Donna

My mother had one sister that was 5 years her elder, her name was Betty.  My Aunt Betty married early and had 4 children pretty soon thereafter, okay, technically she had three children pretty soon thereafter and then she had my cousin David way later.

My mother on the other hand got married later in life and then struggled to have children so long story short my eldest cousin has children that are closer to my age than my cousin is.

My cousin Rick married a girl named Donna that he met early on and they were married half way through college.  He lost her this past week.  Not as in he can't find her, he knows exactly where she is, as in cancer is a hateful beast and it took her from him.

We all had dinner the night of the receiving of friends and he said how he didn't know why she married him.  I have an answer for that but I tend to be way more eloquent when I write rather than when I speak so let's see if I can do a better job now than I did that night.

Someone once advised me before I got married that I needed to look for the man that I didn't feel like I deserved, but to make sure that he also felt like he didn't deserve me and then to spend the rest of our lives trying to prove to that person that we were the only one for them.

Rick and Donna were like that.  She is a happy smiling bottle of joy.  Rick is a little more reserved.  He is technical.  She is creative.  They both had their strengths and both had their weaknesses and together they made the perfect whole.

Marriage is hard.  Marriage is two individuals with two separate life paths forging together to make one bonded whole.  If you want a good marriage you have to figure out how to still maintain your individuality all while creating the whole that is your relationship.   The two individuals were created by God for a purpose.  The hard part of marriage comes when you must find that balance of individual and couple.  

Serve your spouse.  Love your spouse.  Love them even more than you love yourself.  Do not expect the same from them it is not a competition.  Do these things for your spouse because you realize that marriage is hard work.  Do these things because you value your marriage, and want to make it the best you can.  Your spouse is a gift that was given to you by God. 

My cousin lost his wife way too early.  They still have a ton of life to live together.  God had a different plan.  Rick and Donna were a unit.  A team.  The life that they created is not a light that has been put out because Donna died.  It is a fire that has just started, and will continue to burn for generations to come.  She will be greatly missed.