong.
You matter. Things that bother you matter. You have a right to be heard. You do not have to quietly suffer in order to not rock the boat.
Go back to our pebble. Let's say you put down the pebble. Release the problem. Now your arms are rested ready for the next pebble life throws at you. You are not distracted by the pain of the pebble you have been holding on to.
Today I want you to think about what it is that is bothering you. What is your pebble? Can you fix it? Can talking to someone else fix it? Can a deep ugly cry help? Do whatever it takes to live this life fully without the distraction of an ornery pebble.
You are loved. Your feelings matter. Put down that stupid pebble.
Take that same pebble and hold it high in the air. Arm extended straight out and do not drop it for anything. Don't lower your arm. Don't drop the pebble. How heavy is it now? Still pretty light? How about after a few hours...days...weeks...years?
Imagine that pebble as a problem that you are dealing with. Your problem may not seem like much. You can handle it. Why bother others with it? Everyone has their own pebble right? Wrong.
You matter. Things that bother you matter. You have a right to be heard. You do not have to quietly suffer in order to not rock the boat.
Go back to our pebble. Let's say you put down the pebble. Release the problem. Now your arms are rested ready for the next pebble life throws at you. You are not distracted by the pain of the pebble you have been holding on to.
Today I want you to think about what it is that is bothering you. What is your pebble? Can you fix it? Can talking to someone else fix it? Can a deep ugly cry help? Do whatever it takes to live this life fully without the distraction of an ornery pebble.
You are loved. Your feelings matter. Put down that stupid pebble.
Monday, June 9, 2014
There's a nut in this shell.
A friend of mine is going through chemotherapy with her mother. She wrote an update about how much she enjoyed working with seniors and would always make sure to treat them just as she would any other client because just because they were having to manage a body that had a lot of wear and tear on it didn't mean that the spirit was any different.
It's true you know. I have felt the same way and I'm only 41. People treat you differently. I'm not saying it's always bad. They call you mam. They are surprised when you think something is funny that is more from their generation. It's just people forget that the mind doesn't change the body does.
Imagine a piece of candy rolling down a hill. It will pick up dirt and rocks and limbs. It will get bigger and bigger until it is totally unrecognizable as a piece of candy, but it is still candy at its core. If you were to wash off all that it had picked up it would still be the same sweet treat you know and love, but to look at it with dirt and hair on it...not so much.
The same applies to me. Weight wise. I realize that if you have only known me for the last 12 years you probably don't know me as a normal weight but I have really allowed myself to pack on the pounds. Depression, boredom, hormones you name it, the pounds have slowly escalated to a point that I am uncomfortable with myself. I realize that I need to do something about that but that is not where the topic of this entry lies.
I hate how people treat me. How people look at me. It isn't my imagination. It is very real and I realize that I probably do it too. I'm not talking about people who know me. I'm talking about total strangers on the street. When people are morbidly obese it is shocking, something to stare at as it were. The thing is there is still a person in that suit of skin. A person that wants to be loved, listened to and respected. It isn't until I see myself in a mirror or realize that I can't fit into pants I used to wear that I am brought down to reality because in a world without mirrors I still feel 16 and fabulous. I still think people are going to like me just because I'm happy go lucky and they just don't.
The next time you go into the world I want you to imagine that you are at a giant costume party. That you have no actual clue what people are like until you face to face talk to them. Kindness, Gentleness and laughter are like drugs to me. I crave them. When I do not get them I get depressed thus most of my issues. I will work on my health, but I also want to work on making sure the people I run into feel better about themselves when they leave me than they did before. We must build each other up people. Show love.
It's true you know. I have felt the same way and I'm only 41. People treat you differently. I'm not saying it's always bad. They call you mam. They are surprised when you think something is funny that is more from their generation. It's just people forget that the mind doesn't change the body does.
Imagine a piece of candy rolling down a hill. It will pick up dirt and rocks and limbs. It will get bigger and bigger until it is totally unrecognizable as a piece of candy, but it is still candy at its core. If you were to wash off all that it had picked up it would still be the same sweet treat you know and love, but to look at it with dirt and hair on it...not so much.
The same applies to me. Weight wise. I realize that if you have only known me for the last 12 years you probably don't know me as a normal weight but I have really allowed myself to pack on the pounds. Depression, boredom, hormones you name it, the pounds have slowly escalated to a point that I am uncomfortable with myself. I realize that I need to do something about that but that is not where the topic of this entry lies.
I hate how people treat me. How people look at me. It isn't my imagination. It is very real and I realize that I probably do it too. I'm not talking about people who know me. I'm talking about total strangers on the street. When people are morbidly obese it is shocking, something to stare at as it were. The thing is there is still a person in that suit of skin. A person that wants to be loved, listened to and respected. It isn't until I see myself in a mirror or realize that I can't fit into pants I used to wear that I am brought down to reality because in a world without mirrors I still feel 16 and fabulous. I still think people are going to like me just because I'm happy go lucky and they just don't.
The next time you go into the world I want you to imagine that you are at a giant costume party. That you have no actual clue what people are like until you face to face talk to them. Kindness, Gentleness and laughter are like drugs to me. I crave them. When I do not get them I get depressed thus most of my issues. I will work on my health, but I also want to work on making sure the people I run into feel better about themselves when they leave me than they did before. We must build each other up people. Show love.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Water park fashion.
