Perfect relationship.

A young, unmarried, childless friend of mine follows a twitter account called Perfect Relationship.  Every once in awhile she will retweet different aspects of a perfect relationship that she agrees with and desires.  I too can remember the idealistic attributes of a relationship that I dreamed of long ago before marriage.  However, at this point, almost 18 years into marriage and two kids later I realize that the things that unmarried individuals need to be looking for are way more basic.

The latest post was "I want someone that I can lie my head on his chest and fall asleep while he plays with my hair."  Ok.  Can I just say, that's not a spouse....that's a mother or a grandmother thing to do.

A perfect relationship can be equated to the perfect team.  Your spouse will be your teammate.  Sometimes they will have the ball and sometimes you will.  It isn't so much who is holding the ball as it is how well you are able to work together to play the game.

Here is a list of random traits to ponder your significant other's aptitude toward.

1. Do they have a high tolerance to bodily fluids not only from themselves and you but from others?
2. Do they feel responsible to provide for your relationship? This is not necessarily monetarily.
3. Are they are handy around the house?
4. Do they see tasks that need to be done and do them without asking or having to be asked?  Do they need praise for having done them?
5. Do they understand the "Laughter is the best medicine" theory?
6. Can they see when you need to be tagged out in parenting without making you feel guilty about it or making your children realize your weakness'?
7. Are their parents still married?  How is their relationship?  Is it one that you want to replicate?
8. Do they do little things for you?  Like they know your favorite candy bar or drink and they will bring you one randomly, or if you don't want to go the food route, do they know a chore that you are responsible for that you don't enjoy and they do it every so often without being asked?

A good relationship comes in many different packages.  We all have different likes and dislikes.  We all like to play different roles.  Finding an individual that is not only capable but also willing to put up with your good side and your bad side is not going to be easy.  Life gets hard.  A vomiting child at 2 in the morning when everyone just wants to sleep is a test that you don't get to take until way past the start of the race.  Make sure you select your teammate wisely.