Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda.

Does anyone else have little things that they wish they had done?  Not really regrets because then you wouldn't be where you are today but things that you wonder how life would be different if you had stuck with them?  I do.

1. I love to sing.  I used to have a pretty nice voice.  I was in choir and ensembles and I loved to sing and for people to tell me what a nice voice I had.  Well, I lost it.  Now don't get me wrong I can still whip it out when need be but I don't sing as much as I used to.  I don't know why.  I know where the downfall started.  It was born out of vanity.  I mustered every ounce of courage I had to sing in a talent show.  I thought I did ok but I didn't win.  It wounded me somehow.  I guess I felt like I wasn't good enough and from that point forward I just didn't find the joy in singing that I had always found.  I went off to college and I didn't join the choir.  I didn't technically know how to read music and I didn't want to be embarrassed.

How sad.  Singing brings me joy.  I allowed my own vanity to rob me of joy.  Stupid.

2. I wanted to be a teacher.  I was the President of the Future Teacher's of America.  I thought it would be a wonderful profession.  I don't even know why this one didn't happen, but right now I am so weary of picking up messes and correcting and what not that at this point in time in my life I'm just not there.

3. I wanted to be the next Diane Sawyer.  I have a resume tape to prove it.  I was really bad but I have the resume tape to prove that too!

I guess the point of this post is to touch on the fact that we all have shortcomings.  We all have things in our lives that we wish we had done differently.  I want to not focus on the fact that I have failed at something I want to focus on what I can do in the future to bring joy.  Not only for myself but for others as well.

Want to know a secret?  I want to be a motivational speaker or story teller.  I love to make people laugh.   I realize that at this season of my life I am currently not at liberty to devote so much of my time to a dream but I just wanted to write down on paper that it is in there, that hope in the back of my head.  I would love to get up on a stage and stand before thousands of people and make them come together through laughter.  I don't know how I'm going to get there but I want to do it, and I wanted to say it out loud so that maybe just maybe someday it could happen.