My children and I ventured to a local water park on Monday to celebrate the beginning of summer. I am not a small woman so I was a bit concerned about displaying all that is me for all the world to see. Not only because my skin would blind my fellow water park goers but also because I don't want to offend.
Now. In retrospect, I really shouldn't have even been concerned but you live and learn. I wore a one piece swimsuit with swim shorts over top. It was as if I were wearing one of those swimsuits from the early 1900's hat included. Can we discuss a few of my issues?
I wanted to approach just about everyone and say out of all of the swimsuits that the world had to offer this is really the choice that you thought best represented you? I quickly found that the individuals that wore the conservative one pieces were more so the ones that their body type would have been okay for a 2 piece. I found myself wanting to go over to those mothers and tell them I thought they were raising their girls with a much better perspective of how to present themselves to the world in order to gain the respect that we all truly deserve. I didn't though because I do not feel comfortable walking up to a complete stranger when I am half naked. It's just a thing I have.
A friend once taught me about high crack and low crack. This phenomenon was well represented on Monday. Are you familiar with this? Let me just say that if you have high crack I don't care how skinny you are a 2 piece may still not be the look for you. That being said I want to add that the whole water park had a horrible crack problem that had nothing to do with drugs.
String bikinis. Have you ever heard the expression 10 pounds of potatoes in a 1 pound bag? Well this was more like 300 pounds of potatoes in a 1 ounce bag. Rule of thumb. If when you put on a swimsuit and you look in the mirror and a majority of the swimsuit is not visible, because your skin is covering it....move on to the next swimsuit. The job of a swimsuit is to cover your parts. If your parts are covering your swimsuit it is defective....move on.
I want to touch on tattoos. I don't have a problem with a nice tattoo. I don't even have a problem with a full body tattoo if it is done well. I'm not really big on tattoos on the face but that's just me. Tattoos can be works of art. I want to go on record as to say that it takes a special kind of person to have a tattoo. This plays on many levels. Hear me out....
If you are doing something because you love it then it is one thing. If you are doing something because everyone else is doing it and you want to be "cool" you just end up looking out of place. Some of the tattoos I saw on Monday were indeed works of art and had excellent placement. On the other hand, random cartoon characters gallivanting all willy nilly about ones body....not so much.
As I finish up this little blog entry, yes, I do realize how horribly critical I am being, and yes I realize that the people that were at the water park were not only oblivious to my concerns but my little rant will not change their mind the next time.
Lesson to be learned. It is a big planet. A planet filled with billions of people that were all raised differently from you. You will have similarities with each of them even if it is just that you both enjoy oxygen. The next time you meet someone that is a polar opposite from you rather than being appalled by their differences try to find the similarity. You just might end up being surprised with what you find.
Now. In retrospect, I really shouldn't have even been concerned but you live and learn. I wore a one piece swimsuit with swim shorts over top. It was as if I were wearing one of those swimsuits from the early 1900's hat included. Can we discuss a few of my issues?
I wanted to approach just about everyone and say out of all of the swimsuits that the world had to offer this is really the choice that you thought best represented you? I quickly found that the individuals that wore the conservative one pieces were more so the ones that their body type would have been okay for a 2 piece. I found myself wanting to go over to those mothers and tell them I thought they were raising their girls with a much better perspective of how to present themselves to the world in order to gain the respect that we all truly deserve. I didn't though because I do not feel comfortable walking up to a complete stranger when I am half naked. It's just a thing I have.
A friend once taught me about high crack and low crack. This phenomenon was well represented on Monday. Are you familiar with this? Let me just say that if you have high crack I don't care how skinny you are a 2 piece may still not be the look for you. That being said I want to add that the whole water park had a horrible crack problem that had nothing to do with drugs.
String bikinis. Have you ever heard the expression 10 pounds of potatoes in a 1 pound bag? Well this was more like 300 pounds of potatoes in a 1 ounce bag. Rule of thumb. If when you put on a swimsuit and you look in the mirror and a majority of the swimsuit is not visible, because your skin is covering it....move on to the next swimsuit. The job of a swimsuit is to cover your parts. If your parts are covering your swimsuit it is defective....move on.
I want to touch on tattoos. I don't have a problem with a nice tattoo. I don't even have a problem with a full body tattoo if it is done well. I'm not really big on tattoos on the face but that's just me. Tattoos can be works of art. I want to go on record as to say that it takes a special kind of person to have a tattoo. This plays on many levels. Hear me out....
If you are doing something because you love it then it is one thing. If you are doing something because everyone else is doing it and you want to be "cool" you just end up looking out of place. Some of the tattoos I saw on Monday were indeed works of art and had excellent placement. On the other hand, random cartoon characters gallivanting all willy nilly about ones body....not so much.
As I finish up this little blog entry, yes, I do realize how horribly critical I am being, and yes I realize that the people that were at the water park were not only oblivious to my concerns but my little rant will not change their mind the next time.
Lesson to be learned. It is a big planet. A planet filled with billions of people that were all raised differently from you. You will have similarities with each of them even if it is just that you both enjoy oxygen. The next time you meet someone that is a polar opposite from you rather than being appalled by their differences try to find the similarity. You just might end up being surprised with what you find.
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