What I would say if I could say it....

Daddy's death has reminded me of something I hold dear.

I grew up at Woodlawn Christian Church from age 5 until I left for college.  After college, when I moved back to Knoxville I didn't want to go to Woodlawn any more because I felt like it was my parent's church and that I would never feel like an adult there.  I chose a church very similar to Woodlawn and went there for over 20 years.  I have to say I never felt plugged in.  Don't get me wrong I volunteered and I tried classes, I taught Wee worship, I went to the weekly meals but it just never seemed right.  We moved to a mega church a few years ago and I absolutely love the preaching.  Love...Love...Love.  My children love their youth groups.  Love...Love...Love.

The thing is IT'S SO BIG!!!!  If I were to miss no one would notice.  They are never going to call down from the stage something about me and the audience know exactly what they are talking about. None of the preachers know me enough to have even come to daddy's funeral and that made me sad.

My entire life I have been Jim Pierson's daughter, and trust me in the Christian church "Jim Pierson" is an adjective.  My daddy was a huge presence known all over the world for his work with disability ministry.  We could not go anywhere without daddy knowing someone.  Getting out of church to go to lunch on a Sunday was IMPOSSIBLE!!!  We would have to physically drag him from the building.

I had gotten used to my anonymous life.  No one knew me for what I had always been known for.  They only knew me for me.  I mean I'm okay and all but not the super star that daddy was.   Speaking for large crowds, on television, writing books, teaching courses, seminars, daddy got around, only then he died, and I read his obituary and I stood for hours while people paid their respects and told me hundreds of beautiful things my father had done for them.

I want to make my daddy proud.  I want to make change in this sucktacular world.  I want to be a light!  I want my preacher to know my name.  My mother said I should start going to Woodlawn again.  She said she would love to have us there and that they have a great youth group.  I could totally do that.  I have to tell you that there were so many familiar loving faces that knew me by name and hugged me and made me feel loved that there is a part of me that thinks that might be an option. Absolutely.  The thing is I currently don't feel like that is the best move for me and my family.  The church I am a member of currently is convicting me, it is filling me, it is teaching me, it just doesn't know how awesome I am!!  Kidding...kinda.  I just want it to use me!

I want to serve my church as my parents did before me.  I want to feel like I have a place.  God knows where he wants me, needs me to serve.  He will place me exactly where he wants me.  I will serve him by Going out....Being kind.