Christmas Craziness

As I was entering my local shopping establishment on the day before Christmas I was immediately subjected to an argument.  I could hear one woman apologizing and the other one doubting the sincerity of the apology.  At which point the doubter woman railed into a barrage of profanities.  I looked around for the offender glad that my small children were not with me and found her, only I was sure my eyes were deceiving me.  This beautiful woman in about her 80's, perfectly coiffed with a beautifully cheery Christmas outfit and for all other purposes Gorgeous individual had a look of death on her face and was hell bent on seeking revenge from this other shopper who was completely disinterested in "returning fire", you know cause it's Christmas.  

What is wrong with people?  My observance of this little scuttle then ruined my entire shopping experience because I couldn't stop thinking about it.  All I could think of was the stress of Christmas.  You do realize that isn't what it is all about right?  It isn't about the perfect gift or the perfectly decorated house.  It isn't about the fudge that has been recreated every year for 50 years and if you don't do it you will be breaking a tradition of your ancestors and they will surely shun you.  It isn't about getting every possible Hallmark Christmas tradition in or you aren't "festive".  

Christmas is only about one thing.  Do you know what it is?  While all the other things that you experience at Christmas are good too the most important thing is Christ's birth, and through which those that accept this perfect gift are saved.  

Now, you can say that getting together as a family to make sweet treats, or doing charitable good works around town, or even exchanging presents with loved ones is what Christmas is all about but you would be wrong and if the crazy shopping woman is any indication of what all of the Christmas craziness does to your sanity.  Stick with the plain and simple.  God loved you enough to send his only son as the most perfect Christmas present to you.  

God loves you, no matter what you have done up until now he loves you where you are.  He brings no prejudgement only forgiveness and love when you finally accept his gift, the most perfect gift of Christmas.  

Merry Christmas everyone!

No, Can't say as I have.

Can someone please explain to me why it is that some people are under the impression that the way they do things is the only way that it is to be done or has ever been done in the history of the world.  I was speaking to someone that I don't know that well and they said to me..."It's kind of like when people try to tell you they don't pee in the shower, but we all know everyone does it."  Um....No!  But then at that point what do you say?  I don't!  If you say that you know that all this person is going to be thinking is that you are a big fat liar.

I remember in college there was this girl that had like 15 bras.  They were all those Victoria's secret types with the padding that all look like they come with their own breasts.  She would wash them all at the same time I'm pretty sure it was because she would hand wash them and then she would put them out on a drying rack in the hall.  Now.  If you put 15 large bras in a college dorm hallway without supervision frivolity will ensue.  I'm not saying their is photographic evidence but if the size DD fits....  Man I bet she hated us.  She had just hand washed 15 bras and we turned around and soiled them.  I now feel extremely bad about this.

It's funny how your opinion of things changes the more life experience you have.  Like for instance once you have had to hand wash anything you know how annoying it is to do and you wouldn't want to make that much work for anyone, or you no longer want to roll someone's yard with toilet paper once you have to buy your own because A. that stuff is expensive and B. I barely have time to pee let alone clean up a yard full of toilet paper and no I am not going to make time for it by combining my pee time and shower time.  Just not gonna do it.

I'm going to go a little deeper on this one.  You know the saying "walk a mile in someone's shoes"?  It is currently my belief that unless you have experienced life as that person you are no longer entitled to an opinion on the way they are living their life.  Sure we all have opinions, we are human, but don't be so quick to express your own opinions as law for all those around you.  Keep in mind that all things are not quite as black and white as they might seem.  Get out there, experience life, have your perspective changed a bit it is fabulous!

Just when they needed you most.

Why is it that when our loved ones are in need of us the most that is when we avoid them like the plague?  Not the stuff that is on your teeth when you haven't brushed, the stuff that was in England and is the source of my aversion to cobblestone streets for some unknown reason.  I guess either way it would work cause no one likes sweater teeth.

Let's say there is a death in a loved ones life.  Everyone is loving and supportive at first they come to the receiving of friends they even bring a casserole but a few weeks into it the person is expected to be back to normal and over the loss of their loved one.  I mean enough is enough right?  You were only married to them for 46 years get off the sad train and come back to happyland!  (Please translate this as dripping with sarcasm!)

Maybe it's not a death, maybe it's some other life changing experience that has rocked your friend's world and you are tired of it being the only thing the friend ever talks about.  Or maybe they aren't even talking about it you just feel awkward when you are around them because you don't know what to say and maybe you will offend them or say something wrong and no one would want that!

Guess what?  SUCK IT UP!  In order to have a friend you have to be a friend and sometimes friends are higher maintenance than they typically are.  There are going to be times when your friends just need you to listen or send them a card or take a task off their hands that frees them up a little.  It is what friends do!

Just put yourself in the person's position and think to yourself if this were me what would I want?  You might not even say anything at all but during this dark time in your friend's life when they need you most why on earth would you desert them?

Before you get your bloomers in a twist.

So, I wanted to come clean on something.  I've been writing this little train of thought blog for more than a year.  I haven't been consistent but I have put over 150 of these bad boys out there.  Some of which really crack me up.  So when I would visit other blogs and see that they had tons of followers and a ton of comments on each entry I was really having my ego trampled into the dirt.

I have 11 followers.  I know all of them.  I love all of them.  I feel like I need to take them to lunch.  This too made me question my ability to "blog".  Why only 11?  Why no comments?  I would go through periods of self loathing and anger over this...not really but it is way more dramatic.

Guess what?!  It helps to switch the security setting to on in order to allow people to comment.  It's a whole new world!  I asked a few friends to take a look at my blog tonight and see if they could comment after I turned it to "on" and low and behold they could!

So all these months of feeling like I was just writing in a diary and no one gave a flying flip were all in vain!  I probably have it switched to only allow 11 followers too!  Comment away people it will feel way more like a conversation and less like I'm talking to myself!  Not that talking to myself is a bad thing.

The "in" crowd.

You know what I realized?  There really is no such thing as the "in" crowd.  I mean, yes, there are people who are considered more popular than others but I bet if you asked them they wouldn't think they had any friends at all.  

Now, granted you are going to have some cocky people out there that perceive themselves way higher on the food chain than they ought but give them a few years of people figuring them out and they are going to drop like a rock.  

I personally have never been in the "in" crowd.  I'm way too quirky, but I betcha there are some people who perceive me to be as such.  Mainly because I could talk to a tree.  I get it from my daddy.  I love people.  Ok.  Maybe not all people, but I do enjoy a challenge.  Grumpy old man that looks like he has gas and I can make him laugh?  Score!  Pissed off lady and I get a "you so crazy"?  Awesome!  

However, when it comes to having lots of friends I really don't feel like I do.  I'm pretty much a homebody.  My husband is my best friend and I enjoy hanging out at home with him and our kids.  It's crazy I know!  

Do I sometimes long for the Hallmark channel group of best friend ladies that all get along and read from a script of pre-approved topics that are not going to upset me and we all agree on the food and entertainment of every time we get together?  Sure.  Does that actually exist?  Nope.  Not in my world. If you have it hold on to it because God has given you a blessing!

I'm really more of a one on one type girl.  I don't really like big groups, and shocking as it may seem I don't always like to be funny.  The way I can tell if someone is going to be a true friend is if I put down the happy mask and either get quiet or serious.  If the person asks me what's wrong they are going to be off the crazy train pretty quick, if we just continue on like all is well....Golden!  

I will say that it does bother me though when I find out that a group of people that I know all of them get together and I wasn't asked to join in on the frivolity.  I'm not saying I would have gone it just would be nice to know I was nominated.  You know?  

These are the days when my middle school days of insecurity raise their ugly heads and I feel bad about myself.  I hate days like that.  If you have days like this too just remember there are billions of people that live on this earth.  The group of people that made you feel bad are a mere smoosh in the tapestry.  Why not go out and find someone new or even old that you would enjoy chatting with?  Why not make your own "in" crowd?  I hear it's all the rage.  

There's more than one way to skin a squirrel.

You know what I just realized?  I bet when people google skin a squirrel this will come up.  I just want to say this has absolutely nothing to do with skinning a squirrel so if you are looking for ways to do that you can stop reading now.

A friend planted a "big blue chair" seed in my brain this morning right in the middle of exercise class.  Do you realize just how much Zumba can make a seed grow?  I've never gotten so upset and in need of a computer in my life.  The following albeit rambling is the child of that seed....

