Get your facts straight.

I was listening to the radio yesterday.  I don't normally do this because I enjoy the peace and quiet but my kids wanted it on so I turned it on.  A person was on there talking about something that he had overheard.  Now, he fully admitted that his radio was on and that he wasn't completely paying attention but he repeated what he thought he heard.  What he thought he heard was completely inflammatory and most certainly would send listeners into a tailspin of "How dare they!" combined with a whole lot of "Who do they think they are!!??".

Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't.  He admitted he wasn't sure so here is my point to my rant this morning.  WHY EVEN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT?  Why is it that the stories that we want to share with the world are the ones that are ridiculous and anger provoking?  Why is it that we share things that we didn't see first hand especially if they are inflammatory?

I will return to my mother's advice.  If you don't have anything nice to say, then just say nothing at all.

I am in the middle of an inflammatory situation.  I did not do the things that I am being accused of and yet to some that don't even know me at all I am guilty as charged.  I am more than positive that if anyone else had been put in the same position they would have reacted exactly as I did and if they knew the facts would thank me but they don't know the facts and so life goes on.

This world has got enough bad, enough horrific, enough injustices.  If those are  the types of stories that you want to see then by all means watch the news.   However, might I challenge you this morning?

2 things.  1.  Don't repeat sensational stories.  As hard as that might be just don't.   2. If you hear a sensational story go to the person that it is about and say I heard this about you is it true.  My guess is the sensational story will change drastically.

Shut down the rumor mills people, because when they are up and running they get off track quickly.

Spread joy.  Spread love.  Spread kindness.  If you can't then take a moment to make the world a better place and duct tape your lips shut.

1983 me.

Meet me only circa 1983.  6th grade.  This is me when I was my daughters age.  11.  I have boy hair and a jacked up tooth just like my son did before he had braces.  I didn't have braces.  I remember borrowing a little rubber band from a friend of mine that had braces and putting it on that bad boy and I fixed it myself.  I feel my parents owe me a couple of thousand for that little feat don't you?
All through middle and high school I could have cared less what I wore or how I looked.  I remember feeling really good about myself when my sister Rachel would put me in her clothes or I had a matching outfit but I didn't make it a priority.
This picture was taken before the bicycle accident in which my lip fell off so I do notice some slight differences in myself.  Ok, no I don't but I do feel my nose is a bit different now.
Why am I showing you 11 year old me?
This was me.  I wish my hair was longer and fixed.  I wish I had on a cute outfit, but I didn't and you know what?  I don't remember caring one bit.  I remember the vending machine that for a quarter you got 2 pencils that were neat.  I remember loving my math teacher so much because she was nice.  I remember Amy Mason, because she got me.  She understood my oddities and she didn't care she liked me anyway.  I remember my mom having a snack for me when I got home.
I worry so much over the happiness of my children.  I don't remember the meanness that they are dealing with, could possibly be that I am oblivious to that stuff.  I don't remember having to have the latest and greatest...again with the oblivious thing.
I look back on my life and sure there are some things that I would have changed.  I would have loved to have been in any kind of sport or activity.  I wish I had cousins that I was close to, but honestly...truthfully I can not complain.  I have had a pretty fantastic life to this point and I hope for many more blessed years to come.
So, tonight as you go to bed remember you won't add one second to your life by worrying but you will most certainly lose precious moments if you do.  Life is going to work itself out.  Share love with those around you.  Do not promote ill will, and most importantly love yourself just the way you are.  Jacked up tooth, sad hair and all.

MOMMY!!!

My entire life all I wanted to be was a mom.  I didn't even really care about what my actual degree was in because I just wanted to stay home and take care of babies.  I loved babies, and toddlers, and any age child.  I would judge people on their parenting because in my mind it was going to be the greatest most perfect time in my life and there would be no downside whatsoever!!  If a parent was being mean to their child or ignoring their child I would glare at them for being selfish heartless beings. 

I just want to go ahead and put this out there....I was wrong. 

Not completely, I want to say because I still judge selfish parenting.  There is most definitely a difference between not listening to a child screaming mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy because they want their 14th treat of the day, and the parent that has their child at Walmart at 12:30 AM and the poor child is just crying because they should be at home in bed!! 

Can someone please explain to me why it is that you have to purchase a license to fish, you have to have license to drive a car, you have to be a certain age to vote, to smoke, to drink but if you want to  create another human being at any age...by all means.  Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I want some sort of communist government or anything I'm just saying that if a person is going to take on parenting I feel they should at least pass a quiz. 

I love my children, but since we are being completely honest sometimes I don't like my children.  Like when I have asked that they hang their towel or put their dirty clothes in the hamper and yet day after day this life mystery seems to elude them.  How about when they get mad at me because I won't allow them to have something sugary when all they have had that day is a festival of carbohydrates and crap.  My personal favorite is when they tell me I am wrong.  Just so we are clear....I'm not wrong.  If I am wrong I admit it, but typically if we are dealing with the knowledge base of a child 13 years or younger or an over 40 year old woman who has held a job and has a mortgage and my money is going to be on the 40 something every single time. (Unless we are talking about pop culture or electronics and lets me honest I don't have a dog in that fight anyway.) 

Parenting is hard. It isn't all coloring and baking.   If you want to color you have to be ready for them to be over it way before you are, and if you want to bake you have to realize that there is going to be a mess.  I am very thankful for my children.  I have loved every stage that we have encountered together.  Funny how I don't have any desire to go back and repeat a stage. Can I just suggest that if you aren't sure if you are ready to be a parent, or if you even want to be a parent that you get a puppy first.  See how that goes for you, if you get annoyed by needing to take them outside to go to the bathroom or by the way they smell or are mad that they chewed your coffee table... parenting just might not be your thing. 

