Circus Fun

In honor of October 10, 2010, I am going to make a list of 10 things I observed at the circus today whilst there with my family.

1. If the Ringmaster of your circus is a woman instead of a man the big booming voice is going to get on your nerves after about the first act. First off it is really hard to even understand what she is saying and at some point in time you are going to start wondering if that is what her voice sounds like all the time. You know like when she is waking up her children or ordering a meal? That whole Let's get ready to rumble voice is more suited for a man in my own humble opinion.

2. Something called the Wheel of Destiny can't be good. I spent the whole time wondering if the guy was tripping just to make the crowd go wild or if he was really a clutz. Imagine a huge metal structure that is two circles reminiscent of hamster wheels on the ends that spins round and round because of two men prancing about inside of them. At some point one of the men thinks hmmm walking on the inside of the hamster wheel is so passe I believe I will walk on the outside and pretend to trip and fall. I would certainly hate to learn the hard way that the fright factor is not necessary. The mere fact that you can walk in a hamster wheel some 4 stories above ground is awe inspiring. If you want to do something wild light yourself on fire for heaven's sake.

3. When it is a 3 ring circus and there are 3 juggling acts in the 3 different rings who are you supposed to watch? I would be watching one group and then out of the corner of my eye I would see that another couple was standing on each other's shoulders then my eye would wander to someone on fire and then some blonde who would catch balls behind her back although bless her heart she missed. It was all very impressive but I would have liked to been able to concentrate on each act.

4. I have found that in order to work in the circus if you are pretty, skinny and somewhat able to walk and pose you are well suited for most of the positions. If you can also point and smile you are in!

5. I don't care how many sequins and feathers you are wearing if you are riding an elephant it is going to look strange. You can not ride one of those big mamas and look graceful. It looked like it was a really good ab workout to stay on those things without holding on, you know because of all the pointing and smiling.

6. My personal favorite was the act that had two men dressed in open shirts in order to reveal their lovely hairless chests with sequins galore riding motorcycles decked out in windshields that looked like skulls that were being driven on high wires. Beneath the wire and attached to the cycles was a metal contraption that contained two skantily clad women who were really good at the posing not so much the gesturing because they were holding on for dear life. They would race back and forth on the wire pausing only to flip the entire ordeal or point and gesture. To these people I would like to say. With all of the stuff you have going on it is completely unnecessary to paint your face to look like you have some sort of strange eye patch scar thingy. Ain't nobody lookin' at your face!

7. If you are texting whilst trying to watch your child and the circus whilst rushing down steep stairs and you think you are not going to trip and make all those around you laugh with glee...you are misled.

8. The men selling things up and down the aisles will place themselves in front of you during the part where the woman is shooting an arrow with her feet in order to pop a balloon all while dangling upside down if you do not buy their crap.

9. With a circus being a joy for people from all walks of life to go to it is highly likely that you are going to be sitting near someone that annoys you. My personal joy? The small child that was placed behind me who was allowed to purchase the siren light up thingy that he LOVED by the way and made the precious treasure go off constantly not only was it lighting and sounding my world he had it resting on the back of my chair so I was feeling the vibration too. Lovely. I will say that of the entire afternoon this was the only unpleasantry and in retrospect it wasn't that horrible. A massage if you will.

10. Does anyone else ever wonder what is going through the animals brains? Assuming they understand it all. The tigers look pissed off. The elephants look bored out of their skulls and the dogs just look like they are having a blast! The only thing that this circus was missing was flying monkies. Every circus needs a monkey!

Happy 10-10-10 everyone!