Shy children

I have two children.

My firstborn is introverted, shy, studious and literal.  My second is extroverted, outgoing, expressive and dramatic.  They are complete opposites.  If you know my husband and myself we have replaced ourselves in the universe.

I love both my children equally.  When we are at home they are both fun loving excellent individuals to hang out with.  It isn't until we go into public that their character traits pose a problem.  The reason for this entry today is how people treat my shy child.

My firstborn is 10 almost 11.  It pains him to speak to strangers.  We have worked on it for years instructing him to look people in the eyes and not to mumble.  He is getting much better at communicating with people he doesn't know.  Our nurse who hadn't seen my son in awhile started asking me all of the normal questions and before I could answer he looked her dead in the eye and started telling her all she wanted to know.  She wrote it all down and looked at me shocked.  She then addressed him from then on out.

I have a neighbor who had gotten something for my children on her last vacation.  She wanted to give the gifts to the children and with both my children present my quieter child often just allows his sister to take the limelight but my friend made it a point to make sure my son was able to say what he wanted to say.  I love her for that.

The next time a child won't talk to you don't take offense to it.  It is hard enough for us as adults to speak to strangers, now imagine that stranger is 4 feet taller than you.  Get down on their level ask them a question about something that might interest them or even just tell them your name eye to eye.

Children are our next generation of leaders, if you teach them disrespect when they are children how do you think they will treat you when you are older?  All people should respect all of the different age groups on the planet.  We all play a role and we all must learn to get along.

I remember a time when I was holding my daughter.  She was about 18 months old and she was grabbing my necklace hurting my neck and about to break it.  I had asked her several times to stop grabbing it.  I explained to her that if she did it again I would smack her hand.  She did it again, or so I thought.  I didn't do it hard and she didn't even really notice the smack but almost immediately I realized she hadn't pulled it that time, it was hung on my coat.  I apologized to her and explained how sorry I was and that I had thought she had disobeyed me but it was my mistake and I am so sorry.

My mother was watching me and said to me, Why did you apologize to her?  She doesn't even know what you are talking about.  I said True, but I know, and I need to show her that if you are wrong you apologize, whether she understands it now or not is irrelevant.

Respect.  Everyone appreciates it.  Everyone needs it.  Not everyone receives it.