 

Brandon Gourley

A high school friend of mine posted in facebook the other day that she could remember an exercise routine that our gym teacher had taught us to a Lionel Richie song.  I don't remember this.  I barely remembered the name of the teacher and without her saying it I can guarantee you I would not have been able to pull that out of long term memory.  Isn't it funny the stuff you remember?  After reading my friends post I sat there trying to see what I could remember of my middle school/ high school days and it really isn't that much.  A few tidbits here and there but otherwise...nada.  The stuff I do remember is completely random and honestly if someone were to remember me for something positive more than 25 years later I would want to know.


Brandon Gourley.  Handsome. Blonde. Quarterback of the football team.  I knew him but we weren't besties or anything.  Everyone knew Brandon he was very popular.  I was the quirky band girl that was more popular at church than I ever was at school. 

One lovely fall Saturday evening we had a band competition in Oak Ridge, Tennessee.  There was a beautiful girl named Lori French that was a majorette for the band and Brandon liked her, or dated her, or wanted to date her, again...not good with the memory stuff.  Anyway, Brandon came to our band competition with several other football players and watched us perform.  This was huge!  How many friday nights had we sat in the rain and cold and supported our football boys and now here they were supporting us. 

I want to say that the cynical side of me is sitting here thinking their intentions were probably not so valiant but back then it was a beautiful gesture. 

I remember that vividly.  I can remember the news that some of the football team was there to cheer for us going through the band like wildfire.  I am guessing that those football boys were just looking for something to do on a Saturday night and don't even remember that it happened, but I do.  Vividly, and that is saying something because I don't remember much. 

Brandon Gourley didn't know me.  He probably didn't even know I was there that night.  He was there to see Lori and to him that was the end of the story, but my interpretation of him and other members of the football team simply showing up made a lifelong lasting impression on me. 

Go out.  Do kind things.  You never know who is watching. 

I'm ok with being politically incorrect.

I love Jesus.  I love people.  Not all of the people I love, love Jesus but Jesus loves all of the people even the ones I don't love.

I think he is better than anything this world can even dream up.  He will forgive anything.  He will love anyone.  He is every good thing and none of the bad things.  If you say that you do not believe in God it is your right, but I want to say this.

I believe in him.  I love him with my whole heart.  I am imperfect.  I am selfish.  I am not worthy of his love and he loves me anyway.  Just so you know he loves you too, even if you don't believe in him.  He is not going to force himself on you, but he is always there.  In every beautiful sunrise or sunset.  In every starry sky.  In every wave of the ocean or the view from every mountain top.

I am not called to judge you or shame you into believing into God, but because I love you if I hadn't told you where I stand I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.  You were created for a purpose.  You are loved.

Waterparkopia and more observations therein.

The kids and I made another trek into the world of waterparkopia.  The observations this time were disturbing to the point that I need to share this information so that it made be spread, people will learn from it and the world will indeed be a better place.

The kids were playing on one of those spray ground things.  You know the kind with slides and steps and giant buckets of water that fill up and dump every few seconds.  I was sitting at the bottom observing as I often do.  The following are my most recent observations.

I was impressed to see the amount of toddlers that were being allowed to discover the playset on their own without an adult close enough to "fix" whatever they were getting into.  I am more and more impressed with this as I observe life.  I now think it is extremely important to allow a child to make their own mistakes and learn from them.  If you are always fixing your child's mistakes how are they to learn how to do it on their own when you are gone.  

The thing is, there was this one 2 year old walking around without an escort but with a straw.   The kind of straw you drink with...at a water park.  The 2 year old was taking the straw and putting it in the drains all around the spray ground and getting himself a drink.  Every drain.  Lots of drinks.  On a positive note that child is going to have a crazy strong immune system.  You know after he gets past the diarrhea and vomiting.

Thing two that I observed.  While I am a firm believer in buying clothing that will fit my children for more than one season I have decided that this is not to be done with swim suits.  If the child's swimsuit is too large there is a problem, with boys it is a horrible crack problem, and with girls it is the appearance to have dropped a load if you know what I mean.  Not attractive either way.

Thing three.  Manscaping.  I understand that men have hair on their chests.  However, if you only have small patches of hair around your nipples and it looks like two little troll dolls have attached themselves to your moobs and are holding on for dear life you have got to trim those bad boys up!

Thing four.  The white swimsuit be it male or female looks way better dry than wet.

Thing five.  If you are not going to bother yourself with the opinions of others in whether or not you are too big or too small for your swimsuit I can appreciate that.  You can be fierce in anything you choose to put on.  However, could you at least make sure that all of the parts that typically don't see the light of day are still covered or at the very least have impaired vision?

Why?

Some things that have been bothering me as of late.

We visited the nations capitol 4th of July weekend.  It was crazy crowded with not only Americans but also foreigners.  I am unhappy to report that the "selfie" is an international thing.  I witnessed a young woman, looking to be of Indian descent, wandering around the WWII memorial not necessarily because she is interested in the intricacies of the memorial but in fact because she was apparently looking for the perfect position for her selfie, either that or this poor girl has hundreds of pictures of herself at the memorial...hundreds.

My husband and I traveled quite extensively before children both nationally and internationally.  We were often confronted with American's being thought of as rude because they were not culturally respectful and demanded that the people of the country only speak English.  We would try to be sensitive to that and at least learn enough of the language to get by and read up on dos and don'ts.  I'm here to tell you that after this visit to our Nation's capitol it is not just Americans that are rude.  Rudeness crosses all cultures.