When you decide that you need to buy groceries for your household, how do you choose which is best?  You probably have 14 different grocery stores in a 10 mile radius so how do you pick one?  Do you grow all of your own food and have no need for grocery stores?  Do you only buy groceries from co-ops for one reason or another?  Does your choice make you a better person than someone else?  How do you get to said grocery retailer?  A car?  A bike?  Did you walk?  Did this choice make you a better person?  What about coupons?  or cash vs. credit?  paper vs. plastic?  Do you realize how many different ways there are to accomplish the exact same task and one is not necessarily more right than another one.  You heard me....YOUR WAY IS NOT THE ONLY WAY.

This fact goes into other aspects of our lives.  Let's take the last presidential election.  Were you disappointed at the result?  Do you think the wrong man got in?  Guess what?  YOU'RE WRONG!  God put the man in that needed to be in.  I'm not saying that I believe in his policies I'm saying that God is way bigger than I am and he can see the complete picture and he has more than enough power to put the man in office that needed to be in there.

Listen, the result was pretty much 50/50 maybe that result alone will help the president to understand that he needs to work on his policies.  Maybe this country needs to have some financial problems in order to control their horrible desires for MORE MORE MORE!!!  I don't know, but if you are calling people that you know voted differently from you to condemn the way that they voted and they prayerfully and intelligently selected their candidate then I'm sorry but I think you are wrong.

If you are going through life on some pedestal assuming that you are so much better than others, and that the way you do things is the only way and you are leaving in your wake a group of people that feel horrible about themselves or people who dislike you because you are so one minded, well honey get down off that pedestal and remember one thing.  You are called to love others.  All others.  Not just the ones that believe the way you do.

Jesus is the only perfect man, and God is powerful enough to control the balance of power.  You just concentrate on making sure God's love is shining through you and you'll be fine.  This week why don't you try doing something just a smidge different.  Gain perspective.  Step outside of your comfort zone and talk to someone who thinks differently than you without trying to correct them.  You just might  realize that there is more than one way to skin a squirrel.

Happy Thanksgiving.

For the first 20 or so years of my life my Thanksgivings were extremely predictable.  Typically they were held at either my parents house, which was rare, or in a small town called Fall Branch where my father's parents lived.  My grandparents lived on a farm.  You would drive up a long gravel drive past an old spring house that was now a shed.  My grandfather would typically be sitting out on the carport and would give a wave when he saw us.  I can still picture this, they had a huge land yacht of a car which was a royal blue LTD and he would be sitting up close to the house probably trying to avoid all the hustle and bustle inside the house all while remaining within earshot in case my grandmother needed him.
There were two ways into the house you could either enter to your right and go straight into the dining room or go straight ahead into the heart of their home which was the kitchen.  We always had 12 people, and there would be at least that many desserts lined up on the freezer chest sitting right next to the kids table.  Cruel I tell you.  Food would be everywhere.  My grandmother would bake her own bread, roast a turkey, do a ham, all of the vegetables from her garden she was a spit fire.  She was no more than 5 feet tall shorter probably but her hair gave her an edge.
I can still tell you where everyone would be.  My Aunts would be helping my grandmother, my Uncle Tom would be reading the paper in the living room along with my Uncle Melvin and my cousin would be waiting on us to arrive so we could play.  We would eat, clean up and enjoy each other's company.  It was the only place we had to be that day and there was no rush to do anything else.  I had never heard of Black Friday and it was always the most relaxing of holidays.
This all changed once I got married.  By the time I got married my Grandparents had long since been moved into a nursing home and my Grandfather had passed.  The Thanksgiving festivities on my side had changed to being at my parents house so that my husband and I could participate because this is how it went for a few years....11 am eat a full Thanksgiving meal with my parents, 3 pm drive across town to eat a full Thanksgiving meal with my husband's grandmother and father, 6 pm go to my husband's mother's house for another full meal and movie.  Gone was the rest and relaxation, gone was the easiness of Thanksgiving.
It's funny how life changes and how you can vividly remember some details of your life.  The smell of my grandmother's kitchen, the mental picture of my Grandfather awaiting our arrival.  Of the original 12 in my life there are only 9 that remain.  Now granted we have added about 12 more, but with people living all over we can't all get together.  I hope that my children have positive lovely memories of their early Thanksgivings. Children don't sense the stress and frustration of meal planning and clashing personalities.  I pray that my children will someday be able to look back on their childhood and only remember the magical.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Kristine.

I want to tell you about a friend of mine.  We met long ago when we both worked for a local department store.  We were fast friends from the day we met.  We just clicked.  I would help her with things she had to do, she would return the favor.  We would go to lunch together, we would exercise together and most importantly she could make me laugh and we laughed a lot.

When she had her first baby she decided to stay home with him and at that point I didn't see her as much.  We would still do things together but of course things changed because we were no longer guaranteed to be in the same building for the same amount of time, but that is the thing about really special friends, you find a way to make it work.  Whether you see or talk to them daily doesn't matter, when you finally do get to chat you pick right up where you left off.  There are no hurt feelings there are no issues both parties just know that's life.

So, this morning when I called Kristine to check in I didn't realize that she was substitute teaching.  She must have thought that she turned off her phone but she didn't and I must have been in her pocket because I could hear most of what she was saying.  She put a smile on my face that lasted the rest of my morning.  You see there is something about Kristine that is just wonderful.  She can go into any situation and perform whatever task that is in front of her with ease.  She doesn't stress about the details or whether or not she is doing it the way it was done before she just sees what needs to be done and does it.

I could hear her very calmly explaining her rules to the children and very sweetly saying You in the back..what is your name?  Well, Adrianna you see what you are doing right now?...the running around and stuff?...well, now that will get you put in time out.  Do you understand?  Apparently Adrianna sat down because I could hear Kristine continue on about how they were all going to grab a book and meet on the big blue rug.  I was thinking how I probably wouldn't have handled it as well as Kristine and poor little Adrianna would have ended up in tears.

Kristine just makes me happy.  I love the fact that whether or not she really does have it all under control she always appears to.  I love the fact that if I ask her if an outfit I'm wearing looks good she won't lie to me, but she won't make me feel bad either she will put a spin on it that will have me laughing and I will go change.  I love that no matter what problem I come to her with she never makes me feel like some sort of freak!  She will relate my problem to something else and we will have it solved before it's time to hang up the phone.

A friend like Kristine is a gift from God and does not come along very often.  I am blessed that she is in my life and No, you can't have her!  If you don't have a friend in your life that is like Kristine, why not try being that kind of friend to someone else.  Be a blessing to your friends not a burden.  Have a great day!

By the way, Kristine, honey, you really want to make sure your phone has hung up, that could have been dangerous!  :)

Constructive Criticism.

For any of the others of you out there married to gentlemen who enjoy giving constructive criticism I am going to attempt to put humor in that which is annoying me right now.  

Ok. So we have discussed my inability to control my weight, my inability to be stylish, my inability to cook consistently...these are all knowns.  I want to say right here before I begin this tyraid, I love my husband very much.  He just drives me crazy sometimes.  He knows he does it, as well as I know that I drive him crazy sometimes.  Marriage isn't easy people but when you find someone you love hold on to them for dear life and get ready for one crazy ride.

1. I was wearing a jogging suit last night.  The thing is probably 10 years old, I'm sure it is not one of my best outfits in my closet, I was wearing it to walk with the kids around to trick or treat.  Therefore dark, therefore why do I care?!  (I will insert my husband's response, You should always care!)  Ok, but sometimes I don't I want to be warm and comfortable.  

My husband's comment was that I needed to change, in fact I needed to throw away my beloved jog suit because it looked horrible on me.  He is all about the shock and awe.  Can we discuss what he could have said or done that would have been better?  

A. He could have encouraged me to put on a costume.

B. He could have gone gotten a glass of water, come over to me to give me a hug, pretended to trip, therein spilling the entire thing all over me forcing me to change.  

C. He could have realized that on the larger scheme of things it doesn't really matter, it was going to be dark and life would go on without hurting my feelings and making me feel bad.  

2. Halitosis.  You know bad breath, funk mouth, what crawled under your tongue and died or worse yet pooed?  How do you handle it when you are in deep conversation with someone and they have dragon breath?  Next time try one of these....

A.  Always carry some sort of gum or mint with you to offer.  Keeping in mind that not all humans can have artificial sweetener so if it is me that is offensive I'm all about pure sugar baby!!!  

B. Back up, or sit down, or start doing lunges for pities sake just get out of that direct path.

C. Realize that you have smelled worse and do you really want to make this person feel bad?  What if you lived before the invention of all things clinical?  What would you have done then Senor Fresh Breath? 

