Summer accessories

Can we talk for a moment about the heat of summer and adding way more productive summer accessories?

I'm a sweater.  Not a lovely winter top, but sweat as in liquid pouring from the very orifices of ones pit and facial type areas.  I'm not so much a pit girl myself but my face?  I genuinely look like I have dipped my face in vaseline the second I leave air conditioning.  I can wipe it off with my tee shirt but it's coming right back so there is really no point except for to make others around me more comfortable.  I too am bothered by looking at a person with sweat dripping down their face when ain't nobody doing jazzercise.

I don't know why I do it.  Maybe it's because I'm a big girl.  Maybe its because my sweat glands are blocked on every other part of my body and this is the only way for the sweat to escape.  Maybe I have issues, I don't know I just do ok stop judging.

I've decided I want to come up with some fashion accessories to alleviate my problem and stop using my shirts as a sweat mop.

1. Towel bracelets.  You could wear one or two.  They would have elastic around your wrist and then the excess would cover your hands allowing your hands to be shaded yet not covered like a glove.  Simply dab the sweat off ones face that then allow the towel bracelet to naturally air dry for its next use.  Available in a variety of colors and lengths, monogramming also available.

2. Towel scarf.  Scarves are so popular these days why not take a towel and cut it into a thin strip then fashion said Towel scarf in the ways that one would use a regular scarf only now the scarf is way more absorbent and suited to dabbing ones face.

3. Towel earrings.  Throw back to the 80's and enjoy these fashion forward face mops.  When not in use these beauties hang pleasantly beneath ones ear gradually pulling your ear lobe to an impressive tribal hole.

4. Retractable visor mop.  Most of the day this fashion fabulous visor looks like your every day run of the mill visor, but wait just pull on the brim and out dispenses a lovely fresh towel to wipe ones brow.  Once finished, simply press a button on the back on your head and the towel retracts within the visor.  Don't worry about germs the visor contains anti bacterial properties to refresh ones towel every time its not in use.

5. Breast air conditioners.  These beauties can be placed in any bra and can be pre programmed to only come on when the temperature under your breasts reaches a scorching 200 degrees.  Another bonus of these wonders is that they will lift and separate all while keeping you cool and dry.  Also available in crotch form.

You think I'm kidding?  Not so much.  :)