My patience with small children is at an all time low.  It could be due to my hormones.  It could be that my fuse has been used up on my own children.  Either way I am very quick to get annoyed by small children whining.  My personal favorite of this trip was a small child that was pitching a fit in the restroom because she didn't want to sit down to use the restroom.  You heard me...SHE.  If this is a cultural thing I'm pretty sure it is one that I will not be sensitive to.  All I can picture is wet socks.  Ew.

Can we touch on the selfie phenomenon once more?  Could we make a rule?  If you can scroll down on your Facebook wall and find a picture that is somewhat similar could you not post the new one?  Unless you have had yourself surgically altered, there are multiple people, you are in a location that is not your bathroom or your car NO ONE CARES!!!

If you are incapable of realizing that you are not the only person on the road.  You are not entitled to the lane you are in.  You must drive with the understanding that in order for there to be a good flow one must take into consideration the needs of not only oneself but also the needs of others.  If you are to selfish to this by all means...ride the bus.

I guess that's all for now.  Ok.  Probably not but I don't want to bore you.

Blackbird Bakery

You know how there are signs before every interstate exit telling you what gas stations, restaurants and hotels are at each exit?  Well, between Knoxville, TN and Abingdon, VA there is one of those boards that only has one restaurant listed.  The blackbird bakery.  My family drives to Abingdon, VA from time to time to go to the Barter theatre.  Side note: If you have never been to Barter theatre in Abingdon, VA you should totally go!!

Anyway.  Back to the sign.  It has always intrigued me.  I thought do they have food or just sweets.  Why is it the only restaurant listed?  Is it cute or is it something beside a gas station.  Well, today I had asked some friends where we should go have lunch and low and behold right next to where we parked for the restaurant they had suggested was the Blackbird bakery!

We, of course, had to go in.  I need to tell you something first.  My son is Alexander, he is 13 years old.  He is very literal and has a quick wit that often times flies over the heads of even adults!  Alexander was with me on this little venture.

In we walked.  To the right is a window seat with stools that face a counter that is butted up against the window looking out to the street.  All the way back are tables.  To the left is the counter.  The decadent, beautiful, sugary counter.  Imagine the most extravagant bakery you have ever seen and this is like that only on crack!  I had no idea what to order.  Everything looked like something that needed to be tried.  Everything was frosted, sprinkled, drizzled and toasted to the patrons delight.

Now, I am Jim Pierson's daughter, and if you don't know him I will tell you that he can talk to a brick wall and have a perfectly fantastic conversation...not literally, just meaning that he loves people and so do I.  So I leaned forward to the woman in line in front of me and asked have you been here before?  She indeed had.  I said What do you get when you come here?

Without missing a beat Alexander said Diabetes?

Love that child.

The day I lost my self esteem

I have never lacked in self confidence as it pertains to being able to walk up to a stranger and talk to them.  I enjoy the art of converting a frowning person into a smiling one.  The thing is when it comes to self confidence about my appearance...there really is none.

I have never been one to be fussy about if my clothes match or if my hair and makeup are presentable.  I have to say that if I were not married to my husband I would probably look like a cave woman most of the time because it just has never been a priority.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I look bad when I wander out into the world I'm just saying it isn't a on the front burner of my life, and to be honest I had never given it a second thought until I started college.  I had gone to a local pool with some new friends of mine and a 10 year old boy walked up to us flirting.  He was impressive with his knowledge of the art of wooing a woman.  It was sad really I wondered who on earth had taught him that so early on and why he even cared and then it happened.  He had been throwing his lines about asking questions and what not and I responded to one of the questions.  He said Oh honey I ain't talking to you.  You ain't all that.  He went on telling me how I wasn't his type and pretty much slamming any bit of self confidence I had in the dirt.

He was 10 years old why did I care?  I will say that at the time I probably acted tough, said something mean to him and we left but here I am more 25 years later and I can remember the encounter so it definitely stung a bit.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

Stupidest rhyme known to man.  Words penetrate far beyond physical pain.  I don't think of that little boy often, mostly when I am feeling down about myself or negative.  I have had people say nice things about me in the past do those things come to the front of my thoughts when I am down?  No, of course not.

As you go about your day today be kind.  You never know who might need your mercy and grace.

Inside Out.

How is it that a children's movie can have such a profound effect on an adult?  Pixar's latest edition has done quite the number on me.  If you haven't seen it I do suggest it.  The images are beautiful and when you realize that it is all animated the talents that these people possess is awe inspiring.

The thing is they made me think, and I don't like to do that.

The basic story is that inside every one's head there are 5 basic emotions controlling a person's day to day thoughts.  Joy, sadness, fear, anger and disgust.  The main character moves with her family and in this process her Joy and sadness fall away from her control panel and have to find their way back.  The movie is the story of how they get back.  It has a sweet message, but.....

I am about to turn 43.  I am a hormonal mess.  I can turn a children's movie into a life message aimed directly at me in 2 seconds flat.

My entire life I have been such a joyful person.  I love to laugh.  I love to make people laugh.  I love people, but lately my joy has just not been there.  So this movie got me thinking that my poor little joy has fallen out of the controls and can't find her way back.  I could sit her and wallow in the depressive nature that is this world of sin or I can get over it...

What to do, what to do...

Today's prescription was a last minute invite to a birthday party where I got to spend some time with a sweet new friend and her family.  Followed by a telephone conversation with my long time smile maker Leah who has the most uncanny ability to make me laugh at nothing at all.  I'm not saying I am out of my funk.  I am however saying that you have to go outside of your head for help.  (Which is what the movie is saying....I think)

If you feel alone, I am sorry.  I know the feeling, even if we aren't really alone or even if we actually are it still is a horrible feeling and I am indeed sorry.  Call me we will chat it out...laugh it out...or if it is really bad I will give you Leah's number, she's awesome!!

Time flies!