Ok. This isn't going as I expected the overall theme is choose your words.  Realize that what you consider to be constructive criticism is not always required in every situation and your critiques are coming from the way that you see a perfect world.  Not everyone thinks the way you do, and I am so very sorry to tell you but there is more than one way to do anything and your way is not necessarily the right way and by no means the only way.  

We are all walking around in a broken world.  We are broken flawed people and the world throws enough crap at us that we don't need our loved ones criticizing us too, constructive or otherwise.  

To sum up: If you don't like the jog suit....hide it.  If you don't like their breath...buy them a million different kinds of gum and mints.  Just realize that if you are going to critique you must give two compliments to offset the critique.  It's the law.  I promise I saw it on the internet or something.

What do I do when I'm aggravated....

Today I am walking around with an extremely bad attitude.  I am convinced that no one likes me and to be honest at the moment I am not fond of anyone, and to be even more honest there are a few walking around out there that if given the chance I'm pretty sure I would have no remorse if I punched them.  Can I talk about some of the things that have set me off?

1. A person posted a picture of her son with a dead deer.  Apparently the child had achieved some sort of rite of passage by killing a furry woodland creature.  Don't get me wrong.  I understand hunting as a sport but the only way I truly approve of it is if the hunter then understands that this creature gave it's life to you human are you going to respect it or are you going to waste it?  i.e. did this young man use the carcass for something or was it just I'm gonna go kill something cue Beavis and Butthead laugh.  Don't get me wrong I have a friend whose husband and son hunt and they are a wealth of recipes of how to use said meat.  I personally am not of the hunting breed, that is why God created Kroger, for my people.

2. Hateful political comments made in an election year.  The two people are human.  They are not supermen.  They are not God's.  They can not fix us.  America has become a mess because of greed and selfishness and it would do us all good to stop wondering what's in it for us and change our thinking therefore to what can we do to make America great again.  I hate the feeling I get about people that I know are voting opposite from me.  I don't understand how on earth they could not see what I see.  Oh, and if you are voting off of what you are seeing on television or what you have heard from your friends....well, you are one of the people walking around that I wouldn't mind punching.

3. Why is it that the sound bytes that get played over and over and over are those of stupid people?  You might hear something inspirational or life changing but typically you have to go looking for it.  Now, the idiot that says something derogatory or inflammatory?  Oh, the press will be all over that.  Anything that gets us mad or at odds with one another?  Oh, that will be aired on every radio, television and print media out there.   I don't know about you but there are enough injustices in every day life that make me mad.  I don't need to have anything negative reiterated.

4.  Horns.  I don't like them.  I understand their importance but they are misused a lot of the time.  Just remember that if you are placing yourself in your vehicle you will be utilizing roads that are going to contain more than just yourself.  It is not more important for you to get where you are going than for anyone else out there to get where they are going, and if you are driving distracted get over yourself.  It is okay to let people in, it is okay to wait patiently and it is most beneficial to remember that there will be a time when you mess up we all do it.  Remember mercy and grace.

I can go on but it would do no good.  I am just apparently hormonal and tired.  I could use a change of scenery and a few positive comments in my world.  I will be glad for the election to be over and I want everyone to remember that no matter who gets into the oval office God is still God.  I would also like to say go out there and spread kindness.  Even the slightest gesture will do more good than you can ever imagine.

Matchy Matchy.

Can we talk about matching outfits for a minute?

If you have twins and want to dress them alike I get that.  I think my personal preference would be complimentary colors in the same sort of outfit but what do I know?  If you have children of different ages and want to dress them similar by all means they are your kids have at it, but can we talk about 2 guidelines if you are going to dress like your child?

1.  Clothing must be age appropriate for both participating parties.  It is highly inappropriate to make your child look like a hoochie mama or for the adult to look like a Shirley Temple wannabe.

2. Complimentary outfits are way less shocking.  Do not wear the exact same EVERYTHING as your child or you are going to get stares.  Headband, earrings, sunglasses, blouse, belt, pants, socks and shoes....TOO MUCH already.

I don't have a problem with matching pjs by all means buy the entire family those matching footie pajamas and have fun with it! What you do in your own home is not annoying to the rest of us because we can't see it.  It's when you mess with our minds that there becomes a problem.

Ok. Sorry about my rant.  Yesterday when leaving dance I saw a 40 something woman with her 5 year old.  The child was wearing one of those outfits that is so popular right now with the pants that bell out at the bottom and the long sleeve tops that do the same at the wrist.  It was in a patchwork pattern in a country blue / mauve fabric.  Already it wasn't something that I found to be unattractive.  Then add to it that mother and daughter were dressed exactly the same?!  WHY?!

I do realize that everyone has a right to wear what they want to wear and dress the way they want to and yes that includes their children, but I also have a right to write about how stupid I think it is...so there!  :)

Have a great day people!

It's an obsession, but it isn't what you think.

Meet my fall obsession.  I found them last year at a little store called Einstein's bagels just down from my house.  They are a chain so you just might have a location near you. If you haven't had a pumpkin muffin I highly suggest it.  Now, mind you, there are no health benefits to this muffin and in my own humble opinion they should really change the name to Pumpkin cupcake you know because of the whole honesty is the best policy thing, but it does have at least pumpkin flavor to it therefore it is a vegetable therefore I will eat it without guilt.  

I do love these muffins and they do make me happy but that is not entirely why I love to go to Einstein's or any of the other establishments I frequent.  It is because they know my name!  They seem happy to see me.  They know what I want and if it isn't in the case they either apologize or tell me that there are some in the back!  

It is that familiarity that I crave in my life as a stay at home mom.  You know how when you work with others they know things about you?  Like whether you like coffee or not or whether a family member has been sick or maybe someone just says good morning and tells you to have a good day?  Well, when you are a stay at home and your children have gone to school for the day and you are left at home alone looking at a mountain of laundry and dirty dishes it can get pretty old really quick.  The thing is if I leave to go out and about and among the people then the things that I am supposed to be accomplishing here at home aren't getting accomplished.  So, therein lies my issue.  

I am a people person.  I can only talk to myself and be alone for so long before I go stir crazy.  If you are like me might I make a suggestion?  It is the anonomousness of our lifestyle wherein lies the problem. (I know that's not a word work with me.) You can go out into the world and shop at different stores every week and never talk to a soul and with the vastness of our world no one would even know you exist.  However, if when you do go out into the world you go to the same stores and are nice and friendly and speak to the people that work there, they will start to remember you.  You will find out things about them that you can ask them about and hopefully they will return the favor.  This spreading of kindness will make the world a better place and do your spirit some good.  

If you go about your life waiting for someone to be nice to you, you are going about it all wrong.  The world is a hard place, it is broken and so are its inhabitants.  Don't wait for someone to be kind to you, be kind to others and you will receive many blessings in return.  Trust me, I know!  A friend went with me to lunch at one of my favorite spots with me the other day and after we had ordered and sat down she said how often do you come in here?  It's like going to eat with Elvis!  

Be kind everyone.  It will only do good for all involved!

A little something about me.

I've been home now for 10 years, 4 months, 10 days.  I don't say that in a bad way I'm just being specific.  I've learned a few things about myself along the way that I didn't previously know.  Some I kind of knew but when you are away from adult conversation for that long you start to talk to yourself.

1. I have actually slowed down to realize that my bad hair days are totally caused by the humidity.  Before I just didn't bother with why I just threw it up in a pony tail and thought wow I've got some crazy body today.

2. I need people.  I am a people person.  I love to make people laugh.  I love to listen to people's problems.  I love to be on a team and get something done.  I'm not so much a high fiver, but I'm all about team work.

3. People annoy me.  It doesn't take very much either.  They don't even have to know they are doing it. It can be anything from a nose whistle to the 14th time they have told me the same exact story and they aren't remembering that they have told me this War and Peace story of their car issues 14 TIMES BEFORE!!!   Now.  Staying at home has helped with that because I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to.  On most occasions.

4. I need deadlines.  I am way more productive when I know that the merchandise for a photo shoot has to be to Fedex by Thursday night at 9pm or we are going to miss our deadline rather than you need to complete the 4 billionth load of laundry, fold it and put it away...again.  It is the same with the clutter and straightening of this house.  I can have the house spotless and if the kids get home before their daddy forget it.  He is just going to think I do nothing all day anyway so why bother?

5. I don't like gossip.  I'm not saying I don't ever do it because that would be a lie but I don't like it, and if I partake in it  I am going to hate myself for hours after plus I am going to know that the person I was talking to is probably going to say the exact same crap about me to someone else so there isn't a win.  This takes us back to the fact that I need to stay away from people because I am generally a nice person who is just starved for adult conversation and if you are going to come to me with a did you know that she did this to her and did you know this about her kid and did you see the flying elephant that landed on the football field.  I am going to listen.  I'm not saying I'm proud of it I'm just being honest.

