So, I'm angry. I probably shouldn't be. Don't really have any reason to be, but I am. There is a birthday party today. It was apparently all anyone could talk about today. The entire 6th grade was invited, boys and girls! It is a really cool party thrown by one of the wealthier families with cool stuff and it is a huge deal! A few didn't get invited, thus the angry part.
We didn't invite this child to our party. We also didn't invite the entire grade to the party. A child came to our party who wasn't even invited and the child's parents never even explained why their child was there. He came with someone who was invited and left when texted by whomever picked him up. It was awkward. I did the right thing. I allowed the child to stay and participate and eat. I never raised a ruckus..I guess until now but again to recap...I'm mad.
Middle school is hard enough without someone throwing an exclusive party. I don't know these parents. I'm not even sure my child would have gone had he been invited but when all anyone can talk about at school is this fabulous party and everyone is invited except you when you already are in the whole frame of mind that you don't fit in and no one likes you.....I'm frustrated.
I need someone to tell me when this gets easier. I need someone to tell me that I am not the one messing up my kid. I need someone to DO THE RIGHT THING.
1 comment:
You're doing the right thing. You are raising your kids well, and you are leading by example. Your son and daughter will be stronger, more empathetic and sympathetic, more aware of others' feelings and more prone to smarter and better decisions, all thanks to the mindfulness which you as a parent show them. Your child saw the kindness you showed the uninvited guest at his party and, consciously or not, absorbed the message you showed in being kind and welcoming to that child. He will feel the pain of being excluded; you can't take that away from him. But you can remind him that this is an example of why he should be mindful of others and considerate of their feelings. Remind him that he is smart, and kind, and capable, and has friends that appreciate him and his ideas, his sense of humor and all of his contributions to that circle of friends...and that those are the friends you keep for life. It's painful to see him hurting, I know. But remember, he is watching you and listening (whether it seems like it or not), and he will learn to handle his feelings of rejection and feeling like an outsider based on the examples you set for him. He will have what those other kids don't as he grows into adulthood -- character, morality, mindfulness, humility, determination and empathy.
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