There I was trolling around facebook waiting for the washer to stop so I could continue the dance of the laundry room fairy when it hit me.  A photographer that I had used to shoot the kids and their cousins for my mother in laws birthday present was posting pictures of a somewhat familiar face.  The bride was beautiful, but who was she?  I looked through the pictures and then it hit me.  The father of the bride was a friend of mine from high school's husband.

Long ago, some 26 year ago to be exact I was the assistant drum major for my high school band Crystal was the drum major.  She and I had grown up in church and church camp together.  Crystal was a highly intelligent very organized young woman.  Crystal was one year ahead of me in school and when she graduated she went to the college that I would be attending after I graduated.

I knew that she had left college and gotten married.  I have kept up with her through my mother over the years because she and my parents live in the same neighborhood.  I knew that she had 2 girls and one boy.  This is what I knew.

Fast forward to today when I am staring at a beautiful bride.

Wow!  A woman one year older than I am has a grown woman for a daughter?  How can this be?
It didn't completely come as a shock to me I am not completely in denial it was this past year when I realized that the new students at my college weren't even born when I graduated...NOT EVEN BORN!!!

My children are 13 and 11.  Contrary to popular belief it does not feel like just yesterday when they were babies.  Parenting is the hardest most selfless act I have ever done in my life.  My guess is the "feels like just yesterday" feelings come when they are no longer home and you are missing them.  I am still smack dab in the middle of MOM!!! She won't stop looking at me!!!  MOM!!  He hit me!!!  MOM!!! I'm starving to death!!  (right after lunch)  MOM!!!  Where are you?!

I love my children!  I just sometimes miss me.  I'm not ashamed to say it.  There are parts of me that look forward to the days when I can yet once again plan something for myself without having to come up with a power point presentation in order to accomplish the task.

I just don't want for it to go by too fast because all to soon that young woman staring back at me will be my own.

Single pot watcher.

I remember the days when I was single.  I so wanted to be married.  I would hang out with my married friends and play with their kids.  Weekends were excruciating.  I would do everything I could to keep myself occupied but I was so very lonely!!  I could only see what I didn't have and not what I did.  All of my friends had husbands and kids and that was what I wanted.  So, instead of enjoying the time that I had to be just me I wasted it.  Looking back I want to say, I was an idiot.

I didn't have to worry about someone else's meals, I didn't have to worry about cleaning anything if I didn't want to.  I didn't have to do anything!  If I wanted to change jobs and move to another town I totally could have!  Why didn't I?  I don't know.  I couldn't see the forest for the trees I guess.

I have a beautiful friend.  She has just come to the end of a relationship.  She is sad, thus I am sad for her, but at the same time I want to bathe her in the knowledge that this break up is just God's way of saving her from heartache later on.  This man was not good enough for her, the role he plays in her happily ever after will merely be considered Boyfriend scene 24 when the credits role.  He played a role but it was more to make her appreciate what her future holds.

Why do we always choose to underestimate the power that God has?  We can not even begin to grasp all that he has in store for us if we choose to come to know him.

Matthew 7: 9 - 11
Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?

God knows the perfect plan for us.  He has the perfect gift.  The only catch is you have to wait on God.  He can see the big picture.  Trust him.  Wait on him.  Take this time of not knowing to draw closer to him.

A friend told me before I got married your spouse will love you so much that they will think they don't deserve you and you will love them so much that you will think that you don't deserve them either.  You will spend the rest of your lives loving one another in order to deserve that love.

If you are focused on something that is making you sad, shift your focus.  What you think you want just might not be in store for you right now.  Find something completely different that makes you happy and focus on that for now you never know what will happen when you aren't watching the pot boil.

Simmer down now.

I was walking through the mall yesterday with my kiddos.  It was 100 degrees so even the pool didn't seem appealing.  We needed to get some lunch after several appointments, and this being 1 month into summer I am tired of little petty fights so deciding where we were going to eat lunch was not an option.  The food court was the perfect solution.

On our way there we were approached by several kiosk people.  I am one to get a  migraine whenever I am confronted with strong perfumes so I am always quick to say no.  I said no to one young man and he laughed at me.  I realized after we passed that he was handing out something for hair.  My guess is something to do with frizz.

Thus today's post.

I know I am getting older because I have caught myself saying the phrase "It isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity".  What am I 90?

I have purchased so many Anti frizz, anti humidity, straighteners, and smoothers that I could start my own store.  So, when I have worked hard preparing my hair for the day and I get a laugh from the kiosk man it is a bit unnerving.  Don't you judge me kiosk man.

The thing is he is right.  I take the time to put on make up and do my hair and the second I step out of my car I can feel it.  The makeup is "glistening" off and the hair is starting to inflate, thus by the time I actually get to where I am going I look like I didn't try at all.  Now I ask you what is the point?!  If I actually do nothing the outcome is even more disturbing than the I tried but it all fell apart so that isn't an option.

I am not a trust fund socialite so having someone walk around with me doing my hair and makeup all day is not an option either.  What is a girl to do?

Here is what I have come up with.  I am going to wear the only accessory that outshines the rest.  A smile.  I am going to attempt to bring joy to others and not be a hot wet wool blanket to anyone's day.  God has blessed me far more than I deserve it is my duty to pass along those blessings.  After all pony tails and big sunglasses work wonders.

Waterpark wonderings.

My kids and I visited a local waterpark yesterday.  In my older years I am getting less and less about the thrill of sliding down a twisting tube and more about sitting at the bottom and waiting for the excitement to be over.  I'm still very much okay to go and experience the goings on of a waterpark just not so much the near death experiences that some of the rides hold.