6. I love to cook until I have to come up with what, or I have to do so when my children are asking me questions and saying they are hungry.  If I get distracted something is going to get forgotten and it will all come out tasting the same or burnt or dry and all I really wanted to do was go out to eat anyway!

7. I don't like to go out to eat.  Shocking I know.  I like that I don't have to cook.  I like that I don't have to clean it up, but I really don't like to go out to eat because when you think about how you have no clue what is going on behind that kitchen door and who is cooking it and what kind of day did that have and did they or did they not just wipe their nose and not wash their hands after.  Completely grosses me out to think about it!!!  I like to go to Subway.  I can see what they are up to.

8. I am a simple person.  It is the tiniest of things that make me happy.  If you remember that I enjoy glass bottle cokes.  You don't even have to get me one you just have to say Wouldn't a glass bottle coke fix all of the crap that is going on in this world.  Then I know that you really have listened to me and get me and you aren't just in our relationship to see if I know more about what the deal was with the elephant on the football field.

Ok.  I'm done for now.  I also ramble.  I'm ok with it.  I eventually get to my point.  Have a fabulous day friends!

Merging and other none suches.

I'm not sure why I notice the stuff I do.  It makes no difference in the world as I know it or as anyone knows it really but some of my observations really get in there and make me wonder or make me laugh out loud or just make me ponder.  Since you are completely free to stop reading right now I am going to document them now and possibly make my children laugh in years to come when they look back this and laugh at how their mother has always been this odd!

1. There is a brown van that we pass every morning on the way to school.  It is like a delivery van with very few windows.  It is the color of a Hershey bar and I have decided it has been placed there to torment me.  (I'm not saying these observations are earth shattering I'm just saying that they are my observations....stop reading now if you have something better to do it isn't gonna go up from here.)

2. Why is it that there are always a few that have to break the rules?  The kids school has stated a pretty clear process for pick up line but every day there are a select few that either can't read or just don't feel that rules were made for them.  It drives me insane every single day.  I want to get out of my car with copies of the email and disperse them.  Lovingly, of course.

3. Why is it that people don't understand the concept of merging?  I will go back to my illustration of a zipper.  You take one metal piece from each side all the way up and the thing zips like a dream, you take two from one side and miss the one that is trying to merge in and BLAMMO! Zipper no work!  One car is not going to kill you people!

4. Speaking of merging.  When driving on a 5 lane highway the only reason you should be in the first lane is if you have only just joined the flow of traffic, you are about to leave the flow of traffic, or you are driving so slow if you try any of the other lanes you will impede the flow of traffic.  You should at no point use this as a passing lane cursing the drivers that are attempting to enter the roadway.  You sir can point that middle finger at yourself as you are the offender!

5. Why is it that I can never be dressed up and pretty on days that I am called into the kids school for an "emergency"?  Why is it that I am in the middle of laundry day looking like something out of My Fair Lady only before she could talk purty.

Ok.  I won't bore you any longer, but don't think I won't bore you again.  I have to make a case for the fact that when they tell the judge they have to put me in a home because I'm crazy I can pull up all these posts and say Honey, I'm better now than I was when I was 40 so shut up a little!  :)

Have a great day!

I am an emotional train wreck.

I am here to tell you if this is what hormonal imbalance looks like, it ain't pretty.

I sat down to eat my lunch here at home by myself as I often do and I turned on the television as I often do for a little entertainment whilst I eat my lunch.  The movie The Notebook was on.  I have a love hate relationship with this movie.  I loved the book.  I read the book when I was way more hormonally stable.

There is a scene in this movie that gets me every time.  If you haven't seen it the movie is a love story within a love story.  One love story is of two young people and the other is of a man who is reading the story to his wife who is suffering from dementia and doesn't know him.  The scene that gets me is she recognizes him for a brief moment and he is so happy that she recognizes him and then as quickly as that recognition came it is gone.  She gets scared and pushes him away and he is crying while doctors and nurses try to subdue her.

I am sobbing at this point.  Not even for the movie but for the reality of it all.  What a horrible disease dementia is and how it robs us of our beautiful memories.  I then go into how quickly my children are zooming through childhood and how brief life is and how I don't want to be put in a home and how sad it is for those who have no one who loves them enough to care!

See.  Train. Wreck.

I do this sometimes.  I have a very "what is it all for" frame of mind that I get into and I can't wrap my mind around what seems to be my very small part in this grand scheme of things.  What am I doing for the betterment of the kingdom as we know it?

I'll tell you what I'm going to tell myself.  I am raising two beautiful children.  I am teaching them to respect others.  To be kind.  To love others.  I am not perfect at it but I take great joy in the fact that I am their mother.  God has a plan for me and he has a plan for the two children that he has placed  into my care and I need to raise them so that they are ready for their purpose.

Life might seem repetitive.  Life might seem hard.  Life is not always joyous.  Remember that you are loved.  Not as anything that you have ever seen before.  Loved greater than you can even imagine and hold tight to that remembering that no matter what you think you don't know because you can not see the big picture.

God is larger than any of your trials and your trials are only training you how to be a better you.
Know that you are loved sweet friends.  

Funny ha ha or Funny peculiar.

Funny ha ha or Funny peculiar is a saying that my mother used to use when she was trying to figure out what we were talking about.  She's right you know...you really need to specify when you say that some one is funny. 

I like to be funny.  It brings me great joy to create laughter in most situations.  Not inappropriate, of course, I'm not some sort of whackadoodle.  Well, maybe I am but I try not to be.  I just find it way more productive to leave a situation better when you leave than it was when you arrived.  There is no point in being hateful to people that just spreads ill will and that crap will come back and bite you!  Mark my words.

I tell you all this because I haven't felt very funny lately.  Well, I have felt funny peculiar but not funny ha ha.  I have been so depressed.  I blame my hormones and I know that some people would tell me to get on medication but that is just not for me.  If I can get into my regular exercise routine and have my daily dose of adult conversation I will be good.  It is just that summer has just ended and I have been doing some things around the house that I haven't been able to do with the kids home and I'm not in my normal swing of things.

Want to know what I have discovered?  You find out really quickly who your true friends are.  If all of a sudden you are no longer being the court jester and bringing amusement to the masses some have no room for your neediness.  It is only then that you find out who your true friends are. 

I'm not sure why I am telling you guys any of this it brings no joy or amusement to anyone.  I guess just to say that everyone has ups and downs and no one is happy ALL  the time.  We all have our moments.  Remember that when you are dealing with other humans.  If the woman in the gas station is rude to you don't be so selfish to think about your own feelings and how she should find a job other than customer service.  Think instead what might have gone wrong with her day or that something might be bothering her. 

Spread joy out there people it is a beautiful world go out and make it more so!

Maturity.

So, I'm driving down the road with my two children in the backseat on a road that is known for its speeders.  It is extremely trafficky and to be quite honest I am a little nervous.  People are flying by left and right and I am already more than doing the speed limit.

Then, from somewhere behind me flies two motorcycles with completely inappropriately dressed young men.  No helmets, shorts, flip flops and tank tops.  So pretty much if they go down they are mince meat.  They get directly in front of me and keep looking back at me.  Then without any notice they both take off like a shot , from an already fast speed and then the most insane thing happened.  One of these brilliant individuals in all this mess and merging traffic decides to stand up on his seat..not his pedals the seat!

Yes, extremely impressive.  Yes, extremely stupid.  Now, some might read this and think Cool.  I say No cool!!

I am all for being extreme, but please do so on your own time.  Do not cause complete strangers to be players in your insanity.  Let's say you go down.  Let's say you hit a rock or someone slams on their brakes.  Let's say you die.  Forget about the fact that you are dead, because you are dead and you caused all this anyway so sorry I'm not going to mourn you.

Let's think about the 5 year old in the van next to you that saw you die.  Let's think about the little old woman that squooshed you, and how she has to live with the fact that you are an idiot for the rest of her life.  Let's think about the traffic jam you just caused causing people to be late for things and causing stress and causing possibly other accidents.

I'm not saying you can't be extreme.  You just can't use unsuspecting citizens in your little death wish.  Part of being mature is realizing that the world does not revolve around you and realizing your role in the world.  To be mature is not necessarily a bad thing.  I can be immature with the best of them, but I am not going to be an idiot either.

I shall now step off my soap box.  The end.

Tattoos.

