Driving tips

Can we talk about some simple driving rules that I was pretty sure everyone knew to follow, but apparently I am incorrect?

1. The first lane aka the slow lane is thus named as such because it is the lane that people are to merge into traffic with. It is impossible to go from 0 to 70 in most cars therefore it is assumed that the "slow lane" will be able to allow drivers to adjust their speed and then progressively move left as need be in order to maintain a pleasing flow to the traffic pattern.

If you are going to use the slow lane to get around the people that have annoyed you by not going the speed of light in the "fast" lane then the only person you should be flipping off is yourself for being stupid.

2. The far left lane aka the fast lane is called this because people go fast in this lane. If you think you are going fast but someone is riding your tail then you must move right as you are not going fast enough. It doesn't matter if you are already going the speed of light if they are riding your tail then obviously they are willing to take their life into their own hands and therefore should be allowed to pass. Let them get a ticket you are not the judge and jury for their driving decisions. Just get out of their way.

3. All that being said do not ride on someones bumper flashing your lights and honking your horn in order to clear your path. They may seriously have no clue that you, the most important person of the year, has graced us with your presence! Unless you are on fire or about to explode take it down a notch or go around them you do not have to use the fast lane for your escapades. Next time plan for the fact that you need time to get where you are going we haven't figured out spontaneous transport yet. Sorry. Oh, and don't flip anyone off whilst passing as Karma shall bite thyself in the rear!

4. A turn lane is there for a reason. Never ever ever stop your vehicle in a row of traffic as to not utilize the turn lane that has been provided for you. I don't even want to know your reasoning. Use the turn lane.

5. If it is not possible to turn left due to traffic and you are holding up a million cars that are all turning right just turn right and figure out another way to get to your destination. No one needs a million people hating them. No one.

6. If it is trafficated and you are trying to get through a light and you see that there is no way you are going to clear an intersection don't block the intersection because you feel it your right. There is a groove to it and if you, one car, block the intersection then you are messing up the 13 or so cars that need to get through and if you would have just stayed put the congestion will not occur.

7. This being said if someone is waiting to see if there will be room for them to get through the light do not turn right on red therefore taking the courteous person's possible spot. It's all about flow people.

I'm sorry. I must stop now. I was trying to write this whilst my children were occupied and verily I say unto you I had one last nerve and I will be dag gone if they didn't just jump on it and do the hokey pokey. Holy cow!

Have a lovely day people I think I need a time out!!!