The lazy river is right up my alley.  I do believe that there should be a lazy river for those that are not quite so lazy as others though.  I could fall asleep in that bad boy if it weren't for the individuals who get bored after 2 minutes and decide to run through the lazy river....What is lazy about that?

I had some observations that I would like to share with you now but please remember these are merely observations.  I am not judging these individuals for their "choices" nor to I mean to make fun of them in any way.  I am just observing....objectively.

1. Just because the bikini comes in your size does not mean that you should wear it.

2. Spandex, while a fantastic invention, does have its limitations.

3. There is such a thing as too skinny.

4. No matter what a grandmother looks like in a bathing suit I will always be impressed that she is out there playing with her grandchildren.

5. It is important to get help on your back when using a self tanner.

6. The matching hat, heels, and bathing suit combo might not be appropriate for a waterpark.

7. It is surprisingly satisfying to see a woman in full makeup and matchy matchy outfit get pelted with a giant bucket of 100's of gallons of water.

8.  Manscaping is just as important as ladyscaping.

I am always thankful for the times I have with my children.  I am blessed with this time with them.  Thank you God for summer break.

Hormonal mess

I don't mind age so much.  I don't feel old therefore I am not old.  Only problem is that lately my hormones have been wreaking havoc on my personality.  My doctor says that if I will get 150 minutes of cardio weekly it is clinically proven to be just like taking an anti depressant.  Cool.  Slight problem.  I am so down I don't feel like getting the 150 minutes of cardio.

I have no reason to be down.  I am blessed beyond measure, and yet here I am near tears with a feeling of hopelessness like you wouldn't believe!  I hate it.  I can track it to the day on a calendar.  You would think I would figure it out and plan ahead.

I feel lonely, yet I am not alone.  I feel like no one likes me, yet I have many beautiful friends.  I feel like I can do nothing right, yet I have many talents and I am good at many things.

I've got to get off this computer and go out and find the joy.  I am mainly writing this because I know others feel this way, and I want you to know you are not alone.  You are beautiful.  You have many things to contribute to this crazy world.  You are perfect because you are you!

I will admit when I'm wrong.

I want to come clean on something.  In my last post, I was mad.  Very mad.  You see we are at the end of a long year of my child living out all of my parental insecurities.  A parent never wants their child to be the child sitting alone at lunch, or the child that is being ruthlessly bullied.  A parent never wants to think of their child as an outcast or the different child.

My child had gotten in the car that afternoon and proclaimed that there was a birthday party and the entire class, save 5 children, had gotten invited to said birthday party.  It was to be an extravagant event with a theme that my own child had asked for several years running.  A fellow classmate had come up and said to my child I'm sure you are invited I will ask the birthday boy.  The birthday boy confirmed, my child was not invited.

The thing is...SO WHAT!   This child has a right to have whatever kind of birthday party they want to have.  They have the right to invite whomever they want to invite or not invite.  Does it hurt to be the one not invited?  Sure, but guess what...life lesson!  Matthew 7:12  Do unto others as you would have done to you.

Fast forward a week.  A friend had a birthday party where she did indeed invite the entire class.  Children got hurt, there wasn't enough supervision, it was a madhouse.  Parents complained and I learned that you can never please everyone.

I am not sad for the school year to be over.  I very much enjoy having my children at home without the stressful dealings of life, for when we are home we can shut out the world and only allow in the people who agree with us and like us and want to be around us.

The thing is that isn't reality.  Life is not fair.  People are not nice, but guess what?  You can't go around letting the mean people win.  There are nice people and there are fun things that are going to happen to you if you get out there and live.

In the movie Finding Nemo, Nemo's dad says I don't want anything to happen to him!!!  Dory the fish says but if nothing ever happens to him, nothing will ever happen to him.

I want things to happen for my children.  I want them to understand disappointment so that they may better appreciate things.  I want them to understand hurt so that they will in turn not hurt.  I want them to understand that good friends are like a treasure that you have to search for and once you find them cherish them.

Happy treasure hunting my friends!!

It was an honor just to be nominated.

So, I'm angry.  I probably shouldn't be.  Don't really have any reason to be, but I am.  There is a birthday party today.  It was apparently all anyone could talk about today.  The entire 6th grade was invited, boys and girls!  It is a really cool party thrown by one of the wealthier families with cool stuff and it is a huge deal!  A few didn't get invited, thus the angry part.

We didn't invite this child to our party.  We also didn't invite the entire grade to the party.  A child came to our party who wasn't even invited and the child's parents never even explained why their child was there.  He came with someone who was invited and left when texted by whomever picked him up.  It was awkward.  I did the right thing.  I allowed the child to stay and participate and eat.  I never raised a ruckus..I guess until now but again to recap...I'm mad.

Middle school is hard enough without someone throwing an exclusive party.  I don't know these parents.  I'm not even sure my child would have gone had he been invited but when all anyone can talk about at school is this fabulous party and everyone is invited except you when you already are in the whole frame of mind that you don't fit in and no one likes you.....I'm frustrated.

I need someone to tell me when this gets easier.  I need someone to tell me that I am not the one messing up my kid.  I need someone to DO THE RIGHT THING.  

Elementary school graduation...

This little entry is more for me than you, but I wanted to write my thoughts down becasue after nine years my children are about to be out of the elementary school.  Please don't read this as my children are very slow, it is just the way their ages fall and our school has a preschool program and a fantastic pre-first program.  Reflecting on the teachers that they have had has caused me to reflect on my own elementary school education and to be honest I have had some epiphanies that I want to share with you now.