I don't have a problem with tattoos.  I know that some people feel that it is defacing the temple that is your body but I don't really see that.  I mean I get it but I don't really think that if God is weighing the pros and cons of what you have done with your life he is going to be bothered by the fact that you drew on your skin.  It is my opinion that it is more your heart and soul that he is interested in but I digress.

Why do people get tattoos?  It is kind of like getting wallpaper in your house only with wallpaper you can take it down and redo it and tattoos are not going anywhere.  Sure you can have them surgically removed but that hurts like all get out!  I am all about a photo or the name of a loved one.  A date or something that reminds you of an event, bring it on but why would someone put a grocery list on their leg?  I wish I was kidding.  On a woman's thigh in line at the County Clerk yesterday....It read Bread....Milk....Eggs....Shampoo.  That just seems bizarre to me.  What is the point of that?

That's just it though...I don't have to understand.  It is not my position to be judge and jury for this overly forgetful woman who apparently likes french toast and clean hair.  It is a tattoo it does not make her more or less of a person.  She is loved by God just as you are.

We are all the same in God's eyes, he loves us all the same.  It doesn't matter how many bible studies or missions you have organized.  It doesn't matter if you have, in your mind, done something so horrible that you think no one can ever forgive you.  God can!  God will!  You are loved no matter what the world makes you feel like.  You might have gotten a little off track but you are never too far that God can bring you back in.

If you like tattoos go out today and get one somewhere that you will see every day that says God loves me for me!  All you have to do is give him your heart!  You are loved friend!

The Friendship Olympics.

Another issue I have with friendships is the fact that with some people it feels like no matter what you are telling them about your children their children have done that very thing and they have done it 14 times better.

These women do not fall highly on my friendship list either.  When I meet a new friend I do not immediately tell her everything about my family.  I am certainly not going to talk about their accomplishments for fear that it might come across as bragging.  I am going to make small talk and keep the conversation focused mainly on what this new friend and I might have in common.

To be quite honest it takes me quite awhile to feel comfortable enough to tell anyone other than family about the accomplishments my family has because I don't want to come across as pompous or arrogant.

If I say to you my son was selected for the Math Olympics was does that do to you?  Do you think Wow, good for you your son went to the Math Olympics? or Do you go the self loathing route of What have I done wrong that my son isn't good enough in math to go to the Math Olympics or do you turn it on me and think to yourself What a braggart this woman is telling me about her son and how fabulous he is at Math, what a horrible woman.

What is wrong with us that we can't just celebrate the accomplishments of others without making it about ourselves?  God has created each of us so very differently.  There are many many tasks on this huge planet that need to be accomplished and if we are all the same how on earth will they every get completed?

Today I want you to evaluate your friendships.  How many are sincere?  How many are based completely on keeping up appearances?  Are you the type of friend that feels like no matter what someone tells you about their children you have to be one better?  Sit back, relax, let a friend be better at something than you are.  Celebrate that with her.  Be encouraging and sincere.  I guarantee it will feel fabulous!  You don't have to be the best at everything no matter what the world says!

Truth or Fluff?

Can we discuss something that has been bothering me lately?

I am the type of person that from the outside probably looks like I have tons of friends and is very social.  Want in on a big secret?  I totally don't and I'm totally not.   I'll tell you why.

I am horrible at lying.  If I don't like something you say or something you do I am not the type of friend that is going to tell you what you want to hear.  If I have a vested interest in our friendship I am going to tell you exactly what I am thinking and if I don't I am going to avoid you like the plague.  I'm not proud of it, I'm just telling you the truth.  Funny thing about that is that people don't like the truth therefore, I don't have a whole bunch of people that hang around for long periods of time.

Take your appearance for instance, you know like the times when you have been cleaning all morning haven't had time to take a shower or even brush your hair when you realize it is time to go pick up the kids from school?  I am the type of friend that is going to say something like are you ok?  or some other sort of joking remark.  I am not the type of friend that will say you look so cute!  No, I don't!  I know I don't!  I know that I look about as horrible as I possibly can so why on earth would you lie to me and tell me I look cute?  Unless of course you mean Completely Ugly Too Extremes.  Then by all means Yes, I'm totally cute.

In that brief off handed remark, which I'm sure was meant to make me feel better you have single handedly lost my trust.  I will no longer feel comfortable enough to tell you anything of any value.  I can't trust you to tell me the truth.

I can count on one hand the amount of women in my life that I am completely comfortable with baring my soul to.  God has blessed me with their friendship and I only hope that I can return the gift to them.  Today I want you to be the type of friend you would like to have today.  Be sincere.  Be more concerned about their feelings than your own.  Be a friend.

We are called to love one another.  It's our job. :)

Be aware of your surroundings.

I am a pretty friendly outgoing person.  I could pretty much talk to anyone at any time and at least have a somewhat enjoyable conversation or at least have an entertaining story to tell all of you but last night was different.

I was with a group of people who were not the same denomination as I am.  My assumption has always been that we are pretty close in our way of thinking but after my experience I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.  I have had my eyes opened and I have learned the valuable lesson of what not to do to others.

I went to a place where I knew no one and most everyone else knew at least a few of the visitors.  I would try to make random conversations with people and it would go no where.  I've had it happen before so at first it was no big deal but then it became blatantly obvious that these people were more than happy to converse with the ones that they knew but with a stranger?  Oh by all means they would not give a stranger a moment's thought.

What a horrible feeling this was!  I felt like an outcast!  Not one smile came my way.  I would not even receive a simple response to my attempts at conversation just blank stares or eye rolls!  I kid you not!  These people were supposed to be Christians!  I have to tell you that if this is what the world sees when it comes into our churches then they have never been introduced to the love of God!

The Love of God is refreshing.  The Love of God is forgiving.  The Love of God holds no grudges.  The Love of God meets you where you are and loves you just the same!  No matter what you look like, no matter what you have done, no matter what God just Loves you!

I am thankful for my experience last night, I truly am if only for the lesson to be aware of my surroundings.  To always look for the person standing alone.  To always put myself aside and seek out those that might be hurting more than myself.

Every day that you walk around in the world you are given the opportunity to love.  It can be a smile or a hello or holding a door open for someone.  Take a second, slow down and look around.  How can you be a blessing to someone today?  It doesn't take much.

I need to tell you people something!!!

It doesn't matter really.  It isn't even of importance in the long run but it is one of those things that has just blown my mind, and I have to write about it.

Ok. So, I wasn't the type to date much.  I wasn't a real looker.  Most guys liked me as a friend and mainly wanted to meet my friends that were girls and date them...not me.  It wasn't until my sweet hubby that someone actually like me for me.  We are still trying to have him diagnosed, not sure why he would want to get on such a crazy ride that is me!

This is not my point.  My point is I had a crazy low self esteem before I met my betrothed. Anytime I would like a guy they would not like me back.  There were two cases in particular that really did a number on my ego.  Guess what!!!???  I just found out they are both GAY!!!!

Do you know how exciting this is?  Ok.  Maybe not but it is to me.  It makes me feel better in some weird way!  As if I was not a troll back then.  I was just barking up the wrong tree!

I do realize how silly this sounds but I just can't explain it.  It doesn't change anything really it just answers so long buried questions of self doubt and loathing!

I'm gonna stop now because I realize how dumb this must sound to you...All I have to say is...

YAY!  They were Gay!!

Marriage....

Since most of you don't know me and probably never will let's get real for a moment.

Marriage can be hard.  Really hard.  To stay married to one person for the rest of your life well, that's just unheard of in this day and age of disposable everything.  The thought process is if you aren't happy then by all means throw that one out and get another one.  (I would like to interject that this does not apply in all situations and I don't know your situation and if you are offended because your marriage failed because of much deeper harder issues then by all means I am not talking to you!)

I'm talking to the girl I worked with at Proffitt's department store many moons ago that was 18 and decided that she would get married.  It was crazy out of the blue and to some guy she just met and when I asked her about it she said Well, I figure I'll try out this marriage thing and if it doesn't work out we can always get divorced!  Well, no.  That's not exactly the thought process behind marriage although that is apparently what it has become to some.

Take a second.  I want you to think of all of the people in your life.  Parents, grandparents, friends and relations is there any of those people that given the opportunity to be shackled to them for life that they would not at some point get on your nerves even if it is just a smidge?

Ok.  This is my point.  Throw in hormones and you have yourself one fine mess of crazy happenin' all up in here.

