This little entry is more for me than you, but I wanted to write my thoughts down becasue after nine years my children are about to be out of the elementary school. Please don't read this as my children are very slow, it is just the way their ages fall and our school has a preschool program and a fantastic pre-first program. Reflecting on the teachers that they have had has caused me to reflect on my own elementary school education and to be honest I have had some epiphanies that I want to share with you now.
I started kindergarten in the fall of 1977. New Hopewell Elementary Ms. Hunt. She was fantastic. She was tall, had long straight brown hair, was slender and oh so very kind. She was not married and she loved us. I can remember a time I got into trouble. I was supposed to be in the housekeeping station and there was a frog outside in the art station and I was so proud to have caught the thing. I turned around and the look on Mrs. Hunt's face was awful. I had disappointed her. She was not happy, but it was okay. I took my punishment and we moved on.
First grade was Mrs. E. She was a fiery sarcastic redhead that had a son a couple of years younger than us. She was a bit distracted. She was nicer than the other first grade teacher so I was pretty happy until one day when I needed to go to the bathroom. I asked her permission and she said yes. I went to said bathroom with a hall pass. I had not even gotten down to business when Alisha McCarter came running in screaming that I was in trouble. I got back and took one step in the room. Mrs. East grabbed me by the back of my neck and threw me over a desk spanking me like crazy. When she was done she said I hope you know better now. I didn't.
Second grade I had Mrs. C. She was a friend of mine's mom. I remember getting a U in art. I remember my mom saying that was stupid how can anyone grade art.
Third grade I had Mr. B. It was my first male teacher. I thought that was pretty cool. He was. The only thing I remember from the year is someone throwing up in class.
Fourth grade I got Mrs. N. My mother had heard all about Mrs. Newman from other mom's and didn't want me to have her. I got her. I thought she was great! She was nice and fun and I loved 4th grade. She must have found out that my mom didn't want her because I remember one lunch she took me over to the teacher's table to have me show the other teacher's what an interesting banana I had...it wasn't. (Years later I had the moment of clarity realizing that she had been standing behind me and probably showing them who I was.)
Fifth grade. Worst possible year EVER. Hated it. Absolutely despised it. Can not make it any clearer how even more than 30 years later I can remember things that happened in this class as clear as if they happened yesterday. There was an odd number of girls and I didn't have a buddy. I didn't dance and I didn't have a sport. The teacher for some reason had decided she didn't like me.
I would love to go back and look at 10 year old me. I would love to know if it was more me than her but me being 10 and her being an adult I would go with it was more her. The event that stands out the most is I had been told by some girls to write a love note to Marshall Dominic. I didn't love Marshall Dominic. I just wanted someone, anyone to talk to me. So I did it. I drew a little stick figure girl thinking about a little stick figure boy and asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend. Mrs. B saw the note get passed and grabbed it. She then taped it to the board and had row after row go up look at the note and then come back and tell me how stupid I was. Some of the kids didn't want to do it, some reveled in it. It was humiliating and even more alienated me from my peers. After lunch I went up to her and told her I would like to take it down and she said Yes, I think you've had enough.
She's still alive. She goes to my mother's hair dresser. She is related to some people that go to church with me. She probably has no recollection of this incident whatsoever!!
Why did I write this? I want to point out how very much the actions of these people are so strongly remembered by me almost 40 years later!!! Live your life intentionally, live your life with kindness. There is no reason to spread hate. I don't care how insane that child drives you there is still no reason to spread hate. Discipline? Sure. Sarcasm and hatred? Not so much. Be firm, but be kind. It can be done.
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