I started kindergarten in the fall of 1977.  New Hopewell Elementary Ms. Hunt.  She was fantastic.  She was tall, had long straight brown hair, was slender and oh so very kind.  She was not married and she loved us.  I can remember a time I got into trouble.  I was supposed to be in the housekeeping station and there was a frog outside in the art station and I was so proud to have caught the thing.  I turned around and the look on Mrs. Hunt's face was awful.  I had disappointed her.  She was not happy, but it was okay.  I took my punishment and we moved on.

First grade was Mrs. E.  She was a fiery sarcastic redhead that had a son a couple of years younger than us.  She was a bit distracted.  She was nicer than the other first grade teacher so I was pretty happy until one day when I needed to go to the bathroom.  I asked her permission and she said yes.  I went to said bathroom with a hall pass.  I had not even gotten down to business when Alisha McCarter came running in screaming that I was in trouble.  I got back and took one step in the room.  Mrs. East grabbed me by the back of my neck and threw me over a desk spanking me like crazy.  When she was done she said I hope you know better now.  I didn't. 

Second grade I had Mrs. C.  She was a friend of mine's mom.  I remember getting a U in art.  I remember my mom saying that was stupid how can anyone grade art. 

Third grade I had Mr. B.  It was my first male teacher.  I thought that was pretty cool.  He was.  The only thing I remember from the year is someone throwing up in class. 

Fourth grade I got Mrs. N.  My mother had heard all about Mrs. Newman from other mom's and didn't want me to have her.  I got her.  I thought she was great!  She was nice and fun and I loved 4th grade.  She must have found out that my mom didn't want her because I remember one lunch she took me over to the teacher's table to have me show the other teacher's what an interesting banana I had...it wasn't.  (Years later I had the moment of clarity realizing that she had been standing behind me and probably showing them who I was.) 

Fifth grade.  Worst possible year EVER.  Hated it.  Absolutely despised it.  Can not make it any clearer how even more than 30 years later I can remember things that happened in this class as clear as if they happened yesterday.  There was an odd number of girls and I didn't have a buddy.  I didn't dance and I didn't have a sport.  The teacher for some reason had decided she didn't like me. 

I would love to go back and look at 10 year old me.  I would love to know if it was more me than her but me being 10 and her being an adult I would go with it was more her.  The event that stands out the most is I had been told by some girls to write a love note to Marshall Dominic.  I didn't love Marshall Dominic.  I just wanted someone, anyone to talk to me.  So I did it.  I drew a little stick figure girl thinking about a little stick figure boy and asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend.  Mrs. B  saw the note get passed and grabbed it.  She then taped it to the board and had row after row go up look at the note and then come back and tell me how stupid I was.  Some of the kids didn't want to do it, some reveled in it.  It was humiliating and even more alienated me from my peers.  After lunch I went up to her and told her I would like to take it down and she said Yes, I think you've had enough. 

She's still alive.  She goes to my mother's hair dresser.  She is related to some people that go to church with me.  She probably has no recollection of this incident whatsoever!! 

Why did I write this?  I want to point out how very much the actions of these people are so strongly remembered by me almost 40 years later!!!  Live your life intentionally, live your life with kindness.  There is no reason to spread hate.  I don't care how insane that child drives you there is still no reason to spread hate.  Discipline?  Sure.  Sarcasm and hatred?  Not so much.  Be firm, but be kind.  It can be done. 

Random thoughts....

Does anyone else have thoughts that you really don't feel comfortable asking someone but you generally would like an answer to?  How about just strange train of thought type stuff that gets way out of hand and you end up cracking yourself up but it would be way to much of an explanation to bring anyone else in on the funny... ME TOO!!!  Here are a few.

1. Do you really want to eat the sushi that is 50%?  I mean I am totally ok with it in coupon form but if I walk in somewhere and they are trying to pass off their "Not quite too old sushi" in order to not lose all of their money I'm just not going to be in the market you know?

2. Why must we subject ourselves to the process of putting on eye makeup during allergy season?  My eyes water so much that it looks like I am a blubbering mess when in fact I am not...normally.  All the eye makeup then ends up off by say 10 am and it looks like I never tried in the first place.  Can we just save a step and assume I put it on and you just missed it?  I looked fabulous today in case you were wondering!

3. Can you freeze eggs?  Not like human eggs but like chicken eggs, to use later.  Do you crack them first?  What if you didn't.  What would that do?

4. Wouldn't it be great if you could DVR your dreams?

5. Do you ever find yourself driving and you have no clue where you are going?  Only to realize that you are going somewhere that you go a lot but that is not where you are supposed to be going and now you are late and screaming "Get your head in the game!" to which the guy in the car next to you is offended because he thinks you are talking to him, but you are so upset he doesn't realize that you are talking to yourself and he ends up flipping you off?

6. Why don't doctors have treasure chests for adults?  A nice smelling hand cream, a key chain, how about a pen or a loofah?  Why should kids be the only ones that get pointless junk at the end of their traumatic life experiences?

7. Is there a place in this world where people are judged not so much for what they look like but for their personalities?  I want to go there.  Mainly because there are some people out there that are extremely popular that have some pretty unfortunate personalities.


Just wondering...

The many faces of your life.

College girl.

Little girl    

Working girl in Miami

You see these pictures?  They are all me.  They are all taken from different aspects of my life.  I could add middle school, high school, college worker, camper, youth group.  The funny thing is the only face my kids know is that of me as mom.  Sometimes I get down about that.  I wonder what is next for me.  What will I be when I am no longer the care giver of these precious blessings that God has given me. 

It will come soon enough I keep reminding myself.  There will be many more faces of me.  

It has made me way more conscious of others I will say.   

As you meet someone for the first time I want you to remember something.  The person you meet today does not define who that person is.  You might meet someone who has had a hard life or a recent death or is even so down on their luck they are homeless.  You don't know why or what got them to this point just that they are.  Be kind.  You could be the turning point, the light that this person needs to start a new chapter, a new phase.  