You might run into an old flame and they might talk really nice to you and you might start thinking Wow, this person really appreciates me for who I am!  This person gets me!  Hold it right there.  That person no more gets you than the guy that is ringing you up at Target does!  Girls like to hear they are pretty...You're pretty.  That shouldn't make you want to leave your spouse for me.  Girls like to think they are witty and interesting.  I'm sorry but after several years of marriage you just aren't any more, but that's the thing!

Once you decide that you don't want out.  You want to stick with this person you have selected to share your life with through thick and thin and no matter what you aren't going to try to get out something beautiful happens.  I'm not saying it's always there but you can feel it.

Be it the knowledge that this person is your partner throughout your life.  Be it the comfort of knowing they will always be there.  I don't know what it is but it is an ever present orb of warm and fuzzy!

Does my husband not still make me mad from time to time?  Sure!  He is a professional at it!  He has had 22 years of practice at it!  Do I love him more today than I did 22 years ago!  Oh my heavens yes!

God will be faithful to you in your commitment.  God will bless your determination to stick with it and work it out!  It won't be easy!  The easy thing to do would be to just give up, but where is the challenge in that?  May God bless your marriage and may you find peace and comfort with your spouse!

Have a great day!

It is quite easy to misunderstand.

So, I'm new to this thing they call texting.  I like it ok, but I have never really gotten that into it.  However, I realized something.  Translating a text can be a very complicated thing and you can very easily make someone angry when you were trying to be funny without blinking an eye!

Take SOB for instance.  I typed it the other day meaning SOB as in enthusiastically crying!  However, the recipient thought that I meant SOB as in the acronym.  Not at all what I was trying to say, I'm not saying it didn't fit I'm just saying I am not typically that inappropriate.

How often do we not communicate well?  How often do we assume that we understand what another person means without actually listening to them?  You can be completely angry with someone and they be completely in the dark as to why.

Try something for me this week.  Do not automatically assume the worst in all situations.  You might not be this type of person.  You might be the type of person that is oblivious to sarcasm and is living in your own little bubble of happiness...enjoy!  I would much rather be happy than cynical!

However, if you are one of those people that thinks the world is out to get you, everyone hates you and you would be better off living alone on an island then try this.  Ignore hatefulness and celebrate kindness.  Do not even allow yourself to translate something into the negative.

Your day will be better and your world will be brighter.  Enjoy life my friends for it is short and to be cherished.

Up above the clouds so high.

Have you ever flown on a rainy day?  Did you ever marvel at the fact that once you broke through the clouds that were hanging over your city it was still a beautiful day?!

I hadn't ever really thought about it until today when there was a break in the clouds and I could see both the rain and dreariness and the bright blue sky and sunshine at the same time.

It's true though, those clouds that have formed are temporary, some hang around longer than others but they will eventually dissipate and go away.  

The same is true of struggles and depression.  The joy of life is still there you just have to get away from the clouds!

What is holding you down today?  I want you to know that it is okay to be sad and it is okay to be depressed these are all perfectly normal feelings that we all have.  The problem comes when you can't get past the sadness and depression.

I am a Christian and when I am sad I ask God to remove my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy from me.

I pray that you will remember the sunshine is just beyond the clouds and the clouds are temporary.  I hope that you will remember that you are special!  You are the only you that is on this planet!  Today instead of dwelling on what you aren't how about thinking about what you are!?  Think about the positive role that you can play in someone else's life.  How can you push the clouds away for someone else which will in turn push away your own clouds.

I hope that your clouds dissipate and you can see how very much You are loved!

The lowly deviled egg.

I am a firm believer that in order to adequately appreciate another person's position in a situation one must first walk in their shoes.  Therefore if one has not occupied the role that they are complaining about they may not voice their uninformed opinion.

Let me explain.   How many times have you gone to a dinner and complained about the food?  You didn't like the dessert?  The meat was too dry?  The beans were cold?  Okay, now how many times have you cooked the same sort of meal?  Oh, so you say you have cooked the same sort of meal and you are much better at it?  Well, good for you, then you should do it more often as this is apparently your calling in life, but more so my point is you should appreciate the struggle and frustration that this person went through in order to prepare a meal for others...correct?

This scenario plays out in all roles, before you complain how the room mother of your children's class is room mothering have you been the room mother?  Have you been the room mother for the mother's that she is dealing with?  No, you haven't because you didn't have to deal with you and apparently you are part of the problem here!  :)

How about a coach?  A waiter? A garbage man?  Any sort of service industry whatsoever?!  Before you are so judgemental about the people that are performing a task for you I want you to think of the lowly deviled egg.

Have you ever had a deviled egg?  It is pretty much a staple at all pot luck dinners in the south.  Yummy little white and gold blobs of happiness.  Have you ever tried to make a deviled egg?  Sometimes it is as easy as pie and everything just goes smooth as silk and you are done and have perfect little deviled eggs ready for your guests.  Other times you overcook or undercook winding up with either green edged centers or the whites get stuck to the shells and you end up with eggs that look like they have been mauled by rats!

What I am trying to say is that even the simple can be difficult sometimes.  Even the most perfect person can have a bad day, and before you start in about how horrible someone is for something they have done I want you to stop yourself and think what if this was me?  Would I want to be so harshly judged?

Today I want you to extend grace to those around you.  Show them kindness and forgiveness even if they don't deserve it.  Kindness is always better in every situation, and if you can't say something nice then stuff your face full of deviled egg and keep your mouth shut!

Varying kind of friends

You know.  I've been thinking lately.  Isn't if funny how many different kinds of friends we have?  You can lump your acquaintances into the two groups of family and friends easily but there are so many sub categories under each of those headings that friendship can really get quite complicated.

Basic Friend.
Someone who does not repel you instantly.

Good friend.
Someone who you have talked to on more than one occasion and you will not openly hide from if you run into them in your day to day errand running.

Close friend.
Someone that you have shared a meal with, their number is more than likely programed into your phone not because you have needed it for a play date but because you have called them to chat on more than one occasion.  This person is given limited information so as to not become to vulnerable.

Tight friend.
Someone that has seen you at all of the different levels of the emotional spectrum and will still answer your calls.  This person is trusted with most information, remembers the name of your husband and kids, and is pretty well in the know regarding your family matters.  This person is allowed to stay at this status unless they begin to act as if they know you better  than you know yourself, and if this is to occur they are immediately bumped down to a cross between a basic and a good friend.

BFF
This person knows you inside and out.  You don't get mad when they tell you that you are acting like a jerk.  You can look at this person and they will immediately know what you are thinking and you will both laugh hysterically..on the inside.  If this person were to call you at 2 in the morning with a need you would not get upset you would fill that need without thinking.

UBER BFF
This person is a combination of all the aforementioned friend types , however, this person has never made you so mad that you didn't want to hang out with them for awhile.  This person is incapable of hurting your feelings or making you angry because this person is so much like you they would never do that.  If you haven't spoken to this person in 6 days or 6 months there is no difference.  You do not assume they are mad at you, you just know that life is busy and they are dealing with the same amount of craziness that you are dealing with and it doesn't mean they don't love you!

All friendships should be cherished.  You probably will not have many BFF's or UBER BFF's in your lifetime.  These are like winning the lottery and when you find them know that you are very blessed to have them in your life.  A friendship is a gift from God that helps make this stay on earth that much more bearable.

I am thankful for my friendships that God has blessed me with.  Heaven knows you poor souls have got a hard row to hoe.  Thank you for helping me through this crazy life!!

Racism is stupid.

I have been watching a bunch of shows on slavery lately on PBS.  It makes me so sad to think of such a horrible event in history.  The American Indians having their land stolen from them is another topic I don't like to think about but it happened and as with anything in history if we do not know about it we are destined to repeat it and that is not something I want to do.

It's been going on throughout history you know.  Slavery and injustices.  It is a fallen horrible world with evil and sin trying to win out.  It is better for evil if we are against each other and if we fight one another that plays right into the devils plan.

I want to talk about something though.  My small brain can not fathom many things, but one thing that I understand is that we all came from Adam and Eve.  1 couple.  I don't know how it all worked.  I'm pretty sure there wasn't a Discovery Channel camera crew doing a reality television show back then, but I am a Christian and it is my belief that we all, every last one of us, came from 1 couple.

Now, think about that for a minute.  That means that we are all just one big family.  If you have darker skin maybe you lived in a climate with a lot of sun and your skin had to adapt darker in order to protect itself.  If you have crazy light skin and blonde hair maybe you came from a colder climate where your body didn't need as much natural protection.  I don't know how it all happened but I truly believe that it did.

I am not perfect.  There are people out there in the world that I don't care for, but my annoyance does not come from the color of ones skin or the shape of your eyes.  My dislike comes from hatefulness or an unkind heart.

