Ms. Congeniality.

Popularity. It plays such an important role in our society that pageants have given it a category. One of the pageant competitors. ( okay I don't even know what they are called pageanteers? pageantillians? ) Okay no clue. One of the people that is competing for the crown and sash K? K. Anyhoo, it is called Ms. Congeniality. They even made a movie or two about it.

My question of the day is how do you teach a child about popularity? How do you explain why the mean people are the ones with all the friends and even though your precious child is trying their very best to be kind to everyone they still end up being the last one picked?

I think this has been the hardest thing for me about parenting. I can't stand to see my children hurting and I want to take the pain away. In most cases, I am capable of fixing it. Bike wreck...I bandage. Nightmare...I cuddle. Sick...I comfort, clean up, and attempt to not vomit all over them. I'm a sympathetic vomiter what can I say. (A trick for this is put Vicks vapor rub on your upper lip then as long as the actual gag sound doesn't make you gag you're golden.) However, you can't protect them from their peers. The peer situation is always going to be an issue and my precious children are going to have to learn to deal with it.

My children are at a camp this week. They go every year, and they love it. My son is really good at sports but he is also painfully shy and doesn't like to speak to people he doesn't know. So, he gets picked last. Now, if the kids would let him play he would probably be one of the first picked every time. In fact, on the playground one year there were an odd number of players and one team had one less. It was my son's team. The boys on my son's team were complaining that they had less and then one of the "popular" boys yelled at them "Yeah, but you have "my son" he's so good he counts for at least 2".

This week I too have had to deal with my own peers. During pick up and drop off when the mom's are chatting about their summer and what not apparently I am not picking up when the people I know are picking up and these moms are not friendly at all. I have tried to speak, but they don't want to talk to me. Who knows what it is as an adult. I could make some educated guesses and all are pretty petty things so I will not go there.

My point is peers are always always always going to play a role in our lives. They will have the capability of making us feel bad about ourselves or as less than. The lesson we need to learn as early on as possible is that we are only responsible for the way we treat others. If others are mean to us the way we decide to react is a flashing sign about our character.

If someone new is standing alone in a crowd do you leave the circle of friends that you are talking to to include them? If someone you don't know comes up to talk to you are you warm and inviting returning the conversation to make the person feel comfortable or are you cold and spit out a quick answer to end the conversation as soon as possible.

I keep telling my son to not be shy, to speak up. It is hard for him. It might be hard for you to, but it will always going to play a role in your life and until you learn to handle it in a way that is positive you are never going to get voted Ms. Congeniality.

Have a great day today people! Talk to a stranger, preferably one that doesn't bite. :)