God has blessed me with the different chapters that make up my life.  I pray that there are many more good chapters, but I am not so naive to think that there might still be hard ones ahead.  Everyone knows that a good book has twists and turns, ups and downs, thus is life.  All I'm asking is that when you go out into the world do not be a negative plot twist, a villain if you will.  Be the happy triumphant music cue, and do so often.  This world is filled with dark and negative stand out be a light.  

Discipline and bullying.

You are always way more knowledgable about a topic when you aren't actually dealing with it yourself.  I remember being an unmarried just out of college woman that was convinced exactly how I would be when I was a wife and mother.  I would see these other examples and critique what they were doing and how very wrong I thought it was.

I can remember vividly listening to a 7 or 8 year old following their mother around Target saying Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom and thinking why on earth doesn't that evil woman just answer this precious treasure?!

I am not above telling you that I was an idiot.

I had no idea that the poor woman had probably heard her beautiful angel beg for something so many times that she was well past the "I'm going to lose it" phase and was doing everything she possibly could to not embarrass herself in Target by calling down hellfire on her spawns head.

I was wrong.  I get it.  I do want to say something though.

There is a difference between discipline and bullying.

A parent must discipline their child into correct acceptable behavior that will not get them beaten up later in life.

Discipline: the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

I can go into a long tangent on this but the short story is...

If you yell at your child to get what you want what have you taught your child?  Yell to get what you want.

If you sit down and explain to your child what you expect and then do not waiver from that expectation what have you taught your child?  You are in charge and you are to be respected.

Now granted.  Even the best behaved children are going to have bad days, good night there are days that I want to pitch a fit in the middle of Target but discipline your child...do not bully them.

Monica Moore Brown

And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

They sang this song Easter morning at my church.  I have sung this song my entire life, but had never noticed the lyrics to the other verses as much as I did Easter morning.  You see I lost a friend on Easter eve.  A wonderful, beautiful friend to the horrible disease of cancer.  She had no warning.  No time to say goodbye.  She went in on Monday because of what she thought was a sinus infection.  No pain.  No signs, and by Saturday she was gone.

It is so senseless.  She is so young.  She has two boys, a senior and a freshman.  She has a daughter that is in the 5th grade.  They were her life.  She has blessed this world with 3 excellent human beings that are a beautiful light in this dark world.  They are kind, they are generous, they are good.  She has intentionally raised her children and because of her love they are a blessing to the planet.

The world lost a beautiful being on Saturday, April 4th.  Heaven gained a fantastic addition.  When things like this happen in this world I can lose sight of the ultimate goal.  I am saddened by the hopelessness and the bad things that seem to scream from every turn.

I am thankful for this song during this time of mourning because I know the lyrics are true.  I will see my friend again, and because Christ lives I have nothing to fear.

Amusement park annoyances.

This year for spring break we took in two amusement parks.  I love amusement parks.  The people watching is superior and the smells and excitement are intoxicating.  It seems that every time I pay a visit to an amusement park a list of similar situations catch my attention.  Can we visit a few of them?

1. There is a tshirt that is popular, I'm not sure why anyone thinks it is funny but I will without fail see it at a park visit.  It says Cool Story Babe, now go fix me a sandwich.  The first time I saw this tshirt it was being worn by a 12 year old boy and I thought how sad that this poor child is being raised by such horrible parents.  This time however it was being worn by an overweight balding man with no "Babe" in sight.  I found myself wondering why he was still wearing the tshirt because apparently his "babe" had left him after he got overweight eating all those sandwiches.

2. Heavy makeup.  Dare I say clown like.  One gets hot and sweaty at amusement parks.  Why on earth would one want to apply so much makeup before a day of coaster riding?  A new trend that I noticed was to shave ones eyebrows off and then draw them back on.  Really?  You honestly think you are better at drawing eyebrows?  I can't draw a stick figure man, I certainly am not going to take on a predominant feature of my face!

3. Bright colored hair.  I may be in my 40's but I still think this is a fun look especially for summer.  I saw a woman with black, neon green and then a few strands of kelly green in the front.  It looked so cute!  If this is a look that you are going to go for please please please spend the money to have it done right.  About the park there were various examples of do and do not versions of this hair style.  The ones that I would say were the do not versions looked reminiscent of a 10 year old tie dye tshirt that wasn't done right in the first place.

4. PDA.  I don't care if you are homo or hetero no one wants to see you get it on with your significant other in a line that we will be extremely up close and personal in for the next 90 minutes.

5. I have come to terms with the whole piercings phenomenon.  Nose...tongue..eyebrow.  You do what you got to do.  I saw a new one this trip.  Lower back.  Has anyone else seen this?  Okay, you know how skinny people have two dimples on their lower back?  Okay.  Well put a stud in each of those.  I don't even want to know how they do it.  I would be ripping mine out every time I put my pants on so this is a no go fashion statement for me personally.

6. Do not sit on the hand rails.  This is not new.  Every park I have ever visited will announce for your safety please do not sit on the handrails and yet every time some one is sitting on the handrails.  What could the answer to this age old problem be?  I thought maybe you could heat them up, you know the temperature of the sun then put disclaimers all over them warning people so that you can't get sued.  You could put slime all over them.  Make it look completely disgusting like boogers or poo, it could even be scented.  How about slick metal walls?  Honestly this is the best choice.  Air condition that bad boy and make waiting in the 120 min line at least somewhat cool.

Thank you for indulging me.  What is your favorite amusement park annoyance?

You think you know...but you don't.

Educated guess.  Guesstimate.  Hypothesis.  Assumption. Speculation. Deduction. Derivation. Interpretation.