If you are a kind person that shows love and is kind to others I'm going to like you.  If you are able to make me laugh, you are going to have to get a restraining order, because laughter is one my favorite things in the world!!

I want you to go out into the world today and just be nice.  If you can't do that stay home cause you aren't doing anybody any favors by being a jerk.  Life is hard and we don't need it to get any harder.  Go out there and lighten someones load today!!

Weird People!!

I'm home alone today with only my thoughts to keep me company.  My world has been pretty crazy insane lately and the house looks like a domestic explosion happened.  I was thinking about stuff in general and I wanted to tell you what I realized.

Weird people don't think they are weird.  

Do you see what I'm saying here?  No one thinks of themselves as one of the weird ones.  I mean I know I'm quirky and not run of the mill but it is my own opinion that I am not strange as in certifiable.  

Take my exercise class for instance.  There is a woman in there that it brings me great joy when she gets where I can see her because she is hysterical to watch.  She is all over the place with not a stitch of rhythm to her little hairy armpit mismatched clothing wearin' body!  She is hysterical!  The thing is...she doesn't know it.  It's not like she comes in there are realizes that she is putting on a little show for me.  She is very serious about her exercising and never cracks a smile.  I am quite positive without a doubt that she thinks she looks good working out.  

Let's go a little more extreme.  To me it is weird to pierce and tattoo and disfigure your body beyond recognition.  I'm not talking about the occasional tattoo.  I'm talking about the people that put the things in their skull to look like horns and split their tongue to look like a reptile.  To me that is bizarre.  I can not even imagine doing something like that to myself, but to them it is totally normal.  They have friends that look the exact same way and they get together to discuss their piercings and tattoos and infections and blood clots.  They know that you look at them like their weird but they don't think they are.  

Let's go a little less extreme what about vegetarians?  There are meat loving carnivores who become completely offended by people who don't eat meat.  What about people who don't cut their hair or won't drive cars?  Weird right?  No, not to them.  

Weirdness is a matter of opinion.  Weirdness is just difference, and difference is a good thing.  We don't need to all be cookie cutter people, Stepford wives if you will.  It is totally okay to be a little different from everyone else.  As long as you are being kind to others and understanding that this is a big planet that we all live on and there is room for all of us you will do just fine.  

You can find something in common with anyone if you look hard enough.  Do you both like to breathe?  Start there.  It's crazy how fast you can find common ground when you try.  Do not distance yourselves from others just because you do not understand them.  Knowledge is power and Kindness can change the world.  

Go out and talk to a weirdo today....and if someone comes up and talks to you don't be offended, cause its good to be weird!!

Don't go into the pit alone!

We all get depressed.  (If you don't stop reading now and go ride that pet unicorn of yours home to rainbow and butterfly land cause this will not help you!)

It is going to happen.  Someone is going to hurt your feelings or you aren't going to get enough sunshine. Something is going to happen at work or you are going to be disappointed about something and you are going to go spiraling down into the pit of despair.  It's there.  You've seen it.  You might even be in it right now!

I'm here to tell you that it is way to hard to get out of it on your own.  You need to engage the buddy system.  Let's start with you that are walking around the outside of the pit.  You aren't really sure what you are upset about but you just aren't all there.  Maybe you are angry and want to punch something or maybe you are so sad all you can do is cry all the time only you have no clue why!

It's hormones people and it is completely normal.  I promise!!!  My doctor said that if I would do some sort of exercise 30 min of every day, be it walking or whatever tickles my fancy it would be as if he had put me on a round of anti depressants!  I have to tell you it is totally true!  I started exercising in the fall and this winter was way better on the depression scale than others in the past.

Okay, you people already down in the pit.  Maybe you were tossed in there with a loved ones death or some other catastrophic event.  It is totally okay to be sad!!!  Change is hard!  Death is hard!  I want to ask you something though.  Is this the way your loved one would want you to be living?  Would your loved one want you to be wearing a bathrobe and be going on 2 weeks without a shower?  Your loved one is still with you!  Their memory will be with you forever and when you see them again one day do you want to tell them about all the wonderful things you did with the rest of your life or do you want to tell them that you just gave up after they were gone because it was just too hard?

In either case, this is where the buddy comes in.  A friend can listen to your problems and help you out of the pit that you have dug.  A true friend will tell you the truth about what you are depressed about.  A pit buddy will let you lower yourself down into these emotions that you are feeling so that you can better understand them and so that you can get past them.  You would be surprised what talking about something will do for your situation.  Either you will hear how silly you sound, or you will gain perspective as to how to get out.

Now don't get more depressed because you don't have a buddy.  You are going to have to get out there if you don't have one.  Go to a class.  Go to the library.  Meet new people! Whatever just get out there and start seeing the good things about this world.  You have to come up with your own good things but I will tell you one of mine.

Last week was yet another crazy busy week in the world that is mine.  One evening everyone in my family was occupied with something so I grabbed a glass bottle coke and walked out on to our front porch.  I sat and watched as the birds played in our front yard, I felt the cool breeze, I smelled the spring flowers blooming, I just sat.  It was the most therapeutic thing I've done in awhile.

Life isn't easy.  People are going to disappoint you and even make you mad.  Don't let negative emotions rule your world.  Cling to the pleasantness that is your life.  Find a Golden nugget as Leah would say.  They are there, they are just harder to find that is why they are so wonderful!

Have a wonderful day my friends!

Selflessness

I need to tell you about what my daughter last night.  It moved me so much!  More than anything has in awhile.  Mainly because it was all of her doing!

As I teach my children, I hope that I am raising them right.  To be kind loving individuals that are a blessing to those around them and not a drain.  I want them to be selfless rather than selfish, but it is hard to teach a child that because the world is so all about how much you can get for you!

Last night was my son's 10th birthday party for family.  It is a tradition that we go to this pizza place with a game room and eat pizza and play games.  It's nice and clean, the pizza is good and every birthday is just a really nice time.

My daughter had been talking about wanting to get her brother something for his birthday and with his real party not until Sunday I had promised to take her on Saturday.  She had already gotten a five dollar bill out of her piggy bank and wrapped it up for him but that just wasn't enough for her.

Typically when we go to this arcade my daughter doesn't win many tickets and she only gets some candy or something small, but this time she was on a roll!  She had won 1,000 tickets from one game and just kept racking them up.  She kept asking if she had to share.  I had told her no because this was rare for her and I wanted her to enjoy it.  All told she ended up with 1,500.  She wanted to go cash them in alone.

She walked over and the man told her she had 1,500 tickets.  She asked him how much this basketball was.  Now maybe I should stop here.  Basketball is my son's thing.  Not so much my daughters.  So, when she told the man that was what she wanted it threw me.  I said but honey you won't have any left to get what you want.  She said I know.  She took the basketball from the man and handed it to her brother.  Oh my sweet precious angel.

The world could take a lesson from my little girl.  Everyone is so worried about getting their fair share and  making sure that no one is getting more than they are that we forget about being selfless.  It is rewarding to put others before yourself.

My mother always says that the easiest way to cheer yourself up is to do something nice for someone else.  She's right you know!  Try it.  Stop for just one moment putting yourself at the center of attention and look around you for someone who might be hurting worse.  Someone who could use a hand or a pat on the back.  It will make you feel better to be kind and that kindness will only spread, and that kindness will bless you more than any material thing you will ever own.

Have a fantabulous day my friends!  Be a blessing!

Slow down.

A friend made a comment to me today that threw me a curve ball.  It made me start thinking and I hate it when I do that.  It means that not until I come talk to you guys am I going to feel better about it.  So, I'm here and hopefully this will come across in a calm cool collected manner and not sound like some raving lunatic.  Here goes....

I was speaking to a friend about a huge event that is coming up.  Last year there was one woman that played a major role.  I asked if she was doing it again this year and the answer was no.  I asked why.  She said it was because of differing opinions on how things should go.  The example was that the woman thought that the project would be more of a bonding get to know each other time for the workers and it was other's opinion that it should be just a "get it done" type thing.

Ok.

Now.

Let's say this project is a banquet.  There are lots of different aspects to said banquet.  You have to invite people.  You have to find someone to decorate.  You have to find someone to do food.  It will not be easy and it is going to get stressful.  It is how projects like this typically are.

I guess my problem with the thought of it being a hurry up and get it done type thing is that you have then missed out on the purpose of the task and why on earth did you even do it in the first place?  You can say that it is for the end result and I understand that, but the end result while it in and of itself will have wonderful effects on people, isn't necessarily the only opportunity for connection.

