Two or Three that is the question.

Okay, so I was good. I was fine. I was happy with my little family of four plus a dog. It wasn't even that my neighbor had a baby, it wasn't that my sister in law had a baby. I promise. It was a new friend. A beautiful precious new friend who I am going to look forward to getting to know. She has the most inventive wonderful blog where she chronicles all that is her life. She has three. Grr. There are beautiful photographs of her older daughter reading to the baby, and precious pictures of the stages that became a blur in the world of having two under the age of 2.

I realize that I am out of the woods. My kids can bathe themselves, feed themselves, dress themselves. They still need me but they don't NEED me. You know?

So, last night when my husband and I had "the talk" and he asked me to present the pros and cons and to talk to my doctor and to pretty much put together a power point presentation of why another child is a good idea for our family unit. I shut down.

I need to tell you something. 1. God has a most interesting sense of humor. 2. God knew exactly what he was doing when he put my husband and I together. (Some days I'm pretty sure it was more for his enjoyment than anything but I digress)

When it comes to decisions I am more of a pull the bandaid off and deal with the consequences after. My husband is more of the let's map out all of the details and then decide. I have to agree with him that when it comes to something as serious as the life of a child and how it will effect the lives of the 4 other members of this family his way is the more prudent way. I know this. I promise.

It's just I'm getting older and the age gap between my current children and the new possible addition is getting wider and I can argue either side and I just kind of want to give it a shot and if nothing happens before the end of the year be done. Turn the page. Decision made. Don't look back. I can't explain it any further than that. I just feel like I have been doing the 2/3 dance for almost 8 years and I just want a conclusion.

I understand that from the outside looking in it might seem hasty but in the world that is my head I have been singing this song for way too long and I just want to change the station.

Thank you for letting me vent that. I feel much better now.