A person goes about their day to day living their life and basing their observations on what they have experienced.  This person will react to an offending situation based on their opinion without thinking there just might be another viewpoint.  There are ALWAYS at least 2 sides to a story.

All I am saying is that when you go about your day to day life realize that people around you are hurting.  People around you are carrying an invisible load.  The cashier that doesn't speak or snaps at you could just have an unfortunate personality but more likely that person has had something hurt them.  

The child that acts out or is sarcastic could just need a little mercy...grace...KINDNESS.  Especially with a child, if you return sarcasm to their sarcasm the only thing that you are teaching them is that is an appropriate behavior because an adult did it.

Today's assignment.  Don't go about your day trying to find the hurting and help them.  Live your life intentionally thinking that you have no clue who is hurting so everyone deserves your kindness.  Your long fuse.  Your smile.

Have a great day.

Watch what you say.

Have you ever had someone offend you?  Only you don't realize they offended you until well after it is appropriate to tell the person that their words hurt you and you were offended by what they said?  Do you know how you can have a conversation with a close friend and not be offended by it at all and yet if a stranger says the exact same thing to you it will completely rock your world?

Let me explain.

I'm weird.  I don't really fit in to any one category of person and I am totally ok with it.  I have friends from all different places that most would not get along with each other and yet I love them all the same. I know that my sense of humor can be off putting and I am well aware that I don't "fit".  It's okay.  It really is.

I consider myself an extroverted introvert.  I love to make people laugh and I love to talk to people but sometimes I feel like I have to be funny in order to be liked and sometimes I don't feel like being funny.  So in the rare occasion that I am in that type of mood and I am around strangers I am going to be off to the side by myself.  This is what occurred back before Christmas.

My son's class was caroling at a nursing home and had gone to the mall so that they could have lunch.  He was going to eat lunch with some friends and then he was going to come home with me so I had to wait on him.  It was Christmas so the food court was pretty crowded and it was a food court so everyone was going to different restaurants to get what they wanted to eat.  So, I got my food and sat down at a table with plenty of room.  Had I asked anyone to join me?  No, but it wasn't like that, it was mass chaos and no one ended up sitting with me and I was not offended I promise.  I was sitting there eating my lunch waiting for my son to be done when SHE came over.  Her first words to me were I guess I will sit over here at the unliked and weird table.

Now.  If one of my close friends had said that I would have not taken offense to it at all.  It did look like I was weird and unliked, no one had decided to sit with me.  A close friend, however, would know as I did that it wasn't that people didn't like me it was the oddity of the chaos, but when a person you don't really know says that to you, you are not really sure if they are being sarcastic or hurtful.

The lesson to be learned from this post is .  You never know what a person is going through from day to day.  Joking around can be appropriate and it can be hurtful.  Make sure that you are close enough to a person before you are offensive and even then realize that offensive can get really old really fast.  We are here to build each other up and even if you are ribbing someone in jest it can get old.

I'm still ok with being weird.  I promise.

Don't take everything so seriously!! You are an extra!!!

I am going to start by telling you that I am a Christian and it is my belief that God is the center of everything so if you don't agree with me this post may not be for you.

This morning's sermon got my brain a pumping and I wanted to come to the big blue chair to write some of it down.

The gist was that we often times place ourselves in the lead role of our lives when in fact we are merely an extra in the big picture.  I guess I better do a disclaimer now for the people who are convinced that the sun rises and sets on their pointy little heads.  It...doesn't.

God is the lead role, whether you want him to be or not he is the focus of this story.  You are but a blip on the timeline of life but God is a constant.  He has and will always be there.

Stop getting so caught up in the stress and drama that is your every day life and start placing the focus where it should be.  Imagine yourself to be in a movie and God is the lead role.  If you started talking over God's lines the director would yell CUT!!!  because some crazy extra had lost their ever lovin' mind and they were making it all about them!  You would be fired on the spot and sent on your merry way.

If you will stop focusing on the things that bother you or worry you and focus on what God would have you do, your life will be much richer!  I'm not saying that life will be perfect and there will be no pain.  We live in a fallen world, pain is inevitable.  I am saying that your life will be focused on light, not darkness, and that will put you on the right path.

Be a blessing to those around you.  A joy to have come in contact with.  A bright spot in an otherwise dark day.  Be kind.

Popularity.

Popularity.  I am really tired of hearing.  My children will tell me who is popular and who is not.  My son asks me why a person is popular when they are so mean.  My daughter will not be able to tell me why a child is popular just that they are perceived to be so.

What makes someone popular?  Does it change depending on where you are in your life?  Is it dependent upon your stuff?  How big your house is?  What kind of snack you bring to school?

Are you proud because your child is considered popular?  Happy that they are invited to all of the birthday parties?  Why is that?  Is it because your child is kind?  Who is your child kind to?  The quiet kids?  The loners?  The special needs kids?  The kids that aren't anything like them?

No, probably not.  At least not in the crazy world that is adolescence.  There is really no rhyme or reason to who is popular but I can tell you one thing that I have observed.  It is never the person that I, as an adult, think should be popular.

The only conclusion I can draw from my observations is that these individuals have a short lived popularity.  Middle school is their mountain top.  It is all downhill from here.  If your popularity is based on picking on the little guy that will eventually get old.  If your popularity is based on your stuff, you might be popular in the future but it will be a superficial popularity and to be quite honest I think that might be worse.  To not know who your true friends are?  To not have a friend that if you needed them and there was nothing you could do for them they would still show up no questions asked.

Do not base your self worth on the opinions of those around you.  You might be sitting in the middle of a brood of vipers.  Find people that have the same likes that you do, and if sometimes that is just you that is perfectly ok God knows what you need, he will provide.

Be kind.