Communication is key in all aspects of your world.  If a company does not have a good open line of communication with its employees then productivity will not be at a maximum.  All of the different facets of the company will operate as singular beings all getting upset with the other groups for not adequately meeting their expectations.

Jean Webster says

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; 

it's making a great deal out of the little ones. 

So, with that in mind.  The banquet would not be the activity at all.  The preparation would be the activity.  The strengthening of relationships within the company.   The ability to get to know one another and work toward a common goal.  Then, in fact, the banquet would be the prize.  The culmination of different persons coming together to work together toward a common goal.

It is my humble opinion that if it becomes a hurry up and get it done task, feelings will get hurt, walls will be built and opportunities will be missed.

I don't know how to fix your situation.  Every situation has so many different levels to it that you will have to decide that for yourself.  The purpose of my post is to state that we all need to slow down.  Enjoy the day to day and don't get so hot and bothered that others around you aren't living up to your expectations.

Get to know the people around you and genuinely listen to their needs and concerns.  You just might get a refreshingly different perspective.  If you feel like you are the person who always does everything don't for once.  See what happens.  Do others pick up the ball and run with it or does it just lie there?  Sometimes a ball needs to be dropped before a problem can be acknowledged.

Remember.  We are all on this planet together.  We are all hurting.  We are all good at different tasks and learn in different ways.  That doesn't make us bad or hard to deal with that just makes us different and that's a good thing.

I will end with a food reference, just because I can.  Take a chocolate chip cookie for instance.  Everyone wants to be the chocolate chip.  The star!  It's very name defines the cookie, but everyone can't be the chocolate chip.  Somebody has to be the vanilla.  Somebody has to be the baking soda, the flour, the sugar.  It is all these ingredients that come together to make the deliciousness that is the final product.  If the chocolate chip starts trying to do all of the other parts jobs you will end up with a big chocolately mess and it will no longer be a chocolate chip cookie it will be goo.

Slow down, let those around you shine, allowing yourself to savor the experience and others to enjoy it too!

Love you all!

Slow down and put down that finger!!!

We were driving home this evening and all of a sudden from behind us comes this car...now let me just tell you that I am a pretty fast driver so I was generously going the speed limit already. This car passed us as if we were standing still!

My daughter said Mommy, was that a race car? I wanted to say No dear that was a stupid person and stupid people apparently drive really fast! I didn't because in our house stupid is a bad word, but oh how I wanted to. Actually I wanted to use an even worse word it rhymes with some glass...you know the one, but I didn't want to have to wash my mouth out with soap. So, I refrained.

Why is it that people are so reckless with their driving? I mean come on... with the texting drivers and the angry drivers, and the older drivers and the distracted drivers and the stupid drivers it is a wonder anyone ever gets anywhere alive!! Throw in this guy that had to at least be doing 80 in a 40 and one little lol could send everyone to the hospital or worse. Just because fun bass wanted to see how fast his little kit car would go.

Part of what is wrong with this world today is that we are so concerned about our own happiness and success that we could care less about others and lifting their needs above our own. So what if the lady in front of you is driving a little slow it isn't her fault that you are running late next time get up with plenty of time to get there or just deal with the fact that you are late. Flipping her off only ruins her day and then she will be hateful to someone else and the circle just might even come back and slap you in the face later on in the day. Don't even start that crap!

Be kind. Be considerate. Be loving. It will do you a far better bit of good than being a some gas ever will. I promise. Have a great day!!

There's nothing new under the sun!

So, as I told you my old college had a fun day yesterday. So, when they posted the pictures from it of course I had to look. One thing struck me...hard!

As I would look through the pictures I would find people that I knew. Not personally mind you but I could tell from their dress and their actions that they were like someone that was at the school when I was there.

It is as if it is all a big play and each year someone new fills the part. You have the mousy quiet girl who watches from the sidelines, you have the overly testosteroned guy who plays sports and yells a lot, you have the studious people that are so pasty you know that they are going to be sunburned the next day.

We all play a vital role in the world that the Good Lord has placed us in. We get to choose how we are going to play it. Are you going to be outgoing? Are you going to be shy? Are you going to wear a speedo and appear to have a crack problem?

What role are you playing in your life today? Get in there and enjoy your life. Whatever you want to be is neither right nor wrong. You don't have to be loud and outgoing to be right and you don't have to be quiet and shy to be right. You just have to be you! How do you want to play your role? It's the role of a lifetime and you get to construct it!

The thing is though you have to live in the present. Don't be so concerned about how you were before, that play has already been cast with new players. Who are you today and what do you want to portray to the world? All I ask is that you do so with a kind heart and loving spirit. There is enough bad stuff in the world that those parts are filled and need to be deleted from the script permanently!

Have a wonderful day my friends!!

Marvelous Monday!!

Today is Marvelous Monday at my old college. It is a time honored tradition of a day off with fabulously fun activities planned that you have no clue when it is going to be each year. It might be a Wonderful Wednesday or a Terrific Tuesday you just don't know until you get that little slip of paper under your door that states that classes have been cancelled and you are to go back to bed!!!

I love that day! This is a picture of myself and two friends from one of our Wonderful Wednesdays. It is just so clear to me why I didn't date....would it have killed someone to tell me to calm my hair down?

It's been 18 years since I was in college. If I had a baby right when I graduated from college that baby would be starting college this fall!!! Crazy!!

Marvelous Monday reminded me of something today and I wanted to share it with you.

I have always prayed that I would live a life with no regrets. It's a hard request because you as a human will always second guess yourself. If only I had gone with this career choice or what if I had never even gone to that school!! Choices that you are making today are shaping the life that you will have in the future.

I can remember being in college, and every year there would be an alumni weekend. It was one weekend out of the year where alumni could come back and see old friends and show their school off to their kids! I can actually remember saying "Why on earth are these people wasting their time coming back here? When I graduate I will go so far from this place I will never return." I was stupid really. Lesson learned here is never say never.

This morning when Marvelous Monday was announced several of us alumni were remembering our past Wonderful Wednesdays. A current student posted how sweet she thought it was. I'm not sure if she was being sarcastic or not but it reminded me of my old cynical self and if I could go back and change anything one thing would be to live those 4 years at my college to the fullest! Study harder, love the degree I have selected, be more involved!!

Don't get me wrong I still have very fond memories of my Alma Mater! I always will! I just wish I had lived more in the moment I was in!

I can remember doing that when my kids were small. I was too busy trying to keep my head above water I didn't enjoy the pre-school years. I'm doing it now...I'm so tired of laundry and a messy house I just want to move on to the next stage! I will miss this stage. As much as this stage is driving me crazy I am sure that there will be a day when I would give anything to go back and live just one of these crazy days. Preferably one of the calmer ones.

Life is so short! Enjoy the life that has been given to you and love those that are around you! Stop waiting for the perfect situation to do what you want to do, do it now!!

Have a Marvelous Monday!!!

Allow your children to be a blessing.

I found out that I was pregnant with my eldest right before 9/11 happened. In fact, I hadn't announced that I was pregnant yet to my co-workers. I can remember feeling this overwhelming amount of worry of what kind of world I was bringing my precious child into. I am an adult. I am not as impressionable. I know what is right but for a child to grow up in a world with so much hatred in it how on earth could that be a good thing?

I can remember when I finally did confide in a friend that I was pregnant and how it didn't feel right being so excited. I will always remember what she said to me. Through teary eyes she said Oh, Please don't feel that way, that baby you are carrying is a sign of hope, of new life, of change! How right she was! My baby would be brought up in love and taught to love others and be kind to others no matter what their situation.

We need to remember that if our answer to evil is to run from it it will only grow stronger. We must combat it with love! So many times I hear that people are keeping their children from the world because of the horrible things that are in the world. It is true. I agree, but are you going to keep your child in a bubble for the rest of their life? How will they know how to handle bad things when confronted with them if they are not taught life lessons along the way?

Take a plant for instance. If you bring it up from seed indoors and you only allow it a controlled temperature and a certain amount of sun and water it will grow it might even thrive but if you take that plant outdoors and you leave it to fend for itself it will surely die.

You must temper a plant. You must allow it to be exposed to the differing temperatures and water levels with a watchful eye allowing it to be protected from the extremes. Isn't that just like parenting?

My mother was born in the middle of the depression. She is a light of joy and a bright spot in this world. They may have not always had financial wealth, but they always had love. As you raise your precious children in this world remember that while this is not our forever home it is our home for now and we must bring light and love to all of those around us. Teach your children to do the same.

Don't even get me started about stranger danger...that is a different post all together.