Squirrels

The other day I had the funniest thing happen and the story involved a squirrel. A friend of mine said I love your squirrel stories...ies...as if there were more than one. I thought how odd but then I thought about it. There is more than one. Some of which are not for the faint of heart and end with the squirrels ultimate demise but some are quite humorous so I thought I would tell them now.

I love working in the clinic at my kids school. I get to know some of the students from other grades, and see some of the teachers but most of all I love the reasons that these children come to the clinic. The tough cases are few and far between, the majority of the cases are of a "I just wanted to walk the hall" type nature. The other day a little girl came in with an escort (i.e. a friend to help her walk to the clinic) She had one eye covered and said that her book had hit her in the eye. I looked and could see nothing. No redness, no blood, no nothing so I gave her some ice and she left very happy with her ice bag. The protocol is to write in a log that something has happened to the child and the log stays with the child throughout their entire time at the school. Now, on the line above where I was writing comes the squirrel part. I asked the clinic supervisor what on earth had happened the last time this little girl came to the clinic and she laughed. This is what happened....

The little girl entered the clinic, which is pretty much a closet with a cot, in a very dramatic fashion and announced I am not a liar. The clinic worker said I didn't say you were. The little girl said I couldn't even make this stuff up! The clinic worker said okay what happened because there was no sign of trauma or need for this child to even be in the clinic. The little girl began in very dramatic hand gesturing fashion...I was on the playground picking up acorns when all of a sudden I looked up. There sitting on a branch was a squirrel who was also gathering acorns. We made eye contact and I could tell he was not very happy with me stealing his nuts...but I wasn't stealing them! Then out of the blue the squirrel threw an acorn at me and hit me on the head! On purpose! The clinic worker said Are you hurt? The little girl said No. The clinic worker said Well, then why did you come to the clinic? The little girl said A SQUIRREL JUST THREW A NUT AT ME AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD! The clinic worker said are you hurt? The little girl said well, no. The clinic worker said Would you like some ice? The little girl said Yes! Ice fixes all wounds in the clinic world.

So, that was the one that started it all.  There was one time when I still lived at home when my mother heard something under the couch and I went to look to see what it was and there staring back at me were two little beady eyes at which point I screamed and my mother screamed and I'm sure the squirrel screamed! It came running out, my mom grabbed a broom I opened the door and the stupid thing went further in the house. My mother starts shutting all the doors and a neighbor walks up to the front door to witness general mayhem and broom slinging. The silly little thing finally walked out on his own.

One time on a ride with my parents to see my grandparents I was laying down in the backseat reading and I heard my mother say Run little Squirrel Run little Squirrel...thump thump...JIM!!! Any ideas what happened there?

Another squirrely incident happened next door, the neighbor once had a squirrel that just would not get out of the house so he got a shotgun and shot the thing....in his house....on the draperies.  

The kids found "a mouse" on the playground and wanted me to help it. I went to the "mouse" and that was no mouse. It was a baby squirrel whose eyes weren't even opened yet. I went by my vet and they said that the college vet clinic was the only place that would take wild animals. I wanted to say this thing isn't wild it is a baby but whatever. We took the little thing to the school and they will rehabilitate him and send him on his merry way. So, there is one good thing I have done for a squirrel.

Squirrels. Who would of thunk?